The Fertility Challenged One Thread -Summer 2014 - Page 10 - Mothering Forums

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#271 of 437 Old 08-01-2014, 02:01 PM
 
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Morning everyone!
Tina - if that's the case tracy's right find an enjoyable distraction that takes all your thinking!
Littlekind - trying to stay zen does seem best for you, if you did anything at all I would try something natural just to help balance your body. Or just lots of fun in life
Radio - they all seem to prefer 5 day blasts now, mine were a little slower last time and got transferred and frozen at 6 days, however we had 6 blasts so the doc wanted to grow them and make sure he put the best back. As the fertilized eggs get older day by day there is a drop off in numbers (that's how ivf boosts your chances - the eggs that aren't good may fertilize but they drop off along the way) so out if 14 eggs (last cycle) they all fertilized, but by day 6 we had 6 that were still growing and developing on track. Some people choose a day 3 transfer, but not many. If by day 3 you only have two eggs left - better to transfer them than wait and maybe have none at day 5. Hope that makes sense? Re transferring one - I'm all for that like Tracy (yep Tracy was scared of multiples!) except I also wonder if I put back the wrong sex for my baby etc if it won't take, so two gives more chance. Plus I'm old too
Tracy you have such a store of frosties now you can afford to transfer as many as you want
How's pregnancy treating you?
Monkeyscience - I've been stalking in the grads you're so far along now! Has it been a good journey?
Afm - a little sore around the ovaries when I move (like a period cramp only different location) oh and it hurts to pee a little (for those who haven't done it and are interested)
On the pre op waiting room instead of getting stressed I ended up taking to a lovely lady who was upset - she was in for a molar pregnancy removal (after her 3rd iui) so I spent the time chatting and trying to cheer her up.
Ok anyone who's done ivf - our doc gets is to bd two nights before and the night after (we missed that one - ouch!) in case he misses any eggs, what if he did miss a couple? Then if I insert two blasts I could end up with quads!!!??? Yep I would panic a lot! Anyone have this issue or doubt?
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#272 of 437 Old 08-01-2014, 03:11 PM
 
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@chuord
Really? My RE said we could not bd before or afterwards....... We have low sperm count so it would have not worked for us anyway . That is very interesting.
Can't wait for the report!!
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#273 of 437 Old 08-01-2014, 04:35 PM
 
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Tracy - my doc has so many things everyone has to do... Lol you can miss an egg!
Got fertilisation - 12 total, 5 ICSI, 7 ivf
So all going well
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#274 of 437 Old 08-01-2014, 10:00 PM
 
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We elected to only put back 1 blast on day 5, and she's great! The clinic I went to (baystate in mass) had their stats on a chart, and I could see that two didn't really improve pregnancy outcomes, but resulted in lots of twins! For a sibling, we might try two - I'll be older, and the stats are different.
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#275 of 437 Old 08-02-2014, 06:40 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi everyone,

Hope you all enjoy a great weekend.
Our major re-organizing/decluttering project for Sunday is the dry goods/food storage in the kitchen.
Today, I need to complete an assignment for school.

Trust me, we have planned a few fun things to do in the next couple of weeks.

Thanks for the suggestion @tracyamber

Hope your lifestyle changes will help @LittleKind

Our clinic stresses eSET as well, @radiowave . Our clinic will transfer 1 of high quality or 2 lower quality embryos especially since I am under 30 years old.

Thanks for the support/excitement @monkeyscience
@chuord , The clinic recommended that we try to BD after our IUI too. Glad your numbers are so good dear!

Hi @Autumnlaughing

Me 28, DH 30 , 2 Kitties and working towards having Baby #1. 
“The past has no power over the present moment.” Eckhart Tolle
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#276 of 437 Old 08-02-2014, 03:33 PM
 
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Morning ladies! Omg I don't know what is different to my first cycle (maybe my natural levels are better?) but the progesterone is knocking me around, it's making me so nauseous and teary that it's hard to function... I'm going to chat to him and see if I can at least reduce (8 x tablets and 4 x crinone a day is the schedule) the night time batch 9pm the nausea only wore off around 5-6am! Lol unless I'm channeling your progesterone journey radio sounds very familiar!
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#277 of 437 Old 08-03-2014, 06:40 AM
 
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Oh no, chord! I am so sorry you are having those affects. I hope that they can adjust your dosage. I don't know if I missed something, but when are you putting those guys in (2, I think you said)?
I am going on a last minute trip with my daughter to visit a friend near the beach in Rhode Island. Taking the train up today. I think it will be good to get in some relaxation before starting the IVF cycle next month.

