Wanting But Waiting Tribe - 2011 - Page 5 - Mothering Forums

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#121 of 505 Old 02-28-2011, 02:00 PM
 
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Hello All!

 

Welcome to all the new mamas and mamas to be!

 

sosurreal - I gained over 60 lbs with DS and lost it all with his crazy nursing but have now gained at least 15 of it back.  I'm so mad about the lack of pants I have that fit but am stubborn and cheap enough that I refuse to admit defeat and go up a size.  I'm hoping that a summer of gardening and chasing around DS will get me back in a semblance of shape before TTC next year. 

 

belacmsage - Did you catch the O?  I think you might be our first TWW!

 

 

mommyb2nc - We are not trying until Jan 2012 also (I got DH to move up his time frame 3 months) and while it does seem like a long way away now, when I think about the fact that this time next year, we'll be in the thick of it, it doesn't seem too bad.  Three cheers for your DD beating cancer!  Many healthy thoughts for your family!

 

Brighids - Congratulations on all the positive things happening in your life right now!  I was excited to see someone else uses the word 'wonky'!  My friends were just laughing at me this weekend about how often I say it.  I would vote for trying after your honeymoon (or on it if the timing works).  Morning sickness probably won't kick in right away and that way you are totally focused on TTC.  No pre-TTC lists for me but I'm not a list person.   

 

bodhicitta - Yay for empty wombs!  Not something I would usually cheer in TTC circles...

 

justKate - I am keeping everything from DS who is 19 mos.  I figure that even if he is over 3 by the time I give birth to #2 all of the stuff will still be good.  I don't want to spend the money on all the stuff again anyway.  I think the only thing that we will really have to replace is the bucket seat which was a hand-me-down the first time around and is probably well past it's expiration date.  We have plenty of attic storage space though so it's easy to keep things.

 

AFM - I'm close to AF time and starting to get a little cranky.  I never really had many emotional effects from O or AF before DS was born but now I'm all over the map during my cycle.  Sometimes I get very depressed around O and sometimes it's Day 1 and 2 of AF.  Other times, I'm ANGRY and impatient about everything right before AF.  I chalk it all up to EBF and regulating cycles but I've had PPAF back for 9 months now...what gives? 

 

Sorry if I forgot anyone...I'm at work (shhhh) and get easily distracted.


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#122 of 505 Old 02-28-2011, 07:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
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For some reason I added the entire list to this post.  Whoops.  shy.gif

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#123 of 505 Old 03-01-2011, 08:53 AM
 
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I called a midwife yesterday to make initial contact and it made this whole "we're going to be trying this year" thing feel WAY more real. I have a checklist of appointments I want to make (dentist crap.gif, gp, chiropractor), and things I want to do around the house before we start trying, and it's starting to feel like I'm running out of time!! Anyone else making a pre-TTC list?


What kind of medical stuff are you getting done before you start TTC if you don't mind me asking? I feel like I should be doing more to prepare, but I don't know what to do! As for around the house, I don't really have a list that's specifically for TTC, but we have a list of improvements we're doing because we haven't been in this house that long. I suppose I should get all the painting stuff out of the way before TTC, but I can't think of anything else that I can't help with while pregnant (I don't do any of the hard stuff anyway because hubby and my father do it). 



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So excited for everyone who will begin TTC soon!

 

For those who are wanting but waiting more like a year or more to conceive:  Are you keeping all of the stuff?   I mean the baby stuff--like the mobile, the baby tub, the bucket seat, the tiny clothes.  DD is 2 now, and I've got 4 big plastic storage bins of clothing and toys that she's outgrown.  Then there's the bucket seat (it was only a "back up" seat anyway), the tub, the baby toys.  What's left of my maternity clothes.  How do you decide what to keep?  I expect DD to be at least four years old before we TTC.  I'll definitely keep my breast pump and a few outfits and favorite toys, but should I pass the rest on to others?


