Wanting But Waiting Tribe *2010* - Page 9 - Mothering Forums
Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#241 of 387 Old 05-01-2010, 09:18 AM
 
Neuromancer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Brooklyn, NY
Posts: 1,019
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by echospiritwarrior View Post
Chelci

I certainly get the O time crazies!

DH told me late last night that he was finally on board to TTC! I think we're both scared about it but ready. Because of where I am in my cycle and how long they are, it looks like we still have to wait a full month before trying but hopefully the time will fly by.

I just like so many of you was full of heartbreak. I quietly mentioned here and there, and then I wrote him a letter. Finally, it looks like we're going in. I really pray that you will all get to experience the joy of the filp.

Good luck mammas!
Echospiritwarrior, that's great news. "Scared of it but ready" sounds like a lovely place to be. That's where I'm aiming. I hope the next month goes quickly for you.

First child born March 2011.  Constantly in awe!
Neuromancer is offline  
#242 of 387 Old 05-01-2010, 05:05 PM
 
echospiritwarrior's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 2,194
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Thanks Neuro, this is our first intentionally planned, so that seems so frightening and at the same time so exciting!

orngbiggrin.gif mom of three with stork-suprise.gif on the way

echospiritwarrior is offline  
#243 of 387 Old 05-02-2010, 08:06 PM
 
pinkgeek's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Maryland
Posts: 123
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Wanted to post a quick update. I had my u/s on Friday morning and got a voice mail from my gyn that afternoon that it was normal, as was all my blood work. So, YAY!!! Hopefully the random missing period was just a fluke. I definitely had EWCM this past week, and some cramping/poking feelings, so maybe that was O and things are back on cycle.

I will probably have my gyn run the bloodwork again on CD3 and I ordered OPK dip sticks (reminds me of checking the oil in the car!) so next cycle I can start trying those too.

Me: T (32), DH: M (33); (Miss you mom! 1/17/00)
Trying to learn/prep as much as I can in hopes of someday becoming a WAHM!
pinkgeek is offline  
#244 of 387 Old 05-06-2010, 01:09 PM
 
Brown Lioness's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: dreaming of cocoa babies...
Posts: 1,542
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
for Oing, pinkgeek!

Quote:
Originally Posted by pinkgeek View Post
Wanted to post a quick update. I had my u/s on Friday morning and got a voice mail from my gyn that afternoon that it was normal, as was all my blood work. So, YAY!!! Hopefully the random missing period was just a fluke. I definitely had EWCM this past week, and some cramping/poking feelings, so maybe that was O and things are back on cycle.

I will probably have my gyn run the bloodwork again on CD3 and I ordered OPK dip sticks (reminds me of checking the oil in the car!) so next cycle I can start trying those too.
So, my inclinations about hubby was right, he's baby fevering just about as hard as I am, lol. So basically, our financials are the ONLY thing keeping us from babydom at this point. With good reason tho, we just moved to Texas so hubby has to quit his job in MD to move down here with me and search for a new one or get his freelance graphic design popping. So until then it will just be my job's income. Im also tryna get my biz off the ground here now that ive moved and ideally, i want to be able to be self-reliant on my biz income, so that I can quit the j.o.b. Oh and also we have to climb out of the mountain of debt that was amassed while hubby was laid off all of 2009.

Anywho, knowing that he's got baby fever makes me feel better. Helps me not feel so alone.

NMY actively making my dreams happen :
Brown Lioness is offline  
#245 of 387 Old 05-06-2010, 08:25 PM
 
Neuromancer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Brooklyn, NY
Posts: 1,019
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brown Lioness View Post
for Oing, pinkgeek!

So, my inclinations about hubby was right, he's baby fevering just about as hard as I am, lol. So basically, our financials are the ONLY thing keeping us from babydom at this point. With good reason tho, we just moved to Texas so hubby has to quit his job in MD to move down here with me and search for a new one or get his freelance graphic design popping. So until then it will just be my job's income. Im also tryna get my biz off the ground here now that ive moved and ideally, i want to be able to be self-reliant on my biz income, so that I can quit the j.o.b. Oh and also we have to climb out of the mountain of debt that was amassed while hubby was laid off all of 2009.

Anywho, knowing that he's got baby fever makes me feel better. Helps me not feel so alone.
That's great that you're on the same page (or similar pages, at least). My husband's a freelance graphic designer, too, so I know how that goes. It was scary when he quit his job to go freelance! Good luck to you both in your career pursuits!