Happy day to all!
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and my angel, Nico, , lost to us at 19 weeks gestation, 12/27/12
Longing for our rainbow
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#278 of 437 Old 08-03-2014, 02:42 PM
 
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Thanks radio... I sort of solved the problem, a little natural balancing, and I just stopped taking the tablets... 4 x crinone a day should be plenty...
Your trip sounds like fun - hope you enjoy!
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#279 of 437 Old 08-04-2014, 06:06 AM
 
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chuord - Congrats, sounds like a good report so far! Will you hear again before ET? On the BD issue... my RE also told us specifically to refrain, but we too have severe MFI, so it wouldn't have mattered anyways. I've honestly NEVER heard of an RE advising to DTD right after in case they 'missed any eggs.' Sounds really strange to me... and yeah, who in the world would feel up to THAT at that point??? Yikes.

radio - I think it just depends on the clinic. My RE initially said they liked to do 5 day transfers if you have a lot going for you... in the end they ended up deciding to do a day 3 with me and I'm not sure why. I remember asking them, but I think I remember their answer being kinda vague, more just 'that's what the RE decided to do' type answer. I still don't get it as we have 6 frozen day 3 embabies and 4 frozen day 5 blasts, so I think they coulda let them go to day 5 and we'd still have been way fine. We transferred 2 day 3's and 1 took.

Still stalking away.. hope to see a bunch of good news soon!!!


Me: 34, DH: 36, DD born 7/25/10 After 4 years of trying and failed IVF treatments (missing my angels).  IVF/ICSI worked this time! DS born 1/8/13!



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#280 of 437 Old 08-04-2014, 07:23 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi everyone,

AFM: I had a really rough day yesterday. I got really upset, emotional and let my anxiety take over. I need to really work hard to be kinder to myself. I also need to work on grieving my previous losses and stop living in the past and rather live in the here and now.
Today is a holiday so I think we might get to go to the museum (free admission) as a treat.

Sorry to hear about your nausea and emotionalness, @chuord . Hope the changes in dosing will help and make you feel better.

Enjoy your trip and some time relaxing @radiowave

Hi @hope4light

Me 28, DH 30 , 2 Kitties and working towards having Baby #1. 
“The past has no power over the present moment.” Eckhart Tolle
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#281 of 437 Old 08-04-2014, 07:06 PM
 
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@chuord - Yay! I have a good feeling about this cycle for you. You seem so Zen this time. Sorry about the progesterone issue. That med always kicks my ass. Usually by around 8 pm I am ready for bed on that one. In fact I started an app called sleep cycle. It has been pretty interesting. It tracks my sleep every night and then tracks it over time. I look at the times that I was on progesterone and even pregnant and definitely much more sleep and even better sleep!

@tinytina - I'm sorry you are feeling down today. I completely feel you on letting the anxiety take over. I really try not to do it but man given my track record it's really hard not to let the past creep in. I am really trying hard to stay in the moment but I still feel that little anxiety devil trying to get the best of me. Like "what if none of the frozen embryo's make it" stupid, stupid anxiety devil! I am going to have positive thoughts for the both of us!

@radiowave - I hope you have a lovely trip! Sounds like a great idea before starting IVF. On the question regarding PGD...my hubby and I also decided not to do the testing. When paying out of pocket every little bit counts. What meds will you do for your IVF cycle? I am always curious because everyone is so different.

@LittleKind - Hi! What's new for you?


Everyone else...HI!


AFM: Just trucking along on the good old estrogen patches. It is kind of odd, I actually feel like they give me a bit more energy. Phew, you never really know what all of these damn drugs will do. I am CD12 and will go in to check my lining on Wed (CD14). Once we see if my lining is ok we will start the thaw and will either do a 3 or a 5 day transfer. Sooo...that means a transfer either Friday or Sunday. However, we all know that things for me definitely don't go by the book soooo as I mentioned before...just taking it a moment at a time!

