The September "Whatever" Thread - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 437 Old 09-02-2010, 09:18 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Ok, here it is.

hilary ~ I don't know about EPO. I don't take that. The midwife I saw told me to start taking the flaxseed oil after I was already pg because it's supposed to help support a pg. (Actually, she told me to take fish oil but that makes me sick so I take flaxseed oil instead, which is fine.) Flaxseed oil can be taken all the time.

My temps were weird again. I woke at 4:20 and took my temp, 97.3. Stayed in bed, maybe dozed off a few times, maybe not. Temped again at 6:35, 97.7. That's close to what it would be from the 4:20 if adjusted. So, how weird is that my temp is either 97.3 or 97.7 regardless of when I take it? I put the 4:20 temp in. Yesterday's temp was taken around 5:30.

I got a + opk today. What to do, what to do. If we BD tonight and I O tomorrow, it will be serious boy timing. If we don't BD, I think it may be too late for a chance of pg. Last BD would just barely be within the 6 day window but my CF was sticky that day so not likely that much sperm survived. I would not really count on a pg from that. If I don't O until the day after tomorrow and we BD tonight, it could go either way, I think, but still more boy timing. *sigh*

You guys can tell me if I'm getting to TTC for this thread. I won't be hurt or offended.

Oh,

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#2 of 437 Old 09-02-2010, 09:40 AM
 
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MW: I know it is more boy timing, but does it really guarantee a boy? is there still some chance for a girl? and how dead set are you on pink? Just some thoughts. and I for one would like you to stay, if for no other reason than you are just so knowledgeable!


did we have any graduates in August? I don't think so.

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#3 of 437 Old 09-02-2010, 09:43 AM
 
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Hilary - yes, you only take EPO from af through O. It can cause uterine contrax which is why you should stop taking it, just in case you are pg. Then after 37 weeks, you can take it again to encourage labor, if you want. I think last pg, I took it from 37 or 38 weeks and DD came at 39w3d.

MW - I don't think you sound "too TTC", but should you be giving your body more time? I know you don't have it in your heart to prevent, and obviously you have to do what your heart tells you, but just be cautious. Be careful. Did the dr you saw tell you to wait a cycle or anything before not preventing anymore? You can tell me to zip it if I'm out of line at all. Otherwise, I say a +opk can mean a few things. You might not O for 2 days in which case a BD tonight would have a better chance for girl. DD was conceived O-2.

AFM - I didn't temp this am b/c I woke up and realized DD had wet the bed. Ugh. It was 6:30 am!! So, I had to wake her up, change her, change the sheets, etc. More important things to do, I guess! I'm not concerned b/c I'm still pre-O, so we'll just keep dtd like always and see what happens. It was almost liberating not to temp. I think I may confirm O this cycle and then stop temping. It was very freeing.

Still, here's my chart in case anyone is interested in looking. Kinda boring as of yet.

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#4 of 437 Old 09-02-2010, 09:46 AM
 
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MW I think you're fine. I mean as far as being too TTC. I think we all understand why you don't want to be on the TTC boards, and since your DH is ambivalent or not totally not board...are you really TTC? I mean, I know we've talked about this a lot but I don't think there is really a definition of TTC. There's a continuum from very strict CTA-absolutely-do-not-want-a-baby to you know, IVF or what not. And this thread is for those of us somewhere in the middle who feel like we belong more "whatever". At least IMO.

There's a funky red line right on the edge of your chart, what is that? Never seen that before. It does definitely look like you're Oing fairly soon. Good luck!

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#5 of 437 Old 09-02-2010, 09:48 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by akind1 View Post
MW: I know it is more boy timing, but does it really guarantee a boy? is there still some chance for a girl? and how dead set are you on pink? Just some thoughts. and I for one would like you to stay, if for no other reason than you are just so knowledgeable!


did we have any graduates in August? I don't think so.
I don't think we did have any graduates for August.

Of course, there's no guarantee but I think with my history another boy would be very, very likely. I would absolutely love, love, love a girl. This would be my absolute last chance for a girl. I'm pretty sure that I would not want to have a 5th baby when I am 43+ and I know my dh won't. That being said, I realized a few days ago that I'd be just as happy with a boy at this point as long as I get a live baby.

I won't go anywhere. I'm not wanting to go to the TTC board. I'll just shut up about all my girl TTC stuff if it's too much for anyone.

