Charting to Avoid/Fertility Awareness, April 2010 - Mothering Forums

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Old 04-01-2010, 12:15 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Welcome to the
April 2010
charting to avoid and fertility awareness thread. We are all at different stages in family planning and our own fertility. Some of us are very ardently Charting to Avoid (CTA); most are CTA but would be thrilled with a BFP; and we even have a few who are not CTA but are also not TTC, and continue to hang out here.

If you would like to be added or removed (or have anything changed) from the roll call list, please let me know by PMing me. PM me if you'd like to start next month's thread.

If you did not post in March, you may have been deleted from the list. If you were mistakenly deleted, or you would like to be added/removed, please PM me and let me know. I cannot promise to make changes requested in the thread, but I will try to get to everything.

You must post in April if you want to be on the May list!


*Charting/Using FAM/NFP to AVOID*

who we are:


AnnieA - since 12/07
Annie2186
Baby_Cakes
BarefootScientist - since 08/08 and 12 cycles in '05-'06
bbrandonsmom
BettinaAuSucre
Blueone
dealic
dex_millie
dislocator3972
Echospiritwarrior
Eirual
First Time Mama - since 12/08
Fresh veggie
HulaJenn
InMediaRes
JenineJessica - since 12/07
Kimmiepie - CTA since 11/09, plus 4 years before (with TTC, too)
Kcroto42 – CTA since 10/09
larablue
lmevans
Lyterae - CTA since 11/09, plus 5 months before
MamaGwynn - CTA since 11/09
MarineWife – CTA for 10 months, now CFS&G
Meksmama - CTA since 1/10
MovingMomma - CTA since 02/09 plus some time before
MsVyky
nerdymom
Newbiemama09 - Using FAM for 2+ years
OSUvet
RaraAvis - CTA since 8/09 plus 13 months before
Readytobedone
Sk8rmaiden - CTA since 1/10 plus 12 months before
Smokering
Toolip
turniquia
whitekole
Wholewheatchick - CTA since 05/09


Pregnancies per Month (due to user error or condom failure unless otherwise noted)
February 2009 - at least 1
March - 2
April – 2
May – 2
June – 0
July - 0
August - 0
September - 1
October - 0
November - 0
December – 0
January 2010 - 0
February - 0
March - 0

Happy charting!


Summary of FAM rules (sympto-thermal)

Pre-ovulation rules:

1) First 5 Days Rule: You are safe the first 5 days of your menstrual cycle if you had an obvious temp shift 12-16 days before.

2) Dry day rule: You are safe to DTD after 6PM if you have been dry all day.


Post ovulation rules:

1) Peak day rule: the last day of fertile mucous is called the peak day (the day before your mucous begins to dry up). You are safe to DTD on the fourth consecutive day after the peak day. If another patch of more fertile mucous appears, start your count over.

2) Temperature shift rule: You are safe the evening of the third consecutive day your temp is above your coverline. If your temp falls at or below the coverline during the 3 day count, begin your count again.

BOTH rules must be satisfied to be considered in your infertile phase.


How to set a coverline:

When you see a temperature shift of at least 0.2 degrees F above the highest of the previous 6 temps, draw a line 0.1 degrees F above that highest temp.


Resources

Books:
Taking Charge of Your Fertility, by Toni Weschler
Garden of Fertility and
The Art of Natural Family Planning by John and Sheila Kippley
Breastfeeding and Natural Child Spacing: How Ecological Breastfeeding Spaces Babies by Sheila Kippley
Fertility, Cycles and Nutrition by Marilyn Shannon

Websites:
Ovusoft charting software, and brief fertility library
Fertility Friend charting software, and ttc charting guide
myfertilitycharts.com free software for ttc or tta
Author Katie Singer's Garden of Fertility website
Mothering Magazine article by Katie Singer
Billings Ovulation Method info
Billings Ovulation Method Association, USA
Billings Centre, CA
Couple to Couple League (find an NFP instructor)
Creighton Model


