Wanting But Waiting Tribe - 2011 - Page 13 - Mothering Forums

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Old 05-21-2011, 08:58 AM
 
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Thanks sosurreal09 for the welcome. We're at a very good and happy place in our relationship and I think we're really, truly, as ready as we'll ever be. I've always wanted children when I was in my early 20's... so thank you for the words of encouragement!

 

Can't wait to be a momma!


Lost our first to ectopic...

angel.gif August 19th, 2011 angel.gif

 

Lost our second to an early miscarriage...

angel.gif February 14th, 2012 angel.gif

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Old 05-21-2011, 06:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by colta View Post

Hello, I'm new here and wondering if I could be added to the list?

 

Myself and DH have officially decided that we will be trying for sure in June, 2012... this will be our very first munchkin! joy.gif

 

We're both young, I'm 22 and he's 24, but we've wanted a family for sometime and after a VERY big scare, we believe that we are more than ready to start a brood of our own. So far, the June date is sticking... but I'm wheedling him down to October-December of 2011... so fingers crossed for me ladies! I want to have a summer baby and be a momma!! thumbsup.gif

 

So wish me luck everyone, I'm hoping to start doing the official BD sometime October to December this year!

 

Welcome!  flowersforyou.gif

 

Should I put you under June 2012 or October-December 2011?  I stuck you under "Late 2011" for now; let me know if that should be changed. 
 

 

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Old 05-21-2011, 08:33 PM
 
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Late 2011 sounds good! We've kind of been flip flopping, but I'm 98% sure that we're going to be trying in that time frame... 

 

I'm so excited, good luck to everyone trying or getting ready to try!


Lost our first to ectopic...

angel.gif August 19th, 2011 angel.gif

 

Lost our second to an early miscarriage...

angel.gif February 14th, 2012 angel.gif

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Old 05-22-2011, 09:44 AM
 
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Welcome Colta!  I agree..if your DH and you are both ready, then nothing wrong with being young!  It's better for your body anyway..we are designed to have children in that time period and you will probably have more energy than I will with my next!  I'm turning 30 this summer, and already worrying that I'll have trouble getting pg a second time around and knowing that it will likely be a lot harder on my body this time!   Anyway, I'm in Utah, where you are LATE if you don't start having kids until your mid-twenties!  So not going to judge here!  LOL.

 

And just wanted to root you on Sosureal! 


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Old 05-24-2011, 10:58 PM
 
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Welcome, Colta!
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by trauerweidchen View Post

SweetTea, I waffled a lot before getting pregnant with DS. And mostly I'm thrilled it happened when it did, but sometimes I wish I'd had more time to do certain things. Most importantly, though, is if you feel it might be better to wait, I'd hold off for awhile. This is one road that you can't turn around on; even when DS grows up and leaves the nest, our lives have been changed forever, and that's a wonderful thing, but it's also a big, scary commitment. You can't predict how many ways your lives will change. So if it feels right to wait, there's nothing wrong with that IMO.


Thanks (and congratulations on your wedding anniversary)!

 

I'm still "on the fence/leaning towards no" about TTC anytime soon.  I've been feeling DH out a bit to see if he's also in agreement or if he's just going along to get along in hopes that I change my mind.  So far, I think he's also learning towards no, at least for the time being.  That is definitely a relief because I was feeling pretty guilty about being the one to put the kabosh on things, but now it seems like I may have just been voicing concerns that we both had but were reluctant to talk about after months and months and months of talking about TTC starting this summer.  With two major cross-country/state moves in less than a month, as well as his starting a new job, and my own job search -- that up until today was fruitless, but might lead to something in the next week or so (fingers crossed) -- even the thought of trying to have a baby on purpose right now seems insane. 