I went through DD's baby clothes and kept only my most favorite and in best condition clothing. The chances that you have another baby of the same sex at around the same time of year that grows at about the same rate as your current kiddo are slim to none. I also kept all the things I really loved when DD was a baby. For me this meant the jumping seat thing, floor mat, and a few toys. Of course the cloth diapers too. 

 


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#124 of 505 Old 03-01-2011, 01:11 PM
 
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Please add me to the Wanting but Waiting - A Little Bit Longer.

 

Hello mummies.

 

We have 3 kids in the house, SO has two boys from a pervious relationship and I have a DD.

Ivan is turning 10 this month

Viktor is 7 ( turning 8 in June)

Romina is 4 (turning 5 in Sept)

 

We are getting married in October 2011, and I'm finishing my Masters May 2012 at the moment I'm not working and I'm dedicating myself to my masters and the kids. I dont really worry for DD, she's a very independent kid, selfish but independent. We havent talked about havbing a baby with her. I do want to have kids with my SO, we are both in the age LOL I'm 23 and he's 35 and he wants us to have kids before he turns 42. But  I dont see it coming this yer or next so that's why I add myself on the A Little Bit Longer, maybe as soon as I finish my masters or early 2013.

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#125 of 505 Old 03-01-2011, 02:16 PM
 
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dicksonley, Thank you! I'm glad that someone agrees with me on the versatility of the word wonky. I usually get raised eyebrows or a chuckle when I use it, but at least everyone can tell what it means! Thanks for the advice on the honeymoon thing, I'm leaning toward trying on/after as well. If my cycle stays on track (unlikely for me), I should be fertile midway through our trip. Though if I have a cycle like last month I could very well end up honeymooning with AF hopmad.gif

 

lactatinggirl, It's mostly things I've been putting off doing for a while. With being in school full time and working full time (until recently), I haven't been keeping up with yearly appointments. I'm past due for my lady-bits checkup, but I'm waiting to meet with the midwife to get her recommendation of homebirth/natural birth-friendly ob/gyns in the area. I figure I can make my appointment with one of those, start forming a relationship of sorts in case I decide on a birth center birth, or just to have a back-up doc in case i need to do a homebirth transfer. I've had bad experiences with doctors in the past, so I really want to get to know someone and have time to switch in case there are issues, so maybe I'm doing this a bit early? Aside from that, my yearly physical, dental cleaning (and subsequent cavity fillings, I'm sure), and getting some blood tests done. Basically I just want to get my body as ready as possible to be housing a baby. I don't know if there are more things I should be doing, those are just the ones that I'm aware of for me. You make a good point about painting before ttc...I guess I should add that to my list. P.S. I'm a longtime twitter follower/blog reader :)

 

justkate, As far as keeping baby things, I actually recommend keeping outfits that are nasty, stained, etc. When new baby is sick, having blowouts, trying new foods, fingerpainting, any sort of messy activity like that, it's nice to be able to put them in old clothes that you really don't care about. If you have the room for storing them, you might as well save them :)


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#126 of 505 Old 03-02-2011, 06:00 AM
 
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You forgot me!

 

we will be TTC (hopefully) in Sept 2011

 

 


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#127 of 505 Old 03-02-2011, 09:09 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brighids Flame View Post

 

lactatinggirl, It's mostly things I've been putting off doing for a while. With being in school full time and working full time (until recently), I haven't been keeping up with yearly appointments. I'm past due for my lady-bits checkup, but I'm waiting to meet with the midwife to get her recommendation of homebirth/natural birth-friendly ob/gyns in the area. I figure I can make my appointment with one of those, start forming a relationship of sorts in case I decide on a birth center birth, or just to have a back-up doc in case i need to do a homebirth transfer. I've had bad experiences with doctors in the past, so I really want to get to know someone and have time to switch in case there are issues, so maybe I'm doing this a bit early? Aside from that, my yearly physical, dental cleaning (and subsequent cavity fillings, I'm sure), and getting some blood tests done. Basically I just want to get my body as ready as possible to be housing a baby. I don't know if there are more things I should be doing, those are just the ones that I'm aware of for me. You make a good point about painting before ttc...I guess I should add that to my list. P.S. I'm a longtime twitter follower/blog reader :)

