The Fertility Challenged One Thread -Summer 2014 - Page 11 - Mothering Forums

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#301 of 437 Old 08-08-2014, 04:22 PM
 
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Hello
I haven't been here since my m/c in march.
We did one more cycle of IUI after, and were set to do a second when I ovulated ahead of schedule.
After all the hassles we decided to do IVF instead. Had issues with our old clinic (GRR) and found a new one in June (YAY).
We had hoped to use husband's sperm for the IVF but our Dr. and husband felt that was a terrible idea.
We started stims on july 18th and our ER was on sunday.
As of this morning we have 9 frozen blasts and 5 more still growing they are going to check on again in the morning.
This has been a lot harder then I thought it would be so it is nice to be back.
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#302 of 437 Old 08-09-2014, 01:38 AM
 
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Hi everyone! Thanks so much for all the love... I've just needed a break from the thread... I haven't caught up on everything, but am wishing you well! Did I miss any bfp's?
Afm transferred 2 blasts on Wednesday, 3 more base it to freezing so an ok round... The hormones are still hitting me reasonably hard, I feel like I'm sleeping 11 hours a day and still needing a nap lol... Dh is away from next Wednesday for 12 days, which isn't helping my emotional state right now - everything is great lol just too many hormones!
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#303 of 437 Old 08-09-2014, 05:49 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi everyone,

Hope everyone has a great weekend. Hope everyone is doing well.

AFM: Sorry I wasn't around yesterday. I had a busy day- running a lot of errands.
Been cramping a fair bit since Thursday. For 2 weeks: I have been struggling with stomach issues- heartburn and nausea. I have been emotional and moody.
I took a pregnancy test this morning. I got a stark BFN. I have a blood test scheduled for Monday morning. Feeling really down in the dumps and discouraged right now. Today is CD 27 (my cycles range from 26-28 days) and 12 DPO.

Thinking about you too @Xerxella . Thanks for sharing your story. Your journey gives me hope. I just worry that I am whining/complaining too much. I feel guilty knowing the journey's some of you have had to take so far.

So sorry to hear about your miscarriages @MakeItSew . Welcome!

Hi @LittleKind , stress does make everything worse. Love your affirmations. I always worry about what I am doing. Did I bump my stomach too much etc.? I am feeling a bit discouraged today and to describe it as feeling broken is very accurate.
@adiejan , I love school too, I could be a student forever LOL! I am doing my Master's in Education specifically Curriculum Design. I passed in my last assignment for course #9 . 1 more course to go this fall. Good luck with your new job position.

Best of luck for your IVF cycle in September @radiowave

Sorry things have been so difficult @tifga . Hope that things work out with your IVF cycle.

We understand that you need a break sometimes @chuord . We all do. Sorry to hear about all your hormones. Hope things are successful this cycle. Fingers crossed dear.

Me 28, DH 30 , 2 Kitties and working towards having Baby #1. 
“The past has no power over the present moment.” Eckhart Tolle
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#304 of 437 Old 08-09-2014, 12:38 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LittleKind View Post
[thought: I shouldn't eat/do/experience this because it might not be conducive to getting/staying pregnant. OR I need to do a certain regimen a certain way to have any hope]
I cannot force any outcome to occur. If it "works," I feed an illusion that I am in control. If it doesn't, I feed an illusion that I am a failure. I cannot control this or fail at this, I can only be open to receive the outcome.
I think this is a really good one for me. I've been really frustrated by having to put my life "on hold" for 3-4 months every time I get pregnant, only for it to go "to waste." I do a LOT of physical activity and I was glad that this time my midwife was fine with me doing everything (save a few dangerous moves on the aerial silks).

@tifga welcome back, I'm glad you found a clinic that is working better for you

@tinytina I hope you at least get some answers, and I'm keeping my fingers crossed for a late bfp. For me the most offensive part of my miscarriages is the amount of time I have spent tired/nauseous with no results to show.

afm I'm just hanging out waiting for my D&E on Tuesday. I'm going in on Monday for bloodwork and a "just to be sure" scan. I know in my heart this bub is a goner, but the D&E is sort of a moral/religious grey area for me and I need the 2nd ultrasound to feel sure I'm not removing anything living.

Mother to an adorable girl born May 2012, miscarriages in July and November 2013, August 2014.
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#305 of 437 Old 08-09-2014, 01:29 PM
 
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@tinytina
Thinking about you. I just do not like testing. Will you do it again or just wait for your beta on Monday? Try not to stress ( hugs)
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#306 of 437 Old 08-09-2014, 03:43 PM
 
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I'm with you Tracy - I find giving myself injections less traumatic than poas!
Tina - me I'd just wait it out, if it's no go maybe next cycle you could stim a little to boost your iui chances?
Makeitsew - hugs on the heartache, hope it's all over quickly do you can move onto healing.