 

I am allowing myself room to waver again once things settle down for good again.  I know the crazy urge to procreate tends to wax and wane for me.  Right now, my biggest focus is just getting a job, and getting settled into a new routine with DH now that we're back in the States.  With so much on our plates, I can admit in hindsight that a big part of my wanting to wait stemmed from not feeling as close to DH during all the changes -- like we were moving in the same direction but in two different vehicles.  Things have gotten so much better now that we're in the same place and seeing each other everyday again, and talking about things other than sudden major life changes like moves and jobs and money and babies. Once I have a lot less to stress out about, I may feel differently about the whole TTC thing.

 


I'm Jay, 30, married to DH, 31. Fell in love in 2003, married since 2010.
Our little guy makes three! #1 born Dec 2012 Soon to be a family of four! #2 due Jun 2015

A little of this, a little of that.


Mostly just trusting our gut and doing things our way.
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Old 05-25-2011, 05:14 AM
 
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I KWYM Jay. DH and I are over some troubled waters right now. He has been under a lot of stress at work and he has been freaking out. He still insists we should "just get pregnant now" but his actions are making me want to wait longer...I certainly can't add another family member if DH can't handle the way it currently is. He has sort of been going through a "quarter life crisis". IDK how to explain it really...


 Young born-again mama and loving wife peace.gif to DH jammin.gif and SAHP to two crazy girls dust.gifwehomebirth.jpgfly-by-nursing2.gifslinggirl.giffamilybed1.gif and believe gd.giflactivist.gif  signcirc1.gif !

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Old 05-25-2011, 12:31 PM
 
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SweetTea-- I have definitely felt that way!  I realllly want a baby but as soon as my DP says "okay let's go for it" I get cold feet!  I'm sure it will happen for us soon, but right now I'm just trying to enjoy the waiting and check things off of my to-do list.


 Married to my sweetie and enjoying life with our fabulous dog.  Expecting #1 in August 2012!!!!

 

 
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Old 05-26-2011, 08:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am not normally a baby person, nor am I the type to have baby lust, but I have serious baby lust.  Brilliant.  Everyone around me has suddenly gotten pregnant and I'm actually jealous.  That's a very foreign feeling for me, especially with regards to pregnancy/babies.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by sosurreal09 View Post

I KWYM Jay. DH and I are over some troubled waters right now. He has been under a lot of stress at work and he has been freaking out. He still insists we should "just get pregnant now" but his actions are making me want to wait longer...I certainly can't add another family member if DH can't handle the way it currently is. He has sort of been going through a "quarter life crisis". IDK how to explain it really...


 

I hope things get resolved quickly.

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Old 05-27-2011, 04:42 AM
 
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TY


 Young born-again mama and loving wife peace.gif to DH jammin.gif and SAHP to two crazy girls dust.gifwehomebirth.jpgfly-by-nursing2.gifslinggirl.giffamilybed1.gif and believe gd.giflactivist.gif  signcirc1.gif !

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Old 05-27-2011, 12:41 PM
 
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Well it seems like my "wanting" was maybe something more out of boredom for lack of a better word. Thoughts about having another baby were always around and there was not a day that could go by that I wouldn't think about it. Every time that DF and I were intimate I would think about getting pregnant. Though that still has not gone away I don't think about having another baby as often.

 

I feel so busy with my son's 1st birthday coming up in July and a storm of family birthdays/weddings right before that. I also just took on my first doula client who will most likely be delivering in July so getting pregnant is off my radar...at least for now. I really feel like I need to get my doula business started and work on that for a year. We have been planning on trying next summer  once our son is near 2. I also really want a spring baby so I feel like it would be a perfect time. Considering how fast this year has gone by it seems so crazy to me to be adding to our family in only one year but waiting until 2013 seems too far away. I'm learning to let go of the day, the month, or even the year that we will try, because I feel that it is just setting up myself for disappointment. Just trying to trust that it will happen when it is the right time. 


 Doula mom to Leo [7.11.10] and fiance to Jakefamilybed1.gif

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Old 05-27-2011, 12:42 PM
 
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I was looking for a thread like this! We are WTT, but may switch to TTC #3 soon!

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Old 05-27-2011, 03:03 PM
 
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What is WTT?