Me- 35 pcos DH- 37 no issues
TTC since December 2008 9 clomid cycles...break! 2 more clomid cycles with trigger and TI
IUI #1 April 2013- BFP Ectopic May 2013 IUI #2,#3,#4 BFN
IVF #1 Dec 2013- BFP! MC 9 1/2wks.
IVF #2 June 2014- OHSS 5 frosties
FET #1 August 2014 BFP!!
Identical Twins!!
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#282 of 437 Old 08-05-2014, 07:19 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi everyone,

I had a much better day yesterday. The museum was really fun- they had a neat temporary exhibit on early quilts- 1920s-1980s and the use of color and the amount of detail was amazing.

AFM: Well....insemination was a week ago yesterday, so DPO 8 and I am not sure what to think yet. Resisting the urge to test. Hoping to wait until Saturday since my blood test is next Monday.
Got to work on my last assignment for this course which is due Friday.

Thanks for the reassurance @adiejan . Its nice to know I am not alone. I am having a lot of issues dealing with the two miscarriages I had as a teenager. This process has made me doubt whether it will work. A lot of questions keep swirling around in my head. Super excited you are doing so well and getting close!

Me 28, DH 30 , 2 Kitties and working towards having Baby #1. 
“The past has no power over the present moment.” Eckhart Tolle
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#283 of 437 Old 08-06-2014, 03:25 PM
 
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How is everyone today??
Thinking about you all!!
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#284 of 437 Old 08-06-2014, 05:52 PM
 
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Oh ladies, I don't know what's up with me. For several days I had hives, which now seem to be finally better. Today I am trying sooooo hard not to symptom spot because I woke up feeling like a different person - nauseated, sore, tired, I could go on and on BUT I am trying to stay zen and not pay attention. I think the hives were from stress (new job, new ttc, son starting preschool, big test for my degree on Saturday) and the symptoms might be from stress, too. Or maybe I feel weird because I was taking benedryl for days and just stopped. My family went for a long walk through the mountains today along the river and it helped so much I think I am only about 3/4 through this cycle, and I'd rather not POAS anyway, so I am just going to distract myself.

BTW, I looked up whether antihistamine is bad during early pregnancy, just in case, because I have been taking it for my hives. and it turns out some women take antihistamine intentionally during TWW to suppress the body's immune responses which can reject implantation. Isn't that interesting?
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#285 of 437 Old 08-07-2014, 05:06 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hello everyone,

Still around- ran errands yesterday in the rain but at least it is sunny today. Worked on my last assignment for this course- just needs to be proof-read but should be able to pass it in today! Yippee! A break for about 3 weeks.

Hi @tracyamber

Hi @LittleKind , sorry to hear about your issues with hives and stress. Best of luck with all your changes and your big test too. I know it is so easy to symptom spot. I am not sure what symptom's I am having or not having. I was only pregnant twice during high school and I was totally freaking out before I miscarried that I have no idea what might or might not be a symptom of it now. Interesting information about antihistamines. I have issues with allergies but have stopped taking the pills and am treating the symptoms instead- for skin irritation I am using anti-itch cream.

Hope everyone is doing well.

Me 28, DH 30 , 2 Kitties and working towards having Baby #1. 
“The past has no power over the present moment.” Eckhart Tolle
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#286 of 437 Old 08-07-2014, 05:58 AM
 
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Hey all. I'm always reading alog and thinking of you all.


@adiejan - So??? How did your lining look? Are they going to start the thaw?

@tinytina - Good luck on Saturday. That'll be 12 dpo, right? You should be able to get a true answer on that day.

Married to one of the last good guys left Jim
Mom to AJ 4/07 and Genevieve 5/09

And then: I'm really, really tired of making angels.

But wait, could it really be true?


The whole story at: www.xerxella.blogspot.com
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#287 of 437 Old 08-07-2014, 07:02 AM
 
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Hey all, I recognize many of you from threads I've stalked over the years, and am finally ready to join.

I am excellent at getting pregnant and terrible at staying pregnant. I just had my third consecutive miscarriage, and have been bumped up from "unlucky midwifery patient" to "fertility patient." The only thing keeping me sane is the fact that I do have one child already, who I'm starting to think was a miracle baby. I should remind myself of that next time she is throwing a huge tantrum in a public place.