Afm - more cheerful today (no progesterone yet lol) I've also tried to be 'perfect' in everything I do during the fragile tww, this month I'm not trying, I'm believing that my body is ready and perfectly set up to carry children... I'm looking at it as the same self belief you have before winning a race or getting that dream job. If I don't succeed - I'll try again... If you can manage it ladies try it, aside from the obvious hormone issues I'm living in a happy glowing place where the world is wonderful and I'm grateful for everything. Best bit is - it sure beats feeling inadequate.
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#307 of 437 Old 08-10-2014, 01:11 PM
 
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@chuord - I totally understand the need for a break! I'm glad you're back. Sorry DH will be gone! Mine travels usually every other thurs-Mon. I hate it. It has been great because he has actually been home for the past month and a half. I feel like I actually have a normal marriage for a minute ha ha! Will you test while he is away or just before he goes?

@tinytina - I am so sorry about the BFN...I truly, truly, hate those days. Are you going to test again or wait for Monday? That is awesome that you only have one more course! I have my masters in clinical psychology and I love it! Like I said I really do miss school though. What will you do with your masters when you're done?

@tifga -Welcome back! How are things progressing? Are you going to transfer any this cycle or are you doing a freeze all?

@MakeItSew - Sending you lots of support and positive energy for tomorrow. Even though you may be prepared I still think it is hard every step of the way. Hugs to you!!

@LittleKind -what's up with you?


AFM: Transfer is scheduled for tomorrow at 11:30am MT...I am interested to see what is happening with my embies. They started thawing them yesterday and said they wouldn't call us unless there was something that was not going well. So I'm assuming no news is good news...FX!! How many of you take valium before your transfer? It totally loops me
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Me- 35 pcos DH- 37 no issues
TTC since December 2008 9 clomid cycles...break! 2 more clomid cycles with trigger and TI
IUI #1 April 2013- BFP Ectopic May 2013 IUI #2,#3,#4 BFN
IVF #1 Dec 2013- BFP! MC 9 1/2wks.
IVF #2 June 2014- OHSS 5 frosties
FET #1 August 2014 BFP!!
Identical Twins!!
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#308 of 437 Old 08-10-2014, 01:54 PM
 
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@adiejan
I took Valium thus cycle because I wanted to do everupything they recommended. It totally made me loopy and I just remember I kept apologizing to the nurses because I could hardly talk. It only lasted a couple of hours.
Good luck tomorrow!
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#309 of 437 Old 08-10-2014, 02:14 PM
 
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I take Valium on my transfers too - it's like being drunk without the hangover... The lack of inhibition on talking gets way worse... I found it very relaxing though (lol obviously)
Fx adie!
Make it sew - hope all goes well.
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#310 of 437 Old 08-10-2014, 05:04 PM
 
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Hi everyone, just checking in! I am still have maybe a week or less left in this cycle - feeling pretty symptomy today and trying to just relax and put it out of my mind. Tomorrow is my first day in a new job - I' m a teacher going to a new school ( @tinytina it looks like we have the same masters degree. I finish in Dec. Mine is curriculum with an emphasis in math). The first week at my new school is all meetings and the kids start next Tuesday. I think I will feel better on my first week of work and the first week of classes if I DON'T know if I am pregnant, so everything is going according to my plan to just not test and not stress.

tinytina - 12dpo is still early. Did you test again? You'll be on my mind. A BFN makes me insane. hugs. Are you teaching too? When does your year start?
@tifga - welcome back here. I remember you. I think we both dropped off this thread around the same time. I am so sorry you've had so much difficulty and I hope that things turn around for you with your new clinic and new plan. How are your 5 that are growing now?
@MakeItSew - isn't it nice to be on this thread and know others have the same feelings and fears as you? I have avoiding picking up my son too many times because I "shouldn't" be lifting him, and I am just not going to live in fear like that anymore. Nothing like aerial silks for me, but that is amazing!!
@chuord - I just love reading what you write. You really ARE zen this time and it is rubbing off on me. Anyway we're in pretty similar time in this cycle so that's nice. Glad you're feeling better lately, too. If I remember right you're going in on Monday, right? Eager to hear a good report.
@adiejan of course no news is good news This is very exciting!! I'll be crossing my fingers for you tomorrow when I'm in my back-to-school meetings. I don't think I remembered to mention earlier that your news about work and promotions and how supportive everyone is there is all just wonderful. You must be so grateful!
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#311 of 437 Old 08-11-2014, 07:48 AM
 
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Good luck today adiejan!! I don't know what your time is so I'm posting now
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#312 of 437 Old 08-11-2014, 07:50 AM
 
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Yes…sending lots of baby dust your way @Adie jen!

