The AUGUST Infertility One Thread - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 182 Old 07-31-2008, 10:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
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August


The Infertility ONE Thread

A monthly thread to talk about all of our various journeys through the difficult, trying, and often heartbreaking world of infertility. This thread is a place to chat, vent, get support, cheer each other on, and hopefully occasionally laugh!

Trying to Conceive


barose TTC since 1999 (with intermittent breaks), 1 30wk MC, PCOS (treated with diet/ lifestyle) and Hypothyroid.

biomama TTC since November 2007. Waiting for a fall IVF.

blueyezz4 - Trying since July 06'. Started on the drug/IUI route in July, and hoping for a BFP with just the use of clomid after not being able to do the first IUI due to too much thinning of the lining (it was @ 3). First IUI will be the second to last or last week in Aug.

Corikodjo 39, TTC since August of 2007,1 Chemical Pregnancy 11/07, on 2nd IUI

crazyrunningmama TTC #2 with MFI, DC#1 conceived with IVF/ICSI. Weaned dd in order to do IVF, doing weekly acupuncture and gearing up for another cycle of IVF/ICSI.

Crystal-mommy TTC #2 w/ PCOS on and off for 3 yrs. 2 clomid cycles-BFN, 1st cycle w/ femara

EastbayK TTC #2 since June 2007 with unexplained infertility and while treating cancer (DH). TTC with clomid/IUI.

FierrBugg - TTC #1 since February 2001, mis-dx w/ PCOS in 2002, but do have hormone and ovulatory issues. Finally dx in 2007 w/ a host of clotting properties, low Growth Hormone compensated for by elevated Cortisol and past exposure to nasty viruses that don’t bother me, but love to attack my pregnancies. Taking a mix of supplements and conv. meds. Starting cycle 1 of clomid + injectibles as soon as af rears her ugly head.

gumby74 - ttc #2 with just the use of folic acid and baby aspirin. If not successful, we will do the hormone IUI route starting next cycle.

Held - TTC #1 since 2005 (although no prevention since late 2002). Dealing with mild MFI (low motility) and unexplained. Currently praying and hoping that somehow with the help of prayers, Vit C, E and Zinc for husband, we will be blessed. :

hope4light TTC since March 2006 with MFI and slightly low progesterone. Currently TTC with IVF with ICSI, cycle 1 round 1 and 2 canceled. Round 3 left me with a BFN.

jasminewb After five failed IUI's, starting my first (and hopefully only!) IVF cycle with Lupron supression on August 30th.

Katie34 - 35 yrs old, IF due to toxins from periodontal surgeries. Trying chinese herbs and sweats and other natural ways to make the body healthier.

kristenok18. TTC#2 since 2004, taking a break.

kristinc Grieving after failed IVF w/ ICSI attempt #1. Trying to figure out a new game plan and find a new RE who doesn't think my 27 year-old eggs are too old.

LibbyLou TTC with PCOS. Cystic fibrosis carrier. Waiting on DH's blood test results to determine the next treatment.

lola88 37 years old (38 in December). TTC since October 2005. Finally got BFP in March '08 only to m/c at 9 weeks. Started first round of clomid 3 days ago, and starting first IUI in September.

Mawandjls TTC since Oct 2006 with MFI due to vasectomy. Preparing for IVF.

OrganicSister - I have a 9 yr old son; TTC (my #2, his #1) since Jan of '03. We're just starting an IVF cycle this month.

Perdita_In_Ontario TTC#2 since December 2007, started TTC#1 in 1999, MFI (CBAVD) diagnosed in 2002, DC#1 concieved via IVF/ICSI in October 2004. IVF#3 - BFN - Consult w/o June 1 for next steps

poetgirl TTC since October 2006 with low progesterone, possible LPD and hypothalamus dysfunction. Removed polyp 3/08. On 22nd cycle, doing IUI, acupuncture and pre-O cleanse. Progesterone in LP

Pookietooth - Jennifer, 42, married to Bill, 43. Diagnosed with PCOS 12 years ago, 1 DS (5 1/2). Tried to use diet, supplements, homeopathy, and herbs to conceive again, but then on my 42nd birthday decided to once again go to an RE. So far tried clomid, femara, and currently trying Follistim (supplementing with acupunture).

sharibollers TTC with Follistim and IUI.

shastasue - 31 and living in Kansas. TTC for 2 years as of the end of June. Diagnosed with PCOS (insulin resistant), secondary to hypothyroidism caused by surgery and and radioiodine ablation for a tumor, and secondary autoimmune disease (Grave's). Had a lap done in April to remove a fibroid, an adhesion on the left ovary, and to remove a chocolate cyst on the right ovary and repair a ruptured cyst on my right ovary that was bleeding. DH has low motility as well (40%). Currently on Metformin, and was taking clomid before the cysts.

songbird45 TTC #1 with PCOS since January 2007 - Two failed Clomid cycles and no longer a candidate for Clomid. Two failed Femara cycles. Currently trying Femara / IUI again.