We're just starting down this path. Yesterday was the first time I'd met with an OB instead of a midwife, though they're all at the same practice which is nice. We're running a couple tests with the OB, and if they don't turn up any answers then she'll hand us over to the endocrinology department.

This most recent miscarriage sucks so, so much, but at the same time it's opened a bunch of things to investigate that previously weren't covered by insurance. All we've really checked for so far is thyroid... I'm probably the only person who has cried over not having a thyroid problem.

Mother to an adorable girl born May 2012, miscarriages in July and November 2013, August 2014.
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#288 of 437 Old 08-07-2014, 08:17 AM
 
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@MakeItSew WELCOME!! I am so so sorry for your losses. Sounds like you are in the right place and you and I have a lot in common. I had 3 miscarriages in 2012-13. I went to the RE for all kinds of testing and was told nothing is wrong. It made me furious. I understand being upset that nothing is wrong....because if something is wrong then you can fix it, right? Otherwise, you just feel stuck. My OB did say that it is faaar more likely to have 3 miscarriages in a row for no reason than to have something wrong, especially since I carried my son with no problems. I felt like I had hormone issues, though, because I was leaking breast milk way after my son weaned, had really long cycles with late ovulation and short luteal phases. I took vitex for several months and it fixed all of those symptoms. It makes things worse for some people though and isn't recommended for everyone, so don't take my word for it. I am on my first cycle TTC after taking a year break after my third miscarriage. It is really important to work through your fears and consider what is right for you. Some women take a break to heal, do herbal treatments, or whatever, and some women keep on TTC. On this board, most people are using medical assistance to conceive (IVF, IUI, donor eggs) and many have had at least one miscarriage. Xerxella and I are probably most like you with repeat miscarriages, but she is carrying twins now
Welcome to this little thread! Everyone is very good about talking things through with you, and you can PM me if you want to talk one on one about repeated loss specifically. I totally know where you are and how lonely it is.

As for me, I am writing a page of affirmations to keep my from letting my anxiety rule me during the TWW and (hopefully) early pregnancy. I will post them here when I am done.
@adiejan tomorrow is friday! What's up?

@chuord do you feel better now that you've adjusted the meds? what progesterone cream do you use? I use one that smells like lavender which I don't really like.

@tinytina I'm glad you are doing better now. Stress makes everything miserable

@Xerxella thanks for stopping in. always nice to hear from you.

Last edited by LittleKind; 08-07-2014 at 08:20 AM. Reason: typo
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#289 of 437 Old 08-07-2014, 08:25 AM
 
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@LittleKind wait, is it not normal to still have some breastmilk after weaning? We weaned about a year and a half ago, and while I don't leak I can still get a few drops if I try. I just sort of wrote it off as "things that change after you have a baby."

This most recent pregnancy was actually pretty easy, so I'm feeling OK about trying again. I could probably go another couple rounds if they're like this one, though obviously I would prefer not to. If genetics come up iffy I am totally fine with the idea of IVF, but husband isn't quite ready to think about crossing that bridge. Which is fine, we have at least 3 more months of tests before we really know anything.

Mother to an adorable girl born May 2012, miscarriages in July and November 2013, August 2014.
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#290 of 437 Old 08-07-2014, 08:34 AM
 
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I don't know how much milk is normal. I have asked some close friends and they all can extract a few drops if they try. I would have actual let-down response in the shower or at random times and dribble a bit of milk for no reason. I read that too much prolactin can cause this and also suppress progesterone and throw the hormones off. I didn't get my period back until my son was almost 2 because he nursed so much. That's not an outrageously long time but it could have caused a "new normal" for my hormones that's not conducive to staying pregnant. Or maybe nothing is wrong and I was unlucky 3 times. I'll probably never know.

Do you chart your fertility? Have you tried progesterone or baby aspirin in the first weeks to see if that helps the baby stick? It sucks to have to have 3 losses before they care enough to test you. I hated that. It also sucks to have a diagnosis (as many ladies here can tell you) or to have a clean bill and just wonder why this keeps happening.
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#291 of 437 Old 08-07-2014, 12:13 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LittleKind View Post
Do you chart your fertility? Have you tried progesterone or baby aspirin in the first weeks to see if that helps the baby stick? It sucks to have to have 3 losses before they care enough to test you. I hated that. It also sucks to have a diagnosis (as many ladies here can tell you) or to have a clean bill and just wonder why this keeps happening.
I chart on and off. After each miscarriage I charted long enough to make sure I was ovulating, and then stopped because it makes me crazy. My cycles are longish and somewhat irregular (30 to 38 days) but my leutal phase is a normal length so as long as I get the timing right we get pregnant pretty easily.