Aimee, mom to Mirah b. 08/09/08
and my angel, Nico, , lost to us at 19 weeks gestation, 12/27/12
Longing for our rainbow
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#313 of 437 Old 08-11-2014, 11:32 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hello everyone,

AFM: Sorry, I have been trying to deal and process with everything that has been going on. The cramps have been getting worse and I am spotting today. So I guess we can say AF is on the way. I did get my blood draw this morning and found out right before 1 pm that my blood test was negative. I guess I will have to move myself back to Waiting to O. We can call the clinic and try again as soon as we are ready.

Personals:
Thanks for reassuring me about continuing to live my life without worrying too much the entire time.

Sorry to hear about your D&E @MakeItSew

I definitely waited until my BETA today @tracyamber , thanks for the support

The clinic said no interventions for 6 cycles because of my age, health, etc. @chuord . You and your inner strength amaze me. Thanks for the inspiration dear

I have absolutely no idea what my plans are after I finish my Master's yet @adiejan . I did apply for a couple jobs yesterday at the local university. Best of luck at your transfer today. Fingers crossed

I am just a substitute teacher in our school board. Haven't found a job yet. Hope you can relax and enjoy the beginning of the school year @LittleKind .

Hi @radiowave

Me 28, DH 30 , 2 Kitties and working towards having Baby #1. 
“The past has no power over the present moment.” Eckhart Tolle
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#314 of 437 Old 08-11-2014, 02:05 PM
 
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@chuord Thanks for the well wishes. I'm glad you're taking care of yourself, but don't let being "perfect" overcome you! But I totally understand wanting to have some sort of control over the situation. Just don't let it drive you nuts.
@adiejan fingers crossed that your transfer went well... and that you're not TOO out of it
@LittleKind I totally feel you about being less stressed out when not pregnant. We waited a while between the last attempt and this one because I just wanted a BREAK from it all
@tinytina sorry AF has reared its ugly head

AFM: Scan this morning was as expected: no heartbeat. Not at all surprising, the scan was really just to calm my nerves. My OB did it at her office instead of sending me to Radiology at the hospital, which I appreciated. Aside from the lack of heartbeat there were other signs that things just weren't right with this embryo. The yolk sac was large and irregular.

I did find out I'm on the schedule for 7:30am tomorrow, so hopefully I'll be in and out quickly instead of starving waiting around pre-op all day. Silver lining! I was nervous about seeing an OB after seeing a midwife for so long, but I really like this lady.

Mother to an adorable girl born May 2012, miscarriages in July and November 2013, August 2014.
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#315 of 437 Old 08-11-2014, 03:16 PM
 
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Adie - fx all went well!
Tina - hugs on AF, hopefully next month will be better. Re no intervention, I understand the intent of the doctors office, but would have thought they would make exceptions by individual cases... Hope this way works for you! Lol I'm the other extreme - in the 'so old' category that they quickly jumped into intervention!
Makeitsew - I'm really glad that you got a good Ob connection out of this, finding people you like is always a bonus (even if it's not the route you'd chose) I'm glad the scan have you peace and hope you recover quickly tomorrow, not just physically. Having seen the irregular sac I guess it makes more sense but doesn't make the process any easier.
Radio - how's things?
Littlekind - are you still relaxed?

Afm - although medically my only problem is age and therefore egg quality, when I've been doing my natural treatments there were some issues with implantation and the nutrition I needed to make that happen... So I'm really not trying to be perfect - but in my heart this is the time that I worry, so I've just been trying to do the right things lol... Oh anyone who's done ivf, I wasn't bloated after retrieval, but I got bloated (sore stretched tummy muscles) after the booster hcg shot the night if my transfer - I haven't taken either subsequent booster... It's almost a week later and I've been distended the whole time (weight has barely changed though) anyone else get this?
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#316 of 437 Old 08-11-2014, 03:56 PM
 
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Hi All! Thanks for all of the well wishes and positive vibes! I could definitely feel them. Things went well today! We decided to transfer 1A and 2B 3 day embryos. I really didn't like the idea of Re-freezing just one. They actually thawed all of them. I knew the one in the single straw wasn't going to be good. So I'm happy with this outcome. There is an 8% chance of triplets and 30% for twins. I am just praying it works and sticks!!! I guess I'm now in waiting to know-2ww. Beta is on the 22nd but let's be honest I'll POAS far before then!

