The July "Whatever" Thread - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 381 Old 07-05-2010, 02:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
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This is a place for those of us who are neither actively trying to conceive, nor trying to avoid. It's a 'safe haven' where we can try to encourage one another, descrease the stress of this process and most importantly, find comfort in knowing there are others going through this crazy journey with us.


June Graduates:
lyterae
jozmom
kcroto42


June had 27 posters, Two of which were pregnant already, and a few who were lurking but still avoiding. 3/25 not bad for our first month!
Please leave us a quick note if you received a BFP last month!

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#2 of 381 Old 07-05-2010, 02:51 PM
 
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subbing so I can stalk everyone else

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#3 of 381 Old 07-05-2010, 02:51 PM
 
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Is that it for June? I thought there was at least one more pg. Maybe I'm getting this thread and the CTA thread mixed up.

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#4 of 381 Old 07-05-2010, 03:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
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No you're right, I feel like there's one more, but I can't remember the name. I think it was quite a bit earlier in the month. There's Annie from CTA, but I don't think she meant to whatever

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#5 of 381 Old 07-05-2010, 03:09 PM
 
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It's funny how "whatevering" has made me suspicious of any possible symptoms, like nausea, fatigue, dizziness... I assume I'm not pregnant, but I guess I could be. I'll keep y'all posted.
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#6 of 381 Old 07-05-2010, 03:24 PM
 
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FF has me confused... I put my temp in this morning, and it gave me broken line cross-hairs for 9 days ago?! Is that how it usually happens? Some of my pre O temps are above the line, and a post-O one is under it. My WTF Chart Oh well, time will tell, I guess.

We're having a mellow day... SO went for a bike ride/alone time on the seawall (he's a school bus driver, so out of work at the moment) the kids are playing in the lane with their friends, and my only plans are to do laundry and water/pick at the container garden I planted on the weekend. It's super tiny, but I'm so excited to finally be growing something again!

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#7 of 381 Old 07-05-2010, 03:29 PM
 
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No you're right, I feel like there's one more, but I can't remember the name. I think it was quite a bit earlier in the month. There's Annie from CTA, but I don't think she meant to whatever
You're right! We were definitely not "whatevering"! But apparently I set DH up pretty well once I figured out that we had not waited long enough to confirm O because he said he wasn't completely shocked by the BFP like he had been with his first four kids.

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#8 of 381 Old 07-05-2010, 03:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Not really sure what FF is thinking, but I would tend to disagree with it! lol Maybe just a few days ago, but not 9 days ago I dont think.

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#9 of 381 Old 07-05-2010, 04:10 PM
 
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No you're right, I feel like there's one more, but I can't remember the name. I think it was quite a bit earlier in the month. There's Annie from CTA, but I don't think she meant to whatever
I think it might've been someone who came on just long enough to say she was whatevering and then found out she was pg, like jozmom but at the beginning/middle of the month.

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Originally Posted by Mummoth
FF has me confused... I put my temp in this morning, and it gave me broken line cross-hairs for 9 days ago?! Is that how it usually happens? Some of my pre O temps are above the line, and a post-O one is under it. My WTF Chart Oh well, time will tell, I guess.
I don't think FF is correct. It does do crazy things like that sometimes but it's not right. I'd say that, if your temp stays above 36.5 or 36.55 (Not sure how to draw the CL in celsius. It's different from farenheit.) the next 2 days, you can put crosshairs on cd57.

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It's funny how "whatevering" has made me suspicious of any possible symptoms, like nausea, fatigue, dizziness... I assume I'm not pregnant, but I guess I could be. I'll keep y'all posted.
Where are you in your cycle?

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#10 of 381 Old 07-05-2010, 04:23 PM
 
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You're right! We were definitely not "whatevering"! But apparently I set DH up pretty well once I figured out that we had not waited long enough to confirm O because he said he wasn't completely shocked by the BFP like he had been with his first four kids.
Annie, I wanted to give you a big fat congratulations how exciting. Our babes could even share a birthday!

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#11 of 381 Old 07-05-2010, 04:26 PM
 
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Where are you in your cycle?
CD15, but I'm not temping or keeping track of CM. I don't intend to test unless I'm late or I get more "obvious" symptoms.

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#12 of 381 Old 07-05-2010, 04:32 PM
 
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CD15, but I'm not temping or keeping track of CM. I don't intend to test unless I'm late or I get more "obvious" symptoms.
Oh, , that's way early to have any symptoms.

