Charting to Avoid/Fertility Awareness, June 2010 - Page 9 - Mothering Forums

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#241 of 654 Old 06-11-2010, 01:20 AM
 
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Originally Posted by echospiritwarrior View Post
well you can officially remove me. chart stalking is over!

for those that want it.

I'll be back around Aug/Sept 2011


Congrats, mama! (and thanks for the dust!)

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#242 of 654 Old 06-11-2010, 02:06 AM
 
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You mean stretch yourself to have more children than you want or think you can handle? I've never had that kind of pressure so I can't imagine what it's like but I totally agree with you. You have no moral obligation other than to make sure that you can care for the children you have. If that means only one, that's perfect. If that means 20 (or however many it is now) that the Duggars have, that's perfect for them. If that means none, that's all good, too. I mean, really, no one should have children that they don't really want.
"Want" is a tricky term, though. In the abstract, I want a decent-sized family. I love having 5 sisters, and it makes me feel really sad to think of DD not having at least 3 or 4 siblings at family gatherings when they're all grown up. (That's why 3 is my "minimum" - two siblings seems like hardly any from my perspective, but better than just one...) I wish I were one of those "Yay, surprise twins, cool, let's blog about it while I'm baking bread during labour" easy-going whatever-life-throws-at-ya women... I really, really do. But I'm not - I WAY overthink things and have a lot of mental issues that get in the way of having babies. I was ridiculously, beyond-the-realms-of-normal upset to get stretch marks, and as for finding out I'd have to be induced in hospital, you'd have thought my whole family had perished in a flood. If I'd ended up with a C-section I think it would have destroyed me. Basically, I manage to create drama and angst over normal life at the best of times - losing a tooth as a child! Ohnoes, a bad haircut!! Call the paramedics, someone made a mean comment about my nose!!! - so childbirth, with its genuine risk of fairly unpleasant/humiliating things, is therefore not my forte. (I hide it well, though. My midwife thought I was terribly calm and together, when I was actually frozen stiff with abject terror and suffering. Oh well, at least I kept some dignity!)

Of course, the ironic thing is, if I found out I couldn't have more children I'd feel terribly bereft and betrayed, despite being "off the hook". I guess I'm just ornery. I've decided I'm not very good at being a woman - I don't cope gracefully with it. DH is similarly ambivalent about me getting pregnant again, but at least it wouldn't be HIS body on the line, you know?

I guess my current feelings can best be summed up as "I don't WANT more children, but I don't want to NOT have more children". Does that make sense?

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#243 of 654 Old 06-11-2010, 08:12 AM
 
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echospiritwarrier, congrats! Not sure if I want your dust or not.

Smokering, big s I'm one of those women who liked being pregnant and liked giving birth so I don't really know what you're going through, but I do know what it's like to be ambivalent.

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Haven't been here in a few days. Nothing new here. Temps are down, a few tweaks and o-pain every now and then. I'm on CD 14 and last month (my first month CTA) I o'ed on CD 17 so we'll see.

Oh FF said I was probably not fertile but CM is very wet or creamy rather than dry or sticky...weird or not??
Yeah, as MW said, you have to keep in mind that FF wants you to get pregnant. If you do not want to get pregnant, don't rely only on FF. You are definitely potentially fertile.

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#244 of 654 Old 06-11-2010, 08:50 AM
 
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Here's why you should wait for 3 high temps to confirm that O happened: http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/1f0436

In the words of one of my favorite TV show characters "Frick on a stick!". Is it possible that it's a fall back rise and my temp will be back up tomorrow?

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#245 of 654 Old 06-11-2010, 10:10 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Here's why you should wait for 3 high temps to confirm that O happened: http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/1f0436

In the words of one of my favorite TV show characters "Frick on a stick!". Is it possible that it's a fall back rise and my temp will be back up tomorrow?
Is it possible today was just a fluke?

AFM: 9DPO today, I am tired and cranky and I want to go home and go back to bed.

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#246 of 654 Old 06-11-2010, 10:51 AM
 
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Here's why you should wait for 3 high temps to confirm that O happened: http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/1f0436

In the words of one of my favorite TV show characters "Frick on a stick!". Is it possible that it's a fall back rise and my temp will be back up tomorrow?
Whoa Annie! I'm thinking maybe today is just something crazy? Was it really cold when you woke up or something?

On the other hand, maybe God wants something to happen for you?