Tandy~36 yrs.~TTC #1 for 4 years (2 years with doctor and 1 year break) after 2 miscarriages due to hypercoagulation (blood clotting) solved by taking a blood thinner when i get pregnant again...taking Metformin 1500 mg daily...and natural progesterone cream after possible conception every ovulatory cycle...shouldn't take clomid due to a mood disorder so trying to avoid it...weight/nutrition issues due to other medications but now getting it under control by tapering off those medications and eating better and exercising...

Voltige - TTC #2 for 14 months, suspected endometriosis and possible PCOS. Diagnostic/surgical laparoscopy scheduled for 8/13

WeasleyMum TTC since October 2006, 4 MCs

Willllthiswork - 25 - TTC #1 since September 05 - First IVF failed


Graduates
(May everyone who passes through this thread find their way to this section)

soulshine TTC since June 2005, full-term unexplained stillbirth (2005) and MC (2006), with unexplained secondary infertility. --> APRIL 2008

kJad29 TTC since July 2006 with possible MFI, TTC naturally -->MAY 2008

Gillian28 TTC#1 Since April 2007 --> JUNE 2008

Puffnstuff TTC #1 since early 2007. --> June 2008

laralee16 --> June 2008 (while on a break!)

baturay TTC#3, DC#1 and 2 conceived with Clomid. --> June 2008

Aly22681 TTC #1 since January 2007, 3 MCs. --> July 2008

Kiki99 TTC #1 since Apr 2007 (unexplained infertility) with DH. 1 unmedicated IUI - failed, 2 Clomid IUI's - failed and had my 4th IUI with injectables. --> July 2008

mischievium :TTC since February 2007 with MFI (antisperm antibodies) and possible mild congenital adrenal hyperplasia. Currently TTC with Clomid and IUI. --> July 2008

Jelly Bean TTC #2 since April 07. one unmedicated IUI, one month of just clomid, one month of clomid and 2 IUI's and this month we did injectibles and 2 IUI's. --> July 2008

Julia'sMom TTC#2 with PCOS. DD1 conceived with met, clomid & hcg. No response to clomid, starting IVF. --> July 2008

blueRhino TTC #1 since June 2007. TTC with Chinese herbs and acupuncture. --> September 2008

PLEASE let the threadkeeper know if there is anything you would like to add/ delete/ change from your synopsis above (including silly things like not liking the color your username is in) either by bolding the information you want changed/ updated in your post or by sending the threadkeeper a PM. And PLEASE check to make sure that the correct chart is linked to the chart icon in front of your username.

Mom to a little boy (June 2009)
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#2 of 182 Old 07-31-2008, 10:04 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I think I updated everyone who needed to be updated / added, but if you're not there or your info is wrong, PM me or put your request in bold. Thanks!

Mom to a little boy (June 2009)
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#3 of 182 Old 07-31-2008, 11:38 PM
 
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SOOOOOO I think since I have posted several times and lurked often, I should probably introduce myself.

My name is Tricia. As my signature says....DH and I tried for four years before we were able to conceive the keeper of my heart, Andrew. It was a long struggle that included at least two Miscarriages, but in the end all the sadness and despair were so worth it.

Getting connected with a great Infertility doc is what made all the difference. He discovered that I was missing a gene that metabolizes folic acid and dh has a low sperm count....10 million or so.

In order to achieve pregnancy, I was placed on hormones to thicken my endometrium as well as take mega doses of folic acid and one baby aspirin a day. In addition to all of this, we tried a thrid IUI. The combination of everything worked.

This is our first cycle of TTC. Our infertility doc is no longer practicing, so we are going to try for at least one month on our own. I am currently taking 4mg of folic acid a day as well as one baby aspirin and omega 3's. I'm starting grad school in the fall and am sort of on a timeline. If it doesn't work this month I am going to have to go another route right away. I hate these extra expectations, but I really need to try and have this child at the end of the school year. We shall see how that goes

Currently, I am 8DPO and am trying my hardest not to think about it, but it's amazing how it creeps into random thoughts throughout the day.