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#6 of 437 Old 09-02-2010, 09:48 AM
 
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MW, I think you should just go for it. We've both been on these boards long enough to have seen mamas have boys from DTD 6 days prior to O and mamas that have girls from DTD the day before O.

AFM: I wonder if I should join you guys over here. DH and I have not had a discussion regarding this but we have resumed intercourse and we do not use any protection or w/d. Are we playing with fire? I'm not worried about a baby but I am worried about getting pregnant so soon after a D&E.

My chart: http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/1f0436

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#7 of 437 Old 09-02-2010, 09:49 AM
 
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Originally Posted by BarefootScientist View Post
There's a funky red line right on the edge of your chart, what is that? Never seen that before. It does definitely look like you're Oing fairly soon. Good luck!
Hey, yeah what is that line??

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#8 of 437 Old 09-02-2010, 09:55 AM
 
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Wow this thread is quite busy right now.

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I won't go anywhere. I'm not wanting to go to the TTC board. I'll just shut up about all my girl TTC stuff if it's too much for anyone.
You don't have to shut up. I'm enjoying hearing about it all, though I don't have many comments.

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AFM: I wonder if I should join you guys over here. DH and I have not had a discussion regarding this but we have resumed intercourse and we do not use any protection or w/d. Are we playing with fire? I'm not worried about a baby but I am worried about getting pregnant so soon after a D&E.
Annie you are certainly welcome to join us! I know absolutely nothing about D&E so I can't say anything about whether it's too soon but I would advise at least talking to your DH about it so you're on the same page.

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#9 of 437 Old 09-02-2010, 10:01 AM - Thread Starter
 
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We're cross-posting.

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Originally Posted by BarefootScientist View Post
There's a funky red line right on the edge of your chart, what is that? Never seen that before. It does definitely look like you're Oing fairly soon. Good luck!
Oops. I was messing with my chart and wanted to see what the PG monitor would say if I do O tomorrow so I set the O detector to opk. The red line meant O would be tomorrow. I changed it back.

The PG monitor said chances of pg would be low with just the bd we have because there's none in the fertile window. That's kind of weird because then I read info about the fertile window on FF that says it is the 5 days before and the day of O. Wouldn't that mean any bd within 6 days of O could result in a pg?

The Fertile Window

Annie ~ It is possible for you to get pg this cycle. It all depends on when/if you O. You may get another bleed before you O. You may not. There's no way to know ahead of time. The intake nurse at the OB's office I went to the other day said it's recommended to wait 3 full cycles after a m/c to get pg again to allow the lining to build back up. However, the OB was excited that I looked very fertile when he did my exam and told me to go home and bd that night. The MFM doc didn't seem concerned about me getting pg again right away. He didn't advise against it. My miscarriage was much earlier than yours, though, and I did not have a D&C. I don't how those 2 factors might influence their attitudes.

Also, I think I've told you this, but from what I've read online there's no scientifically based medical reason to wait. That seems to be more of a convenience thing for the docs so they can date your pg more easily. The other reason I've read docs suggest women wait to get pg again is for their emotional well-being.

I think if you feel emotionally ready for another pg and your body is ready, don't worry about it. I don't think the body would O and allow for a pg if it weren't ready. KWIM? If you really don't want to get pg again right away, use precautions.

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#10 of 437 Old 09-02-2010, 10:03 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm enjoying hearing about it all, though I don't have many comments.
Yes, I can hear you faintly chuckling at me.

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#11 of 437 Old 09-02-2010, 10:07 AM
 
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I think if you feel emotionally ready for another pg and your body is ready, don't worry about it. I don't think the body would O and allow for a pg if it weren't ready. KWIM? If you really don't want to get pg again right away, use precautions.
That's been my thinking as well. I think our bodies are much better at protecting themselves than we give them credit for. Survival of the species and all. With regard to the emotional side of things, I'll have to think about that some more. Someone over on the loss forums said you should use the gauge of if you would be emotionally ok with another loss. I'm not sure where I am with that.

Oh and BFS, I agree that DH and I need to have a convo about this.

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#12 of 437 Old 09-02-2010, 10:09 AM
 
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Yes, I can hear you faintly chuckling at me.

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#13 of 437 Old 09-02-2010, 10:15 AM
 
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MW - i take hemp oild instead of flax oil and it's supposed to be a lot better. I think it has something to do with the ratio of omega fatty acids? And it's vegan I am getting now what BD means, but what is the literal translation?