 

We may be waiting a whole 'nother year over here. DH didn't get into two of the classes he needs for his major....bawling.gif IDK how we can even LIVE on the income we have been for an extra year. I mean we are ok I guess but we don't have $1 to spend ever and it is REALLY hard especially with DD. We can never go anywhere or do anything and our debt just climbs if we need to buy something "extra". I don't see how we can add a baby to that. It all feels so hopeless. If I get a job there is no one to take care of DD 1st and foremost also then we lose our insurance (commonwealth care, which we pay for but it's subsidized) and our little bit of food stamps. Literally my job would just cover that and then we would be in more debt trying to pay daycare and I would be working for negative pay...This is such a rock and a hard place.


 Young born-again mama and loving wife peace.gif to DH jammin.gif and SAHP to two crazy girls dust.gifwehomebirth.jpgfly-by-nursing2.gifslinggirl.giffamilybed1.gif and believe gd.giflactivist.gif  signcirc1.gif !

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Old 05-27-2011, 03:27 PM
 
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Sosurreal09, WTT is waiting to try. I really hope you can work out the details. You never know. These things sometimes work themselves out, and then somehow we find a way. ;) Hugs!

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Old 05-27-2011, 05:13 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sosurreal09 View Post

What is WTT?

 

We may be waiting a whole 'nother year over here. DH didn't get into two of the classes he needs for his major....bawling.gif IDK how we can even LIVE on the income we have been for an extra year. I mean we are ok I guess but we don't have $1 to spend ever and it is REALLY hard especially with DD. We can never go anywhere or do anything and our debt just climbs if we need to buy something "extra". I don't see how we can add a baby to that. It all feels so hopeless. If I get a job there is no one to take care of DD 1st and foremost also then we lose our insurance (commonwealth care, which we pay for but it's subsidized) and our little bit of food stamps. Literally my job would just cover that and then we would be in more debt trying to pay daycare and I would be working for negative pay...This is such a rock and a hard place.

 

I am so there and totally know how you feel!  DH and and I also full time students and live off of NOTHING!  BUT I will be graduating in a year, which is why we are not trying until this Fall, in which the baby would be due after graduation when things can lighten up a bit.  This is also the reason DH is already 4 and we still don't have another baby!!  Don't worry..time passes whether either way and the wait will eventually be over!!
 

 


Student nurse Mamma to Kaylum (3/01/2007) and wife to computer nerd DH .

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Old 05-29-2011, 05:10 PM
 
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Just checking in.....could I please me moved to waiting till September of 2012 to try? I've decided I'd like my little guy to be ready for preschool before we introduce another baby. We're close a  year now and we finding our balance. I think I'd like to enjoy it for awhile more.

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Old 06-01-2011, 02:22 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sosurreal09 View Post

I KWYM Jay. DH and I are over some troubled waters right now. He has been under a lot of stress at work and he has been freaking out. He still insists we should "just get pregnant now" but his actions are making me want to wait longer...I certainly can't add another family member if DH can't handle the way it currently is. He has sort of been going through a "quarter life crisis". IDK how to explain it really...


Sorry to hear about this.  I understand the work-related stress, as DH and I were dealing with this for several weeks not too long ago, and I totally understand feeling 'not ready' when it comes to TTC because of it.  I hope everything works out with his job, and I also hope that everything works out for the best in terms of TTC (whether you decide to wait or decide to move forward).

 



Quote:
Originally Posted by lakeruby View Post

SweetTea-- I have definitely felt that way!  I realllly want a baby but as soon as my DP says "okay let's go for it" I get cold feet!  I'm sure it will happen for us soon, but right now I'm just trying to enjoy the waiting and check things off of my to-do list.

 

You know, now that I've had a while to think about it, I do think cold feet played a big role in my change of heart.  I think that after such a long time of looking forward to TTC, and seeing it as this far off event, it was startling and scary to look at the calendar and start seeing our TTC date looming larger and larger on the horizon.  Neither he nor I have ever done this before -- this would be our first child.