 

I should schedule my dental visit for a bit earlier now that I think about it. I think I'm supposed to go back slightly after we plan on TTC and I know I'm supposed to get x-rays and probably fillings this time, so I should definitely take care of it before I could potentially be preggo. Also, yay for blog readers! I think you're the first person on the MDC that's told me that! PM me your Twitter username!


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#128 of 505 Old 03-03-2011, 06:57 PM
 
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Ok I think I should probably join here..maybe Wanting but waiting a bit longer

 

I am a full time nursing student, and DH is also a full time student.  We tried last Fall, as I have a 4 month summer break, and were trying to time it between semesters and DS is now 4 so wanted to bridge the gap a little.  Anyway, tried 4 months, which was 2 months longer than I intended with no success.  Anyway, now we are waiting until next Fall to try again.  I am graduating May 2012, so it should be good to go after Sept.  Last time I think I got a little stressed and obsessed.  This time, I am hoping to just not be careful and take it easier.  We'll see if that really happens when the time comes..

 


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#129 of 505 Old 03-04-2011, 07:55 AM
 
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DP and I had a, uh, mishap earlier this cycle so there was a small chance that I conceived.  I have been feeling tired and nauseous for the last few days so I took a pregnancy test this morning and it was negative.  Even though this is technically a good thing, because realistically it would be more convenient to wait until June, I am feeling pretty down about seeing a bfn. 

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#130 of 505 Old 03-04-2011, 12:04 PM
 
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Please add me to late summer 2011!  I am new to posting to MDC, but I've been a lurker for awhile. Hello everyone! shy.gif

 

DS is 2 1/2, and DH and I have agreed to start trying as soon as my maternity leave is paid back (I borrowed 6 weeks of leave last time) and we have no debt besides a car payment and our mortgage. That puts us sometime in late summer 2011...so it looks like DS and #2 will be about 3.5 years apart. I am very anxious to start trying because many of my friends are pregnant with #2 or 3 so I have been bitten with the baby bug many, many times.  Our reasons for waiting are all financial, but we have to be smart with our money because right now I am the primary income earner but plan to go p/t around the time time we start ttc. I took a long maternity leave with DS (7.5 months) and I want to do at least that with the next baby.

 

Can't wait to get to know all of you!


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#131 of 505 Old 03-04-2011, 12:31 PM
 
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wave.gif  Hi everybody!

 

tinyflame, we're in the same boat.  My DD is 2 now, and i've got the bug but we need to wait for (mostly) financial reasons until early 2012, at least.  My income is necessary and I'm going to be losing (well giving up) my job in May when DH is transferred.  I actually applied for a new job in the new state today, but I doubt they'll offer me the money I'm looking for, if I even get that far.  It would be a great job, though, very good for baby-having. We'll see!

 

atomicrocket, I secretly hope for an oops every month.  Wouldn't do anything to bring it about, but miracles happen....

 


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#132 of 505 Old 03-04-2011, 06:36 PM
 
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Ok I think I should probably join here..maybe Wanting but waiting a bit longer

 

I am a full time nursing student, and DH is also a full time student.  We tried last Fall, as I have a 4 month summer break, and were trying to time it between semesters and DS is now 4 so wanted to bridge the gap a little.  Anyway, tried 4 months, which was 2 months longer than I intended with no success.  Anyway, now we are waiting until next Fall to try again.  I am graduating May 2012, so it should be good to go after Sept.  Last time I think I got a little stressed and obsessed.  This time, I am hoping to just not be careful and take it easier.  We'll see if that really happens when the time comes..