Annie - I think that if you're not ready to conceive again, then I would at least talk to DH about WD. My loss was conceived with a WD, late in my cycle.

This thread is moving fast...I don't know how you all keep up

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#14 of 437 Old 09-02-2010, 10:21 AM
 
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MW - i take hemp oild instead of flax oil and it's supposed to be a lot better. I think it has something to do with the ratio of omega fatty acids? And it's vegan I am getting now what BD means, but what is the literal translation?
Baby Dance I believe.

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#15 of 437 Old 09-02-2010, 10:26 AM
 
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Annie - I think that if you're not ready to conceive again, then I would at least talk to DH about WD. My loss was conceived with a WD, late in my cycle.
Our religion does not condone w/d. So if we need to avoid, we abstain. I think I'm going to have to talk to him about this tonight.

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#16 of 437 Old 09-02-2010, 10:36 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Someone over on the loss forums said you should use the gauge of if you would be emotionally ok with another loss.
If I went by that, I would never be ready to try again. I really don't know how anyone could be ok in any way with another loss. But I also feel like I don't really have much choice. For me, it's either hope/try for another pg and risk another loss or completely give up on ever having another baby. When I was going through this last m/c, I thought I was ready to give up. I just didn't want to deal with any of it anymore. I'm in a different place now. I'm not ready to give up the hope of having another baby someday so I keep on keeping on.

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#17 of 437 Old 09-02-2010, 11:09 AM
 
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#18 of 437 Old 09-02-2010, 01:19 PM
 
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Everything all you ladies have said *nods* I'm running a little behind today, but MW- I would say go for it if you want to-- but if you don't feel like dtd tonight, then take that as fate or what have you that it's better to wait until next month. But I don't see a problem with trying to fit one more in, and it's not guaranteed that it would result in a boy...

I think conceiving after a loss is probably more of an emotional thing as well. Obviously how your body reacted to it makes a difference, but I do agree it makes sense evolutionary that our bodies would be ready again. I would think I guess, that if your body wasn't ready for another pregnancy, then you likely simply wouldn't get pregnant. If the concern is the lining, then there wouldn't be a place for it to implant firmly, ykwim?

AFM: I'm about CD10 I think, no real signs of impending ovulation, I haven't been temping, keep saying I'll start, but haven't yet. My CF is not dry... but it doesn't seem fertile either, mostly creamy if I had to classify. I have two days off now, so I think we'll get some BD in anyways

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#19 of 437 Old 09-02-2010, 01:55 PM
 
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MW: Aren't the better odds just like 60/40 when going for gender?

I haven't seen any convincing studies either way about whether waiting to conceive post-mc is better than not. I think it's clear there's no need to wait past 3 cycles, emotional considerations aside. But the latest big study that said it was actually better to go for it right away than to wait was looking at older women (over 40) & maybe they all had fertility issues to begin with...anyway, I wasn't convinced that the data said what the authors said it did; there were too many confounding variables.

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#20 of 437 Old 09-02-2010, 02:23 PM
 
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MW- I was thinking...on whether or not u should bd after the pos opk. I think search deep and think what do you want more - a girl or a baby either way? I think if your answer is girl - wait. If your answer is baby either way - go for it.

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#21 of 437 Old 09-02-2010, 03:29 PM
 
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Ok, here it is.

hilary ~ I don't know about EPO. I don't take that. The midwife I saw told me to start taking the flaxseed oil after I was already pg because it's supposed to help support a pg. (Actually, she told me to take fish oil but that makes me sick so I take flaxseed oil instead, which is fine.) Flaxseed oil can be taken all the time.

My temps were weird again. I woke at 4:20 and took my temp, 97.3. Stayed in bed, maybe dozed off a few times, maybe not. Temped again at 6:35, 97.7. That's close to what it would be from the 4:20 if adjusted. So, how weird is that my temp is either 97.3 or 97.7 regardless of when I take it? I put the 4:20 temp in. Yesterday's temp was taken around 5:30.

I got a + opk today. What to do, what to do. If we BD tonight and I O tomorrow, it will be serious boy timing. If we don't BD, I think it may be too late for a chance of pg. Last BD would just barely be within the 6 day window but my CF was sticky that day so not likely that much sperm survived. I would not really count on a pg from that. If I don't O until the day after tomorrow and we BD tonight, it could go either way, I think, but still more boy timing. *sigh*

You guys can tell me if I'm getting to TTC for this thread. I won't be hurt or offended.