Abbreviations:
AF: Aunt Flo, your period
AFM: as for me
BD: baby dancing; bed dancing (i.e. sex)
BFP: positive pregnancy test (big fat positive)
BFN: negative pregnancy test (big fat negative)
BIP: basic infertile pattern
CD: Cycle day
CM: cervical mucous (same as CF)
CF: cervical fluid (same as CM)
DPO: Days past ovulation
DTD: Do the deed
GIO: get it on
EWCM: eggwhite cervical mucous/fluid
LP: Luteal phase - the time from ovulation until your period, average 10-16 days
LTL: low temp level (basically 1/10th below FAM's CL or on the highest of the 6 previous temps)
HTL: high temp level (4/10ths above LTL, temp rise needed to indicate O)

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Old 04-01-2010, 01:16 AM
 
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subbing so I don't miss anything

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Old 04-01-2010, 01:24 AM
 
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Subbing too. Wow, I can't believe it's April!

Well...almost April.

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Old 04-01-2010, 04:43 AM
 
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Subbing...it is April!!!
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Old 04-01-2010, 07:56 AM
 
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Wow. April. Ohmai.

I just noticed that with my name in the list, it says we've been CTA since 10/10...surely that should be 10/09? Especially since I'm hoping that in 10/10 I'll be knocked up...hehe.

Nothing exciting here. Check it out. I think the change in temps is messing with me, or something. Apparently, I was comfortable with my charting skills, so my body decided to try out something new. Sigh.

Kristine, Mom to Lucy (12/26/07), and Marion (3/16/11)

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Old 04-01-2010, 09:02 AM
 
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so...I'm back! No really, I am. CTA for real. I wrote a bunch in my journal and really came to the realization that for the first time in 3 years, I feel settled. We are going to live here for 4 years, we just bought our first house, DH is done with flight school training, I am making friends, starting grad school in Aug., and am working full time this summer. And I don't really want my world turned upside down by a baby.

And DH and I are REALLY enjoying it just being the two of us plus the cat right now. For now, we feel complete. And it has taken me a long time to come to that decision, but I am happy with it. So is DH who finally, reluctantly, admitted that he does not want a baby right now (different from his "whatever" stance). Plus, we're only 23 (well, I'll be 23 in a week). Of course, if we do get PG, that's fine, and we'll deal with it and it will be a good thing.

And since I'm fairly certain I alredy O'd this cycle: http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/277407 this may all be a moot point in 2 weeks, but I hope not!

So anyway, yay! Glad to be back with you ladies and meet the gals who have joined since Feb.

Emily--Married to the love of my life 2008--Joyful mommy to Rachel Elizabeth 12/10
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Old 04-01-2010, 09:20 AM
 
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April 1st=CD1 for me. Right on time. Textbook cycle (well...a textbook written by me) O on CD19, 13 day LP. No cramps either (knock on wood). I'm usually doubled over and ready to vomit at this point. I'll have to make note of a few dietary changes I've made in hopes of repeating for next cycle (no coffee, more fibre, ginger thyroid tea, taking my thyroid suppliment).

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Old 04-01-2010, 11:07 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kcroto42 View Post
Wow. April. Ohmai.

I just noticed that with my name in the list, it says we've been CTA since 10/10...surely that should be 10/09? Especially since I'm hoping that in 10/10 I'll be knocked up...hehe.
LOL, true enough. I fixed it, sorry, human error. I hope that I'm either pregnant or TTC by October as well... Guess we'll see

Quote:
Originally Posted by wholewheatchick View Post
so...I'm back! No really, I am. CTA for real. I wrote a bunch in my journal and really came to the realization that for the first time in 3 years, I feel settled. We are going to live here for 4 years, we just bought our first house, DH is done with flight school training, I am making friends, starting grad school in Aug., and am working full time this summer. And I don't really want my world turned upside down by a baby.