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#13 of 381 Old 07-05-2010, 04:38 PM
 
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Thanks JJ & MW! I was happy this morning to see my temp up from yesterday, but I was thinking the same thing, that I might be able to put crosshairs on CD56 or 57 in a few days. SO bought me a worry stone, maybe I should try using it

~Teresa, raising DS (Jan. 02) and DD1 (Jun. 04) and DD2 (Dec. 11) with DH.

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#14 of 381 Old 07-05-2010, 04:54 PM
 
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Oh, , that's way early to have any symptoms.
That is what I thought! I did think it's funny how my brain is playing tricks on me.

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#15 of 381 Old 07-05-2010, 06:12 PM
 
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You are too cute!

I'm so BORED of AF already. Just light spotting today so she's on her way outta dodge.

So...Chris and I are totally going to whatever this month!! Yay!! We chatted about it this morning and decided to just play it fast and loose again and see what happens. Not avoid. My heart was pounding b/c when I asked him if we could just not avoid, I thought he was going to say no, but he was cool with it!!

It's neat to be on the same page.

I told him that if at all possible I would like to be pg before November so I can avoid being heavily pg over summer months again. That was just dreadful.

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#16 of 381 Old 07-05-2010, 11:37 PM
 
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MW - I saw your post on the old thread, so I figured I would answer it here. I didn't know how much I would have to drink in order to mess up my temps, but I gave myself a break this weekend since I was drinking and going to bed later than usual. I really wasn't that coherent at 6am when my alarm went off for me to temp on Saturday and on Sunday I couldn't even find my thermometer (DP likes to move the darn thing!) The bad thing is I have missed 3 days of temping back to back. I am still having EWCM today and it seems to be even wetter than yesterday, so I am thinking that I got lucky and even with missing all those temps I still might see my shift! LOL

I don't think I am really "whatevering" anymore, but I like this thread. No one has posted on the Wanting But Waiting thread and the CTA thread scares me. I'm afraid of commitment.

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#17 of 381 Old 07-06-2010, 12:21 AM
 
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I didn't know how much I would have to drink in order to mess up my temps
Temping regardless will tell you if it affects your temp at all. The thing is that one high temp from drinking won't obscure your thermal shift. You can always discard the temp if it does get in the way. I prefer to have temps even if they are off than have no temps at all. I understand not feeling coherent enough to temp at 6 am, though. One missed temp won't make a big difference, either. Of course, 3 missing temps might but you should still be able to see whether you Oed or not, eventually.

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#18 of 381 Old 07-06-2010, 12:40 AM
 
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Is it bad that it sounds like a fun challenge to find out exactly how much alcohol it takes to mess up my temps? Purely for the interest of science, of course...

~Teresa, raising DS (Jan. 02) and DD1 (Jun. 04) and DD2 (Dec. 11) with DH.

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#19 of 381 Old 07-06-2010, 12:53 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I did my best attempt at getting drunk on new years, rationalizing to DH that since we were going into a phase of "possibly not avoiding" (yes, it has been since January that it's been up in the air, and yes I am mad about it lol) and the dr cautioned against any alcohol while ttc (obviously...), I wasn't going to be able to drink for probably 2 years, so i might as well enjoy it while I can.

But see... I really don't drink (wine, maybe three times a year, and I've -never- been drunk in my life. So after downing 3/4 bottle of wine and still only feeling giggly, I gave up. I'm a tad disappointed I couldn't manage to follow through. But the point of this-- my temp was completely normal the next morning, though I did have a random day of fertile CF the next day before drying up for another week.

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#20 of 381 Old 07-06-2010, 07:54 AM
 
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Is it bad that it sounds like a fun challenge to find out exactly how much alcohol it takes to mess up my temps? Purely for the interest of science, of course...
Lets try! I'm up for the challenge!!

AFM - DD woke up at 5 FREAKING 30 this morning! I thought she'd just roll over and go back to sleep, but after struggling w/her for 30 min I realized that wasn't going to be the case, so I temped at 6 am (a full HOUR and a half earlier than normal, plus after tossing and turning w/her) anyway. I'm all about having a brutally honest chart, so even if I have a rough night, get drunk, take ibuprofen, take benadryl, or anything -- I still temp. I just really hate missing temps!!

So now my chart has a wacky little dive. It's ok w/me though b/c its not a crucial time anyways.

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#21 of 381 Old 07-06-2010, 08:57 AM
 
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I miss charting! Still no AF for me . . .so we are just waiting. DH said he'd like the baby to not be born until after he finished massage school (he starts a 9 month program in November) and Intuitive Jamie (yes, I had to ask!) said she thought I'd be pregnant around or right after DS's b'day, so all the stars might line up! LOL

I can't tell you if we are avoiding or not, except that we haven't DTD in . . a while. whenever we do again, I will let you know I guess not DTD certainly isn't in the realm of "trying"!

