Husband considering vasectomy need input - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 27 Old 02-23-2009, 11:21 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I don't really know where to post this but my husband is considering a vasectomy, of which I am in support. I do not want to take birth control anymore and he does not want to use condoms. We have tried charting but that does not work for us. I could really use some input from those of you who have had vasectomy's or significant other has had it done. I want to know about complications with arousal, pain, sexual enjoyment. If he is going to end up having a miserable sex life, I do not want to encourage him to have it done. However, if there a few to no complications it will be a good option for us. He wants me to make him an appt asap. Thanks so much.
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#2 of 27 Old 02-23-2009, 11:31 AM
 
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Hubby had his about 6 months ago. We've had no problems what so ever (just the normal healing period stuff--tenderness and a "weird feeling" for about a week or two).

It is fabulous! No worries about pregnancy, no charting, no condoms or diaphrams so we can be super spontaneous. We love it. We were back to dtd in about two weeks and he was back to totally normal in about a month.
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#3 of 27 Old 02-23-2009, 05:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks emcare for your response. I have read some negative things on the internet from men who have had complications. It concerned me quite a bit and I began wondering how many men had complications and how many continued to have normal and satisying sex. I just want to be sure this is the right thing for us (him). I do not want him to suffer in any way (I know there is recovery, but I mean beyond that) due to this proceedure. The idea is to lessen worries rather than create them. Your post is certainly what I was hoping to hear. Thanks.
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#4 of 27 Old 02-23-2009, 06:01 PM
 
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#5 of 27 Old 02-23-2009, 06:06 PM
 
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DH was worried about complications and long-term issues and he was really frustrated at the lack of solid research on the subject when he was considering getting one. After comparing risk rates for what he could find to other options, like me getting a tubal or an IUD, he decided to go for it. That was six months ago. He had a quick recovery, even after helping a friend carry a sectional sofa up three flights of stairs several days after his vasectomy. NOT recommended, by the way. That made him a bit sore for a day or two, but other than that, it's been smooth sailing. No problems with arousal, enjoyment, etc. He didn't take any pain killers beyond a couple Advil, but he definitely recommends sitting on some frozen veggies and playing Wii for a day or two.
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#6 of 27 Old 02-23-2009, 06:18 PM
 
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It's been about 4 years now, and there has never been a problem. He was back to bike commuting after a week. And the freedom from worry - fabulous!

I would imagine that the guys on the internet talking about complications are the vocal and unlucky few. Not that I'm minimizing their experience, but the vast majority of satisfied (uh, so to speak) men don't have any reason to take to the web.
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#7 of 27 Old 02-23-2009, 06:30 PM
 
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Mine did have a problem with swelling more than what the dr said would happen, but it was just uncomfortable for a few days and then all was well.

mom of 3 , homeschooling the oldest with google and the internet
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#8 of 27 Old 02-23-2009, 07:41 PM
 
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Originally Posted by earthmama369 View Post
He didn't take any pain killers beyond a couple Advil, but he definitely recommends sitting on some frozen veggies and playing Wii for a day or two.

Ah, yes. We did the frozen veggies and xbox treatment. I hear that both can be very successful.
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#9 of 27 Old 02-23-2009, 11:32 PM
 
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DH had a V 7 mos. ago and has had no problems....although he was laying in bed and dd1 decided to take a flying leap and land RIGHT on his crotch!! ...so he did have a little bleeding but I am sure it was from that...he took advil (normal strength) for about 2 days and then all was well!

I love that it is so worry free! With 3 kids it's hard to find time to be alone...so it's nice when we do happen to have a few minutes to ourselves we don't have to worry about me getting preggo!
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#10 of 27 Old 02-24-2009, 01:36 AM
 
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http://quiverfull.com/birth_control/...vasectomy.html

Just wanted to post this.
My DH refuses to ever do this to himself. I am supportive as I don't think much good can come from changing the way the body was designed to work. This article was shocking to me.
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#11 of 27 Old 02-24-2009, 10:13 AM
 
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Wow Katie - shocking to me too, but he is pretty biased. Has anyone checked some of the studies he keeps referring to? Very interesting. My BF is considering a vasectomy - I dont like that idea much as I would love more children so I hope he wont go through with it..