 

As an update on where we are right now, DH and I have talked about all this at length several times this week.  We've now decided to not move on to TTC, at least not officially, but instead to no longer prevent.  Our rationale is that we've been a couple for a long time, and we've discussed why this summer is the best time to start trying for years prior to now.  At the same time, we both know intuitively that we'll always be able to come up with dozens and dozens of reasons why we should wait to try another week, month, year, and if we wait for the stars to line up perfectly and everything to be totally in place, we'll never get around to TTC.  At the same time, we both agree that there is no rush to start temping and charting and using OPKs -- we can take a more relaxed approach and just not prevent and see what happens.  We'd be happy to have a few more months alone, but we'd also be thrilled if we get a BFP.  I for one feel so much relief about this decision:  technically we're not 'waiting' but we aren't doing too much more than we have been doing to 'try.'  I'm charting, but mostly just to keep an eye on CM and so I know when to expect my period (days go by before I even remember to update).  My BB thermometer is still packed up, and I plan to leave it where it is for the foreseeable future.

Quote:
Originally Posted by zenmumajen View Post

Well it seems like my "wanting" was maybe something more out of boredom for lack of a better word. Thoughts about having another baby were always around and there was not a day that could go by that I wouldn't think about it. Every time that DF and I were intimate I would think about getting pregnant. Though that still has not gone away I don't think about having another baby as often.

 

I feel so busy with my son's 1st birthday coming up in July and a storm of family birthdays/weddings right before that. I also just took on my first doula client who will most likely be delivering in July so getting pregnant is off my radar...at least for now. I really feel like I need to get my doula business started and work on that for a year. We have been planning on trying next summer  once our son is near 2. I also really want a spring baby so I feel like it would be a perfect time. Considering how fast this year has gone by it seems so crazy to me to be adding to our family in only one year but waiting until 2013 seems too far away. I'm learning to let go of the day, the month, or even the year that we will try, because I feel that it is just setting up myself for disappointment. Just trying to trust that it will happen when it is the right time. 

That's exciting that you've got your first client.  Looks like your business if officially off to a great start, and I hope everything goes smoothly for you and your client.  I also appreciate your last sentiment about letting go of the specifics of when to try.  That's sort of where DH and I are right now -- trying to take so much of the 'planning' and analyzing out of this whole thing because it's just getting to stressful to think about.  I wish you guys luck in the future, whenever you start TTC.

Quote:
Originally Posted by tellmemore View Post

I was looking for a thread like this! We are WTT, but may switch to TTC #3 soon!

 

Welcome to the thread!

 

 

 

I guess I am going to take a step back from this thread for awhile.  I feel like I'm sort of in a limbo right now -- not WBW, but not actively trying (ie, temping, using OPKs, or aiming for specific days to do the do) either.  I don't want to annoy anyone who is still truly waiting because I know how frustrating it can be to hear updates from people who say they're waiting, but who I feel are pretty much TTC, whether they choose to call it that or not.  I really really appreciate how supportive everyone has been.  Also, who knows, I could very well be back, because if I've learn anything in the last couple months, this whole decision making process is pretty fluid, and I'm giving myself every right to change my mind at any time. 


I'm Jay, 30, married to DH, 31. Fell in love in 2003, married since 2010.
Our little guy makes three! #1 born Dec 2012 Soon to be a family of four! #2 due Jun 2015

A little of this, a little of that.


Mostly just trusting our gut and doing things our way.
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Old 06-01-2011, 07:23 PM
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Things went well at the dentist today.  We are also no longer waiting.  Best wishes to all of you as you move towards TTC.

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Old 06-03-2011, 09:14 AM
 
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just checkin in with you ladies - how are things?

 

AFM: If all goes well (DH passes his exams - we find out this month!) only 3 cycles until we TTC!  I downloaded a new app called iPeriod to better track and I am thinking about charting since I seem to be all over the place with my average cycle (25-28 days and it is different every month). 

 

I've never charted - is it easy? time consuming?

