The August 'Whatever' Thread - Page 17 - Mothering Forums
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#481 of 491 Old 09-01-2010, 09:10 AM
 
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Originally Posted by BarefootScientist View Post
Wow, no, not at all. And the "my way or the highway" comment? What a UAV.

Don't let him or the nurses make you feel bad about anything, they obviously don't think too hard about their comments before letting their mouths flap.
The comments about my age don't make me feel bad, per se. They are just annoying. I don't know why anyone needs to make negative comments about someone else's choice, especially a stranger who hasn't been asked for an opinion. The one nurse who was in the exam room with me was very nice. When the OB started to say something about me being 40 she said it was just a number.

Although, I have to admit I didn't appreciate the lecture from the intake nurse about how I would need all kinds of extra prenatal testing and care because of my increased risk of having a baby with a medical problem. On a good note, she didn't give me a hard time about not wanting an amnio. She just said I'd be sent to the MFM doc for a level 2 u/s. I, of course, can decline that if/when the time comes. I think I would get that, though, just to make sure there aren't any issues that may preclude me from having a homebirth.

The, "my way or the highway" comment is what bothered me the most. I don't like to be ignored and dismissed. I'm not good at doing what I'm told, either.

As for my charting, I'm not sure how reliable my chart is going to be. I keep waking up really early and not being able to get back to sleep. I've been temping when I first wake up and then again at my usual time (or as close to it as I get before I give up on getting back to sleep). My temp has been the same, 97.3, except for 2 days when it was 97.7. I'm beginning to wonder if that's inaccurate and just what my temp is after laying in bed for an hour or two without sleeping.

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#482 of 491 Old 09-01-2010, 09:29 AM
 
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And that leads me to the other part. All except one nurse commented on me being 40 and wanting another baby as if I were crazy. Is it really so strange for a 40yo to want another baby? I bet a 40yo man married to a younger woman wouldn't get negative comments for wanting a baby.

So, the creepy part. I wasn't sure if I wanted to tell you all this because I'm really not sure what to think of it. As I'm sitting on the table wrapped in paper the doc looks at his nurse and says, "Oh, she's cute," with a huge smile on his face. Then he comments that I don't look 40. He may have honestly just thought I was cute but that doesn't seem like an appropriate comment for a male OB to make right before he's going to have his face and fingers between my legs.
I think it goes both ways - I remember being 27 when I was pg and hearing all sorts of, "You're just a baby yourself, " comments from the nurses and from older co-workers. It pissed me off but I knew it was just their problem.

BUT. What a chauvinist comment. Very Hand that Rocks the Cradle to me...

I too would get the level II u/s if I were planning a HB with your history. It would be too much to bear if something emergent did occur during labor/birth -- but that's just me.

So, interesting tidbit. This cycle I'm trying to be better about taking my temps before moving/getting up etc. I've been keeping my therm under my pillow so that I don't have to climb over DD to get to the nightstand (which was inevitable). My pre-O temps are so low! It's interesting, cool and I think they are more reliable. Hopefully I get a nice clear shift this cycle for it!

Carrie SAHM to Nora Caitlyn (5) and Finnley Dax (2) homebirthing, breastfeeding, babywearing, intactivist, doula mama!         
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#483 of 491 Old 09-01-2010, 10:00 AM
 
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I forgot who asked, but as far as the baby being meant to happen, I do believe that, I mean, other than abstinence, nothing is 100% as far as not getting pregnant. I also feel that there is a baby anxious to join our family, and probably part of the reason we are far more open to conceiving around DS's 1st birthday instead of his 2nd (which is what I orginally intended, pre-DS).

MW - that OB seems awful! however, it is a small town, and I think, generally speaking, the population is skewed pretty young, (with the exception of the civilians and retirees that stay in the area) so the doc and nurses are probably not as used to seeing "older" mothers. I am not there yet, but can I tell you, I detest the term - Advanced Maternal Age - !!! geesh. anyway. I shadowed a couple of CNM's at the Naval Hospital when I was in high school for bring your daughters to work day, and they had said that they really enjoy working with the military, because the women are younger, with less health problems, and tend to take care of themselves much better (than where they worked before joining the Navy. I think they worked in the backwoods of NC and Georgia before). I wish the doc in Wilmington were closer, he seemed to be a much better fit for you.