Mother to an adorable girl born May 2012, miscarriages in July and November 2013, August 2014.
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#292 of 437 Old 08-07-2014, 12:56 PM
 
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Hi Everyone!


Welcome @MakeItSew !! I definitely sounds like you have found the right place. I'm so sorry for your losses. I have lost two pregnancies in the past year and it has been awful. However, I had two definitive answers to my losses...1 ectopic and 1 turners syndrome baby. I really hope we all have our sticky rainbow babies soon!

@Xerxella - Hi!! How are you feeling mama? Thanks for asking about me. It looks like they will thaw them on Saturday and then I will have a 3 day transfer of 2 or 3 embies on Monday at 10:30. I am waiting to see their quality as they thaw and will decide then how many to put back. Did you put back 3?

@TinaT iny- I am so excited for you to test...I really hope its your BFP! What are you going to school in? I loved school and really miss it sometimes (I am a total nerd at heart).

@chuord - What's going on my dear??

@LittleKind -I love your affirmation idea! I am a big believer in the power of positive energy. I actually saw a ted talk by Brene' Brown a few days ago that really spoke to what happens with my anxiety through this process. Actually here is the link...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UoMXF73j0c Let me know what you think!

@tracyamber -thanks for checking in on us...you really are such a nurturing soul...I love it!


AFM: I kind of updated things in my message to X...basically trying to calm my anxiety about the embies surviving the thaw and progressing well. Just trying to take it a day at a time. I also got some interesting news at work that could mean an even bigger promotion which is kind of scary but exciting. I am currently the clinical director of a girls residential treatment program and it looks like I may be the associate excutive director soon...yikes. Luckily everyone here knows about my fertility issues and they are all super supportive. In fact my boss even gave me extra money to help pay for it! I think I would be freaking out about this possibility knowing that I will be taking maternity leave soon (right??...positive thinking here)! Anyhoo...I hope you are all doing well!
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Me- 35 pcos DH- 37 no issues
TTC since December 2008 9 clomid cycles...break! 2 more clomid cycles with trigger and TI
IUI #1 April 2013- BFP Ectopic May 2013 IUI #2,#3,#4 BFN
IVF #1 Dec 2013- BFP! MC 9 1/2wks.
IVF #2 June 2014- OHSS 5 frosties
FET #1 August 2014 BFP!!
Identical Twins!!
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#293 of 437 Old 08-07-2014, 01:38 PM
 
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@adiejan - Yeah! It sounds like things are moving along nicely! If more than what you want to transfer make it to day 5 in good condition, will they refreeze them? We transferred 3 day 5 blasts. But, 2 looked great and one looked horrible. They said they couldn't freeze the horrible one, so it was either transfer it or throw it out. Against their recommendations, I transferred it. There was a shadow of a collapsing 3rd gestational sac at the first u/s, so that was probably it. Luckily, it worked out for us and I'm glad I transferred it and gave it a chance. Now, I feel like I know for sure that it couldn't have made it on it's own. But, we'll never know "for sure." Maybe the crappy one made a so-far healthy looking twin? And, one of the perfect ones would've miscarried? But, that does not seem like the most likely scenario.

@MakeItSew , @LittleKind and anyone else suffering from RPL - Just for history, this is my 9th pregnancy. My first one we easily conceived my son. One try during the month, problem free pregnancy. While still nursing my son, I got pg with my dd on our third month trying, no problems. Then we tried for #3 . We, again, got pregnant quickly and found out at 11 weeks, that it was a blighted ovum. No baby formed. Miscarried at 14 weeks. Just one of those things..... We were pregnant again before my HCG made it to zero and watched it move way too slowly back up. It was a chemical and I started miscarrying at 5 weeks. There was some belief that it may have been ectopic, but it was never confirmed. It was then that I saw a specialist who ran all the tests. No problems. We waited while all the testing was run and then started trying again. Three months later we were pregnant. This time with monoamniotic identical twins. This type of twins has only a 50% survival rate. We were not in the winnig 50%. They were chromosonally normal 46XX. A few months later we got pregnant again with another early loss at about 5 weeks (low and slow betas). More specialist, more testing, no problems. Then I started seeing an RE. We got pregnant again with medicated TI and miscarried again at 5 weeks, again low and slow betas. Even more specialists, even more testing, no confirmed problems. I switched RE's and did IVF. We put back 3 day 3 blasts. Slightly low and slow betas. One bean implanted. It was always behind. At 7 weeks, there was no heartbeat and we did an embryoscopy, biopsy and D&C. Confirmed chomosonally abnormal, full triplody, 69XXX.