Oh,
Well, while I guess that trying to avoid DTD if the mood strikes specifically because you don't want a boy is not "whatevering"....I'd be guilty of the same thing. I really really want a girl. So I'm not help in that department.

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#22 of 437 Old 09-02-2010, 03:37 PM
 
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MW, I think you should just go for it. We've both been on these boards long enough to have seen mamas have boys from DTD 6 days prior to O and mamas that have girls from DTD the day before O.

AFM: I wonder if I should join you guys over here. DH and I have not had a discussion regarding this but we have resumed intercourse and we do not use any protection or w/d. Are we playing with fire? I'm not worried about a baby but I am worried about getting pregnant so soon after a D&E.

My chart: http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/1f0436
Did your doctor say when you could try again? I'm not sure about a D&E, I think I've heard 3 months. As someone suggested though, I'm not sure the reason behind that is totally necessary. With a "regular" miscarriage (passed naturally) I was told by a midwife that whenever you are emotionally ready is fine. So if you don't have any concerns about actually getting pregnant right now I would just keep on doing what you are doing. After talking to your dh of course.

AFM: I am on CD12 and gearing up for O. This is my first cycle post miscarriage. Oddly enough, I am having more fertile CM than I've had in a while! At least more amounts of the same kind. My temps have also been going strangely low this month.
Most of us seem to be at about the same point in our cycles.
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2be681

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#23 of 437 Old 09-02-2010, 03:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
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MW: Aren't the better odds just like 60/40 when going for gender?
I have no idea. I haven't seen any stats on that, unless you are talking strictly Shettles. I can't remember the specific #s but there were 3 different studies with 3 different outcomes. I think one had a pretty high rate of gender success but there were major questions about the validity of the study.

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But the latest big study that said it was actually better to go for it right away than to wait was looking at older women (over 40) & maybe they all had fertility issues to begin with...anyway, I wasn't convinced that the data said what the authors said it did; there were too many confounding variables.
Well, that would be me, wouldn't it? Is that what people are referring to when they say there's a higher chance of conception right after a m/c? I have seen that idea thrown around but have never seen any studies or reasons to back it up.

Carrie ~ Definitely a baby, boy or girl, is more important to me at this point than a girl. I guess I also don't really put a lot of stock in the gender selection methods. I think it's fun/interesting to try as long as it isn't dangerous or detrimental to conceiving in general. That's why I won't do the extreme girl sway stuff.

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#24 of 437 Old 09-02-2010, 03:56 PM
 
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Did your doctor say when you could try again? I'm not sure about a D&E, I think I've heard 3 months. As someone suggested though, I'm not sure the reason behind that is totally necessary. With a "regular" miscarriage (passed naturally) I was told by a midwife that whenever you are emotionally ready is fine. So if you don't have any concerns about actually getting pregnant right now I would just keep on doing what you are doing. After talking to your dh of course.

AFM: I am on CD12 and gearing up for O. This is my first cycle post miscarriage. Oddly enough, I am having more fertile CM than I've had in a while! At least more amounts of the same kind. My temps have also been going strangely low this month.
Most of us seem to be at about the same point in our cycles.
http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/2be681
The doctor that performed the D&E said we should wait 3 months. Also my friend who is a doc said the same thing. The thing about the uterine lining makes sense and I wouldn't want to intentionally conceive if it was just going to end in a very early miscarriage. Definitely going to need to have a talk with DH tonight because I have EWCF now.

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#25 of 437 Old 09-02-2010, 03:58 PM
 
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I have no idea. I haven't seen any stats on that, unless you are talking strictly Shettles. I can't remember the specific #s but there were 3 different studies with 3 different outcomes. I think one had a pretty high rate of gender success but there were major questions about the validity of the study.



Well, that would be me, wouldn't it? Is that what people are referring to when they say there's a higher chance of conception right after a m/c? I have seen that idea thrown around but have never seen any studies or reasons to back it up.

Carrie ~ Definitely a baby, boy or girl, is more important to me at this point than a girl. I guess I also don't really put a lot of stock in the gender selection methods. I think it's fun/interesting to try as long as it isn't dangerous or detrimental to conceiving in general. That's why I won't do the extreme girl sway stuff.
A new study was released about a month ago that said that the cycle after a miscarriage was highly fertile. I can't remember exactly but I bet you could find it on Google news under health.

