W/o reading every post, I just wanted to say #4 tipped me over the edge. #4 kicked my butt physically. My health is just now starting to recover and he turned 2 this month! 2 years of more doctors visits for me than for him... And I'm in my lower 30s, so this isn't an age issue.
My health dipping down, created problems with caring for baby #4. I lost my milk supply. I had severe tearing issues (w a HB) which prevented babywearing. It just all around sucked. The tearing issues will not be resolved w/o surgery, so another baby would also be unworn.
We had talked 4 to 6 for children, he says now it was just 4, I thought he agreed to 4 to 6. We've talked about another, but we discuss the implications another has to my career goals and his desire to have little ones in the home with mom until school age. And I have to think about my health and the tear I still have that is a source of pain and surgery can't happen until I have my weight down.
For us it isn't a money issue or a space issue, etc. It is a lifestyle issue. He does not want any children after age 40 and I decided a while ago I didn't want to have children after age 35 (I have a hard time healing and healing has gotten harder as I've gotten older). We are fast approaching these ages.
I don't look longingly at pregnant women and babies. When I'm bored and have time to watch TV, I pass the having baby shows. I did watch one today b/c it was on homebirth and freebirthing and for a split second I thought aw to do it again.
We haven't made any decisions to make a permanent surgical choice. But the reality is (when I want to admit it), I am still healing 2 yrs after the last birth and I'm really in need of surgery to repair my V. I never thought while pregnant w #4 that I would have torn like this or that my health would go down the tubes so fast.
IF I hadn't torn, IF I hadn't had medical issues with my health, I can say I'd probably have been pregnant already. Then again, maybe not. I might actually working now instead of studying to requalify in my field to work again.