So:
1: Healthy DS
2: Healthy DD
3: Probably chromosomally abnormal
4: Possible ectopic
5: Monoamniotic twins, low survival rate
6: Probably chromosomally abnormal
7: Probably chromosomally abnormal
8: Known chromosomally abnormal, 69XXX
9: Current pregnancy


My personal final diagnosis is bad luck and a overly receptive uterus. Whereas, most women's uterus' will naturally reject an extremely choromosonally abnormal embryo, it appears mine does not, IMO. They have done studies that show women with recurrent pregnancy loss have a shorter time to conception than women without this problem. This hints that some RPL women have a non-discriminating uterus, therefore have more miscarriages. And, as we all get older, we're more likely to make chomosonally abnormal embryos which just compounds the problem.


http://www.webmd.boots.com/children/...n-miscarriages

Married to one of the last good guys left Jim
Mom to AJ 4/07 and Genevieve 5/09

And then: I'm really, really tired of making angels.

But wait, could it really be true?


The whole story at: www.xerxella.blogspot.com

Last edited by Xerxella; 08-07-2014 at 02:02 PM.
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#294 of 437 Old 08-07-2014, 02:07 PM
 
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@Xerxella wow, what a journey. Fingers crossed for these two! I've wondered the same thing about folks with repeated loss and easy conception. Like maybe my uterus just sucks at filtering out bad embryos. From where you are now, if you could do it all again do you think you'd go through the medicated / IVF attempts? Or just keep trying the old fashioned way?

I feel like if I knew I just have bad luck I could probably get through another few tries without too much heartache. The statistician in me is like "1 in 4 pregnancies ends in miscarriage. 3 in a row is a 1 in 64 chance, which isn't all that abnormal." But the feeling that I'm broken that kills me.

Mother to an adorable girl born May 2012, miscarriages in July and November 2013, August 2014.
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#295 of 437 Old 08-07-2014, 02:45 PM
 
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@adiejan , I LOVE that. I posted it to facebook. I had to stop the video and cry a little when she said we can't just turn off negative emotions. I definitely try to control everything and not allow hard things to bother me - and then I stop feeling joy and gratitude in the process. I am going to watch that again and again.

Here are my affirmations I have been reading over every time I get that anxious feeling in my gut or start obsessing over what might happen. They don't apply to everyone and some of you might actually disagree with a few, but it is helping me a lot so I thought I would share.

[thought: I have had so many miscarriages that I am just infertile now and should expect it again]
I am not bound by yesterday's fears and the heartaches of the past.
My womb is not broken. My body is not against me - my body is me.

[thought: Fear of still birth, late term loss, horrible birth, anything else improbable and way in the future]
I acknowledge difficult things happen, and I draw a line on these fears. I can manage today. I am ok in this moment.
I will freely grieve real pain, but this is from my imagination.

[thought: I shouldn't eat/do/experience this because it might not be conducive to getting/staying pregnant. OR I need to do a certain regimen a certain way to have any hope]
I cannot force any outcome to occur. If it "works," I feed an illusion that I am in control. If it doesn't, I feed an illusion that I am a failure. I cannot control this or fail at this, I can only be open to receive the outcome.