I'm trying really hard to stay in that mindset as well, there is nothing wrong with us being a family of 3 and now is not the time yet.. Theoretically I have plenty of time ahead of us (I'm 24). In the meantime I really need to finish losing the previous "baby" weight and getting the fatigue issues figured out/under control.

It's hard to believe it's April already... time is just flying by. I still haven't started temping this cycle, I've slept through the alarm everyday this week and by the time I do get it up it's a "hurry up, we're late". Jump out of bed throw clothes on and get out the door.

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Old 04-01-2010, 11:24 AM
 
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WOW, a 6 month no pregnancy spree!

ETA: sorry, I really shouldn't be surprised. We've only been using it successfully for what....3yrs?!

Laurie, wife to guitar.gifDH (Aug/04), mom tobikenew.gifDS1 (Nov/05) and bfinfant.gifDS2 (June/12).

 

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Old 04-01-2010, 01:23 PM - Thread Starter
 
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WOW, a 6 month no pregnancy spree!

ETA: sorry, I really shouldn't be surprised. We've only been using it successfully for what....3yrs?!
This is consecutive cycle #5 for me, the last time we used FAM (2005) it was cycle #5 that we got pregnant (not on purpose). It took me almost 4 years to convince DH to give it another chance.

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Old 04-01-2010, 01:35 PM
 
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kc ~ Your temps look normal to me. Your CL is exactly the same this cycle (so far) as it was last cycle.

This group has gone 6 months without a pg (not including my chem pg in December)!? That's amazing to me since it seemed we had 2-3 pgs every month when I first joined.

My temps are wacky so far. Up, down, up down. Maybe I should quit temping until I get some fertile CF.

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Old 04-01-2010, 02:27 PM
 
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This group has gone 6 months without a pg (not including my chem pg in December)!? That's amazing to me since it seemed we had 2-3 pgs every month when I first joined.
It is amazing! It's been a year and a half (17th cycle) for me this time. A year and a half last time (got pregnant on the 12th cycle - not on purpose either).

Way to go everyone!

Oh, and everyone who is not actually avoiding...don't worry, we won't count you if you get pregnant.

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Old 04-01-2010, 03:37 PM
 
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kc ~ Your temps look normal to me. Your CL is exactly the same this cycle (so far) as it was last cycle.
Oh, yeah, that I see; I'm just weirded out, I guess, because I've been having on-the-money 26 day cycles since I started charting. I used to have longer cycles, in the 30 days and more range, but not lately.

I guess what I'm actually trying to say is that I'm bored by my body.

Kristine, Mom to Lucy (12/26/07), and Marion (3/16/11)

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Old 04-01-2010, 07:45 PM
 
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Hey girls.

I really like using FertilityFriend, I must say. I like to geekily gloat over the neatness and textbookery of my chart. Last month I only temped; this month I'm temping and checking CM; and next month I plan to throw my cervix into the mix... as it were. (To do which, I'll have to figure out where the heck it is. I'm not very cervix-savvy.) I'll also have to switch my temping time to an hour later, because DH has quit his job to work from home and objects to being woken up early unnecessarily.

ETA: Also, and I don't mean to sound paranoid, but... For all those who did get pregnant accidentally while charting, what caused it? Was it a simple case of ignoring the signs and DTD anyway, or did your chart fool you? SIL got pregnant on the Billings method, and I offered to lend her TCOYF so she could learn to temp too, but she'd read that temping was more confusing than otherwise and wasn't interested. I... disagree strongly, myself, but it's her call!

If decomposition persists please see your necromancer.

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Old 04-01-2010, 07:47 PM
 
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Hello everyone! I think I missed the whole month of March. Lots going on around here...