 


I have a similar situation. Sadly, I'm not graduating before I plan on having the next since I'm going part-time now. I'm still planning on {hopefully} giving birth over the summer though. 

 

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DP and I had a, uh, mishap earlier this cycle so there was a small chance that I conceived.  I have been feeling tired and nauseous for the last few days so I took a pregnancy test this morning and it was negative.  Even though this is technically a good thing, because realistically it would be more convenient to wait until June, I am feeling pretty down about seeing a bfn. 


My cycle has been crazy since getting my IUD out so at 51 CD, I keep testing every few days just to make sure. While I'm relieved at the BFN because I know DH wouldn't be happy, it kind of breaks my heart every time. 


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#133 of 505 Old 03-06-2011, 06:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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You forgot me!

 

we will be TTC (hopefully) in Sept 2011

 

 



Sorry, I had you under "Fall"; I've moved you to September.  smile.gif

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#134 of 505 Old 03-07-2011, 05:51 AM
 
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oh I'm sorry I didn't see myself there! That would not be big deal lol


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#135 of 505 Old 03-07-2011, 08:00 AM
 
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My cycle has been crazy since getting my IUD out so at 51 CD, I keep testing every few days just to make sure. While I'm relieved at the BFN because I know DH wouldn't be happy, it kind of breaks my heart every time. 


Yep, this is my problem too.  This is only my second cycle off of BCP, so I'm thinking it will take a few more months for me to become more regular. 

 

 

I'm a graduate student, and also want to wait until the spring to have a baby (ideally in March or April) because my workload seems to decrease a bit in the spring.  I also have a few international conferences coming up in the next few months and I would rather not travel overseas in the first trimester in case of miscarriage.  It looks like I will also be away twice in June, meaning it will likely be difficult to time intercourse, but conceiving in July would be great too.  I also would like a few more months to save some money!  I only get 4 months of paid maternity leave, and would like to take off 6 months, which means I have to go a few months without pay. 

 

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#136 of 505 Old 03-07-2011, 08:53 AM
 
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DD2 is now officially 17 mo old. and still no sign of af lol. 4 months from now is when i got it back after dd1 so we'll see. i wouldnt mind waiting a little longer after that even. i would like to get a house and my health in order. DD1 has been hounding me. she is almost 4 and keeps telling me that our family isnt complete without another baby :shrug. where she gets it, i dont know. i dont really talk about it.


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#137 of 505 Old 03-07-2011, 07:40 PM
 
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Can I just complain for a minute?

 

I'm starting my OB class today, and aside from worrying about how my own views of childbirth/pregnancy should go getting in the way of myself, of course I can already see how taking this class is going to make me insanely frustrated that I am not pregnant yet.  To make matters worse, there are two girls in my course who are expecting over the summer, and instead of thinking, how great for them!  I am thinking, 'why can't that be me!?'  I know it's only a few months away before I can try for real again and I think I'm just having a bad day, but sheesh, it feels like it's going to be forever before I can have another baby!


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#138 of 505 Old 03-08-2011, 05:14 AM
 
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What is helping me is keeping focus. I need to do x,y,z before I get pregnant in order to have a healthy and happy pregnancy. I need to lose weight, get in shape, get health insurance, and get this house in order! (we moved a few months ago and still have a lot of crap to unpack...)

 

We are going to start trying on DDs 2nd birthday (hoping she will be ok when the baby is born b/c she is super duper sensitive and high needs.) So my family needs time and so do I even if I want to be selfish and have a baby right now!


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#139 of 505 Old 03-08-2011, 07:20 AM
 
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Sosurreal:  I hear what you are saying and I know all of this, yet I guess I'm just being emotional about it.  I think I'm just bitter because it's going to be in my face for the next 7 weeks!  I had really wanted to have a summer baby this year over my 4 month break, although it didn't happen during my window.  I think it's probably best that it didn't as my first pg was a little rough, with pre-term issues.  However, I hate that I am going to have to talk about women being pregnant and having babies and then going to the hospital to watch them have babies for these next weeks :(.  It also does not help that DS turned 4 last week, so as more time goes by I just see the age gap getting wider and wider, which I am OK with up to a certain point, but I really didn't want to go a long further than we are already at.