 

Also are everyone's cycles a little different each month or like clockwork - how do you think that affected your fertility?


me (30) and my prince charming (25) living happily ever after and expecting our first little nug baby.gif in june/july 2012

 

* * * 4 * * * 8 * * * 12 * * * 16 * * heartbeat.gif 20 * * * 24 * * * 28 * * * 32 * * * 36 * * * 40

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Old 06-03-2011, 07:48 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahfaith View Post

just checkin in with you ladies - how are things?

 

AFM: If all goes well (DH passes his exams - we find out this month!) only 3 cycles until we TTC!  I downloaded a new app called iPeriod to better track and I am thinking about charting since I seem to be all over the place with my average cycle (25-28 days and it is different every month). 

 

I've never charted - is it easy? time consuming?

 

Also are everyone's cycles a little different each month or like clockwork - how do you think that affected your fertility?

 

Try this website: http://www.fertilityfriend.com/  It makes tracking so much easier.  Plus, when you sign up you can opt for lessons that are sent to you through email.  The basic package is free and that's all I use.  I don't think I'd have any idea what was happening in my body if it weren't for this place.  Congrats on getting closer!  I think I'm about 3-4 cycles away as well now too!


Student nurse Mamma to Kaylum (3/01/2007) and wife to computer nerd DH .

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Old 06-05-2011, 04:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by tellmemore View Post

I was looking for a thread like this! We are WTT, but may switch to TTC #3 soon!


Welcome!   flowersforyou.gif

 

I've listed you under "A Little Bit Longer".  Let me know if you have a specific time frame in mind and I will move you. 

 



Quote:
Originally Posted by Hannah32 View Post

Just checking in.....could I please me moved to waiting till September of 2012 to try? I've decided I'd like my little guy to be ready for preschool before we introduce another baby. We're close a  year now and we finding our balance. I think I'd like to enjoy it for awhile more.


I've moved you to September 2012.



Quote:
Originally Posted by JMJ View Post

Things went well at the dentist today.  We are also no longer waiting.  Best wishes to all of you as you move towards TTC.



Congrats!  smile.gif  How exciting!  I have moved you to "Starting Now". 



Quote:
Originally Posted by sarahfaith View Post

just checkin in with you ladies - how are things?

 

AFM: If all goes well (DH passes his exams - we find out this month!) only 3 cycles until we TTC!  I downloaded a new app called iPeriod to better track and I am thinking about charting since I seem to be all over the place with my average cycle (25-28 days and it is different every month). 

 

I've never charted - is it easy? time consuming?

 

Also are everyone's cycles a little different each month or like clockwork - how do you think that affected your fertility?


I have charted for a while and it isn't time consuming.  I take my temperature every morning (DP wakes me up with the beep of the thermometer) and then enter it into my chart on Fertility Friend.  I use the free service; it's quick and easy.  I really like knowing where I am in my cycle and I like knowing I'm having a regular cycle.  I think if you're starting to TTC in three months, you should start charting now so you know what your normal pattern is.  smile.gif

 

I often ovulate on the same day every month, but it isn't always the case.  For example, my normal ovulation day is CD16, but this month I ovulated on CD19.  I think it was due to extensive traveling, but it was really nice to pin-point the day.  I had ovulation pains, so I thought I was ovulating and based upon my chart, I was.  As for whether you always O on the same day, I can't remember what I read in Taking Charge of Your Fertility, but I think the author states that you should have the same luteal phase time frame, within a day or two.  Again, you'll see what your normal is once you start charting a couple of months.

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Old 06-07-2011, 02:34 AM
 
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Please put me in for "A Little Bit Longer"

 

I'm waiting to graduate before I start making calls for available baby batter donors :)


Signatures are sooo mainstream.

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Old 06-07-2011, 09:48 PM
 
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Hello, I would like to be added to September 2011. 