I am looking forward to stalking all these charts! it is like a refresher course prior to me charting again! (which I will, once I have a new cycle!)

and the drinking . . . It isn't that you can't drink while BF'ing, it is just not alot; I have had a glass of wine, or one of champagne. I haven't ever been drunk either, but I found one strong drink on an empty stomach is enough to make me tipsy! All for the drinking game though!

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#22 of 381 Old 07-06-2010, 09:05 AM
 
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^FWIW, on Sunday I had 3 or 4 margaritas (the premade kind, in a tall glass w/ice) and was definitely feeling it!! My temp the next day wasn't affected at all it seemed. But, by the time I went to bed, I was fine -- so I'm not sure that makes a difference or not but my guess is you'd have to go to bed drunk. And I don't like doing that b/c then you wake up hungover! :Puke

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#23 of 381 Old 07-06-2010, 09:18 AM
 
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I wasn't drunk when I went to bed, but there were various reasons why I didn't temp that next morning. And then misplacing my thermometer didn't help me the morning after that either.

I'm hoping I didn't miss anything by doing that, but I honestly don't think that I have. I thought I was going to O the other day, but I still have tons of EWCM. I normally dry back up before AF shows, so I know what's normal for me. We'll see. My temp took a dip this morning. Well, compared to 3 days ago. Haha. But, it was down in the 96's.

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#24 of 381 Old 07-06-2010, 10:31 AM
 
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I am just popping in here. I was part of the Charting to Avoid/FAM thread but life got the best of me and I havent checked in there in a while now.

DH & I are not really whatevering, but he pulls out all the time, so whatever you want to call that. I still chart,but much more loosely now and really dont chart as strict as I used to.

I work night shift part time..2 nights a week. Im a nurse on the OB Unit here. I have 1 DS who will be 2.5 the end of August. I want another baby very soon. DH wants to wait. At first he said not until DS was gonna be in school[kindergarten]...now, when I ask him..he said the other day. Im not ready right now, I want to wait until he's a little older. I asked him what that means, specifically..like...would he want another baby to be born around the time DS is 4...and hes like...maybe, yeah. Which would mean getting pg around the time DS turns 3-ish..which is like only 6 months away. This is what I've been trying to get out of him forever now. So, we'll see. I cant say for sure how he will react when the time comes to actually try and not pull out..he may have stagefright and realize hes still not ready. i dont know. But for now, im going with it. and hoping he will too!!!

So, I'll try and check in here!!
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#25 of 381 Old 07-06-2010, 11:30 AM
 
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I asked him what that means, specifically..like...would he want another baby to be born around the time DS is 4...and hes like...maybe, yeah. Which would mean getting pg around the time DS turns 3-ish..which is like only 6 months away. This is what I've been trying to get out of him forever now.
Sometimes I wonder if men get that if you want to have a baby at this time, you have to start trying to get pregnant about a year before then.

Carrie ~ If you O at a regular time (not unusually early), that temp won't count, anyway.

on the drinking experiment. (I'm just kidding.) The US is very uptight about alcohol and pregnancy but many other countries are not and don't have a higher incidence of alcoholic related fetal injuries. My neighbor is from Spain and her Spanish OB told her to drink a glass of beer a day while pg to help bring her milk in. I don't know if that really helps with milk production but it didn't do any harm to her baby. I'm not advocating drinking lots of alcohol while whatevering or pg or bfing, either. Just saying it's not as bad as we in the USA are lead to believe. Think about all the women who aren't even considering getting pg so they are going about their normal daily business, which may include some alcohol every once in a while, and get pg by accident. Unless they drink heavily most days for a lot of their pg, their babies are fine.

I'm counting down the days for and dh to show. Should be about 5 more days for both. Then I can start seriously not obsessing about whether or not I'm pg.

OT: I'm afraid I may have a virus or something. My security s/w stopped working yesterday and wont' update or anything. Then the font on my email shrank so small that I can barely see it and I can't change it back. It is tiny. Anyone know anything about that and/or how to fix it? I tried the security s/w website but it won't do anything because it can't communicate with my s/w so I sent a technical request. It's CA security, by the way.

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#26 of 381 Old 07-06-2010, 12:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Sometimes I wonder if men get that if you want to have a baby at this time, you have to start trying to get pregnant about a year before then.

on the drinking experiment. (I'm just kidding.) The US is very uptight about alcohol and pregnancy but many other countries are not and don't have a higher incidence of alcoholic related fetal injuries.
I know really!! They forget that there's a good chance it'll take a few months. Trying doesn't automatically mean it will happen the first time.