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#12 of 27 Old 02-24-2009, 10:16 AM
 
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Another .02 - it worked well for us. Local tenderness for a few days ("like someone kicked me hard") then back to normal. No complications. Veggies were very helpful.

Mama to A 8/05 and S 11/06
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#13 of 27 Old 02-24-2009, 10:42 AM
 
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"Wow Katie - shocking to me too, but he is pretty biased"

http://dontfixit.org/

This is the author's website. It has a lot more info and references and also archives of their forums so you could read info from men who've btdt.
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#14 of 27 Old 02-24-2009, 10:51 AM
 
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DH is scheduled for one in the beginning of April. From what I have read, the risk of complications is very very small.

We really really really do not want more children, and other birth control options either have worse side effects or don't work for us.
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#15 of 27 Old 02-24-2009, 12:20 PM
 
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Again, as far as the anit-vas stuff, I just don't think that the vast majority of guys who are happy with their outcome are going to take to the internet with, "Dude, I just had a great vasectomy. Let me tell you about it..." So, of course you're going to hear about the worst case senarios.
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#16 of 27 Old 02-24-2009, 12:23 PM
 
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My hubby has had two vasectomies. No, that's not a typo. LOL

He had his first in 1995. He was sure we were done having kids, I wasn't so sure. In 2001, he had a reversal because Mr. Iamdonenomorekids decided that he wasn't so done after all. LOL

We had twins in 2003 and in 2004 (or was it 05- I can't remember) he had another vasectomy. This time we were both 1000% sure we were done.

He's not had any complications. Recovery time for both V's were brief and he was fine within a couple of days.

Not having to worry about getting pregnant is wonderful! :

:
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#17 of 27 Old 02-24-2009, 12:35 PM
 
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No physical problems or side effects here.

But we regret the V. We were overwhelmed with 3 kids in 4 years. Thought we were done. Now with our little one approaching 2, we're feeling differently.

Be really, really sure you are both 1000% sure you are done before taking such a permanent step.

Good luck!
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#18 of 27 Old 02-24-2009, 12:48 PM
 
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Dh had a vasectomy 5 years ago. Normal recovery, and we are very happy that we did it. One thing I did not expect was that our sex life, and as a result of that, our relationship, would get so much better after. I have always been a baby person, love babies, I still do, always will. Dh wanted only one child, we compromised on two, then had a vasectomy. But something happened after the vasectomy, I started seeing sex as just something fun and wonderful and an amazing way to connect with my husband. It was now just about us, where as before (I think for me) it was always about baby making.

If you want to research vasectomy techniques, I believe there is an open end vasectomy, and also a clamped end vasectomy. The open end type some people worry about auto-immune issues. Dh had the clamped vas.

Good luck with your decision.

Michelle , 20+ years with a wonderful DH
Mama to two boys, 12 and 10

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#19 of 27 Old 02-24-2009, 12:53 PM
 
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I would not trust those biased web sites with 30 year old sources.

You can talk to your doctor about the actual potential complications and their rate of occurrence.

We haveb't btdt yet, but my partner will be getting a vasectomy.

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#20 of 27 Old 02-24-2009, 12:59 PM
 
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Originally Posted by emcare View Post
Again, as far as the anit-vas stuff, I just don't think that the vast majority of guys who are happy with their outcome are going to take to the internet with, "Dude, I just had a great vasectomy. Let me tell you about it..." So, of course you're going to hear about the worst case senarios.
I know, everyone on this thread is saying, my DH didn't have a problem. We are definitely considering this for DH. The quiverful & don't fix it links are scary. Wish there was some sort of non-biased forum for it.
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#21 of 27 Old 02-24-2009, 01:42 PM
 
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My husband had the big ''V" done 24 years ago. He had no complications. He is now 52 and is still performing well. He is in good health and is not suffering any of those side effects listed in the scare-mongering article. He having it done was one of the best things ever! Not having to worry about pregnancy and birth control is a very freeing experience!
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#22 of 27 Old 02-24-2009, 07:06 PM
 
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I don't know if it's just here or what, but there have been lots of reported problems within my circle of friends and aquaintances. My dh is one of the only ones who hasn't had a vasectomy, and he hasn't b/c of the afore-mentioned problems!