 

We have been TTC since 12/10 so we are obviously wanting shy.gif During that 5 1/2 months I have only managed to ovulate twice and I'm obviously not pg. 2 weeks ago I began treatment with an acupuncturist/tcm and have learned that my body is definitely not ready to be pg right now. She said give her 3 months. During which I was fantasizing we could NTNP and maybe end up with a "surprise". Well, today, CD43 still no ovulation, period, or pregnancy, she did the points to trigger menstruation and hopefully get me on my way to "normal" cycles. She also asked that we prevent and give my body the next 3 months to come to balance and be in healthy place to start a pregnancy. Surprisingly, I think I am actually kind of looking forward to the break and really looking forward to possibly an "easier" pregnancy because of the work I am putting in now. So, we are taking her advice and waiting. She also asked that I stop temping because it was really stressing me out! So I have. I'm still going to monitor CM and cervix but I really don't know how my body is going to respond to the treatments. But I'm excited to find out! I'm really feeling positive (today!) about this wait but I know it's going to be a day by day thing and that I'm going to need support. I really need to keep busy these next 3 months! First on my list of things to do is finally buy a Diva cup smile.gif


Married to my love stillheart.gif, Mommy to W ('09) homebirth.jpg and Doula.

 brokenheart.gifbrokenheart.gif God has answered our prayers & we welcomed our baby girl earth side 11/24/13 h20homebirth.gif

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Old 06-08-2011, 09:40 AM
 
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Hello, I would like to be added to late 2011. thanks

 

i thought i would be here so much sooner  because  i have been ready for more than a year and have been waiting for DH to be ready too. He is ready, or will be by then :) I am so excited to have a time frame!!


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Old 06-08-2011, 12:09 PM
 
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bump me to August 2011

 


 


Denise, Mama to DS1 (7) and DD1 (5) and new baby due June 2012!

 
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Old 06-09-2011, 12:04 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dacks View Post

Please put me in for "A Little Bit Longer"

 

I'm waiting to graduate before I start making calls for available baby batter donors :)


You have been moved.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by SilaMarila View Post

Hello, I would like to be added to September 2011. 

 

We have been TTC since 12/10 so we are obviously wanting shy.gif During that 5 1/2 months I have only managed to ovulate twice and I'm obviously not pg. 2 weeks ago I began treatment with an acupuncturist/tcm and have learned that my body is definitely not ready to be pg right now. She said give her 3 months. During which I was fantasizing we could NTNP and maybe end up with a "surprise". Well, today, CD43 still no ovulation, period, or pregnancy, she did the points to trigger menstruation and hopefully get me on my way to "normal" cycles. She also asked that we prevent and give my body the next 3 months to come to balance and be in healthy place to start a pregnancy. Surprisingly, I think I am actually kind of looking forward to the break and really looking forward to possibly an "easier" pregnancy because of the work I am putting in now. So, we are taking her advice and waiting. She also asked that I stop temping because it was really stressing me out! So I have. I'm still going to monitor CM and cervix but I really don't know how my body is going to respond to the treatments. But I'm excited to find out! I'm really feeling positive (today!) about this wait but I know it's going to be a day by day thing and that I'm going to need support. I really need to keep busy these next 3 months! First on my list of things to do is finally buy a Diva cup smile.gif

You have been moved.  Welcome!  I hope your treatments work and that you are not waiting too much longer.  dust.gif



Quote:
Originally Posted by natty529 View Post

Hello, I would like to be added to late 2011. thanks

 

i thought i would be here so much sooner  because  i have been ready for more than a year and have been waiting for DH to be ready too. He is ready, or will be by then :) I am so excited to have a time frame!!


I have added you. 


 

Quote:
Originally Posted by bodhicitta3 View Post

bump me to August 2011

 


 


I have moved you to August 2011.

 

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Old 06-09-2011, 04:17 PM
 
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Got my IUD out today so I guess you can remove me. I am in TTC while nursing now!


 Young born-again mama and loving wife peace.gif to DH jammin.gif and SAHP to two crazy girls dust.gifwehomebirth.jpgfly-by-nursing2.gifslinggirl.giffamilybed1.gif and believe gd.giflactivist.gif  signcirc1.gif !