As for drinking during pregnancy, I feel very strongly about it in the beginning, but once you get to like 8-9 months, I feel like a glass of wine once in a while is something I'm confident about taking a risk on. In the earlier stages when there's still so much development, I'm not comfortable with that. But for breastfeeding, yeah, I have no problem with it, especially since I drink SO little. I've read some fairly convincing studies about the miniscule amount that makes it through to the breastmilk.

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#27 of 381 Old 07-06-2010, 01:01 PM
 
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As for drinking during pregnancy, I feel very strongly about it in the beginning, but once you get to like 8-9 months, I feel like a glass of wine once in a while is something I'm confident about taking a risk on. In the earlier stages when there's still so much development, I'm not comfortable with that.
The reason that drinking at all is so discouraged in the US is because no one knows exactly how much alcohol can be consumed before it starts to affect the fetus. I think the effects may be very individualized, too, so that even if we knew how much alcohol was safe and how much is too much for the general population, there's no way to know how much is ok for any particular woman or baby. KWIM?

That being said, even in the earliest stages, I doubt that 1-2 alcoholic drinks once will do any harm, for example, having a beer at a 4th of July BBQ at 10w pg when that's the only alcohol you have for months. I had 4 beers one time when I went bowling when I was 3-4 weeks pg with ds2 and he's fine. When I was around 12w pg with ds3, I started to have what felt like contractions and after trying a few other things, my MW suggested a glass of red wine and a warm bath. That did the trick. If I told you everything I was doing in the months leading up to and for the 1st trimester that I was pg with ds1 and didn't know it, you'd probably be shocked. He is absolutely fine. He's never shown any signs of any alcohol or drug-related problems that I know of and no doc has ever mentioned anything.

Again, I am not advocating drinking alcohol while pg. I think it's better to be safe than sorry and avoid it. However, I think it's also important to understand that it's not the evil that it has been made out to be in the USA. Pregnant women don't need the added stress of the worry about the glass of champagne they had on New Year's Eve or whatever.

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#28 of 381 Old 07-06-2010, 01:32 PM
 
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I hear you girls about men and the baby thing. Hes like "im not ready for another baby right now". "maybe in another year".even though I remind him that the baby wouldnt be here for 9 more months..lol. So, when he says maybe in another year. Im thinking..well do you mean another year before we START trying or another year to have the baby be BORN. Two TOTALLY different situations there ya know. lol. And thats when he said maybe a new baby around the time DS is 4. So, im hoping he can understand that even though we'd be trying when DS is 3..a new baby wouldnt arrive[hopefully] till he was almost 4.

A few weeks ago he was saying he wanted to wait until DS was in kindergardten or close to 4 ish to even start trying, etc. but now he seems to be thinking a bit sooner, which im so happy to hear. I just dont want to get my hopes up and then he still isnt ready in 6 more months. ugh!

its hard waiting this long...it would suck to know that we may start TTC in 6 months only for him to say hes still not ready. ya know.
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#29 of 381 Old 07-06-2010, 01:34 PM
 
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question:

since this is the "whatevering" thread, what are you all using...or NOT using...lol... for birth control. just wondering.
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#30 of 381 Old 07-06-2010, 02:02 PM
 
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mommy - Since having my IUD out in April, we've been kinda sorta CTA. April we used condoms the whole month. In May we used condoms only when I was potentially fertile, and in June, well, we didn't use condoms at all even when I was potentially fertile. This month is going to be another not-using-any-condoms-even-if-potentially-fertile month. The difference is that I'm not going to go all crazy nutso if we don't feel like DTD during fertile times, and I'm not going to "warn" him that I'm potentially fertile if we do. Just going to make love to my husband, and if we make a baby, we make a baby.

Yay for babies!

Funny thing - It came up in convo over the 4th of July holiday with my MIL and BIL that we were thinking of having another baby. My BIL of all ppl was shocked, like, "What happened to waiting a few years before having another baby??" I said to him, "Well, I kind of like the idea of 3 years b/w children...and Nora's almost 2! That's only a few more months before I'd have be pg again to get that spacing..."

Even HE didn't realize it takes 9 whole months to cook a baby, plus however long it takes to conceive one. Funny how women know that and men don't.

Carrie SAHM to Nora Caitlyn (5) and Finnley Dax (2) homebirthing, breastfeeding, babywearing, intactivist, doula mama!         
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