Wanting But Waiting Tribe - 2011 - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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#61 of 505 Old 01-30-2011, 08:44 AM
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Our neighbors came over tonight and asked us when/if we were planning number two. I found it so hard to describe all my reasons and feelings about waiting, and when, etc. Why does it seem that other people always want to know your baby status?



I get that a lot too.  It's hard when you want to but can't yet, and it's nobody's business.

 

I had another 8 day LP.  Another month of wanting but waiting.

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#62 of 505 Old 01-30-2011, 12:23 PM
 
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I'd like to join in this thread; it feels like the right time and place for me. I haven't posted much here on MDC since my pregnancy with DS (who is now a healthy, happy, wonderful 20 month old), but within the last couple of months I've started yearning for a second baby, and I've started lurking here again. DS is a fairly normal toddler--he drives me crazy some days and delights me the rest of the time--but he's getting so "big" in my eyes and I'd love for him to have a sibling.

 

Like some others have mentioned here, the fact that he's still nursing (and quite a bit at that, especially at night) is one of the major concerns I have in getting pregnant right now. Last month I thought I might be pregnant; I have to say I had very mixed feelings when AF arrived last week. It wasn't a miscarriage, but I can identify with the feeling of mourning the baby that was never there, although I'm pretty philosophical about it, too.

 

We don't have a concrete plan for when we'll TTC. I know we *should* wait until DS is two--that's been my goal for awhile--for his sake. But as others have observed, it seems like all of my friends are expecting or trying right now. We're still settling in after a cross-country move away from family and friends, though, and that's another good reason to wait.

 

I'm trying to chart my fertility but I'm also finding temping challenging with a cosleeping, night-nursing toddler. I should head over to the CTA thread next and ask a question that I've been wondering about for a long time--everyone says you should temp at the same time in the morning, but what about varying bedtimes? Is it the number of hours of sleep you get that determines BBT, or the time you take your temp?

 

Anyway, hugs to all of you who are also wanting and waiting. Here's hoping for BFPs for all of us when the time is right (even if we don't know when that is)!


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#63 of 505 Old 01-30-2011, 02:31 PM
 
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Originally Posted by trauerweidchen View Post

I'd like to join in this thread; it feels like the right time and place for me. I haven't posted much here on MDC since my pregnancy with DS (who is now a healthy, happy, wonderful 20 month old), but within the last couple of months I've started yearning for a second baby, and I've started lurking here again. DS is a fairly normal toddler--he drives me crazy some days and delights me the rest of the time--but he's getting so "big" in my eyes and I'd love for him to have a sibling.

 

Like some others have mentioned here, the fact that he's still nursing (and quite a bit at that, especially at night) is one of the major concerns I have in getting pregnant right now. Last month I thought I might be pregnant; I have to say I had very mixed feelings when AF arrived last week. It wasn't a miscarriage, but I can identify with the feeling of mourning the baby that was never there, although I'm pretty philosophical about it, too.

 

We don't have a concrete plan for when we'll TTC. I know we *should* wait until DS is two--that's been my goal for awhile--for his sake. But as others have observed, it seems like all of my friends are expecting or trying right now. We're still settling in after a cross-country move away from family and friends, though, and that's another good reason to wait.

 

I'm trying to chart my fertility but I'm also finding temping challenging with a cosleeping, night-nursing toddler. I should head over to the CTA thread next and ask a question that I've been wondering about for a long time--everyone says you should temp at the same time in the morning, but what about varying bedtimes? Is it the number of hours of sleep you get that determines BBT, or the time you take your temp?

 

Anyway, hugs to all of you who are also wanting and waiting. Here's hoping for BFPs for all of us when the time is right (even if we don't know when that is)!

 

My 22 month old DD still nurses at night too and I recently asked questions on the CTA and the Nursing and TTC forums. There were tons of responses that were super helpful.

 

From the advice, what I've been doing is I try to take my temp at 7. If DD wakes soon to that (like 6-6:30) to nurse, I'll take my temp then and add .1 degree F for every half hour I am before 7. If she wakes within 3 hours (because the rule is at least 5 hours of sleep and 3 solid hours before temping) before I wake, I note it in my chart. I'm recently off hormonal BC so my chart is a bit screwy to begin with, but I definitely see a pattern. I try to focus on the pattern rather than the day-by-day.