In any case, it has been great reading everyone posts and I hope to not stay here too long! Best of luck to everyone!!!!!

Tricia, married to DH. 2MC's & 4 yrs ttc...finally mom to Andrew6/06 and Benjamin 10/09. Adopted bro & sis 2002. My 2 fav. words: Spay and Neuter! I'm an Ultimate Viewer, 2010!

 

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#4 of 182 Old 08-01-2008, 01:52 AM
 
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Lola and Tricia welcome to the group

songbird thanks so much for the new thread and for adding me!

Not expecting too much this cy as FF has me at 3dpo what with my huge spike this a.m. Oh well time will tell. I truly think we are out since bd didn't occur until the day after o

Can you add my chart to the list too please? o I took it off when I was mad http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/f763c
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#5 of 182 Old 08-01-2008, 01:56 AM
 
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Held, biomama and gumby74....thanks so much for your advice. I think we will spend the night and go in the next day. The clinic says that will work.....

Do any of you have good recommendations for OPKs? I am using clearblue easy, and to me, they are NOT easy to read!! The lines almost always appear blurry, so I can't really tell. I wondered if any of you are using anything easier to read?
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#6 of 182 Old 08-01-2008, 06:15 AM
 
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Songbird I am glad your hsg went well, and now you know what you are dealing with. I have had several pts w/ the different type of uterus and they go on to full term delivery. Good luck!! Hope this is your month too!!

AAM Still sore from sugery, and a little dizzy. Dr said I had adhesions on my left ovary, my bladder was connected to the uterine wall, took out a few fibroids, he thought he wasn't going to be able to salvage my left tube but was able to get all the adhesions off, and I had endometriosis on the back of my uterus. Holy cow!! No wonder I coulnd't get preg... I was all screwed up in there!! Still having some trouble peeing, I have to sit and concentrate for about 5-10 min, talk abut a pain!! Dr told DH that our next struggle was going to be getting me preg... hopefully it won't take long. Surgery sites aren't really sore that much, altho i am bruised already. Its all these gas pains from surgery... they climb up into my shoulders and feel like I am dying. Dh said "I think you just needed a tune up!" glad to know we are likes cars!!

oh yeah, and I had mucus in my tubes, flushing the dye thru them helped that. Didnt get too hysterical after surgery.. I cried a little, but I least I didnt pitch a hissy fit like I did last time!! lol And the best part... they only had to stick me once for my iv!! Usually I am like a pin cushion!!

Eastbayk Make sure u don't plan on doing anything the first day or two.... and if u are a puker, tell them u want a scopalamine patch, helped me a lot. Was nauseated, but never did throw up (very unusual for me after surgery).
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#7 of 182 Old 08-01-2008, 09:42 AM
 
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hi ladies,

how is everyone feeling this Friday? I hope it's a fertile weekend for everyone!

I have my hysteroscopy today, for them to remove my polyp. DH is able to come with me, so I'm very happy about that. I had thought he would have to work. They won't let me drive, because they're going to sedate me. I'm a little nervous!

crystal-mommy, that sounds like quite a tune-up! I hope you feel better soon and have a complete recovery from the surgery, and that you get pg soon!

Lola, that sounds like a good plan, and then you won't be stressed about being late or anything. Keep us posted!

Gumby, welcome again, and good luck in the rest of your 2ww. We can all relate to those thoughts! Stay positive

Songbird, thanks for starting the new thread! Can you change my description to waiting for a fall IVF. THanks!
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#8 of 182 Old 08-01-2008, 09:48 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Updated to here

Gumby74, I'd be happy to add you to the list if you'd like - can you give me a summarized description to put there?

And just a reminder to put requests in bold!

Thanks for all the good thoughts, everyone. I'm surprisingly optimistic this month.

crystal-mommy, that's amazing that they found all that! The wonders of modern medicine, huh? Hopefully that's what you need to turn the tide!

biomama, good luck with the hysteroscopy!

lola, I use the opk's from babywishes.com, but I wouldn't exactly call them easy to read. You still have to figure out which line is darker, and that can be tricky sometimes!

Mom to a little boy (June 2009)
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#9 of 182 Old 08-01-2008, 10:38 AM
 
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ttc #2 with just the use of folic acid and baby aspirin. If not successful, we will do the hormone IUI route starting next cycle.

Tricia, married to DH. 2MC's & 4 yrs ttc...finally mom to Andrew6/06 and Benjamin 10/09. Adopted bro & sis 2002. My 2 fav. words: Spay and Neuter! I'm an Ultimate Viewer, 2010!

