some of this is TMI... sorry...
my whole life i wanted to be a mom. when we got married, and decided to start a family, every time i saw af, it made me so sad. then i finally became a mom 2 tmes. dh didn't want anymore. i wanted another. for some time i was ok with it, but then i started thinking about it all of the time... i KNEW another one was coming soon, and told dh. several week later we had a drunken oops (we use WD method), and a got pg. well, dh REALLY does not want anymore (he will not get the V, which i'm fine with), and for the first time in my life, i have been content with my 3 kids. it's a strange feeling to all of a sudden not have an intense desire to be pg, like i was my whole life. anyway, lately the feeling is starting to come back, where it started as "well, maybe another wouldn't be so bad", and it's growing into "i think i want another". the feeling that i had before #3's pg is growing... like "i KNOW another one is coming...". i watch pg shows all of the time again, i'm always reading on the pg forum here, i can't stop thinking about it again. then on cd8, i felt dh "do something" (i have 26 day cycles, so this would be considered a fertile time). and then on cd14, i felt it again. (my first 2 children were conceived on cd13, and my second on the night of cd14)... SO... now i'm damn-near obsessing about being pg again!!! UGH!!! sometimes i am glad when dh has to go away to work around my fertile time, just so i don't obsess on the tww, yk? anyway, i can't stop thinking about it, but can't test until later this week. i hate the feeling of seeing your af come, and then being disappointed. i hate the feeling that i "thought" maybe we were done, and now my little is 3 1/2 yo, and do i really want to start over again? i feel so unsure, but can't shake the feeling of wanting another baby.
anyone else btdt? aren't sure if you're done of not... sometimes think that you REALLY want another... then obsess about it during the tww?
thanks for any replies... this whole thing is driving me nutty!!!
Keri ~ Wife to dh Mommy to dd 12
dd 7 1/2