 

I've also been checking my CM and CP. CP isn't required for FAM, but I like the extra assurance since my temps are kind of funky. I would definitely suggest reading TCOYF,


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#64 of 505 Old 01-30-2011, 07:28 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by youngspiritmom View Post

Our neighbors came over tonight and asked us when/if we were planning number two. I found it so hard to describe all my reasons and feelings about waiting, and when, etc. Why does it seem that other people always want to know your baby status?

 

it wore me out, when dd  was 2 or 3 and i was still adjusting....people asking all the time when will you have another, offering unsolicited advice.  i kept telling myself that only dh and i could decide, and every family is different.  but it was wearing. 

 

when dd was 5, people in my family were vocally assuming i was done--my mom even said i probably could only handle one anyhow.  that was frustrating to hear!

 

while i know it's only me who can decide, it is hard to cope with the pressure from outside.
 


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#65 of 505 Old 02-01-2011, 06:51 AM
 
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Woo hoo!  The end of waiting is in sight for us!  We are getting married in October and plan to start trying either right before or after the wedding.  I would definitely start trying before, but I tend to be a stresser and have a feeling that the month leading up to the wedding will be hard on me, so I don't want that energy affecting conception.  I am REALLY excited to finally have an end date to our waiting, though!

 

To prepare, I'm seeing a TCM (traditional chinese medicine) doctor who specializes in helping people be at their most healthy and fertile for conception, and also setting up regular massage and craniosacral therapy appointments to help me relax and feel great.  Also committing to doing yog and walking most days, and trying to eat well.


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#66 of 505 Old 02-01-2011, 07:19 AM
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I would like to recommend a book to all you pre-TTCers.  "Real Food For Mother and Baby" by Nina Planck is about how to get the nutrients you need from nutrient-rich foods starting with pre-conception and continuing through pregnancy, breastfeeding, and introducing solids to your little one.  It's what I'm using for my pre-conception diet plan.

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#67 of 505 Old 02-01-2011, 07:41 AM
 
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I want to join! We are waiting until at least fall. We have an almost 16 m/o right now and she will be 2 in sept. She is hardcore nursing still, but AF never left me! right after she was born bam regular cycles.

I have an IUD right now but I want it out! We are planning to wait until DH gets into a program at his school. Then he can get a better job. I don't think infancy is expensive, but I think the older they get the more they cost and don't want to have too many kids before DH has a set career.


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#68 of 505 Old 02-01-2011, 04:05 PM
 
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Thanks for the suggestions, lactatinggirl! I've owned a copy of TCOYF for a couple of years now; it's a fantastic book. I've just always been sort of geeky-curious about the physiological basis for the timing of basal body temperature taking. I should go back to TCOYF and see if I can answer my own question.

 

I have a copy of "The Fertility Diet" that my mom got me right before we got pregnant with DS; I should really read that too. That's the nice thing about planning ahead--being able to get your body ready for pregnancy as best you can. :)

 


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#69 of 505 Old 02-02-2011, 06:32 AM
 
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I still need to lose the baby weight from DD lol Now I at least have a reason to do it besides for myself (which never seems to be enough for me)


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#70 of 505 Old 02-02-2011, 09:29 AM
 
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I just got this book!  I really like it so far.  I'm also checking out "Healing Our Children."

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by JMJ View Post

I would like to recommend a book to all you pre-TTCers.  "Real Food For Mother and Baby" by Nina Planck is about how to get the nutrients you need from nutrient-rich foods starting with pre-conception and continuing through pregnancy, breastfeeding, and introducing solids to your little one.  It's what I'm using for my pre-conception diet plan.




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#71 of 505 Old 02-02-2011, 05:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I would like to recommend a book to all you pre-TTCers.  "Real Food For Mother and Baby" by Nina Planck is about how to get the nutrients you need from nutrient-rich foods starting with pre-conception and continuing through pregnancy, breastfeeding, and introducing solids to your little one.  It's what I'm using for my pre-conception diet plan.



Are you able to share some of the core points of the book?  Is it focused on overall nutrition, high protein, vegetarian foods, etc.?

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#72 of 505 Old 02-03-2011, 12:56 PM
 
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 Hi guys!  I have been MIA because if I talk too much about how excited/anxious/scared I am to TTC #2 then I get even more excited/anxious/scared!  It's a vicious cycle.  DH and I talked last week and revised the plan.  DH had originally wanted to have a spring baby (I know, I know, I try to explain to him that it's not that easy just to decide what he wants and it happens) but I explained to him that we might have to TTC for a long time and we should start sooner rather than later.  We would prefer DS to be 3 before the birth of #2 so our first cycle trying will be Dec/Jan.  Having a cycle to start makes me feel better. 

