Have children but might regret vasectomy - Mothering Forums

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Old 10-10-2010, 01:57 AM - Thread Starter
 
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UUGGGHHH....I have 5 and now feel remorse for scheduling DH's vasectomy so close to # 5's birth. I seriously feel like I could end up being like Michelle Duggar. I have five beautiful, wonderful children and I feel like that should be enough. However, the thought of leaving these childbearing years makes me so sad. DH had his vasectomy 2 weeks after my last baby was born but never went back to have his sperm count tested. I find myself hoping every month that it didn't work but feel ambivalent at the same time. They are SO MUCH work but so incredible at the same time. Can anyone else identify with where I am at? I'm feeling like a crazy lady.

Stephanie-33 lucky mama of 5 precious ones: DD-12, DS-9 , DS-6 , and DD-3 and Bridget Alannah  SHE'S ONE NOW! loving wife to DH-38
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Old 10-10-2010, 02:19 AM
 
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Me too!

We didn't do anything permanent. We "chanced" it up until July. My new OBGYN convinced me to have the Mirena IUD inserted. That didn't work out so well, so it was removed about five weeks ago. I started the birth control pill again this week.

I'm DYING for #4, but DH isn't buying it. It's driving me crazy, especially since DD3 just turned 1 and she's self weaning. I don't like it at all.

Having three daughters is extremely expensive. We both work full time and it takes everything we make, and we make fairly well for our area.

I keep telling myself maybe some day.

Charlize, married to DH 4/12/04. Mom to DD1 (4/2005) dust.gif, DD2 (3/2007) blowkiss.gif, and DD3 (10/2009) bouncy.gif, and DD4 (6/2011) energy.gif.
 
 

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Old 10-10-2010, 11:35 AM
 
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We are kinda flipside. After surprise twins (making 3&4 out of planned 2), DH had vasectomy. I am SO done but now DH says he would love to have more. We both work FT and share parenting pretty equally, but I have always enjoyed the older age kids and don't want to do baby stage ever again.

Joanna - wife to Mike, mamachicken to Cub(8/98), Kitten (4/07), Dew-man, and Woe-boy(twins, 10/08)
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Old 10-12-2010, 09:37 AM
 
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Yes. After 3 years of it, DH went and got a reversal. I'm sure I had a huge influence on his decision but he really made the decision himself. We're now "whatevering"

Consciously mothering 3 girls and 2 boys
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Old 01-05-2011, 09:42 AM
 
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my dh had the big V during a brief seperation because he felt done we reconciled one condition was a reversal  now he's refusing and I find myself in a very difficult place where I have to chose between what I want (a large family) and keeping the family we have together.    vasectomy has been hell for me   beside that huge feeling that he's broken it just seems unnatural to me that this man mutilated himself...

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Old 01-24-2011, 10:03 AM
 
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We're planning on a  vasectomy sometime before I'm due (in Sept) and although I would love to have more, the thought of 5 really freaks my husband out.  My only regret is that we haven't 'tried' yet and we won't get the chance to be really excited about a pregnany (we're happy, but could be more comfortable with the idea of a baby if my husband was done with school and our finances were more secure).  I will probably be sad when the time comes but I know that it's for the best.


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Old 03-23-2011, 09:33 AM
 
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I understand your feelings, and wish I had something wise to say.  We welcomed our lovely surprise baby girl at the end of January to make baby #7.  I never thought I'd have this many children, and am amazed every day at how blessed we are.  And I remember very clearly "knowing" during her labor that I was done having babies. (I'm not as young as I used to be ;) ) We want to make sure there is time and energy to really parent and homeschool all our children.  Given our past experience, we would expect to have two or three more before the natural end of my fertility!  DH is not a good candidate for vasectomy, and we are planning on Adiana for me, BUT I think I'll always be conflicted about the desire to well by our existing children, and the sadness of knowing there will be no more babies. 


....living, learning and loving everyday with the Sweet Pea Bridgade
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