Hope everyone is doing well. I'm 6dpo and just cruising along as normal. Nothing out of the ordinary. http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2be681

Quote:
Originally Posted by wholewheatchick View Post
so...I'm back! No really, I am. CTA for real. I wrote a bunch in my journal and really came to the realization that for the first time in 3 years, I feel settled. We are going to live here for 4 years, we just bought our first house, DH is done with flight school training, I am making friends, starting grad school in Aug., and am working full time this summer. And I don't really want my world turned upside down by a baby.

And DH and I are REALLY enjoying it just being the two of us plus the cat right now. For now, we feel complete. And it has taken me a long time to come to that decision, but I am happy with it. So is DH who finally, reluctantly, admitted that he does not want a baby right now (different from his "whatever" stance). Plus, we're only 23 (well, I'll be 23 in a week). Of course, if we do get PG, that's fine, and we'll deal with it and it will be a good thing.

And since I'm fairly certain I alredy O'd this cycle: http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/277407 this may all be a moot point in 2 weeks, but I hope not!
So anyway, yay! Glad to be back with you ladies and meet the gals who have joined since Feb.
That's great that you guys were able to come to a decision that you feel at peace with for now. Glad you could join again!

Do you mean that you weren't using protection during the days you have marked on your chart?

Quote:
Originally Posted by eirual View Post
April 1st=CD1 for me. Right on time. Textbook cycle (well...a textbook written by me) O on CD19, 13 day LP. No cramps either (knock on wood). I'm usually doubled over and ready to vomit at this point. I'll have to make note of a few dietary changes I've made in hopes of repeating for next cycle (no coffee, more fibre, ginger thyroid tea, taking my thyroid suppliment).
Great news!! It will be interesting to see if any of those things make all of your cycles better.

Kim, Wife to Michael, Homeschooling Mom to Hannah (13), Aidan (12), Brighton (8), and Oliver (5) and Ephraim (2) goorganic.jpgsaynovax.giffly-by-nursing1.giffemalesling.GIF 
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Old 04-01-2010, 10:21 PM
 
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Kimmiepie: yeah, no back up/protection at all for the past 9 months, really. Really hoping our luck holds out! But last cycle I am 90% certain was a chemical pregnancy; and I was feeling symptoms by 4 DPO and I don't have any of those this time.

ETA: We will be using backup from now on, now that we are definitely CTA! Ugh. Back to that diaphragm!

Emily--Married to the love of my life 2008--Joyful mommy to Rachel Elizabeth 12/10
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Old 04-01-2010, 11:02 PM
 
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WWC: You know that kind of talk pretty much guarantees you'll end up w/a BFP, right?

Smokering: at the "throwing the cervix into it" imagery.

Cass: Thanks for the chart links in the thread opener!

AFM: I had rather low temps yesterday and today (today's was 30 mins early) & I'm doing a crappy job at checking CM, which is just weird for me. I pretty much always know exactly what's up w/that w/out any effort.

-Shannon, momma to H reading.gif 8/03, N heartbeat.gif 9/06, & P homebirth.jpg 8/11, missing S brokenheart.gif born at 11 wks 1/09 

 


 
   

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Old 04-01-2010, 11:19 PM
 
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Nice to see everyone is mostly going along smoothly so far this cycle.

Smokering: The "neatness" of FF is the same thing I like Good luck finding your cervix... I found that my experience palpating the cervix of cows and delivering calves was very helpful

Cass: Thanks for the new thread! If you want, you can add my chart to the front page

AFM: My temp is up today and I had all the signs (as far as my newbie self can tell!) so I *think* I O'ed yesterday. A couple more high temps will tell!

Kendra (30),  mum to ds fly-by-nursing1.gif(2/14/11), and one angel1.gif. Pregnant with my rainbow1284.gif due 6/10/13, it's a GIRL!!!
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Old 04-01-2010, 11:54 PM
 
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Kimmiepie: yeah, no back up/protection at all for the past 9 months, really. Really hoping our luck holds out! But last cycle I am 90% certain was a chemical pregnancy; and I was feeling symptoms by 4 DPO and I don't have any of those this time.

