I just say I am not out to support everyone else's children, just mine.
Honestly, I hate hate hate the people who are like that. These are people who do not even hear what they are saying. Just because some country on the otherside of the world has population issues and such does not mean I should not have more children. The same PC people who are in to population control tend to be in to a lot of things I am not in to.....basically, a lot of over the top, close minded PC view points. I even saw someone post the other day to a news article that white people should not be allowed to have children. Then claims that the only white people who have more than 2 children are racists who are trying to have more kids than black people. How racist is THAT statement?
Honestly, my children are well raised and hopefully, will be contributing members of society. There are not enough contributing members of society, and at the direction it is going, the world needs more contributing members to support all those people who want to live off of welfare and social programs that involve them not working and others supporting them (like in Canada and the UK).
So, on a case by case basis, if someone says something to me about it, I have a different response. But it is usually obvious. Like the drug addict (yes, a relative of dh's, who is a drug addict and only had their own single child live with them on occassion) telling me how I should not have another. I think I said something to the effect of "correct, YOU should not have another, but we need more of my children to pay the taxes to cover your bills." Oh, my mother tried to tell me I should have no more when I was on my second. But then when my brother married someone who already had 4 children by 2-3 different men, my mother went on and on about how it was so wrong that she was refusing to have a child with him. I asked her why someone who has had that many children by that many men is entitled, but I am not just because all my children are with the same man. Think about it. I do not know anyone who objects to big families who also objects to the couple who already have 4-5 kids between them with other people, having one together. Sort of a "one and done" attitude. Must be with lots of partners and make lots of babies, but none of them by the same dad/mom.
Anyway, I am trying to say that this sort of remark just ticks me off big time. And I just get mad when someone dares to say it to me.
"Who asked you?"
Said with either a friendly smile, scowl, or look of (pretend) total confusion.... depending upon whos asking.
Sleepy mama to Colin Theodore 8-12-08 and Trevor Arthur 7-17-12.
I am SO using some stuff from this thread in my campaign (to my dh) for another baby!!
Wife to one amazing husband , SAHM to DS 10/09, DS 10/19, one furbaby , and lots of !
I LOVE this line! So perfect-I may just have to use it. I so agree with what many have said on here-having wanted and loved children can only be a good thing! If you're happy with your choices then who cares what anyone else thinks.
Trish~mama to Kaelie 5/03 and Amelia 12/13, surro mama to Aidan 2/08 & Ellyss 6/09,
My MIL is one of those people (jeeze, I wonder how many times Ive typed that sentence). She has even said when DH and I talked about trying this coming summer, "Oh, it would be so sad if you had them so close together because DH would never get to see them. Plus,then you'd be done with babies forever before you are even 30!" This sentence is offensive because a) she assumes that I want to have kids past 35, and that DH and I were "too young" to start a family- I was 26 when DD was born b) she makes the assumption that I dont plan to have more than 2, even though weve told her more than once that we do want more than 2. c) she makes the assumption that its ME pusing for more kids and Im just going to work her poor son to death- he wants 5!! I only want 3!!! grrr...
Usually, when people make comments like that I just say, "Well, its good that Im the one having them, not you!" and try to laugh it off.
Holly and David
Adaline (3/20/10), and Charlie (1/26/12- 4/10/12) and our identical twins Callie and Wendy (01/04/13)
As a mama of a large family and possibly another on the way, my response to rude people is either pass the bean dip or some sort of its none of your buisness response. As long as you can provide for your family that is all that matters. How many kids you have is up to you, your partner and what ever higher power you believe in. Tell the rude people that they get a say in how large your family is when they are the ones paying your bills, doing your laundry and cooking your meals. Till then they have no say and do not need to be so rude. Once called out people normally back off.
"It's inappropriate to judge others' family planning decisions, and I'll neither comment on yours nor defend mine."
Mi vida loca: full-time WOHM, frugalista, foodie wannabe, 10+ years of TCOYF
R-E-S-P-E-C-T spells BRAND NEW User Agreement!!
I LOVE that and think I may have to use it!
I wouldn't dare comment on how many children other people have. I think it would be irresponsible for ME to have more children if I couldn't support my existing kids basic needs. I'm from a large family (6 kids) and my parents were from families of 3-6 kids and my grandparents each had 16 siblings (and most of them lived into adulthood)! My DH is from a notably smaller family. We're TTC #3. Our life will change when (s)he gets here (there will be bedroom sharing) but we're not worried. I always imagined I'd have 4 kids (it seems like the perfect number). As far as population goes, I think we're doing our country a favour. The government is non-stop talking about the amount of old people that will need to be taken care of and the lack of young people that will be able to pay their (OUR!) pension and health expenses.
SAHstepM to C and N
Overpopulation is a myth. Its a complete myth. Thats what I tell people anyway.