Anyone else plan their kids this way? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 23 Old 02-21-2009, 12:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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2 children within 2-3 years of eachother, then a 3-4 year gap and 2 more children again 2-3 years apart. I figure, have 2, then have a little break, then have another 2. Hopefully they would still all be fairly close in their relationships with eachother, because the age gap wouldn't be that big even with me having a break inbetween....?

How did it work out for you?

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#2 of 23 Old 02-21-2009, 02:33 PM
 
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I'm thinking about this actually. My kids are 3 years apart, DS was born in September 2004 and DD in September 2007. For a little while I thought I was done having kids but now I really feel like I'm not. I just see myself with more than 2 children. I'm pretty positive I don't want more children right away and since I'm only 24 I have a lot of time left for having babies. I'm thinking probably 5 or so years down the road DH and I will have 2 more that are hopefully about as close in age as the 2 we have now.

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#3 of 23 Old 02-21-2009, 03:37 PM
 
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I'm considering that too. My boys are 22 mos apart, and I think when they're a bit older I'd like to have 2 more with the same space between them. Mostly it depends on our financial situation in a few years. I've got plenty of time - I'm 23, which means I technically could have another baby in 20 years - weird thought!!! I'd like to hear from mamas who have LOs spaced this way.

A, wife to R and mom to 3 boys: D~ 10/05, J~ 8/07, and B~ 12/09 and welcoming a new little one in May 2015
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#4 of 23 Old 02-22-2009, 02:49 AM
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My grandparents did this and my MIL also did, though both with longer intervals between the sets of siblings.

My MIL had a son and a daughter about 15 months apart, then 5 or 6 years later two daughters 11 months apart, then dh and his twin 7 years later (unfortunately his twin didn't survive). They all have a fairly normal sibling relationship, though dh did feel left out by not having a near-age sibling. MIL's health just wasn't up to another pregnancy though and I think she made the right choice to stop after dh.

My grandparents had a son and a daughter 2 years apart. 10 years later they had a little "oops" who turned out to be my father. They wanted him to have a sibling close in age, so they had another son 2 years later. My dad and his siblings all have a good relationship, but you can tell that there is a special closeness between the members of the two sets. I see it more in them than in dh's siblings.

We've been considering doing this, too. We have a 14 year old (from a previous relationship), a 4 year old and an 18 month old. I'd like to have another in 3 or 4 years. Dh says if we do that, we should give that child another sibling closer in age so s/he won't feel left out. We'll see what happens.
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#5 of 23 Old 02-22-2009, 04:21 PM
 
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We are thinking this way -- we have 3 close in age -- each is appr. 2 yrs apart. We are thinking of waiting until our last is 4 and then conceiving again -- she is almost 2 now. That would give me a little break because I've been pg/bfing for almost 7 yrs straight!
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#6 of 23 Old 02-22-2009, 09:57 PM
 
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I like this idea

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#7 of 23 Old 02-23-2009, 02:21 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Brown Lioness View Post
I like this idea
Yeah, it's just for me I sometimes think well 2 isn't many to have close together, what if they have such different personalities or they just don't get on for whatever reason, they won't have another sibling that close in age.

So then I think how about having 3 close together -like 2 year gaps between each, but then I think of the saying "3's a crowd" and there will always be 1 that gets "left out".

So then I wonder about having 4 close together, but that would be way too much for my sanity and body to handle, Im sure! So I go back to square one lol

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#8 of 23 Old 02-23-2009, 02:54 PM
 
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I wanted to do things this way, I thought this would be perfect. It's not going to work out that way for us because we're not really in a position for #2 yet. So I'm thinking about going the other way around...have one, wait 4-5 years, then have a close set of two, then wait another 4-5 years and have a baby of the family.

But DH only wants MAYBE 2 total, so we'll see.

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#9 of 23 Old 03-05-2009, 01:19 AM
 
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Yes! Things don't always work out as planned in the realm of family planning , but if I have my way, I'd like to have another "set" of two babies in maybe 5 years. (So far I have two daughters 3 years apart. I am 27.)

I'd like to have a larger family -- 4 has always seemed like the right number to me -- but I'd like to get started on graduate school before I jump into the baby zone again. I'd also like to spread out the baby-having over a longer stretch of time. I'm in no hurry to end this phase of my life.

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#10 of 23 Old 03-05-2009, 04:08 AM
 
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I'm tentitively planning to do this. My girls are 4.5 and 2.5, and hopefully we'll get pregnant sometime this spring/summer/fall, which will make my youngest around 4 when we have our new baby. We'll decide if we can handle 4 later on! I really like the idea of having four kids, but we'll see.

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#11 of 23 Old 03-06-2009, 06:57 PM
 
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My grandmother did something like this and liked it very much: two kids close together, break, two more kids close together, than an oops #5.

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#12 of 23 Old 03-09-2009, 01:40 AM
 
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Well, we didn't exactly plan it this way, but ours are 14, 12, 4, and 2. They are girl, boy, girl, boy. I like it. I am a much better mom with the younger 2. The little ones LOVE having older siblings. The older ones get annoyed with the younger ones lately, but I think that's unavoidable. They are great helpers. I look at moms with 4 or more kids and they are all around 2 years apart and I am so glad I didn't do that. It looks like so much work! I liked having my break in between.

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#13 of 23 Old 03-16-2009, 08:32 PM
 
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I have a 33 mo and a 5 mo, and I like this. I was plenty recovered and was able to nurse DS1 for a good long time.