First child born March 2011.  Constantly in awe!
Neuromancer is offline  
#246 of 387 Old 05-07-2010, 08:02 AM
 
samy23's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 1,442
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm starting to rethink ttc again this year. I had it in my mind I would HAVE to wait until next year, but things have changed some what and I may start trying again this year instead.

I'm thinking possibly from September again. Which is when I ttc last year, sept-nov...with no success. Maybe this time I will have more luck? I'm still going to be using my sperm donor guy.

The waiting is so so hard. So I have another 3 months to be 100% sure. I keep going back and forth on this yk? I feel pulled in both directions, to try ASAP, and to wait until next year....arghhh

Mom    wash.gif  bikenew.gifgeek.gifdishes.gif

samy23 is offline  
#247 of 387 Old 05-09-2010, 05:08 PM
 
LovelyBella's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 18
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hello everyone!

I'm glad to be here. Me and my soon to be hubby really wanted to have a baby. We both love kids and crazy as it is, we even have our baby names already. But we feel that we can't afford yet to have a baby, so we are waiting maybe until 2011. We're actually getting married in August and I am so excited for that.

Well in case I get pregnant unexpectedly, we would welcome the baby with all our hearts! =)
LovelyBella is offline  
#248 of 387 Old 05-10-2010, 09:18 AM
 
Brown Lioness's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: dreaming of cocoa babies...
Posts: 1,542
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Welp, it looks like Im the last of my high school crowd to be child-less. My friend from high school (that ive neglected to call back lol) just posted a facebook update last night with her big belly.

Im happy for her, jealous for me, but kinda meh at looking forward to being the "old mom" of the group once i finally get there, lol.

NMY actively making my dreams happen :
Brown Lioness is offline  
#249 of 387 Old 05-10-2010, 03:06 PM
 
M.Q.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Northwest US
Posts: 181
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
we even have our baby names already
We do too!

It's actually come to very practical steps for us now: what credit cards to pay off in what order, what home improvements and in what order and how much will that cost and how will we pay for that, what might next year's tax refund look like,when can we sell stocks without short term holdings penalties and what to do with that money.... We have our new mattress picked out and next we pick out bedroom furniture (I refuse to bring a baby into the chaos that is our blended bedroom) then we pay off our appliances (bought fridge, dishwasher, stove, washer, dryer all in 1 day when we bought a historic home that had none) and buy the furniture and mattress, then we get to BD on our new bed and bring on the future Anna or Kevin

The thing that's stressing him out is that I am NEVER going to voluntarily walk into a hspital for pregnancy related things. I patently refuse to be strapped to a bed, violated by a stranger's hands (and by stranger I mean ANYONE who isn't DH) or a foreign objects, 'pitted' and 'sectioned' as though I were a piece of fruit, and treated generally as though I am not as intelligent as someone with letters after their name. I know that there are hospitals and OBs who are not like I am describing here, but maybe coming across one who is like that just isn't a risk I'm willing to take. This means I MUST give birth before I'm 35. If I reach 'advanced maternal age' it will be difficult (I understand) to find a hands-off midwife to take me on as a client. So now he has a very definite time line, too.

Maybe next year....

-MQ

SAH Princess, happily married to my adorable Nerf Herder

brokenheart.gif 2009 Expecting my rainbow1284.gif in November 2013

M.Q. is offline  
#250 of 387 Old 05-10-2010, 06:35 PM
 
Mummoth's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: BC, Canada
Posts: 3,466
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
hi!

I'm joining in here, if you don't mind! We talk about having a baby... there's a lot we need to do before it can happen... but we hope for an oops! If everything goes how we hope it will, we could start trying in late 2011. If it doesn't happen by mid-2012 (when I turn 35/SO will turn 39) we'll be accepting that it isn't meant to be. It would be SO's first/only biological child, so his sense of urgency is a lot greater than mine. I had decided I was done having kids with DS/DD's biodad. With SO it's actually a partnership, so sharing parenthood with an enthusiastically involved person is a new experience for me. The thought of a baby isn't nearly as daunting.

~Teresa, raising DS (Jan. 02) and DD1 (Jun. 04) and DD2 (Dec. 11) with DH.