 

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#10 of 182 Old 08-01-2008, 01:22 PM
 
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Anyone know where to find charts for bbt and cm. I've done clomid and opk (I find them hard to read!!!) for the last 6 months, and going to try something different. U/S today, CD14, probably trigger in the next day or two and then an IUI. (DH low counts from vas reversal and me PCOS)

First IUI, hopefully will be good - DH and I have a dd 5, and a ds 4. Thought we were done....and snipped a little early!!! OOps. DH reversal done in Jan 08.
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#11 of 182 Old 08-01-2008, 02:33 PM
 
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well, AF is on it's way...i noticed some blood while trying to figure out how my diva cup works (i just got it for this cycle)...

i don't think i'll be depressed enough about it to cry this month...i am getting beyond that point...it just takes too much energy that i don't have emotionally...

the good news is that in reading some posts here, i have lots of new things to try next month...pre-seed probably...maybe robitussin (how do you tell if your EWCM is too thick?) more frequent intercourse...instead to hold the spermies up there.... and lots of love...

i am going to suggest that we play our kama sutra game so that it is not so stressful and full of pressure...

and i am going to continue (once AF is coming to a close) to eat well...and i am going to add in a little more exercise....

you know...tomorrow i could be here bawling my eyes out
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#12 of 182 Old 08-01-2008, 03:45 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tandy View Post
you know...tomorrow i could be here bawling my eyes out


And that would be completely understandable

Tricia, married to DH. 2MC's & 4 yrs ttc...finally mom to Andrew6/06 and Benjamin 10/09. Adopted bro & sis 2002. My 2 fav. words: Spay and Neuter! I'm an Ultimate Viewer, 2010!

 

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#13 of 182 Old 08-01-2008, 10:30 PM
 
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I'm recovering tonight from my hysteroscopy. I feel pretty out of it and also quite crampy. The procedure itself was okay, as they gave me some nice meds BUT they are wearing off. They removed the polyp and also found that my endometrium was too thick. So they scraped or vacuumed or something. I'm still not clear on the implications of that. We have a follow up meeting with the RE in 2 weeks. I also found out we aren't allowed to TTC this cycle, since I had the procedure. Oh well...

songbird45, sorry I forgot to bold! Oops!

Tandy, those sound like great ideas! I took mucinex for a few cycles, and I think it helped my CM. I'm sorry AF is coming, I think it's worse to get your period on the weekend because you have more time to get upset about it. Try to keep busy! and make sure to take care of yourself as well. We are here for you, too.

mama-lisa, do you mean charting software? I use FertilityFriend, and I like it. It's pretty easy to use, and they offer a free tutorial on charting when you sign up. I subscribe to the VIP membership, which costs money but it's not really expensive. I think it was $45 for the year. If you click on the chart icon in my sig, it will take you to their site.

Lola, I use Walgreens brand or the ClearBlue Easy Fertility Monitor. The monitor is expensive and probably not worth it if unless you want to have a bit more advanced warning of your fertile time. It measures estrogen as well as LH, so you get "high" readings and "peak" readings. I would ask in the TTC boards too, if you want more opinions. Also, check out peeonastick for an evaluation of different brands. Good luck with everything, and keep us posted on how things are going.
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#14 of 182 Old 08-01-2008, 10:50 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Tandy View Post

the good news is that in reading some posts here, i have lots of new things to try next month...pre-seed probably...maybe robitussin (how do you tell if your EWCM is too thick?) more frequent intercourse...instead to hold the spermies up there.... and lots of love...
ECMW should be slimy and see thru, I take the robitussin 3 times a day, and my dr told me to give it to my hubby too. The mucinex pills work too, but make me nauseated. I take it from about day 8 or 9 till after I am certain that I have O'd.

IF you go to babyhopes.com they were having a special 3 tubes of preseed for $8, much cheaper than the last time I bought them. We only use it during the fertile time since I dont like it very well, it kinda dries out fast and gets sticky.


aam still cant pee very well, went to the hospital and had one of my friends use the bladder scanner to see if my bladder was super distended. It wasn't, but I went ahead and got a straight cath kit and a foley kit just in case. Definitely one of the advantages of being a nurse!! Access to all that so i didn't have to go sit in the ER for hours!!
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#15 of 182 Old 08-01-2008, 10:54 PM
 
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Hey All,

Thanks for the new thread Songbird!

Tricia welcome. I am kind of a lurker, but this is a nice group.