I'll be back for personals later!

Me- 35 pcos DH- 37 no issues
TTC since December 2008 9 clomid cycles...break! 2 more clomid cycles with trigger and TI
IUI #1 April 2013- BFP Ectopic May 2013 IUI #2,#3,#4 BFN
IVF #1 Dec 2013- BFP! MC 9 1/2wks.
IVF #2 June 2014- OHSS 5 frosties
FET #1 August 2014 BFP!!
Identical Twins!!
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#317 of 437 Old 08-11-2014, 04:40 PM
 
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Congrats adie!!!! Fx!!!
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#318 of 437 Old 08-11-2014, 06:56 PM
 
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Just popping in to check on @adiejan and @chuord - chuord I thought you were getting beta today? Maybe I got mixed up. That is so weird to be distended. Sounds uncomfortable!
Adie fingers crossed for you!! Hope you can relax now and through POAS time

I'll catch up more on personals later. I'm keeping cool and trying not to symptom spot or count days. Starting a new job helps distract me. My first day of middle school wore me out! Going to bed so early.
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#319 of 437 Old 08-12-2014, 09:04 AM
 
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Horrible morning. Just learned that my husband's insurance won't cover IVF at all. No way we can afford it otherwise. Wondering if this is the end of our journey. Only possibility I can think of is if they can find some way to treat his motility issues, and collect sperm a different way so we can get a higher count. Anyone have any experience with this?
I am missing my baby boy so much today..if only he had lived.


Would love to hear good news from others! What is going on?

Aimee, mom to Mirah b. 08/09/08
and my angel, Nico, , lost to us at 19 weeks gestation, 12/27/12
Longing for our rainbow
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#320 of 437 Old 08-12-2014, 09:46 AM
 
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@radiowave - so sorry love! My insurance doesn't cover a penny of it either! Hugs!!
@MakeItSew -good luck today! Hugs to you too!
@tinytina -sorry AF showed up! Do you feel ready for the next go around?
@chuord - I felt bloated after my retrieval the entire time when I got pregnant. Fx that's what it is for you. I obviously felt bloated with ohss but with weight and circumference changes. When is your beta?
@LittleKind -how is the new job?
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Me- 35 pcos DH- 37 no issues
TTC since December 2008 9 clomid cycles...break! 2 more clomid cycles with trigger and TI
IUI #1 April 2013- BFP Ectopic May 2013 IUI #2,#3,#4 BFN
IVF #1 Dec 2013- BFP! MC 9 1/2wks.
IVF #2 June 2014- OHSS 5 frosties
FET #1 August 2014 BFP!!
Identical Twins!!
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#321 of 437 Old 08-12-2014, 02:16 PM
 
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Hugs radio! Have faith that the iui will work, also that you've gotten pregnant before do for you miracles happen!
Littlekind - you are staying so relaxed, loving it!
Adie - thanks for letting me know re bloating... I'm going to my natural lady to see if she can help... Every abdominal muscle hurts from the stretching! Docs not worried... It's just uncomfortable - lol to eat, drink, breath, move...
Afm - beta on Saturday, lol unless I'm too scared to go
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#322 of 437 Old 08-12-2014, 04:07 PM
 
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Hugs radio! Have faith that the iui will work, also that you've gotten pregnant before do for you miracles happen!
Littlekind - you are staying so relaxed, loving it!
Adie - thanks for letting me know re bloating... I'm going to my natural lady to see if she can help... Every abdominal muscle hurts from the stretching! Docs not worried... It's just uncomfortable - lol to eat, drink, breath, move...
Afm - beta on Saturday, lol unless I'm too scared to go
Bahaha! @chuord i seriously laughed out loud at your post! If you dare go!!!! You crack me up!
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Me- 35 pcos DH- 37 no issues
TTC since December 2008 9 clomid cycles...break! 2 more clomid cycles with trigger and TI
IUI #1 April 2013- BFP Ectopic May 2013 IUI #2,#3,#4 BFN
IVF #1 Dec 2013- BFP! MC 9 1/2wks.
IVF #2 June 2014- OHSS 5 frosties
FET #1 August 2014 BFP!!
Identical Twins!!
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#323 of 437 Old 08-12-2014, 04:16 PM
 
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Adie I know right... I'm so sick of negative results lol. How are you feeling?
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#324 of 437 Old 08-12-2014, 04:50 PM
 
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@radiowave I am sorry. That must be really discouraging. Fertility problems are so unfair and it is like a smack in the face that they're so expensive, too. Please don't give up hope. s
@chuord that's hilarious and so true. I hate negatives. My husband jokes that I am hoping to just turn up at the doctor one day to learn that I'm 9 months pregnant and had better buy diapers. Yea, that would be ideal! I'm keeping a close eye on you and @adiejan for a while. Fingers crossed for you both.