Mummoth is online now  
#251 of 387 Old 05-11-2010, 09:35 AM
 
steedalyn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 253
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hi everyone, I was going to join the CTA group since we are charting but really I fit better in this group I think since DH and I would both like to TTC but for financial reasons are waiting until he gets a job. Anyway, I am on day 30 something of my first PP cycle and having very fertile signs for 5 days now. I just wish we could try for a baby!

SAHM to one sweet little
steedalyn is offline  
#252 of 387 Old 05-12-2010, 08:50 PM
 
Betnybaby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 17
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hi.
I'm gonna join in because me and my DH are at this point too. We are talking about ttc in feb 2011 but that still seems like ages away most days. DH is studying to be an early childhood teacher and is almost as clucky as I am, which helps, but we want him to be a bit further through his study before we TTC.
So for now i'm just learning lots and holding my friends babies lots
Betnybaby is offline  
#253 of 387 Old 05-13-2010, 08:26 AM
 
Neuromancer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Brooklyn, NY
Posts: 1,019
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Last night, my husband got a little tipsy at a party and told me he thinks he's ready and that maybe we shouldn't use backup methods when I go off the pill in a month...

Let's see if this sticks.

In the meantime, I'd better get some fillings. I've been putting off dental visits for a year out of sheer laziness.

First child born March 2011.  Constantly in awe!
Neuromancer is offline  
#254 of 387 Old 05-13-2010, 12:39 PM
 
sparklett's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Cascadia
Posts: 1,189
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
*sigh*......

there's another pregnancy in my circle of friends. My DS is 3 and I'm 33 and wanted to be pregnant by now, but our lives just aren't working out that way. It looks like another baby is a good two years away.

We're trying to be so responsible and wait to have a baby when our lives are back to being stable. We're both jobless right now but we're always sooooo tempted to just cash out some investments and live off that and have another baby. Instead, we pretend like our investments don't exist and have instead taken cost-cutting measures like inviting my parents to live with us while I look for a job.

But even thought I KNOW we're doing the right thing, it still hurts, over and over again, when people around us are getting pregnant.

I'm trying to learn how to be happy with the very, very good life I have right now and try to keep reminding myself that I am making the best choices for my family... I'm finishing my second master's in just over a year from now and then starting a PhD program that will be almost 100% paid for by a fellowship. And there's some great job prospects and relocation opportunities ahead. Plus, my DH is on a very solid path himself right now and I'm very proud of him. DS is so very happy, sociable and smart..... but sometimes all of this is overshadowed by the GIANT, GAPING HOLE in our lives that will someday be filled by another baby.

Okay, vent over. I was bummed by the news of this friend's pregnancy, so for the first time in my life I'm pulling out some investments (just a tiny bit, I promise!!) and taking the family on a trip to St. Croix this winter, which is just about when all these babies are due.

"In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer"
sparklett is offline  
#255 of 387 Old 05-13-2010, 12:44 PM
 
sparklett's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Cascadia
Posts: 1,189
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brown Lioness View Post
Welp, it looks like Im the last of my high school crowd to be child-less. My friend from high school (that ive neglected to call back lol) just posted a facebook update last night with her big belly.

Im happy for her, jealous for me, but kinda meh at looking forward to being the "old mom" of the group once i finally get there, lol.
I hate that feeling... I try so hard to be happy for other people and remind myself that I'm just on a different path, but it still hurts. Sorry mama. You'll get there.

"In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer"
sparklett is offline  
#256 of 387 Old 05-14-2010, 01:06 PM
 
Brown Lioness's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: dreaming of cocoa babies...
Posts: 1,542
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Aw, thank you

Quote:
Originally Posted by sparklett View Post
I hate that feeling... I try so hard to be happy for other people and remind myself that I'm just on a different path, but it still hurts. Sorry mama. You'll get there.

NMY actively making my dreams happen :
Brown Lioness is offline  
#257 of 387 Old 05-14-2010, 02:19 PM
 
M.Q.'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Northwest US
Posts: 181
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
And it's bad enough when it's decent, kind, thoughtful, educated, partnered, responsible people that get pregnant and have babies when you have an ache in your whole being you want a baby so bad... but there is scarcely a day I don't see some 15-16 year old girl sporting a baby bump and it makes me sick. I see those MTV shows (16 and pregnant, Teen Mom) and it's like I'm watching a train wreck- I can't look away. It's just unfair that I could have a baby right now (I could have LOT of children by now, in fact) had I chosen to be so irresponsible. But instead I have been responsible and not had a baby when I couldn't have given him or her the home I feel they will deserve and now that I have that home DH still wants to be 'responsible' and wait until we have all of our debt paid off and a giant savings account. Jeepers. I have read more than one place that waiting until you're financially ready for children means that you'll probably never have any: that you should wait until you're emotionally ready to have children and then start trying.