Now we think we'll wait till ds2 is talking and using the potty before we get pg again. then we'll have 2 more.

My sibs and I were all 2 or less yrs apart.

I think my main motivation is for everone to get a year of good sleep before we attempt this again!

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#14 of 23 Old 03-17-2009, 10:23 AM
 
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Its funny, I have 3, with almost that exact pattern, but none of mine were planned. Best 3 suprises ever! : I do want 1 or 2 more, but I'm waiting at leat 4-5 years, b/c Its just too much for me to have a 8 m/o completely dependenant on me, my 3 yo becoming more independant but still needs me for a lot, my 5 yo, is a big boy, but now w/ kindergarten hes got HW and I think he's kinda jealous of the baby, even though he's capable of doing a lot himself, he's acting like he needs me to wipe him when he goes #2, and brush his teeth, etc...having another in 2-3 yrs just wouldn't work for me.
Plus I'm closer w/ my sister who's 15 yrs older than me, than I am w/ my sis who's 3 yrs younger. I think alot depends on personalities...

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#15 of 23 Old 03-17-2009, 03:01 PM
 
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we are doing this kinda. We are TTC now for our second (our first is 22 months). Then we are waiting for 4-5 years and having "the baby". We will probably stop after that one though. I think that three is our number.

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#16 of 23 Old 03-17-2009, 11:58 PM
 
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We have somewhat loosely thought about this. We were pretty sure we would do this, but now that we are at the point where we either get pregnant and have a 3 year gap, like we do with DD and DS, or wait longer, we are having trouble deciding. I keep seeing both sides. I am sure we aren't done with 2, but I'm not quite ready for another pregnancy. After 6 years of being pregnant and/or nursing, it would be nice to have a break! I've got some weird work stuff coming up that will make early pregnancy awfully difficult, if I was to get PG in the next 4 or 5 months. And DD will already be 6 when we have a next, even if we get PG soon. I'm not sure now that I want a 7 or 8 year gap, that seems big! So... Yes, this was our plan but now, we aren't sure!

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#17 of 23 Old 03-21-2009, 09:02 PM
 
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I'd like to do something like this. DD1 and DS are 14.5 months apart, then we took a 4.5 year break and then had DD2. I'd like another one closer to her (although not as close as the first two were!). I'd actually like more than four, but that's another story...

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#18 of 23 Old 03-21-2009, 11:02 PM
 
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kinda... I do want to have 2 close together each time but I am doing it closer not 2-3 yrs (at least not on purpose) I wanted #1 & #2 to be like a yr apart maybe 2 and then wait 3 or 4 years and then have #3 & #4 within a yr or two. we will see how the plan goes.


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#19 of 23 Old 03-24-2009, 10:23 AM
 
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i have 2 kids 18 months apart its a bit crazy but i think its easier and a ton more fun this way!


the hardest part is when you have the 18 month old and a newborn and then again when they are 3 and 4 oh the fighting is terrible

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#20 of 23 Old 03-24-2009, 10:59 PM
 
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the hardest part is when you have the 18 month old and a newborn and then again when they are 3 and 4 oh the fighting is terrible
You're right about that!

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#21 of 23 Old 03-24-2009, 11:14 PM
 
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Our boys are 22 months apart. Youngest was almost five when #3 came along.

#3 is now fourteen months and we are working on a younger sibling for her. We didn't plan on having a five year gap between #2 and #3 but it's working out quite well. The boys are great helpers and their sister simply adores them :

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#22 of 23 Old 05-09-2009, 11:18 PM
 
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This is what we "plan" to do. I'm 27 and hubby is 37. We want kids to be moving out when he retires. Plan is:

#1 when we're 28/38
#2 when we're 30/40
(3 year gap)
#3 when we're 33/43
#4 when we're 35/45

Married to a wonderful man and we have 1 adorable baby girl (8/30/2010) and 2 furbabies.
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#23 of 23 Old 05-11-2009, 02:09 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Adamsmama View Post
We are thinking this way -- we have 3 close in age -- each is appr. 2 yrs apart. We are thinking of waiting until our last is 4 and then conceiving again -- she is almost 2 now. That would give me a little break because I've been pg/bfing for almost 7 yrs straight!
I feel ya!! My oldest was 11 before he got a sibling, but my three LO's are 6, 4 and 2 right now. I have been bf and changing diapers for six years!! I NEEDED a break!!! And am taking one. I actually have the bc thingy in my arm, good for three years. I thought we were done but somehow could NOT do the irrevesible tubal.... anyway, now that the baby is two...this thing comes out in a year, I also will be done with grad school in a year....the kids will be 7, 5 and 3, they will all be pretty independant and good helpers....my oldest will be off in college (he is very agaist more babies, they get on his nerves...well, hes a teen, whatta ya want?)

Yes, I am thinking that a three to four year gap and I might go on ahead and have one more, but my oldest was an only child for 11 years and pretty lonely, so I dont know, if I have one more, I might have two more.....

I currently only have ONE in diapers! But I have TWO still nursing, I would like to have NO ONE nursing for just a while!! I would like the next baby to be the ONLY one nursing, no tandeming for awhile.....

~Me, mama to soapbox boy (1991), photo girl (1997), gadget girl (2003), jungle boy (2005), fan boy (2003) and twirly girl (2011). Twenty years of tree hugging, breastfeeding, cosleeping, unschooling, craziness
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