Deciding to conceive in spite of bad genes? - Mothering Forums
Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
#1 of 3 Old 11-06-2010, 01:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
Leap for Joy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Tucson, AZ
Posts: 5
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I recently found out that I have two sets of troublesome genetic markers. My children will have one or the other. One set isn't too bad, the other set could cause a lifetime of issues. We have one DS already, and had been TTC before getting these results. Now we're unsure what to do.

Any words of wisdom or advice? Anyone else BTDT?
Leap for Joy is offline  
#2 of 3 Old 11-06-2010, 01:48 PM
 
EllyMayMomma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Dixie Land
Posts: 156
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
This is a question you really have to search your soul about. I can only relate my experience, really that of my sister and friend. My sister married a man who was great but there was a history of mental illness in his family. She did not know the extent of the cousins with different diagnosises, including schizophrenia. Long story short, her son is severe aspergers, high functioning and severe adhd. Although he makes perfect grades in school, he makes terrible life choices, and is in and out of trouble. His early babyhood and childhood were miserable and heartbreaking.

She chose to not have any more children with her husband. I have a best friend that has almost the same issues with her son and she made the same decision. So many tears over the decision but both women knew they could not have another child like that again, as much as they love their sons.

My sister chose to have another baby with donated sperm from a sperm bank. She has another son who is night and day to her first one.

I know one other family where momma had a normal son and has a second son with terrible genetic problems. He is at home, on a vent, now about 7 yrs old. He can smile (that is all he can do) and when he does it lights his momma's life. But her first son does not have the happy childhood that he would have had if this tragedy had not hit their family. Momma stays at home but spends all of her time nursing the little brother because they can not afford a nurse and she does not want him to be in a nursing home. She is not going to be able to take care of him at home much longer. (I was the RN who took care of the second baby in our NICU when he was born and for several weeks afterward before we shipped him to one of the best and higher level NICU's in the country.)

I don't know what kind of markers you are talking about - I hope they are not this bad. It would have devastated me to only one child - would it you? If it were me, I would look into donated eggs or adoption. Sorry if this is not the answer you were looking for. This is such an emotional subject for me.

We will serve the Lord.
Married 19 yrs, DD 16, DS 10, DS 7, and two babies in heaven (1998) and (2010). Praying for peace and healing from our loss.
EllyMayMomma is offline  
#3 of 3 Old 11-06-2010, 03:48 PM
 
HulaJenn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Ontario, Canada eh.
Posts: 1,904
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We have a genetic history of clefting. We have 1 child with it and 2 without but all have an increased chance of having kids of their own with it. Even knowing this, we "rolled the dice" and the decision was difficult - and this particular gene is only a cosmetic thing (still requires years of surgeries and its own challenges).
If the markers you are speaking of are more severe than that, and there is no chance that they won't have 1 or the other and 1 could be so major - my question is, what are your reasons behind wanting another and wanting to roll that dice? One can only ask why you would want to bring a child into the world knowing they would only suffer through their whole life. So if that was the biggest possibility, then i too would consider other options like donor egg/sperm or adoption to fulfill your need for more children.

Jenn (36), wife to DH for 13 years, DD1(13) , DD2(10) and DS(4)

HulaJenn is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off