Well, I've been emotionally ready to have children since I got pregnant last summer. Grrrr.
-MQ

SAH Princess, happily married to my adorable Nerf Herder

brokenheart.gif 2009 Expecting my rainbow1284.gif in November 2013

M.Q. is offline  
#258 of 387 Old 05-15-2010, 08:14 AM
 
Baby_Cakes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: NJ
Posts: 9,884
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
s MQ. It's so tough. You'll get there. You're right that there will never be the "perfect time", but there are always better times than others. When it's meant to be, it'll be. For me what helps is thinking that the child I'm meant to have isn't ready to meet me yet, or that I'm not ready to meet him/her. That maybe I have to grow a little or learn something first in order to be his/her mother. Eh, it's corny, but sometimes it helps me with the wait.

I had the most vivid dream last night that I POAS and it was a ridiculously dark and fast BFP. OMG it was a crazy pg test too, it was like plaid and striped, wtf is that? Anyway I was excited but scared b/c I knew DH and I weren't trying, that we'd been careful and it happened anyway. I had no idea how to tell him! LOL. Then I woke up and was like, Hmm, maybe I should test -- forgetting for a moment that AF is here and there's no way. Hah! I will laugh about this one for awhile.

Carrie SAHM to Nora Caitlyn (5) and Finnley Dax (2) homebirthing, breastfeeding, babywearing, intactivist, doula mama!         
Baby_Cakes is offline  
#259 of 387 Old 05-16-2010, 10:56 AM
 
OSTC's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: SK, Canada
Posts: 544
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hey is it okay if I join you guys?

I'm currently doing a 4 week total body cleanse w/ my husband and then my naturopath wants me to do 1-3 months of metal cleansing as I have fairly high levels of cadmium... Which means I could have up to 4 months before I can start ttc, which I know doesn't sound long to a lot of people... but I've wanted to have another baby since ds2 was about 9 months (and he is now 14 months) and everyday I fight with myself to keep w/ the cleansing instead of just giving in and trying to get pg...

heartbeat.gif~Cowgirl Momma to 3 amazing boys  & adding a new babyf.gifin July 2014~heartbeat.gif 
OSTC is offline  
#260 of 387 Old 05-16-2010, 11:04 AM
 
Neuromancer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Brooklyn, NY
Posts: 1,019
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
OSTC, welcome. That's very disciplined of you! I don't even want to wait to get fillings and see my doctor once before TTC, so I can't imagine doing a total body cleanse and multi-month metal cleanse! Here's to time flying.

First child born March 2011.  Constantly in awe!
Neuromancer is offline  
#261 of 387 Old 05-16-2010, 11:58 AM
 
OSTC's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: SK, Canada
Posts: 544
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Neuromancer View Post
OSTC, welcome. That's very disciplined of you! I don't even want to wait to get fillings and see my doctor once before TTC, so I can't imagine doing a total body cleanse and multi-month metal cleanse! Here's to time flying.
Thanks Neuromancer

I wish I was more disciplined as I would be done 2 months of cleansing already if I hadn't not been careful and had to wait to make sure I wasn't already pg again twice... If I had the money, I'd also get my fillings taken out as I've read that it's next to impossible to get rid of Candida (which I had a lot of trouble with) without getting rid of the mercury in your body... But there is no way that I have the discipline to wait till next year when I'll have more health coverage... I also forgot to add that I'm working w/ a physiotherapist to heal up my separated abs from my last pregnancy before I get pg again... So I guess I'm waiting on her go ahead as well...

Is getting your fillings done and visiting your Dr. the only things you need to wait on?

heartbeat.gif~Cowgirl Momma to 3 amazing boys  & adding a new babyf.gifin July 2014~heartbeat.gif 
OSTC is offline  
#262 of 387 Old 05-16-2010, 02:42 PM
 
Neuromancer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Brooklyn, NY
Posts: 1,019
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by OSTC View Post
Thanks Neuromancer

Is getting your fillings done and visiting your Dr. the only things you need to wait on?
Well, technically I'd LIKE to be 10 pounds lighter (though I'm not overweight, I'm at the higher end of normal) and I'm working on building a better exercise regime, but mostly I've been waiting for my husband to be ready (and myself, but I was ready a little faster than him).

