SIL struggling to conceive :( advice? - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
Old 01-25-2015, 06:53 PM - Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 2
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Unhappy SIL struggling to conceive :( advice?

Hi there,

My SIL (married to my brother) has severe fertility issues and has been struggling to conceive for the past two years. I am after some advice relating to a situation that has arose in our family. My younger sister and her hubby have just got pregnant. They literally were one of those couples who got pregnant on the first try. I am so feeling for my sister in law at the moment, she is absolutely devastated on hearing this news and has been trying to be happy for my sister but at the same time its just hit home to her all the more the problems that she and my brother have been having. She has endometriosis and ovarian cysts - has had surgery for the endo and cysts a year ago but still no luck.

I am wondering on how to help her cope with the next 7-8 months? does anyone have any advice? I want to be able to help her through this and support her as I know it will be a tough time for her and it seems so unfair in a way, given that they've been trying for so long and have had no luck.

I should add that I've got children of my own so probably makes it even harder for her.
misselthwaiteforager is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 01-26-2015, 04:45 PM
 
tracyamber's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 4,065
Mentioned: 413 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 83 Post(s)
I would just listen and support her like you ha e been. Also, she may want to come to the site herself and join the infertility challenged thread. That's where most of us have gottan our support.
Best


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
tracyamber is offline  
Old 01-28-2015, 11:55 AM
 
pokeyac's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Bay Area, Ca
Posts: 3,832
Mentioned: 30 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 42 Post(s)
Just be a good friend and support, listen. Don't offer advice. Let her feel what she feels. I wouldn't avoid talking about the pregnancy unless that's what she wants you to do because if people are on eggshells around her, it might make her feel more isolated and uncomfortable. If there is a shower, don't expect her to go. Let her skip it if she wants. There are lots of good articles about what to say/not say to someone with infertility. Here is one.



Married to a wonderful woman since 2010. Baby boy C arrived in June 2013!

Check out our User Agreement.
pokeyac is online now  
Old 01-28-2015, 03:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 2
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Thanks for the advice, ladies. I just so feel for my sister in law. She and my brother have been trying for over two years to conceive and she has severe endometriosis and cysts on her ovaries. My sister on the other hand, got pregnant after trying ONCE. It just seems so unfair. I'll take the advice about just letting her take the lead on talking about it etc. I've told my mum not to go on and on about the pregnancy (as she is prone to do, she thinks in a way my SIL needs to 'get over it' and has told my brother to tell her the same and to 'Try to be happy for my sister and her husband' and 'act happy' etc). I don't think my mum understands what a big deal this is to my SIL. When she found out the news she told me she was devastated and couldn't stop crying for hours.

She and my brother are going to see a fertility doctor in a month's time. I'm really hoping it will give them some hope and that they might be able to start some fertility treatments which will give them a chance for their much wanted child.
misselthwaiteforager is offline  
Old Today, 05:37 PM
 
tracyamber's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 4,065
Mentioned: 413 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 83 Post(s)
Oh good, sometimes just a little help is all it take!


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
tracyamber is offline  
 
User Tag List

Thread Tools


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off