Purely anecdotal, but I've also heard that older guys produce more girls...something about the X sperm being more hardy than the Y sperm.

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#26 of 437 Old 09-02-2010, 05:10 PM
 
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Here's an article about the study I mentioned.

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#27 of 437 Old 09-02-2010, 05:23 PM
 
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I was reading an article somewhere that said women who conceive within 6 months of a miscarriage are much more likely to carry a subsequent pregnancy to term than women who wait or conceive a year or more post m/c. I think it might have been a link of msnbc -so pretty mainstream.

CM has dried up (again) so maybe AF is around the corner? I hope so, this is like CD 52 or 52 now. ready for a new beginning!

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#28 of 437 Old 09-02-2010, 05:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
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That's interesting but it addresses pregnancies within 6 months or after 6 months of a miscarriage. Waiting 6 months seems excessive to me. I don't know that that really helps when trying to decide whether or not to prevent the same cycle as the miscarriage or the cycle right after.

I've noticed none of the info makes a distinction between a very early miscarriage and a later miscarriage. I would think there might be different recovery times for a chemical pg vs. a miscarriage that occurs before 8 or 10 weeks vs. a miscarriage that occurs at 22 weeks or whatever the cut off is for when it becomes a stillbirth. (I'm just pulling #s out of the air.) They also don't distinguish between a natural or spontaneous miscarriage and having a medical procedure such as a D&C or D&E or taking meds to complete the miscarriage.

For example, with the uterine lining issue, my intuition tells me that if the pg ended very early, say before 8 weeks, and the bleeding was like a regular , not a lot of heavy, prolonged bleeding or passing lots of clots, the lining would be fine right away. With a D&C or a D&E I think it might take longer for the lining to build back up because more might have been removed than would have been shed naturally.

I know this post is long but I've got another question. Shannon, your expertise please , and anyone else who knows or has an idea or opinion.

I got my first + opk with FMU today. I tested twice yesterday, once with FMU and once in the afternoon, and both were dark, almost there but still negative. I had 2 days of copious ewcf. Today my CF has been scant and sticky. My temp is tricky. I woke at 4:20 so took my temp and it was 97.3. I stayed in bed and dozed off and on but never really got back to a deep sleep. I took my temp again at 6:35 and it was 97.7. If I adjusted it from the 4:20 temp, it would have been 97.8. Except for 2 other unusually high temps, both also 97.7, my temps have been 97.3. That would mean today's temp is way above most of my previous temps. So, now to my question...

Do you think it's possible I Oed before I got the + opk? Maybe I Oed overnight. If I didn't O but my peak day was yesterday and my CF has since dried up, is it very likely that I could still get pg?

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#29 of 437 Old 09-02-2010, 07:13 PM
 
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I think if yesterday was your peak day, and CF is drying up and O is today (for example) and you bd tonight, you still have a good chance of getting pg. I'm curious to see what your temps are for the next few days, though, to see if you can confirm O. Or -- my other guess, would be that your body geared up to O, and then backed off. You just can't be sure yet w/o seeing more temps.

AFM - I am swimming in CF over here. It's a bit uncomfortable. I've never had this much and I even contemplated wearing a liner, lol.

I got an invite to a baby shower today, and while I'm happy for this person, man did I feel bitter for awhile. Another person having a baby that isn't me, woo hoo, for reals.

akind1 - I sure hope finds u soon! 52 days is a long time. Hang in there, sweetie.

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#30 of 437 Old 09-02-2010, 07:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Baby_Cakes View Post
my other guess, would be that your body geared up to O, and then backed off. You just can't be sure yet w/o seeing more temps.
That's always a possibility. I certainly have had many times when I've gotten ewcf that dried up and hadn't Oed and ended up getting another patch of ewcf later with confirmed O. However, I've never gotten a + opk and not Oed and I've used a lot of opks. I know it can happen so I'm not ruling it out completely. I just think it would be very unlikely for me.

At any rate, I'm getting way to TTC. I need to chill. Talk me down, guys. Talk me down!

Oh and on the baby shower invite, I saw on FB yesterday that someone I know is pg again. This is a person who I dropped as a friend because she was so insensitive about my m/c last summer. I feel kind of bad for doing that but I just couldn't deal with the stuff she kept saying. So then to see that she's pg again right after I've had another m/c killed me. I just cried and cried.

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