ASM I guess I am still pretty cool and collected. I have had a lot to distract me. The hives never went away so I went to a chiropractor who is actually more of a holistic body systems kind of guy. I had never been to see him but my sis and friend swear he is amazing. He WAS amazing. I am going to see him once a week or so for a while and see if my inflammation/hives/digestion/miscarriages/whatever all clear up because he says they're all connected. He really seemed outraged for me that I continue to miscarry and drs said there's no reason or fix. It is nice to have someone actually care about what you're going through!
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#325 of 437 Old 08-13-2014, 05:12 AM
 
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Chuord - keeping my fingers crossed for your beta, you know, if you go ;-)

Tinytina - I'm so sorry hun, hang in there.

radio - don't give up hope sweetie. Most people around these parts have had to pay for it all out of pocket. Things will work out, just not sure how.

adie - good luck! I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you!!
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#326 of 437 Old 08-13-2014, 05:44 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi everyone,

AF is definitely here, today is CD 1- lots of cramping and not feeling well. I don't know what happened this month. My normal 26-28 day cycles lasted 30 days this month.

Thanks @MakeItSew . Sorry to hear about your scan. Hugs hun

Maybe its because of all the testing coming back okay @chuord , I am not sure. I feel this need to do so much too before the next cycle. I am putting a lot of pressure on myself.

Fingers crossed @adiejan . Not really sure where I am at yet. I am really hoping to be ready to go. However, my parents are coming to visit 27-30th this month.

Glad the new job is helping @LittleKind

So sorry @radiowave . Hope you can come up with a solution

Thanks @hope4light

Me 28, DH 30 , 2 Kitties and working towards having Baby #1. 
“The past has no power over the present moment.” Eckhart Tolle
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#327 of 437 Old 08-13-2014, 05:46 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Updated to Here! Please put any changes into BOLD! Thanks
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#328 of 437 Old 08-13-2014, 07:46 AM
 
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The Fertility Challenged One Thread -Summer 2014

@ tinytina
I hope you are doing okay. Getting a negative can be so heartbreaking. I hope you are ready to move on to your next cycle. Hugs

Last edited by tracyamber; 08-13-2014 at 07:47 AM. Reason: m
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#329 of 437 Old 08-13-2014, 08:18 AM
 
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@ tinytina I hope your doing ok. ((hugs))
@MakeItSew i am so sorry for your loss.

We now have 10 frozen embryos for later use. We lost 4 on day 6 so we are both a little sad about that.
The Dr. wants me to take 1 month to recovery so our FET probably won't be until Oct. which is just about forever from now.
Monday was our 13th wedding anniversary so we went to the drive-in and played board games, we are very dull people.
Hope everyone else is doing ok.
tinytina and adiejan like this.
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#330 of 437 Old 08-13-2014, 03:20 PM
 
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Brisbane Australia
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Radio - here's a thought, what's the waiting period if dh changes to an insurer that covers ivf? Even if it's a 12 month wait maybe that will be shorter than saving the money? Not sure how the us system works... I get nothing from my private insurance here but the govt pays half back.
Littlekind - yay!!!! Not about the hives, but about finding someone who is going to heal you holistically... It could be some minor imbalance that's throwing you off - he'll find it I'm sure xx
Hope4light - thanks for the love it's always appreciated!
Tina - just so you know I'm having trouble getting my pm's to work... Will play with it in a bit. Breath, and indulge - the best way to deal with AF is to eat all the contraband you want (sushi, alcohol) if you can't have your number one prize treat yourself with the second best. Hugs sweetie!
Tracy - hi there so can you tell your pg yet?
Tifga - congrats on 10 frosties!!! I know the sad feeling I had a few drop off then too... But it's a lovely feeling to know there's insurance in the bank. Enjoy your month of contraband - and let's face it, no meds, no timing or temping - wow that's freedom lol
Afm - still a bit bloated and sore, but way more relaxed and calm... Lol littlekind - maybe that's an idea, I will just wait an extra month and see what happens lol I think you ladies would fly over and drag me for a test before it went that far... Adie - you are normally an early tester right?
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