 

On a separate note re: temping, waking up with DC's and nursing...  Does anyone have a BBT thermometer that records the temp and time?  DS still gets up to nurse and I stopped looking at the clock to see what time(s) long ago to preserve my sanity.  I'm thinking that there's usually a nurse around 5 when I could temp and then sleep a little more (maybe) without screwing up the calculations.  This would all be contingent on not having to look at the clock though.  Does this make any sense?  Wow!  Remind me not to try to post from work before the p.m. cup of coffee...I'm barely coherent! 


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#73 of 505 Old 02-03-2011, 01:00 PM
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Quote:
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I would like to recommend a book to all you pre-TTCers.  "Real Food For Mother and Baby" by Nina Planck is about how to get the nutrients you need from nutrient-rich foods starting with pre-conception and continuing through pregnancy, breastfeeding, and introducing solids to your little one.  It's what I'm using for my pre-conception diet plan.



Are you able to share some of the core points of the book?  Is it focused on overall nutrition, high protein, vegetarian foods, etc.?


It follows a Traditional Foods philosophy, getting nutrients from real, whole foods prepared in the ways that maximize the absorption of nutrients.  It focuses on good fats instead of low fat.  Many of the richest sources of certain nutrients (such as zinc, which is important for fertility especially for men) are animal products, so this is not a vegetarian book.  Vegetarian + seafood would work fine with her philosophy, but she encourages meat as well.  She encourages raw milk, grassfed/pastured meat and eggs, sustainably caught seafood, lots of veggies, traditional fats, and soaked/fermented grains, nuts, and beans.

 

Then, she applies this to fertility, pregnancy, breastfeeding, and weaning.  She notes which nutrients are needed at each stage and gives you ideas on which whole foods you could eat to get those nutrients.  She also explains what foods were traditionally given in various cultures to newlyweds (fertility), pregnant and nursing mothers, and as weaning foods to show how many traditional cultures knew that foods containing certain important nutrients were important for various functions even before the scientific research that we now have about important nutrients.

 

I would recommend it to anyone looking to get nutrients from food instead of supplements.  I really think a vegetarian would benefit from a lot of the information as well and just choose the vegetarian options.  She does make some statements that a vegetarian would likely find quite offensive.  She is opposed to raising children vegetarian.

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#74 of 505 Old 02-03-2011, 08:55 PM
 
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OK so i want to bring this up because i keep thinking about it and want to know if you ladies do too.....so currently since we are not ttc, we are using condoms/birth control every time we ddt. but i keep thinking about when we decide that ok, we want to conceive now, how awkward it is going to be to have sex with no birth control. i feel like im not going to even be enjoying that intimate time, im just going to be thinking the whole time -- oh my gosh what if i am getting pregnant right now -- its going to freak me out i think

 

any others

 

ps sorry there is no capitalization or punctuation in this post the computer i am on has a broken keyboard lol


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#75 of 505 Old 02-04-2011, 06:43 AM
 
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well I personally hate condoms so I will be enjoying it as usual lol. I am getting my IUD out tues b/c I think I am having complications with it. So we will be using condoms again (which we haven't used in like 5 yrs) I am pretty sure I will hate them just as much!


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#76 of 505 Old 02-04-2011, 08:52 AM
 
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I got my IUD out on Tuesday and we have been using condoms again. Honestly, I think they feel weird and there are so many different ones now it's impossible to choose. I can't wait until we are TTC again so that we don't have to worry about all that stuff.


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#77 of 505 Old 02-04-2011, 09:48 AM
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In my limited experience, TTC is very, very intimate and enjoyable.  We use NFP without condoms anyway, so we know exactly when we're likely to be conceiving a child right now.  It's like you're giving another whole dimension of yourself to your husband.  It's a little scary because once the deed is done, there's no going back.  It's real, but the times we have TTC have been some of the best times in our marriage.  Very exciting!

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#78 of 505 Old 02-04-2011, 12:23 PM
 
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We are currently using condoms and watching my fertile signals together.  I hate condoms and am also very excited to be TTC (and then pregnant) so we don't have to use them.  We conceived very easily, thankfully, with our first so I have limited TTC sex experience.  I think that because you have sex more often (at least we did!) and multiple times during your fertile window while TTC, there wasn't a certain time that I thought "We're conceiving RIGHT NOW" and freaked out.  I thought about it more as trying to build up a lot of love and have us both be spiritually together in an open place to welcome children.  Does that make any sense? 