Carrie, fx for pretty charts! I never took my temp IN bed; always in the bathroom.

I can't seem to remember who said what! but for whoever is DTD EOD, nothing wrong with that, I really want to aim for that, but not really for conception purposes, but just, well, because - ED is too much, and and much less and we tend to get off track. I don't think it is too TTC.

I have no updates on myself - same old, same old. I really hate long cycles! but I will put up with it, b/c we aren't ready to wean. and won't be anytime soon. If/when I get pregnant, it will likely be while nursing, I just think it will not be in a predictable fashion like conceiving DS was.

Katrina - Mama to Gabriel  sleepytime.gif 11/20/2009 and Norah vbac.gif 10/11/2011- married to Wayne - geek.gif novaxnocirc.gifbfinfant.giffamilybed1.gifcd.gif&nbspand now new baby Theodore born 3/11/13 vbac.gif

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#484 of 491 Old 09-01-2010, 10:17 AM
 
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MW - that OB seems awful! however, it is a small town, and I think, generally speaking, the population is skewed pretty young, (with the exception of the civilians and retirees that stay in the area) so the doc and nurses are probably not as used to seeing "older" mothers. I am not there yet, but can I tell you, I detest the term - Advanced Maternal Age - !!! geesh.<snip> I wish the doc in Wilmington were closer, he seemed to be a much better fit for you.
The midwife I saw recently said the new term is "elderly gravid." How nice is that?

The MFM doc doesn't provide OB or prenatal care. He only does genetic testing/counseling, SPN baby type stuff. So, even if he were closer, he wouldn't see me for pre-pg stuff. My age works in my favor in his case because once I do get pg I will get referred to him again.

I think it was me who said we were dtd eod. It wasn't planned. Just how things seemed to work. I wanted to do it more often a few times but my dh was exhausted so I let him have one day of recovery. DTD every 2-3 days should be sufficient to get pg eventually. When we were hardcore TTC we tried ED and did not get pg. We went to every 36 hours and I got pg the first cycle.

Carrie ~ Yeah, the age thing does go both ways. When I was in the hospital after having ds1, the nurses came in the room to explain how to take care of a new baby. They looked at me then looked at my mother and proceeded to explain everything to my mother as if I wouldn't understand. I was 20 at the time but they thought I was even younger. That made me so mad. I was like, "Hey! I'm the mom here!"

I think it depends a lot on the demographics of your area, as katrina pointed out. With ds1 I was living in northern VA where there are a lot of career-oriented women who wait until their 30s to start having babies. My RE said I was one of his younger clients at 32. Here in the military town, most couples are very young (by my standards), late teens to early 20s so I seem ancient to be having a baby. I got the same reaction when I had ds2 in Hawaii and I was only 33 then.

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#485 of 491 Old 09-01-2010, 11:59 AM
 
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whew! trying to keep up with everyone. love it!

mw ~ i, too, encountered the nurses who had me on the "high risk" path, simply bc i was 41. i simply decided to ignore them and their tests. and the creepy and arrogant comments from your ob, i just have to say, make me feel sick. just totally inappropriate.

kim & maine mama ~ welcome! i'm new to this thread, too.

showed yesterday morning. well, in a way its like a rebirth each month. a chance to awaken anew, and who knows what beauty there might be in this new cycle!

kindermama ~ i'm definitely of the thought that our child will come when he/she is ready, when the time is right. i don't feel i understand how that works with miscarriage. something there for me obviously wasn't right, yet. i feel and have felt for at least several years that there is a soul who will join our family and be our last child. dd has talked about "little sister" for years, too. and every night, when she calls out goodnights to all of us, she includes little one. and dh always responds with a little cry. i just have faith that everything in our lives is conspiring to make the path for the new child to come.

happy september !

xo

~Karenchicken3.gifso happy to be mothering my four... DS ('94), DS ('94), DD ('00), and DS -- June 8, 2011, our UC baby!