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#247 of 654 Old 06-11-2010, 11:06 AM
 
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Annie ~ I don't think that can count as a fallback rise. My understanding is that a fallback rise occurs with the 2nd temp in the thermal shift.

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I know DH is feeling pressure from his family right now because everyone is surprised we haven't had kids yet, and I know they only get more pushy once you've had one already. It's like people assume "well you've already started, so what's stopping you from more?" Like having one kids is an automatic assumption that you'll be fine with 10.
I've seen a lot of people who have babies because they think that's what they are supposed to do without really wanting them. They succumb to pressure from family or from their religion or they just think that's what married couples do next without thinking about it. It's always sad for the children. The parents are mean and complain about their children in front of them. They dump with babysitters all the time so they can't get their own time. They talk right in front of their children about how they can't wait until they start school or can't wait until summer break is over so they can get rid of their kids. Much better to really think about it and do only what you decide is right for you. No one else's opinion matters.

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I guess my current feelings can best be summed up as "I don't WANT more children, but I don't want to NOT have more children". Does that make sense?
Yes, that makes sense. That's where I am but for different reasons. I love being pg and I love being in labor and I love giving birth. I certainly am not one of those women who has tons of energy and is always one the go and feeling great when pg. I am usually sick the first trimester. I gain too much weight. My joints hurt. I feel like I can't breathe. I can't sleep. I am tired all the time. However, I find the whole process so amazing that I love it in spite of feeling awful most of the time. I would also love to have the chance to have a girl. My life is so crazy for me right now with my dh away so much and me always having to do everything for everyone. I'm exhausted. I'm overwhelmed. And, I'm a little angry. I was a single parent for 9 years. When One of the major bonuses of getting married was that I would never be a single parent again. So, my current life circumstances are what's keeping from wholeheartedly wanting to get pg and have another baby. If my dh weren't going to have to leave again for at least 6-7 months at a time, I'd be all about TTC.

I'm not sure I understand where the moral obligation comes in if it's your own indecision. If the indecision comes from a difference between what you think you should do and what you actually want, that seems like an easy one to me. When it comes to having kids, as I said above, don't do it just because you think you should for your family or your church or the children you already have. That will only hurt the kids. My stepsis is an only child and she loved it. She wanted to have only one child because she thought that was perfect. I also know/have known many, many kids and teens who said they hated their siblings. Not everyone wants to have lots of siblings.

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#248 of 654 Old 06-11-2010, 12:08 PM
 
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Been crazy busy here but what's new! I think that I jinxed myself by saying that I didn't get AF back yet. Yesterday, I started spotting. I am sure that it is AF because now it makes sense why I was having abdominal cramping. My son will be 2 mos on Sunday. This is the earliest return. It doesn't surprise me at all. We have a complicated nursing situation. Sometimes he nurses at night and other times I am too tired to lay around for 30 to 45 mins so I pump and feed him with the bottle. I have 5 other children to take care, a house, and college so I can't be that exhausted like I used to be with my others. AND for some reason, STRESS makes my cycles come back. Totally opposite of the rest of the world, I know. My 4th and 5th are 14 mos apart because of Stress bringing back my cycle too soon.

So I started charting. Gone back to charting and condoms I love charting, hate the condoms like everyone else was saying. I think once I get back into a 3 mos charting pattern, we will just abstain during those times. I really don't enjoy sex with them at all. DH was afraid of that but the only other option we have is a vasectomy and I don't want that either.

I use ovusoft charts. Just started out with it and I love her book so I have stuck with it. I helps me track my supplements, work-outs, and my celiac reactions. How do I attach my chart for people to see? Not that there is anything to see yet. I still might be wrong and it is only PP bleeding again for the second time. I will know if CF starts back up.

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#249 of 654 Old 06-11-2010, 12:10 PM
 
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http://www.tcoyf.com/forum/chart.asp?id=sunniecooks
Checking to see if this link works.

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#250 of 654 Old 06-11-2010, 12:35 PM
 
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Is it possible today was just a fluke?

AFM: 9DPO today, I am tired and cranky and I want to go home and go back to bed.
Possibly...I don't really remember temping and usually I do, but I do remember when it finished and I looked at it and almost had a heart attack!

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#251 of 654 Old 06-11-2010, 12:36 PM
 
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Whoa Annie! I'm thinking maybe today is just something crazy? Was it really cold when you woke up or something?

On the other hand, maybe God wants something to happen for you?
No, temp was the same in my bedroom that it has been for the past few days. And I'm not sick so the two temps before were not from a fever or anything.