[this last one is just general gratitude. I use this one the most]
I am thankful my body sustains my life and for each day it has sustained my children. My body works.
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#296 of 437 Old 08-07-2014, 02:50 PM
 
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Originally Posted by MakeItSew View Post
But the feeling that I'm broken that kills me.
This is the hardest part for me, too. It is really easy to convince yourself you're broken and really hard to "take it back" once you believe it. I already posted above about what I believe and am telling myself when TTC after so many losses, so I won't go on and on. But things happen that are outside our control and it does not mean we've failed or are broken. Maybe some adjustments can be made, sure, but this experience means nothing in terms of your worth or capacity.
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#297 of 437 Old 08-07-2014, 03:15 PM
 
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ALSO (I just can't get off this thread today) @Xerxella thanks for that link about overly-receptive implantation. That never would have occurred to me and it just makes a lot of sense. I have gotten pregnant first month, first try every single time I conceived (4 times). So when I hear "there's a 20% chance of conceiving in every cycle even if you do everything right" I'm like, hmmmm my odds are way better. I know I am veeeery lucky to conceive so easily, because for most women here that is most of the battle and I feel for them. It is just interesting to think that conceiving so easily might also be part of the problem. I can certainly be easier on myself if I have another loss, knowing this is a possible explanation.
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#298 of 437 Old 08-07-2014, 05:41 PM
 
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@adiejan
Here is the list of meds for the IVF cycle in September, after I do 21 days of birth control pills (starting that tomorrow):
· Ganirelix or Cetrotide syringes - when directed.
· Gonadotropin FSH (Follistim, Gonal F, or Bravelle) and 75 IU FSH&LH (Repronex or Menopur)
· hCG (hCG, Pregnyl, Novarel), 10,000 units, 1 vial - “Trigger” intramuscular injection.
· Zithromax 1 gram - taken when directed evening before egg retrieval.
· Estrace 2 mg (#60) - taken when directed to start evening of egg retrieval.
· Endometrin vaginal insert (#60), as directed to start the day after egg retrieval.

Aimee

Aimee, mom to Mirah b. 08/09/08
and my angel, Nico, , lost to us at 19 weeks gestation, 12/27/12
Longing for our rainbow
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#299 of 437 Old 08-08-2014, 06:56 AM
 
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@MakeItSew - I'd do the IVF thing sooner. But, I'm old. I'm 39 now and I feel like I wasted a lot of years. If we had done IVF with PGD sooner, we'd have a nice crop of healthy beans to choose from and we could then put those back as we felt like it. I always wanted a large family and we DO have some frosties, so hopefully this isn't my last pregnancy.

@LittleKind and @MakeItSew - About the being broken part. My take on it is acceptance. Yes. I am broken. I am not perfect and, luckily, nobody is. There are some things I do great and some things I can't do. And, that's ok. I am a super milk producer and I have a super uterus that holds onto everything it gets. I've had 2 c-sections despite everyone's best efforts for complete and total failure to progress. There's a good side and a bad side to my problems. I feel like everyone gets a chance in my uterus and I'm not at risk for pre-term labor! But, of course, the bad side is RPL and C-sections. A "perfect" uterus would hold on when it's time to hold on and let go when it's time to let go. Oh well. I'm broken and that's ok.
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Married to one of the last good guys left Jim
Mom to AJ 4/07 and Genevieve 5/09

And then: I'm really, really tired of making angels.

But wait, could it really be true?


The whole story at: www.xerxella.blogspot.com
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#300 of 437 Old 08-08-2014, 09:14 AM
 
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@LittleKind - I absolutely loved every single one of your affirmations. Quite honestly they are the same fears and thoughts I plague myself with too. Particularly this one lately..."I shouldn't eat/do/experience this because it might not be conducive to getting/staying pregnant. OR I need to do a certain regimen a certain way to have any hope." I find that I get down on myself for not doing everything perfectly and this is a hard one for me to admit to other people. I had even convinced myself that I should wear any pink underwear because that's what I was wearing with my first loss. SMH!! Thank you for sharing!!!

@radiowave -looks like a pretty straight forward IVF protocol...I will be rooting for you and hoping the drugs don't effect you poorly!


@Xerxella - what an incredible journey you have been on. Thanks for being such a source of support and information for all of us!!

Me- 35 pcos DH- 37 no issues
TTC since December 2008 9 clomid cycles...break! 2 more clomid cycles with trigger and TI
IUI #1 April 2013- BFP Ectopic May 2013 IUI #2,#3,#4 BFN
IVF #1 Dec 2013- BFP! MC 9 1/2wks.
IVF #2 June 2014- OHSS 5 frosties
FET #1 August 2014 BFP!!
Identical Twins!!
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