Crystal-mommy and Biomamma I wish you both a speedy recovery and BFP to follow.

Tandy hugs for you.

Well, as for me. My chart is as screwed up as it has ever been.I had a few really high temps before ovulation that I threw out because of sleeping in and alcohol. Then I had some really low temps yesterday and the day before. Both mornings I woke up early and anxious. After being shocked by the temp plummet I went back to sleep, awoke about 30 minutes later (though from dreams) and had much higher, normal temps. I recorded the lower temps but then through them out. Had I not thrown out any temps FF would be removing all crosshairs, which I don't really buy. But at the same time, if my temp dropped so much, why didn't I at least spot?

On another note, I met with the friend who referred me to the RE I am seeing in two weeks and talked to her about it. She said the place is kind of intense in that they move a lot of people through there, and as she said it, "they are trying to maintain their statistics as far as getting women pregnant in a certain amount of time," and in that way there are aggressive. But she said the doctor was really good, and when she had a surgery (not sure what kind) he called her at home twice to see how she was doing, etc., etc. So, I am anxious about it, but I guess kind of ready.

Wishing everyone a good week with good news to come.

(wish me luck at the baby shower I'm going to this weekend!)
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#16 of 182 Old 08-01-2008, 11:01 PM
 
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Biomama: At what point are you at with your grad studies? Are you worried about being pregnant during? I ask because I am starting in a month and a little worried about how that is going to work when I go into labor before classes are over?

Tricia, married to DH. 2MC's & 4 yrs ttc...finally mom to Andrew6/06 and Benjamin 10/09. Adopted bro & sis 2002. My 2 fav. words: Spay and Neuter! I'm an Ultimate Viewer, 2010!

 

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#17 of 182 Old 08-02-2008, 11:14 AM
 
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I guess I should join over here too. I've been hanging out in the IUI area mostly, but I guess I should put my name on the list here as well. We have been trying since July 06'. Just started on the drug/IUI route last month. I'm hoping for a BFP with just the use of clomid after not being able to do my first IUI due to too much thinning of my lining (it was @ 3). So it looks like my first IUI will be the second to last or last week in Aug. : Good luck to all of you.

Feel free to shorten that if you need to when you post it in the list above....

After 5 failed IUI's & 6 failed IVF's we threw in the towel w/ ART and then got a NATURAL miracle BFP! Hoping and praying it is finally our take home baby!  Mother to our twins boys in heaven -lost at 22.5wks on 6/20/09 and 1 other little angel in heaven.

Our Miracle has arrived... Caden James...

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#18 of 182 Old 08-03-2008, 10:55 AM
 
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well, I'm feeling mostly back to normal after Friday's hysteroscopy/D&C/polyp removal. I still have an icky feeling down there, mostly because I know my cervix is open to a few centimeters still. We're not allowed to have sex for 1 week after, and besides that, my lining is all screwed up from the scraping, so no TTC this cycle. I guess it might be nice to have a cycle without a 2ww. But every month that goes by without getting pg seems like that much of my life wasted, passing me by without giving me what I want. I feel pretty frustrated...

Also, the RE said my lining was too thick, like it was building up each cycle but not completely shedding??? Has anyone heard of this before? I might post a new thread asking this question.

Blueyezz, I miss you guys in the IUI club. Maybe I'll keep posting over there for a while... I hope this is your cycle!

Gumby, I am concerned about becoming a mom while I'm still in training, but I am in a very long graduate program, and after it is more training. If I waited until I was done with training, I'd be ~37. DH and I decided we would make it work for us now. I am done with my coursework already, so no classes for me to attend. I am in science, so right now my thesis work is laboratory research based. I would be able to take a little time off (unpaid, of course ) and then start back up again without it being too disruptive. DH is a doctor (also still in training, he's an intern), but next year he will have a research year where his schedule will be better. I think we just know it will be really difficult, and we will need help (daycare, grandmothers?) but it's important to us to create a family. What are you in school for? How long is your program? I found it helpful to hear about other women becoming moms while in school. It can be done! GL to you.
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#19 of 182 Old 08-03-2008, 06:16 PM
 
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well, I'm feeling mostly back to normal after Friday's hysteroscopy/D&C/polyp removal. I still have an icky feeling down there, mostly because I know my cervix is open to a few centimeters still. We're not allowed to have sex for 1 week after, and besides that, my lining is all screwed up from the scraping, so no TTC this cycle. I guess it might be nice to have a cycle without a 2ww. But every month that goes by without getting pg seems like that much of my life wasted, passing me by without giving me what I want. I feel pretty frustrated...