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Old 06-10-2011, 03:12 AM
 
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Well, I'm sad and heartbroken to say it, but take me out of the running completely....

 

My husband decided last night, that he didn't want the stress of having a baby, doesn't want the stress of trying and doesn't want to not try, not prevent. He wants us to wait an additional year or two. I'm absolutely heartbroken.

Everything we had talked about, everything I had hoped for, everything in general was for nothing. He's completely destroyed my hopes and quite honestly, he doesn't seem to worried about it. We had a big argument last night because I had talked about maybe trying earlier (Aug, Sept, Oct)... he flat out refused, then flip flopped and then finally said yes. He was so angry though and eventually freaked out at me and told me how 'used' and 'pressured' he feels... We hadn't talked about changing the date for quite some time, so I didn't really understand. Eventually we got to the point where he said he wasn't ready and didn't want one right now, but he'd do it to make me happy... even though he wouldn't be. 

 

I couldn't agree to that!!! All I wanted was to start a family with someone I love, but he seems to think I want a baby like I want a dog or something! I was appalled and disgusted. This isn't something you agree to because you want to keep somebody happy, it's something both partners should be excited and anxious and ready for. I dunno.... all I can say is that I'm completely heartbroken and feel emotionally empty right now.... I can't believe this.


Lost our first to ectopic...

angel.gif August 19th, 2011 angel.gif

 

Lost our second to an early miscarriage...

angel.gif February 14th, 2012 angel.gif

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Old 06-10-2011, 06:08 AM
 
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Oh no Colta! I am so sorry you are going through that? How old is your DH? What do you think he is afraid of? This *may* be less of a I don't want a baby thing and more of a fear thing. Did he have a rough child hood? Does he have friends he is no longer close with b/c of a baby?

 

There is just so much to it emotionally for a man...it can be challenging. I know DH wasn't very bonded with DD until she was like 9 m/o. She was a surprise pregnancy but still I was ticked off. He said he wasn't ready for any of this and blah blah blah. He basically abandoned me the whole pregnancy (we weren't married yet). In the end it all worked out but we had lots of heartache before it got better. So obviously it is better to have him on board from the start...


 Young born-again mama and loving wife peace.gif to DH jammin.gif and SAHP to two crazy girls dust.gifwehomebirth.jpgfly-by-nursing2.gifslinggirl.giffamilybed1.gif and believe gd.giflactivist.gif  signcirc1.gif !

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Old 06-10-2011, 11:51 AM
 
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Coltahug2.gif I hope you and your DH are able to come to an agreement soon. I can't imagine how you must feel and can't find any words that might make it better. In the end I hope this makes the two of you stronger and a better team so you may move forward and work together for the things you want. For now he is the family you have. I encourage you to cling together and embrace your moments and time with him rather than fantasize about dwell on the family you don't have.


Married to my love stillheart.gif, Mommy to W ('09) homebirth.jpg and Doula.

 brokenheart.gifbrokenheart.gif God has answered our prayers & we welcomed our baby girl earth side 11/24/13 h20homebirth.gif

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Old 06-10-2011, 06:48 PM
 
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Well... thanks to everyone who gave me their support. This has been a very trying time for me and my relationship, but things are beginning to look up.



My husband and I sat down and had a very long talk about what is important to us and what we need to do right now to make things good and happy between the two of us. So, we've decided together and with no concessions on either side to not start trying until next June-July. I'm not really to keen on waiting so long, but... I also got something out of this too. Me and DH have finally decided to agree, 100%, that we will be not preventing and not trying any more. I'm more than happy to have that. We've made some 'rules' that we're going to follow so that we stay true to the whole idea of NTNP. DH feels that this is not trying enough to keep him happy and if we happen to become pregnant, we'll both be happy.

 So that being said, I'm happy... I still have a chance of becoming pregnant each month and he gets to have some control......... so things are much better, thanks again for all your support!


Lost our first to ectopic...

angel.gif August 19th, 2011 angel.gif

 

Lost our second to an early miscarriage...

angel.gif February 14th, 2012 angel.gif

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