I did say a few weeks ago that the only way I was having a child would be through Divine Intervention...guess we'll see what happens!

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#252 of 654 Old 06-11-2010, 12:37 PM
 
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Annie ~ I don't think that can count as a fallback rise. My understanding is that a fallback rise occurs with the 2nd temp in the thermal shift.
I know. I was just hoping that maybe I was forgetting something. If tomorrow's temp is back up, I am going to discard today's temp and see how things end up.

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#253 of 654 Old 06-11-2010, 01:01 PM
 
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Sunnie: I can see your chart, but it's from July, with a positive test. I'm guessing that's not this month

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I've seen a lot of people who have babies because they think that's what they are supposed to do without really wanting them. They succumb to pressure from family or from their religion or they just think that's what married couples do next without thinking about it. It's always sad for the children. The parents are mean and complain about their children in front of them. They dump with babysitters all the time so they can't get their own time. They talk right in front of their children about how they can't wait until they start school or can't wait until summer break is over so they can get rid of their kids. Much better to really think about it and do only what you decide is right for you. No one else's opinion matters.
I work in a very affluent neighborhood, so we have several families who had children because they figure it didn't matter, they'd do the fun stuff and their nannies could take care of the rest. It is SO SAD to see children who's mothers I honestly don't think feel any love and affection towards them.

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#254 of 654 Old 06-11-2010, 01:24 PM
 
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Sunnie: I can see your chart, but it's from July, with a positive test. I'm guessing that's not this month
Yeah. Did you upload your new chart? There's a drop down menu for looking at all your uploaded charts. That's one thing I like better about Ovusoft than FF. You have access to all your charts and not just the few you are allowed to show on FF.

Annie ~ I've always been a little confused about what to do when you have a situation like that. It's ok to have a few lower than the CL temps in your lp but what if one of them is during the first part of the thermal shift? Do you have to start over with the lower temp or can you ignore it if all the other temps are like those first 2? I don't know.

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#255 of 654 Old 06-11-2010, 01:38 PM
 
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I'm only going by vague memory, but I think tcoyf says that you have to start counting another three high temps before you can consider yourself safe. Ie if tomorrow goes bck up, then she uses Sat, Sun and Mon, and then tuesday she can count herself safe. But you can still use the old coverline... like you don't have to include those two high temps in pre-o.

Gonna go see if i can find my book...



Ok- It says:

Quote:
If a temperature falls on or below the coverline during the three day count, you must start the count over again once ti has risen back above the line (I know, I know, boo hiss). However, you don't have to draw the coverline again.

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#256 of 654 Old 06-11-2010, 01:50 PM
 
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Well, what I teach in my class is that if the 3rd high temp is not at or above the full thermal shift (HTL for some), then you need to wait for the 4th high temp before you can consider yourself safe. If the 4th high temp is at or above the LTL, then you are safe. So I just need to wait and see what tomorrow brings. But I have never had a temp drop so far like that in my 34 cycles of charting.

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#257 of 654 Old 06-11-2010, 02:51 PM
 
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well you can officially remove me. chart stalking is over!
CONGRATS!!!

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for those that want it.
I'll definitely take some over here!

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#258 of 654 Old 06-11-2010, 03:05 PM
 
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Marinewife- I couldn't get the new chart to upload, ugh! Had to go do the catnapper CD so I could get some energy back. LOVE that CD. I also need to spend some time reading my Art History book, I have 80 pages to read by tuesday. So hopefully I can figure out what is wrong and get it uploaded. That was my charts from trying to conceive my son. I had found out on August 6th, 2009, that I was pregnant!! Now he will be 2 mos on Sunday.

Echo- I know how excited I was when I found out I was pregnant! H&H 9 mos. I will pass on the dust too!! I think DH might step in front of a semi truck if he found out I was pregnant again!

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#259 of 654 Old 06-11-2010, 03:07 PM
 
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Annie A- I am also in Va and my DH and I took NFP from a friend that teaches in Lynchburg.

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#260 of 654 Old 06-11-2010, 03:21 PM
 
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Annie A- I am also in Va and my DH and I took NFP from a friend that teaches in Lynchburg.
So cool! That would be Laura! I'm up in C'ville. We have an NFP discussion group that meets monthly at my church if you ever are in the area and want to attend. PM me and I can send you the details.

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#261 of 654 Old 06-11-2010, 04:50 PM
 
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I'm up in C'ville.
Have I ever mentioned that I grew up in Vienna? Small world.