 

I do agree though, that I do also need to finish x,y,z first too.  And I think my list is about the same as yours.  I guess I was just having a bad day at school yesterday.  I'm feeling less bitter about it now.  I talked to DH last night and we both agreed that we are going to get on an exercise plan and make sure we are eating well over the next few months, so that when we are ready to try again in the 'safe zone' that we will be ready to take it on! 


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#140 of 505 Old 03-08-2011, 08:20 AM
 
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hug2.gif I know what you mean, that is rough. It is difficult when you want something and it's being shoved in your face (even unintentionally).

 

I don't think I would be able to handle hospital births period. I am terrified of giving birth in a hospital. hide.gif

 

Power to you mama!


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#141 of 505 Old 03-08-2011, 09:50 AM
 
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babies are in my face now too. it frustrates me. i want another. i know why i am waiting and i am fine with that. but 2 friends recently gave birth and now 2 more friends just announced their pregnancies. ahhhhh that should be me. <insert whine here>  i want another so bad.


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#142 of 505 Old 03-08-2011, 10:18 AM
 
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Aww, big hug2.gifs to all of you having a tough time right now. I'm mostly handling waiting pretty well because I am pretty positive DS would do better with a bigger gap, especially when we have days like today where he's nursing a LOT. I'm going to be taking a doula training workshop this weekend though, and am flying home to MN to be with two of my friends who are expecting in April, though, so I'm steeling myself for renewed baby fever instead of the low-grade squishy yearning I'm able to maintain right now.

 

I just try to tell myself that my time will come if I'm patient, and rushing things wouldn't be best for our family. Time goes so quickly now with a toddler; I'd like to savor it a bit more. But that doesn't stop me from sometimes wishing I were pregnant! om.gif

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#143 of 505 Old 03-08-2011, 01:06 PM
 
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I'm going to join in the venting about everyone having babies!! I know that two more months isn't that long, but everyone around me is pregnant or just had babies, and it's just making me a tiny bit sad that we're waiting. Especially when I see people who are totally unprepared/on drugs/living out of their car being like "Hurray! I'm pregnant! I'm so excited! But brb, I have to go smoke..." Cuss.gif  I'm almost annoyed at myself for trying to be responsible about this and waiting. I know it's best for me, DH, future babies, but sometimes I just....wish I wasn't being so levelheaded about timing. And there is still that tiny little part of me that gets disappointed when AF arrives.

 

 

It also doesnt help that everyone I talk to keeps asking "So, when are you having kids?" And when I give a semi-noncommittal "Well, I'm still in school, and we've got our trip coming up soon, and I don't know what I'm doing after school (which is a lie), so we're waiting until we feel the time is right for us." They get all excited and try to convince me that I should change my timeline "Oh, you should just start trying now. Morning sickness isnt that bad! You can finish school while pregnant!" It's like, I'm sorry, do you honestly think you want me to be pregnant more than I want me to be pregnant? I think not!! But I'm committed to waiting until I'm done with this semester, and I don't want to take the risk of being miserable when I'm overseas! And it's like everyone is expecting that we're going to have zero problems conceiving (even though they know my sister had several miscarriages), I don't want anyone in real life to know when we're actively trying, because then there will be even more pressure!!

 

</rant>


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#144 of 505 Old 03-09-2011, 08:17 AM
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I feel like I'm on a roller coaster.  DH has been working on the taxes and lamenting the fact that we won't have another tax deduction by next year.  Then, DD got sick, and I exclusively breastfed her for a day, so I'm glad I still had a full milk supply for her.