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#486 of 491 Old 09-01-2010, 02:03 PM
 
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welcome to the new mommas!

MW: good heavens! That "my way or the highway" comment! I would have said, "Seriously? You just lost yourself a client!" And been out the door. (Okay, in my perfect world...I probably wouldn't have the guts to do that IRL! But I sure wouldn't be going back to him, either.) And that "she's cute," comment? Super creepy. Maybe even reportable.

AFM: CM is sticky and scant, so we're DTD (CTA on the casual side for another month or two) and I'm crossing my fingers that O will hold off long enough that AF won't show on our upcoming vacation. So far things are looking good for that!

-Shannon, momma to H reading.gif 8/03, N heartbeat.gif 9/06, & P homebirth.jpg 8/11, missing S brokenheart.gif born at 11 wks 1/09 

 


 
   

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#487 of 491 Old 09-01-2010, 02:23 PM
 
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MW: good heavens! That "my way or the highway" comment! I would have said, "Seriously? You just lost yourself a client!" And been out the door. (Okay, in my perfect world...I probably wouldn't have the guts to do that IRL! But I sure wouldn't be going back to him, either.) And that "she's cute," comment? Super creepy. Maybe even reportable.
Well, if I weren't naked except for a paper sheet and I had options, that's exactly what I would have done. I've got no one else to go to, though. I even considered getting TC Prime so I could go on base but I was told I would almost certainly be referred off base anyway and that would give me even less options. I can put up with his arrogance, let him think I agree with everything he says, long enough to get and stay pg and then I'll be gone. It sucks, though. My RE in VA was so wonderful. I wish I could go back to him.

On a charting/cycle note, I've got gobs of ewcf but the opk was still negative this am. My plan to cut off bd for a girl may not work. I don't really want to go more than 4 days without dtd (not to mention the fact that it's been 4 freakin days since I got any!) so will do it Thursday when dh gets home. Although, I'm wondering if he might come home today because of the hurricane. This weekend should be a nice long, lovefest.

Forgot to ask, y'all want me to start a new thread for the new month?

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#488 of 491 Old 09-01-2010, 02:28 PM
 
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MW: LOL 4 days! I know I said I'd love EOD, and we do aim for that, but end up hitting once a week at most lately. Hope you get your nice long weekend love fest! and a girl to boot!

as far as starting the September thread, go for it, I wouldn't know where to begin.

Katrina - Mama to Gabriel  sleepytime.gif 11/20/2009 and Norah vbac.gif 10/11/2011- married to Wayne - geek.gif novaxnocirc.gifbfinfant.giffamilybed1.gifcd.gif&nbspand now new baby Theodore born 3/11/13 vbac.gif

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#489 of 491 Old 09-01-2010, 10:41 PM
 
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Originally Posted by MarineWife View Post
So, the creepy part. I wasn't sure if I wanted to tell you all this because I'm really not sure what to think of it. As I'm sitting on the table wrapped in paper the doc looks at his nurse and says, "Oh, she's cute," with a huge smile on his face. Then he comments that I don't look 40. He may have honestly just thought I was cute but that doesn't seem like an appropriate comment for a male OB to make right before he's going to have his face and fingers between my legs.
Okay that is so extremely creepy. I would be shocked!

Consciously mothering 3 girls and 2 boys
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#490 of 491 Old 09-01-2010, 10:50 PM
 
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MW that is super bad about the OB. i too find his comments sickening. I would have felt very uncomfortable with the "she's cute" thing, esp combined with the highway.
start teh new thread!!
i gotta go get dh in bed for another try, think i still haven't o'd so must keep at it.
goodnight. oh and do you use the epo only til ovulation? and the flaxseed all the time?
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#491 of 491 Old 09-02-2010, 09:19 AM
 
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The September Thread

hilary ~ Answered your question there.

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