Also, the RE said my lining was too thick, like it was building up each cycle but not completely shedding??? Has anyone heard of this before? I might post a new thread asking this question.

Blueyezz, I miss you guys in the IUI club. Maybe I'll keep posting over there for a while... I hope this is your cycle!

Gumby, I am concerned about becoming a mom while I'm still in training, but I am in a very long graduate program, and after it is more training. If I waited until I was done with training, I'd be ~37. DH and I decided we would make it work for us now. I am done with my coursework already, so no classes for me to attend. I am in science, so right now my thesis work is laboratory research based. I would be able to take a little time off (unpaid, of course ) and then start back up again without it being too disruptive. DH is a doctor (also still in training, he's an intern), but next year he will have a research year where his schedule will be better. I think we just know it will be really difficult, and we will need help (daycare, grandmothers?) but it's important to us to create a family. What are you in school for? How long is your program? I found it helpful to hear about other women becoming moms while in school. It can be done! GL to you.
Biomama - Glad you are recovering from your surgery and it sounds like it was successful too. No wonder that egg wasn't sticking! It kinda sounds like endometrosis - where your lining builds up and gets too thick. Is that what they told you that you have??? So now will you go right to IVF or are you going to try IUI again now that you have been cleaned out??? Feel free to post over in the IUI area (i have no problem with it), once a member always a member. We will miss you over there if you didn't show your "face" now and again!!!! Good luck to you.

ps. when you would have your U/S after taking clomid or whatever you were taking before your IUIs would your lining be pretty thick??? I'm just wondering if it showed up on there before you had your IUI.

After 5 failed IUI's & 6 failed IVF's we threw in the towel w/ ART and then got a NATURAL miracle BFP! Hoping and praying it is finally our take home baby!  Mother to our twins boys in heaven -lost at 22.5wks on 6/20/09 and 1 other little angel in heaven.

Our Miracle has arrived... Caden James...

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#20 of 182 Old 08-03-2008, 07:07 PM
 
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blueyezz4, thanks for your reply. I'm not sure what it means, they didn't explain it (or I didn't remember because of the drugs). They have always been a bit concerned about my lining seeming too thick at my CD3 U/S, and have ordered serum betas to rule out pregnancy each time I've been monitored, because it seemed the lining was too thick. I think that was both with and without clomid.

They didn't say anything about endometriosis... I guess it's possible that's what it is? I have a follow up appointment in 2 weeks. I really hope this was our problem, and now it's fixed.

I'm not sure how this affects our plans for IVF. I will have to wait and see what the RE says...

Where is everyone else this weekend? It's been quiet in the forum lately... Hope everyone is okay.
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#21 of 182 Old 08-04-2008, 12:12 AM
 
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I'm here lurking well past my bedtime. DH and I had another silent argument, which is essentially just not talking with each other. I can't bring myself to go lie down next to him right now. We are just starting this IF journey and already it's taking a toll on our relationship- mostly because I just can't talk about what's eating me up inside.

I have suspected moderate to severe endometriosis. I am scheduled for a laparoscopy on the 13th to be followed by several months of lupron. Then I'll have a 2nd laparoscopy and hopefully that will be it for us. We'll see, time will tell. I just can't believe how incredibly angry I am about all of this. Every time I think I'm coming to terms with it, I get hit with this flood of raw emotion that completely overwhelms me. How do you deal with it all on a day to day basis?
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#22 of 182 Old 08-04-2008, 03:59 AM
 
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Voltige, welcome.

Firstly I am sorry you are going through some raw emotions, sadly it is to be expected on this path

You are NOT to blame for any of the IF. That's one thing I decided right away when I knew something was up, it was not my hubby's problem it is ours.

It's late and I am probably not making sense. I hope you did not go to bed angry. That's one thing I learned a long time ago, always make up before bed, don't ever let the sun go down on your anger, no matter who is at fault (((hugs)))

Will check in more tomorrow, it's late and I should be sleeping
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#23 of 182 Old 08-04-2008, 08:25 AM
 
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Voltiege: One day at a time. The path of IF is not a easy one to follow. It's filled with lots of highs and lows and curves that come out of nowhere. Just when you think you have found a solution.....you hit another wall that must be taken down. The thing is....the wall is moveable, but must be done together. DH and I struggled many times with "our" individual expectations. Secretly, I think there was a part that each of us blamed the other for. The only way it got better was with time. We learned from every failed cycle and directed our anger at the IF and not each other. Writing about everything worked for me, as well as talking about my frustrations. My IF doc made sure to offer counseling with a local therapist while couples where going through their clinic. Is there anything like this available to you?