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#145 of 505 Old 03-09-2011, 04:34 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brighids Flame View Post

 

It also doesnt help that everyone I talk to keeps asking "So, when are you having kids?" And when I give a semi-noncommittal "Well, I'm still in school, and we've got our trip coming up soon, and I don't know what I'm doing after school (which is a lie), so we're waiting until we feel the time is right for us." They get all excited and try to convince me that I should change my timeline "Oh, you should just start trying now. Morning sickness isnt that bad! You can finish school while pregnant!" It's like, I'm sorry, do you honestly think you want me to be pregnant more than I want me to be pregnant? I think not!! But I'm committed to waiting until I'm done with this semester, and I don't want to take the risk of being miserable when I'm overseas! And it's like everyone is expecting that we're going to have zero problems conceiving (even though they know my sister had several miscarriages), I don't want anyone in real life to know when we're actively trying, because then there will be even more pressure!!

 

</rant>

I don't blame you at all for waiting!  I am in school too, and even though I really want to start trying now, I am waiting until the baby would be due after I am graduated next May.  And the only reason that I am not waiting to TRY until I graduate is that my DS is 4 now, and I am trying to narrow the gap as much as possible.  If I didn't have any kids yet, I would definitely be just waiting until I was graduated and had a steady job and all that..

 


Student nurse Mamma to Kaylum (3/01/2007) and wife to computer nerd DH .

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#146 of 505 Old 03-10-2011, 06:52 PM
 
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So my husband decided he now wants to wait until november before we try. I am disappointed. I do have a glimmer of hope, we had an opps moment today. I normally would be ovulating on the 14th of this month. Last time we had an opps it was 5 days before i ovulated and i got pregnant (ended with a miscarriage). I am really crossing my fingers, it will be so hard waiting until november. My husband would be totally fine with an opps he is just afraid to actually plan something as huge as having a baby.

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#147 of 505 Old 03-11-2011, 12:31 PM
 
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IKWYM. DH seems pretty reckless sometimes, like he's okay with an oops, yet talks like he's really not ready.  I don't get it.


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#148 of 505 Old 03-11-2011, 01:26 PM
 
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Gator-Mom, I can totally understand wanting the age difference to be as small as possible, and I think that if it were my second or third I'd be less reluctant. I guess part of it is that I don't know what pregnancy is like for me. I might be one of those people who doesn't get nauseous at all, or I might be the type that can't even think about food without vomiting, and I don't want to take that risk. Plus my classes are really labor-intensive this semester, so they're high-stress and I occasionally need to pull all-nighters to get things done. I don't want to do that to my body (and thus my baby) while pregnant. I'm getting more excited about our honeymoon as it gets closer, so whenever I start yearning to start sooner I'm just focusing on that. I'm feeling a lot better today than I was, but I'm seeing friends with a 6 week old tomorrow, so that will probably set me back a bit winky.gif


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Quote:
Originally Posted by justKate View Post

IKWYM. DH seems pretty reckless sometimes, like he's okay with an oops, yet talks like he's really not ready.  I don't get it.



I know exactly what you mean, it is like a rollarcoster.

 

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#150 of 505 Old 03-12-2011, 07:11 AM
 
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Lord above, I have baby fever. It's totally irrational -- I really don't want to try until DD is at least a year, since I don't want it to affect breastfeeding at all (and I'm not even fertile and who knows when I will be), but there's a part of me that's just not rational about it. So I'm wanting, but waiting at the very least 3 more months, and with my job (teaching) it would be much more prudent to wait 6 months to try, and then I've been having fantasies about making a career change, but that plan would put off TTC for another year and a half. It's hard! It's especially hard because IRL, it seems as though people don't understand at all why I'm having a hard time waiting. "You want another one already?!?" while other friends are pregnant and having babies now -- I'm planning one baby shower for a friend and going to another this weekend.

  reading.gif, mama to Amelie (May 2010), early loss (October 2011), and James (September 2012) vbac.gif

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