One friend is still having pain and swelling three years later. One friend had pain and swelling for weeks after. One friend had two infections requiring hospitalization a week and then several more weeks after the surgery. One friend conceived several years after her husband's vasectomy. And no, these were all performed by different doctors.

So it can be sketchy...

??

JENNY, 38~ preschool teacher, birth activist, sun worshiper, singer, married for 17 years and mom to

Karan 15, Fiona 12, Bodhi 10, Bjorn 6, Devon 3, and Robin Taylor born January 16th!

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#23 of 27 Old 02-25-2009, 01:42 AM
 
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Responding to Mataji 4. I am sorry your friends had so many problems with their "V". But a vasectomy is like any other surgery. You have to find a good urologist/surgeon and ask questions, get patient references, the surgeons records, etc. After the surgery make sure your hubby goes in for follow up sperm counts, etc. And the friends you speak of, did they follow the post op instructions to the letter? If your hubby does all of these things, his "V" should be successful and problem free.
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#24 of 27 Old 02-25-2009, 01:55 AM
 
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Well, my husband is one of the few who did experience complications with his vasectomy. He was fine for about 3 years, and then suddenly began experiencing pain. Upon scrotal u/s, they discovered a large cyst. He suffered with worsening pain for several months, and finally ended up with a diagnosis of Post Vasectomy Pain Syndrome.

He was given the choice of three treatments - 1. Reversal, 2. Stripping of nerves in the area, and 3. Removal of the testicles. Needless to say, he opted for the reversal. Apparently, what had happened is that the testicular end of the vas deferens that was burned during the vasectomy started leaking, causing a sperm granuloma.

I do think that more men than reported suffer with pain post vasectomy. It's just that most men are "doctor shy," and certainly won't volunteer, "Yeah, my sac really hurts, doc!" My husband couldn't even stand for more than a few minutes by the time he finally had it reversed and repaired.

Of course, we now have the added blessing of expecting a reversal baby this summer - just icing on the cake for our family!

I think for most men, a vasectomy works out fine. But it doesn't for all men. I wish we'd known about men who suffer from problems like this before he had his vasectomy - I would have gotten an IUD instead!
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#25 of 27 Old 02-25-2009, 05:12 AM
 
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The big V is the birth control of choice for nearly all "done" families I know and I don't know of any complications (we've been chatting about it lately as my DH is getting it done this summer.) So I think the complications are slimmer than some of those websites make it seem.

Though my friend did just get a +HPT and her DH had a V nearly 4 yrs ago!! But they never went back for the final draws to make sure he was clear, but still, YIKES!

I still prefer DH get the V over me getting a tubal or worrying about BC when we are older and past wanting kids but still "old enough" to have children.

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#26 of 27 Old 02-26-2009, 11:42 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Dh has a consultation appointment in March> I really hope he is one who doesn't have any complications. The Urologist he is seeing is supposed to be very good at what he does. I really appreciate all the inputs on this. I didn't expect to get so many responses!! It is a relief to know that the percentages of complications are low. I am looking forward to having a worry free intimate relationship with out taking horomones!
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#27 of 27 Old 02-26-2009, 01:28 PM
 
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Just a hunch but ... as concerned as men are with their "goods" if disastrous outcomes were super common it seems like you'd hear more about it, you know?

Granted, with any surgery, there can be complications - but most cases seem like they go just fine and if you hear otherwise, it could be a fluke, or there could be psychosomatic problems behind the complications.

With women, you will hear of "tubal ligation syndrome" being such a huge problem - you will read scary things about it. In some cases - there are probably sometimes genuinely serious surgical complications.

But in a number of cases, it's just truly amazing how reversing the tubal and having another baby makes the woman feel SO MUCH BETTER. Kind of makes me wonder if she wanted a medically justifiable reason to reverse the tubal, you know?

Any time you read of a negative outcome - consider the source and any ulterior motives. I'm not saying there are *never* medical complications - surely sometimes there are - or that reversals are always motivated at their core by a desire for another baby. But be open to other interpretations.

The quiverful links are *very* questionable IMO...

Good luck to your husband.

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