Now, it seems he's finally there! Even though he asked in February for "six months" to think it over, we talked last week and he said he's ready for me to go off the pill and we can see what happens. That works for me, as I'm still nervous about having a (first) child, and not feeling the need to aggressively TTC. In fact, now that he's said he's pretty much ready, I'm having second thoughts! I do want to get the dental work done, though (non-mercury fillings this time, but I'm not replacing the old mercury fillings). I'll probably even still make it in for my annual checkups (PCP and OBGYN) before we actually conceive (IF I can even get pregnant, which is a wild card). I'm happy to take this slow, now that we're both on board to the extent that we are.

First child born March 2011.  Constantly in awe!
Neuromancer is offline  
#263 of 387 Old 05-17-2010, 09:40 AM
 
Brown Lioness's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: dreaming of cocoa babies...
Posts: 1,542
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
This is where im at as well, I need to get this as well!

I need to get these amalgam fillings removed and then I need to detox and it all seems like such a long shot because its SO expensive and takes such a LONG time. I tend to get pretty discouraged thinking of it all, but I know that I want to be at my healthiest before I try for a little one. But still...Blah, lol.


Quote:
Originally Posted by OSTC View Post
Hey is it okay if I join you guys?

I'm currently doing a 4 week total body cleanse w/ my husband and then my naturopath wants me to do 1-3 months of metal cleansing as I have fairly high levels of cadmium... Which means I could have up to 4 months before I can start ttc, which I know doesn't sound long to a lot of people... but I've wanted to have another baby since ds2 was about 9 months (and he is now 14 months) and everyday I fight with myself to keep w/ the cleansing instead of just giving in and trying to get pg...

NMY actively making my dreams happen :
Brown Lioness is offline  
#264 of 387 Old 05-17-2010, 10:07 AM
 
Baby_Cakes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: NJ
Posts: 9,884
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Neuromancer View Post
That works for me, as I'm still nervous about having a (first) child, and not feeling the need to aggressively TTC. In fact, now that he's said he's pretty much ready, I'm having second thoughts!
Isn't it funny how that happens? It's like we're full steam ahead until they're like, "Ok," and then it's like, "Wait! I'm not ready!" LOL I've so been there! <3

Last night DH and I were chatting and I asked him if he wanted to make a baby next weekend (would be perfect timing cycle wise and b/c it's our anniversary) and he actually HESITATED! He said, "Ehhh, I don't *think* so..." but that hesitation means the world to me. It means it's not 100 years away. Maybe sooner than later. Which helps me not feel so bad about the whole situation!

Carrie SAHM to Nora Caitlyn (5) and Finnley Dax (2) homebirthing, breastfeeding, babywearing, intactivist, doula mama!         
Baby_Cakes is offline  
#265 of 387 Old 05-17-2010, 01:47 PM
 
sarahdavida's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Lima, Peru
Posts: 167
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
This subject came up for us again last night. After coming to the conclusion (both of us) that there are so many reasons why it is a bad idea for us to TTC right now, the whole thing about "would it be nice for DS to have a companion in the home" idea came up. And I said, kind of tongue-in-cheek "well, we can try tonight if you want...the timing is good, I think" and he said "are you serious?" and I said "are YOU serious? because if YOU are, then I am 100% there" and then this mischeivious smile went across his face. Then I reminded him that we were BOTH vulnerable to getting caught up in an emotional moment and all the potentially wonderful things about bringing another child into the family...and then I proceeded to remind him of all the reasons we had already decided it is really not a good idea right now...which include the need I feel to get way beyond the BFing of DS and into a better sleep and physical routine - also, if I got pregnant, I could not participate in some works projects that are coming up for me that I desperately want to be involved in, so that´s really it...and we came to the same conclusion...we need to give it a couple more years...but boy, those monets of "Let´s just do it!" are tough to ride through

madre de Mathias http://www.primaryimmune.org http://www.michaeljfox.org
sarahdavida is offline  
#266 of 387 Old 05-18-2010, 08:44 AM
 
Neuromancer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Brooklyn, NY
Posts: 1,019
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes View Post
Isn't it funny how that happens? It's like we're full steam ahead until they're like, "Ok," and then it's like, "Wait! I'm not ready!" LOL I've so been there! <3

Last night DH and I were chatting and I asked him if he wanted to make a baby next weekend (would be perfect timing cycle wise and b/c it's our anniversary) and he actually HESITATED! He said, "Ehhh, I don't *think* so..." but that hesitation means the world to me. It means it's not 100 years away. Maybe sooner than later. Which helps me not feel so bad about the whole situation!
I understand that hesitation can mean a lot!

