If you have kids 3-4 years apart... - Mothering Forums

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Old 07-19-2010, 02:24 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Just wanted to ask you moms out there who have children 3.5-4 years apart, how your transition went when your 2nd was born?

I have a DS right now who will be 2.5 the end of August. He is our first and I had an unplanned C Section. I would be having a repeat C section the next time around. Im really hoping we can start TTW by the time DS is 3, so that would put the spacing around 3 years 9 months apart.

I also work at the hospital 2 nights a week. DH works full time. DS is in school right now 3 days a week and will continue to go to school if/when another comes along.

So, what was the hardest part for you during your transition? I am expecting it to be harder mainly b/c I have to have a c section and I remember how hard it was in the beginning with DS, let alone 2 kids.

DS is potty training now, so Im hopeful he will be pretty much potty trained by the time another baby comes.

Im just looking to see how you thought the transition went for you, how well you coped, etc? What were the biggest challenges? I will have to go back to work most likely after 12 weeks. I plan on Bfing and pumping when I go back to work[as I did with DS..but I didnt go back to work with DS till he was 6 months and he was sleeping pretty well by then].

I also tend to get overwhelmed easily with things in general, so just looking for suggestions/ideas on what your experience was?

Thanks alot!

ETA: I do have great family support and a DH who is very helpful around the house and with DS. So, I do have alot of support, emotionally and physically!
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Old 07-19-2010, 02:33 PM
 
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There is a 4 yr age gap between #2 and #3, and I have to say, it was SOO much easier than the transition with my two that are 26 months apart. The older children adored the baby, and the age difference seemed to eliminate any sibling rivalry issues. My 4 yr old was able to help with all kinds of things, which made her feel more involved with the baby from the start. She was verbal enough to make her feelings known, and able to play by herself for periods of time without needing my direct supervision.

#3 is 4 now (dd is 8, ds1 is the oldest) and has never really known anything in his life but love and kindness -- no siblings take his toys, or pushed him down when he was learning to talk, no one gets mad at him for invading their space, etc. It's really, imo, an ideal age spread.

I did worry that with that age difference, the older kids might not be as close to him as I would like, but that hasn't been the case at all. From the day he was born, they have loved him and taught him, guided him, and protected him. He, in turn, thinks they are the most incredible beings on the planet.

Not sure if you had more specific questions, but I found it, overall, to be a really smooth, painless transition, and I really like that age difference.

Joy, mama to Aquaboy (10), Goldilocks (8), Squidge (4)
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Old 09-20-2010, 03:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Old 09-20-2010, 04:07 PM
 
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My oldest transitioned into the big brother pretty easily. He was involved in things by that point and we continued those after the baby was born so his routine wasn't interupted much. He did say one time he wanted to give the baby back and get a girl instead, but that didn't last long.

The hardest thing for me was seeing how grown up he was once I had a baby. He was just so independent and big.
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Old 09-20-2010, 04:19 PM
 
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We're in process, right now, our age gap will be just over 5 years though. I had really hoped for a 3-4 year gap and it just didn't work out. Right now I'm feeling pretty good, during the first trimester though I was so thankful that my dd was independent enough that I could nap when I needed to and run off to throw-up without being too concerned for her.

wife of 8 years to DH geek.gif, mama to DD blahblah.gif (2006) & DS jog.gif (2011) angel1.gif (Dec. 2012) rainbow1284.gif due Nov. 2013 

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