ETA: We will be using backup from now on, now that we are definitely CTA! Ugh. Back to that diaphragm!
Oh girlie, watch this be your month. Isn't that how it always works?

ETA: We had said we were going to TTC in 2011 (I announced it here even). Well, we have decided we really don't want any more children. It's a bit sad, and I guess years down the road we could change our minds but that is our decision for now. So we are definitely CTA for REAL indefinitely.

Kim, Wife to Michael, Homeschooling Mom to Hannah (13), Aidan (12), Brighton (8), and Oliver (5) and Ephraim (2) goorganic.jpgsaynovax.giffly-by-nursing1.giffemalesling.GIF 
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Old 04-02-2010, 12:05 AM
 
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Kendra ~ Definitely looks possible.

I'm starting to get closer and closer to not wanting any more babies. This last almost year of being essentially a single parent with 3 kids has been hard. My youngest is so precocious that it scares me. I'm exhausted! I can't imagine having to take care of yet another LO by myself most of the time. Of course, there's still that yearning in me to be pg one more time and maybe have a girl. 6yo ds doesn't help. He still says he wants a baby sister. Yesterday he said he didn't want me to go for a walk because then my belly would shrink. If my belly shrinks, I won't have a baby sister. That all came about because he overheard me say that I looked like I was 4 months pg.

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Old 04-02-2010, 01:02 AM
 
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Smokering: I also like the look of FF. Whether or not I agree with their interpretations... I find it the easiest chart to read.

Also, I am 100% sure that if we ever end up with an 'oops' baby, it will be because of complete 'user error' and deciding not to use backup when we know we should... not because of dtd on a 'safe' day and ending up pregnant anyways. I have a feeling, from what I've seen anyways, that that seems to be the case with most charting babies. I suppose it's difficult because our bodies are designed to get emotional and wanting around that part of the cycle. So where we know intellectually that we're not safe and should abstain/use backup, your hormones yell at you "Do it anyways!!!"

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Old 04-02-2010, 01:09 AM
 
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For all those who did get pregnant accidentally while charting, what caused it? Was it a simple case of ignoring the signs and DTD anyway, or did your chart fool you?
Both times I got pg were obvious user error. First, I wasn't really CTA. I chart so I can know when to expect because my cycles are irregular. DH said he wanted to avoid. We chose withdrawal as our form of bc. Both times he didn't even attempt to withdraw so I got pg. Every cycle he has withdrawn when needed I did not get pg.

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Old 04-02-2010, 09:39 AM
 
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ETA: Also, and I don't mean to sound paranoid, but... For all those who did get pregnant accidentally while charting, what caused it? Was it a simple case of ignoring the signs and DTD anyway, or did your chart fool you?
I like to use the excuse that it was a weird cycle, but really, what caused it is that I didn't follow the rules. You NEED to follow the rules. I had one day of watery followed by a couple dry days with no temp shift, and since I had had several cycles before that where I had not ovulated until much later (my body was still adjusting from the Pill) I thought I wasn't going to O, especially after only one day of watery. So we DTD unprotected well before the four days of dry-up were over. And then I got the temp shift and I was like....oops.

So, total user error. And for what is' worth, since I've been posting on this thread, I have not seen a FAM method error. I don't think. Does anyone recall one? There have been a couple condom method failures (as in, they did everything right according to FAM but used condoms during the fertile phase, didn't notice any condom issues or breakage but wound up pregnant). But other than that, all pregnancies that I have seen have been from people not following the rules/cheating.

I have seen a couple cases (had one myself last month) where the chart could have "fooled you" as you mentioned - if you wanted to cheat a little. But in those cases you just have to still follow the rules and be conservative. If you don't have the full thermal shift, you can't DTD unprotected...etc. Most of us do cheat a little now and then but we are taking a risk...it just depends on how much you would welcome an oops.