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#79 of 505 Old 02-04-2011, 05:40 PM
 
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I think the first time hubby and I do the do without any protection at all, i will be cheesing and grinning and my heart will probably be doing jumping jacks the whole time and afterward (which means he'll probably be looking and laughing at me like im a loon lol). I probably wont be able to quantify how excited/scared/anxious I would be.  I dream of the day (or night) when we first get to try like that. :)


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#80 of 505 Old 02-05-2011, 06:53 AM
 
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Wow, you ladies are having cycles and such again. I'm a little envious. I was thinking the other day that if I want to conceive this fall, there should be some indication of my cycle coming back, shouldn't there? Well, it's not. I haven't had a period since Sept of 09. My baby is sleeping from about 6 to about 3-4 am too. Nothing yet. 

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#81 of 505 Old 02-05-2011, 07:54 AM
 
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Well Hannah I am jealous of you as well! I wish I even had 6 stinkin months without AF! Not with my luck!

 

My friend conceived without getting AF back by surprise, so you never know.


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#82 of 505 Old 02-05-2011, 10:29 AM
 
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DD2 is now 16 months old. still no af. i think DD1 was 21 mo when i got preg with DD2. will it really take that long again? arrgh. lol. i would love to get pregnant in late april early may. i quit temping for now. it feels easier than sitting here and scrutinizing every days temps.

 

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#83 of 505 Old 02-05-2011, 12:30 PM
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Wow, you ladies are having cycles and such again. I'm a little envious. I was thinking the other day that if I want to conceive this fall, there should be some indication of my cycle coming back, shouldn't there? Well, it's not. I haven't had a period since Sept of 09. My baby is sleeping from about 6 to about 3-4 am too. Nothing yet. 


That would make your baby about 7 months old?  Don't worry about a thing.  I didn't have a period until my baby was almost 21 months old, though she never slept that long through the night.  It will happen.

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#84 of 505 Old 02-05-2011, 03:33 PM
 
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You only have a 7 m/o and you want another one already?! lol

 

My DD was born Sept 09 and shes not sleeping as good as your 7 m/o! She still wants milk like every 2-4hrs day and night.


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#85 of 505 Old 02-05-2011, 04:00 PM
 
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What can I say? I think we're hitting our stride. Plus, I'm not getting any younger. 

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#86 of 505 Old 02-06-2011, 06:06 AM
 
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LOL


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#87 of 505 Old 02-06-2011, 06:14 AM
 
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Hi ladies.  I've been lurking around for the past couple of weeks and I've decided I'd like to join if that's okay :)    I'm 26 and DH is 31 and we are wanting at least one more child before we call it quits completely!  DD#1 is 7 (she's from my first marriage) and DD#2 will be 9 weeks old tomorrow.  I'm wanting another one but know that I need to at least wait until the youngest is at least 9 mo to a year old before we start actually "TRYING" so we've set a date of September 6th, 2011 as our start date on ttc! DD#2 will be exactly 9 months old that day!  I'm still waiting on my first PPAF to come around but still no luck!  I did BF for two weeks before having to switch DD over to formula so that could be what is delaying me (seeing as one of my friends had a baby 11 days after I had mine and she's already had her first PPAF...but i know each woman is different!!!)  

 

 

Could i please be placed under SEPTEMEBER 2011?


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#88 of 505 Old 02-09-2011, 01:33 PM
 
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Hi beautiful mamas,

 

So, I just read through the thread, please bear with my long post and please at least read the beginning because I need advice. So some replies but first I've got some updates and a question for all of you Mamas who already have two or more.....

 

1. So DH didn't get the job abroad (which I am very happy about but he is bummed) so I think things are going to be more stable here this year.

2. Next, I applied to an online masters pre-req program for a career that I am very excited about: becoming an SLP (speech language pathologist/therapist). I'm so glad I decided to apply, and sooooo excited to start! The classes start in June! thumbsup.gif I will have to complete this program and then a masters degree after that. This program is 6 credits (half time) all online, for 4 semesters (summer, fall, spring, summer). I really want to become an SLP and want to work when all our kids are in school. However.....