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#262 of 654 Old 06-11-2010, 05:18 PM
 
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Have I ever mentioned that I grew up in Vienna? Small world.
So cool! Yes, it is a small world! I bet if we tried hard enough, we would figure out that both of our DHs know each other. They are about the same age and my DH's last duty station was New River.

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#263 of 654 Old 06-11-2010, 08:21 PM
 
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Here's why you should wait for 3 high temps to confirm that O happened: http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/1f0436

In the words of one of my favorite TV show characters "Frick on a stick!". Is it possible that it's a fall back rise and my temp will be back up tomorrow?


I would be so annoyed! Frick on a stick is right!

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#264 of 654 Old 06-12-2010, 07:47 AM
 
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Whoa, two posts in a row by me? What gives? Slow night around here!

I have so many open circles I don't want to trust my chart. They're all b/c of the time I had to temp, w/DD getting up earlier than usual or having rough nights. Last night she had a low grade fever and was so restless around 4 am, and then I was up with her at 5 to give her some motrin...and up at 6:30 to get ready for work. This kind of thing is unusual to say the least, but now I'm just going to be extra super careful and start really paying attn to CM. I haven't been too good w/that.

And how am I already on CD9? This cycle is flying by! Huzzah! If it continues to go by this quickly I'll be very happy.

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#265 of 654 Old 06-12-2010, 08:13 AM
 
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Baby Cakes, with the awesome shift you got last month, I wouldn't worry about your erratic temps too much yet. They still look like they're all in a lower range at least.

I finally got my thermometer! So far I love it. Assuming it works this cycle. I was worried about the beeping but it really isn't that loud. I can basically mute it by putting my thumb over the noise opening. Here's my chart. Not a whole lot to see yet.

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#266 of 654 Old 06-12-2010, 10:30 AM
 
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Annie A- It is Laura. Love her! We practice more FAM than NFP since we do use condoms occasionally. It was a very helpful class though. We have known her and her husband for 9 years. It is a small world too funny. Do you by chance homeschool?

Still dark brown spotting today. I think I may know why it won't update. I have to upload my old charts on my new computer so this cycle will read the 8th cycle not the first. Then it might work. I will work on that this weekend. I have a lot of reading and a paper to write this weekend so it will be busy. My kids have a program at the library this morning, oldest daughter is getting her hair fixed (a different hair dresser didn't do a good job), and then the town is having a 100 yr parade. It is going to be HOT today. Hope we can actually enjoy the parade.

I am working on losing about 90 lbs. I started walking yesterday and tracking what I am eating on babyfit.com. I walked for 20 mins yesterday and now today! Love it. Just thought it would be fun to share my success and struggles with my like minded friends!!

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#267 of 654 Old 06-12-2010, 11:25 AM
 
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I finally got my thermometer! So far I love it. Assuming it works this cycle. I was worried about the beeping but it really isn't that loud. I can basically mute it by putting my thumb over the noise opening. Here's my chart. Not a whole lot to see yet.
Is that the BD thermometer? I've been saying forever that the beeping isn't bad. It's easy to muffle it. But no one listens to me.

Baby_Cakes ~ Unless you are abstaining or using some other form of protection your entire pre-O phase until after you get a thermal shift, you need to always be paying close attention to CF.

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#268 of 654 Old 06-12-2010, 12:05 PM
 
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Originally Posted by MarineWife View Post
Is that the BD thermometer? I've been saying forever that the beeping isn't bad. It's easy to muffle it. But no one listens to me.
LOL sorry for not believing you. I just don't generally like beeping in my bed. Maybe now that I corroborate your story, others will believe us.

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#269 of 654 Old 06-12-2010, 12:34 PM
 
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Originally Posted by MarineWife View Post
Is that the BD thermometer? I've been saying forever that the beeping isn't bad. It's easy to muffle it. But no one listens to me.
I do that, too, when it's disturbing someone else in the bed. Usually they just sleep right through it even unmuffled, though.

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#270 of 654 Old 06-12-2010, 02:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by MovingMomma View Post
I do that, too, when it's disturbing someone else in the bed. Usually they just sleep right through it even unmuffled, though.
Lol - the beeping doesn't irritate me too much, and I thought that DH slept through it every morning. He recognizes the beep pattern now though.

B. is sick this weekend, we had eye exams today (no major vision changes, thank goodness!), and I am 10DPO today. Still not quite sure what to think. Being patient is getting harder with each day.

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