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Old 04-02-2010, 10:06 AM
 
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Hm...we really are going to have start following the rules closely! We've been totally winging it and not really caring/doing anything to prevent, so I probably need to re read that section of TCOYF and brush up on that. Thank goodness for a significant thermal shift this time that I caught, because my CF has been all wacky. http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/277407 I mean, that is a real thermal shift, right? For the past 11 months, anything above 97.5 has ALWAYS been post-O temps.

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Old 04-02-2010, 10:17 AM
 
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Originally Posted by wholewheatchick View Post
I mean, that is a real thermal shift, right?
Probably, but I'd put O one day later & technically you don't have 6 pre-shift temps.

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Old 04-02-2010, 11:00 AM
 
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Hi all,

I have been bad at taking my thep after my 7th straight day of elavated temp.. so I should be safe since the 3rd, but I need to start up again..my children have misplaced 2 of my thermometers I need to hide it in my pillow case.

Question
Anyway I decided to try and check my cervix one morning. I did notice it was firm and I guess closed(never felt it open) it was also tilted like more to the left side, so it wasn't centered. I am thinking this is normal..but just wanted to check and confirm.


oh..and how do I get the chart symbol to hold the url for my charting site.
TIA
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Old 04-02-2010, 11:06 AM - Thread Starter
 
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ETA: Also, and I don't mean to sound paranoid, but... For all those who did get pregnant accidentally while charting, what caused it? Was it a simple case of ignoring the signs and DTD anyway, or did your chart fool you? SIL got pregnant on the Billings method, and I offered to lend her TCOYF so she could learn to temp too, but she'd read that temping was more confusing than otherwise and wasn't interested. I... disagree strongly, myself, but it's her call!
We were being dumb and not ignoring fertility signs, to rationalize it we pulled the "I've never ovulated before "x" day" logic. Which I hadn't... I did that cycle though (I O'd 7 days earlier than "normal"). Now granted I did not have any egg-white CM that I noticed that day, I had plenty the next day though. We just figure God really intended that B join our family.

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Old 04-02-2010, 12:57 PM
 
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Emily ~ I agree with Shannon. It does look like you may have Oed. I'd put your O day one day later. Technically, though, you don't have the 6 pre-O temps to definitively confirm O.

dx ~ Yes, it's normal for the cervix to tilt one way or another and not be in the same position next time you check. And, btw, TCOYF says that once you get the 3 consecutive high temps that definitively confirm O, you can stop temping. I did that once when I hadn't really Oed and ended up with a lot of missing pre-O temps but that was my fault. I shouldn't have been so confident about my thermal shift since I had started a new medication right before my temp rise.

Cass ~ Guess that goes to show that you don't need ewcf to get pg. Any CF other than your BIP (which is usually dry/dry but can be sticky/sticky) is potentially fertile.

If I'm remembering correctly, I think there was someone who got pg about a year ago who claimed method failure. I disagreed. I can't remember the specifics now.

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Old 04-02-2010, 02:44 PM
 
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If I'm remembering correctly, I think there was someone who got pg about a year ago who claimed method failure. I disagreed. I can't remember the specifics now.
Wasn't it that she had also had sex during the fertile time using a condom? So it could have been method failure but it was more likely condom failure and there was really no way to tell? Or I could be thinking of someone else.

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Old 04-02-2010, 03:11 PM
 
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Wasn't it that she had also had sex during the fertile time using a condom? So it could have been method failure but it was more likely condom failure and there was really no way to tell? Or I could be thinking of someone else.
Oh, yes, I remember that! Technically, though, sex during the fertile stage w/a condom is within the rules for FAM, right? So would that situation be a FAM method failure but an NFP user failure? I'd still blame the condom if it were me.

-Shannon, momma to H reading.gif 8/03, N heartbeat.gif 9/06, & P homebirth.jpg 8/11, missing S brokenheart.gif born at 11 wks 1/09 

 


 
   

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