 

I also want to have conceive a baby in 2011. My DS is 2 next week. We would like around a 3 year spacing....so here's what I'm thinking:

 

- a 2yr 10 month spacing would mean #2 would be conceived in March, born in December (halfway though the program with half left)

- a 3yr 3mo spacing would mean #2 would be conceived in August, born in May (one summer semester left)

- a 3.5 yr spacing would mean #2 would be conceived in Nov/Dec, born in August (right after program ends)......obviously this is if we conceive/no premie baby etc.

 

My big questions are: Am I crazy for deciding to be preg. with a toddler while in school (albeit half time and online)? Will I be able to do school commitments after #2 is born -- and our family is adjusting to newborn and toddler? I really don't like the 3.5 yr spacing (seems too far for me) but I also want to be able to do well in school and enjoy my second baby and pregnancy (since I had an OK 1st pregnancy and very sad, traumatic experience for about 4 months after my birth). I'm afraid that I will have a negative, overwhelming experience and not be able to juggle it all. I really want to pursue this career, and also want a relatively close spacing for our kids......confused.gif Give me your advice from those who have been there
 

Onto the replies....

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by BeanSprout Mama View Post

Does anybody already have baby names picked out?  I'm already thinking and making decisions. DH won't discuss it yet, but I've got my favorites. Anybody else?


Yes, I think of names continually! We like Michael, Hannah, and Aya.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by JMJ View Post

In my limited experience, TTC is very, very intimate and enjoyable. It's like you're giving another whole dimension of yourself to your husband.  It's a little scary because once the deed is done, there's no going back.  It's real, but the times we have TTC have been some of the best times in our marriage.  Very exciting!

 

This is a nice perspective. My DH and I are a little far apart lately because he has a lot of school and work commitments, but this sounds beautiful. I just hope DH will see it this way....he tends to be very nanchalant about things (even about having another baby), he's just a calm go with the flow person, and I can't help but wonder if it will be like any other time when we do it.....
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by dicksonley View Post I think that because you have sex more often (at least we did!) and multiple times during your fertile window while TTC, there wasn't a certain time that I thought "We're conceiving RIGHT NOW" and freaked out.  I thought about it more as trying to build up a lot of love and have us both be spiritually together in an open place to welcome children.  Does that make any sense? 

 

LOL we go entire cycles without DTD.....mainly because DH works/school until 10pm and usually I am asleep.....maybe we can aspire to your beautiful "build up a lot of love" approach twins.gif

And I love the idea that being in a love cycle makes you spiritually together in order to welcome children. I've never experienced this because DS was not planned....so we've never had this beautiful conception love sex you're all talking about.....so something to look forward to!

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brown Lioness View Post

I think the first time hubby and I do the do without any protection at all, i will be cheesing and grinning and my heart will probably be doing jumping jacks the whole time and afterward (which means he'll probably be looking and laughing at me like im a loon lol). I probably wont be able to quantify how excited/scared/anxious I would be.  I dream of the day (or night) when we first get to try like that. :)


This is so cute, Brown Lioness. I think it really shows how much love you have to give to your baby! I had a very hard time coping with finding out I was pregnant the first time, so I hope that the second time I an feel as giddy and positive as you do. Your words are my inspiration! love.gif

 

OK mamas, thanks for reading!! Love to you all


Mothering my sweet preschool boy luxlove.gif and my new arrival bfinfant.gif

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#89 of 505 Old 02-10-2011, 11:59 AM
 
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youngspiritmom - I would vote for the 3 yr and up spacing.  Having most of the program done seems better to me and maybe having just one semester left will motivate you to finish the semester and put yourself out there for jobs or networking.  Are you looking to use the degree right away or is it something to have in your pocket for when the kids are older?  If you aren't going to use it right away, then maybe leaving more of the program to finish might work better on your resume?  There's also the consideration that it will take longer to conceive that you might think (this is the one that keeps me up at night) throwing everything off anyway.  Congrats on getting into the program you wanted! 

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#90 of 505 Old 02-10-2011, 10:08 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dicksonley View Post Are you looking to use the degree right away or is it something to have in your pocket for when the kids are older?  If you aren't going to use it right away, then maybe leaving more of the program to finish might work better on your resume?
 



I want to get the pre req program done so I can then move onto the masters. I'm not planning to do the masters for a couple of years, but I do want to get this pre req program now so that when I want to do the masters, I can.

 

Thanks for your helpful advice!


Mothering my sweet preschool boy luxlove.gif and my new arrival bfinfant.gif

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