Tricia, married to DH. 2MC's & 4 yrs ttc...finally mom to Andrew6/06 and Benjamin 10/09. Adopted bro & sis 2002. My 2 fav. words: Spay and Neuter! I'm an Ultimate Viewer, 2010!

 

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#24 of 182 Old 08-04-2008, 08:48 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Held View Post
Voltige, welcome.

Firstly I am sorry you are going through some raw emotions, sadly it is to be expected on this path

You are NOT to blame for any of the IF. That's one thing I decided right away when I knew something was up, it was not my hubby's problem it is ours.

It's late and I am probably not making sense. I hope you did not go to bed angry. That's one thing I learned a long time ago, always make up before bed, don't ever let the sun go down on your anger, no matter who is at fault (((hugs)))

Will check in more tomorrow, it's late and I should be sleeping
Good advice. Unfortunately I did go to bed angry. DH left me an "I love you" written in fridge magnets this morning though, so that made me smile. He doesn't even know why I'm so upset though- that's the worst part. I can sit here and write it out but when I'm with him I just clam up. It's like I just physically can't talk about it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by gumby74 View Post
Voltiege: One day at a time. The path of IF is not a easy one to follow. It's filled with lots of highs and lows and curves that come out of nowhere. Just when you think you have found a solution.....you hit another wall that must be taken down. The thing is....the wall is moveable, but must be done together. DH and I struggled many times with "our" individual expectations. Secretly, I think there was a part that each of us blamed the other for. The only way it got better was with time. We learned from every failed cycle and directed our anger at the IF and not each other. Writing about everything worked for me, as well as talking about my frustrations. My IF doc made sure to offer counseling with a local therapist while couples where going through their clinic. Is there anything like this available to you?
I need to ask about counseling. I've been thinking about this for a while and I think it would be helpful to me, certainly, if not the both of us. Maybe I should start a journal- that might help. Thanks for the suggestion.

Anyway, here are my stats: TTC #2 for 14 months, suspected endometriosis and possible PCOS. Diagnostic/surgical laparoscopy scheduled for 8/13
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#25 of 182 Old 08-04-2008, 10:21 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Updated to here

mama-lisa - Most of us use fertilityfriend.com for bbt charts, although I just write my temp and any notes for the day (bd, cm, etc) on a notepad next to my bed. After O when I feel the need to obsess about my chart all the time I transfer it all to fertilityfriend.

Tandy, how are you doing? I have up and down months too. Sometimes I'm totally depressed about AF, but this time I'm mostly eager to get going on the next cycle. I'm way more optimistic right now than is strictly healthy.

biomama, I'd be interested to know what you find out about the thick endometrium. I've not heard of that at this point.

blueyezz4 - welcome to the thread! as usual, hope your stay is short and sweet!

Voltige - Getting the initial diagnosis was pretty devastating, but going forward... well, I have good days and bad days. The doctor always has a plan for what to do next, and while I sort of grieve the loss of just having sex and getting pregnant (people do this??), I'm always looking ahead to that next treatment. It keeps the hope alive. I blame myself more than I should, but I just keep telling myself.. "It's NOT your fault." Some days I believe it more than others. I know this doesn't really help, but you're not alone!

And me: Well, AF is over, the hsg is done... we're trying to bd every morning, and I'll go in for a follicle scan later this week. Hopefully I'll ovulate soon!

Mom to a little boy (June 2009)
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#26 of 182 Old 08-04-2008, 03:02 PM
 
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Ugghhh. So, to start with. I have no idea what my body is doing to me. About a week ago I started having cramping that was light, but noticeable. On Sat. 10DPO, I spotted a little bit. On Sunday...a little bit and then about 1:30 this a.m. a little more. I continue to feel really crampy (like af) and I am now starting to have a little bit of brown bleeding, like I normally do before AF. The thing is that I normally have a 32 day cycle, so all this cramping and bleeding is driving me nuts. Not to mention, I am convinced more than ever that AF is on the way and my cycle is messed up. I took a PG test on sat, sun and today.....all neg.

Now, to the really frustrating part. DS1 was conceived while using a IF doc. We got to that point after many failed IUI and clomid cycles. The IF doc said that I should never have been on Clomid and that I needed to build my endo. up. So, folistim and other hormones later as well as an IUI....I was pg.