In a weird way, I appreciate that last night I found myself arguing about the baby's last name with my husband (I kept my name when we got married). I mean, I don't WANT to argue about it, and we're at a stalemate so far, and I don't want to give in, BUT I still appreciate that he brought it up, that he cares about it, and that he's thinking actively about us having a baby in the next year or two.

So, it sucks to disagree, but it's awesome to be engaged.

First child born March 2011.  Constantly in awe!
Neuromancer is offline  
#267 of 387 Old 05-18-2010, 08:46 AM
 
Neuromancer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Brooklyn, NY
Posts: 1,019
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahdavida View Post
This subject came up for us again last night. After coming to the conclusion (both of us) that there are so many reasons why it is a bad idea for us to TTC right now, the whole thing about "would it be nice for DS to have a companion in the home" idea came up. And I said, kind of tongue-in-cheek "well, we can try tonight if you want...the timing is good, I think" and he said "are you serious?" and I said "are YOU serious? because if YOU are, then I am 100% there" and then this mischeivious smile went across his face. Then I reminded him that we were BOTH vulnerable to getting caught up in an emotional moment and all the potentially wonderful things about bringing another child into the family...and then I proceeded to remind him of all the reasons we had already decided it is really not a good idea right now...which include the need I feel to get way beyond the BFing of DS and into a better sleep and physical routine - also, if I got pregnant, I could not participate in some works projects that are coming up for me that I desperately want to be involved in, so that´s really it...and we came to the same conclusion...we need to give it a couple more years...but boy, those monets of "Let´s just do it!" are tough to ride through
Thanks for sharing! This is a fun story. It both illustrates how mature and thoughtful you are, as well as strengths of your partnership. It's great to feel, "not yet," instead of "never," isn't it?

First child born March 2011.  Constantly in awe!
Neuromancer is offline  
#268 of 387 Old 05-18-2010, 10:31 AM
 
Baby_Cakes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: NJ
Posts: 9,884
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
DH said he'd be fine/ok with an oops!

What does this mean??!! Is it false hope? Does it mean we CTA but not really use protection? Does it mean no trying, but not avoiding? I'm stumped. I don't think men know how to communicate well at all.

Carrie SAHM to Nora Caitlyn (5) and Finnley Dax (2) homebirthing, breastfeeding, babywearing, intactivist, doula mama!         
Baby_Cakes is offline  
#269 of 387 Old 05-18-2010, 10:33 AM
 
Baby_Cakes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: NJ
Posts: 9,884
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahdavida View Post
And I said, kind of tongue-in-cheek "well, we can try tonight if you want...the timing is good, I think" and he said "are you serious?" and I said "are YOU serious? because if YOU are, then I am 100% there" and then this mischeivious smile went across his face.
This is so cute. And so true! I'm actually really happy for you b/c this is progress in its own right. It definitely shows both of your levels of maturity and responsibility -- but more importantly that you are both on the same page.

Carrie SAHM to Nora Caitlyn (5) and Finnley Dax (2) homebirthing, breastfeeding, babywearing, intactivist, doula mama!         
Baby_Cakes is offline  
#270 of 387 Old 05-18-2010, 11:16 AM
 
sarahdavida's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Lima, Peru
Posts: 167
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Neuromancer View Post
It's great to feel, "not yet," instead of "never," isn't it?
Definitely...I think "never" would create a whole other anxiety about the issue for me...like forbidden fruit - it would just make me want it more and lament it more if it couldn´t happen, no matter how good the reasons might be.

I am very lucky to have DH...and we are lucky to almost always be on the same page about big issues (small ones, too :-)...we have our difficulties, like everyone, but it´s nice to be with someone I feel I can always be honest with - and vice versa (I think)...

madre de Mathias http://www.primaryimmune.org http://www.michaeljfox.org
sarahdavida is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off