Fast forward to the beg. of this year........shortly before DS1 was born, we moved about 3.5 hours away from our IF doc. I explianed to my current OB that we were thinking about trying for another chil this fall. She suggested that I see another OB who has Infertility experience. I made an appt. last spring and went and explained the whole situation to him about how I conceived DS1 and everything I went through. I told him that I wanted to understand what he was planning on doing in order to help us conceive again. He told me he would review my chart and get back to me. Three weeks later......nothing. I called again and was told he would call me back....nothing. About a week later, I received a letter from him stating that when I am interested in conceiving again, I should call him and we could talk about how stimulation would occur. Nice....glad I spent all that time dealing with him, only to have that frustrating letter sent to me.

Fast forward to today......I called his nurse who called me back after talking to him. Apparently, he just wants to put me on some other medication that supposedly does not thin the lining, during day three of my cycle and at day 11 do an US. Then, I suppose when I ovulate, we would do an IUI. No folistim, no timing ovulation.....nothing else. She said that if I need more than the meds, I have to see another clinic. I'm really frustrated. I don't know what to do anymore. Do I try the meds and see what happens? Do I try to find another clinic and wait forever for an appt? I could scream right now!

Tricia, married to DH. 2MC's & 4 yrs ttc...finally mom to Andrew6/06 and Benjamin 10/09. Adopted bro & sis 2002. My 2 fav. words: Spay and Neuter! I'm an Ultimate Viewer, 2010!

 

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#27 of 182 Old 08-04-2008, 03:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
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If the drug is Femara / Letrazol, that's what I'm on, and it does work for me. It's supposed to be better than Clomid bc it doesn't thin the lining or mess with CM, but it doesn't work for everybody. The day 11 u/s tells them if you're responding to the drug. I didn't respond to 2.5 mg but I do respond to 5mg.

ETA: By "work" I mean it causes me to ovulate, which I don't reliably do on my own. I've never been pregnant.

Mom to a little boy (June 2009)
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#28 of 182 Old 08-04-2008, 03:53 PM
 
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Letrazol is the drug he was talking about. I just spoke with the nurse at the previous clinic I went through. I am going to talk to DH tonight about where to go from here. I think we might try and make an appt. with the docs at the previous clinic and see them again. It might be a PITA, but it will be worth it if we can get pg that way.......ugghhhhh!

Tricia, married to DH. 2MC's & 4 yrs ttc...finally mom to Andrew6/06 and Benjamin 10/09. Adopted bro & sis 2002. My 2 fav. words: Spay and Neuter! I'm an Ultimate Viewer, 2010!

 

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#29 of 182 Old 08-04-2008, 03:55 PM
 
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Originally Posted by gumby74 View Post
Ugghhh. So, to start with. I have no idea what my body is doing to me. About a week ago I started having cramping that was light, but noticeable. On Sat. 10DPO, I spotted a little bit. On Sunday...a little bit and then about 1:30 this a.m. a little more. I continue to feel really crampy (like af) and I am now starting to have a little bit of brown bleeding, like I normally do before AF. The thing is that I normally have a 32 day cycle, so all this cramping and bleeding is driving me nuts. Not to mention, I am convinced more than ever that AF is on the way and my cycle is messed up. I took a PG test on sat, sun and today.....all neg.
This is exactly how my cycles have been for the past several months, except my LP is only about 10 days so this all starts about 5 DPO for me. I have cramping, a little bit of red spotting, some dark brown spotting/bleeding and then FINALLY AF will show up and linger for another 5-7 days. It's incredibly frustrating. I can only assume it's all related to my ovarian cysts/endometriosis. My RE suspects I've not ovulating properly, if at all, although we will not do any cycle tracking, etc. until after my laparoscopy, lupron, 2nd laparoscopy.

I would be very frustrated with your clinic right now as well. One of the only things that keeps me sane is that my RE has a plan, wants a diagnosis, etc. before trying any meds at all. Fortunately my insurance pays for this. I guess that I would be reluctant to take meds without know why/what for/just see if it works. . . because it seems like such a crapshoot to me, ya know? Do you have the possibility to see a different RE/clinic? Can you call to see how long the wait is? I was surprised that I got an initial consultation pretty quickly.
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#30 of 182 Old 08-04-2008, 03:59 PM
 
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I'm new here. Songbird I sent you a PM. My history is kind of detailed. Put what you think others will want to know on the list please. We are hoping to move forward with femara IUI's early next summer after I am done with my LPN clinicals. Until then no work no money
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