Will I ever feel done having kids? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 4 Old 04-07-2011, 06:25 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I am 9 weeks pp with #3 and I don't know if this is just hormone related but part of me feels like I will want another one.  I got pregnant with #3 when i was about 12 weeks pp, and it was exhausting.  I was sure I was finished having babies, I want to move on with having the kids grow up and not be babies anymore, but part of me misses pregnancy, even tho when I'm pregnant I'm miserable, especially towards the end. There is so much I don't like about it, like gaining weight and not knowing if my midwife will be on call when I deliver, which bothers me the most. #3 I got the on call dr, who I didn't like at all, very inexperienced, wanted to use the vacuum because she was getting nervous, the nurse and dr who was kinda supervising her were ok with things, thank god, and it wasn't used.  If I had another I want a homebirth, which I wanted with this one, but insurance doesn't cover it, and I can't see spending around $3000. for something that will be covered in a hospital.  I feel like I don't know what I want.  Is it normal to feel this way? For us to have another I would like to get a bigger house, which we just got this house a year ago, and bigger houses usually mean bigger mortgages.  I would also like to get implants at some point, I have wanted them since I was about 16 and I'm 29 now, almost 30, and that will never happen if I keep having babies. I feel very torn.  The more kids we have the less we will be able to do some of the things we want to do, like travel, or even get a babysitter to watch them. So what I want to know is, will I ever feel done? or do I just have to decide this is it and move on?

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#2 of 4 Old 04-11-2011, 07:19 PM
 
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My grandmother had 13 children, over 60 grandchildren and nearly 40 great grandchildren when she passed away.  A few months before she died one of my aunts asked her if you ever get over that desire to have another baby and even in her old age and all the babies that have been in her life, she never lost that desire to have another precious little baby in her arms.

 

I'm am struggling fiercely with the desire for another baby.  It nearly brings me to tears to see women with newborns.  For now, DH and I are preventing but I don't know that he will want to have another baby some day.  We are both still very young but we have 7 children already and the youngest are 16 mo old twins.

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Mommy to DS13, DS12, DS7, DD5, DD3, and twin GIRLS : born at home in the water on 12/18/09
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#3 of 4 Old 04-17-2011, 01:02 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mauraa629 View Post

I am 9 weeks pp with #3 and I don't know if this is just hormone related but part of me feels like I will want another one.  I got pregnant with #3 when i was about 12 weeks pp, and it was exhausting.  I was sure I was finished having babies, I want to move on with having the kids grow up and not be babies anymore, but part of me misses pregnancy, even tho when I'm pregnant I'm miserable, especially towards the end. There is so much I don't like about it, like gaining weight and not knowing if my midwife will be on call when I deliver, which bothers me the most. #3 I got the on call dr, who I didn't like at all, very inexperienced, wanted to use the vacuum because she was getting nervous, the nurse and dr who was kinda supervising her were ok with things, thank god, and it wasn't used.  If I had another I want a homebirth, which I wanted with this one, but insurance doesn't cover it, and I can't see spending around $3000. for something that will be covered in a hospital.  I feel like I don't know what I want.  Is it normal to feel this way? For us to have another I would like to get a bigger house, which we just got this house a year ago, and bigger houses usually mean bigger mortgages.  I would also like to get implants at some point, I have wanted them since I was about 16 and I'm 29 now, almost 30, and that will never happen if I keep having babies. I feel very torn.  The more kids we have the less we will be able to do some of the things we want to do, like travel, or even get a babysitter to watch them. So what I want to know is, will I ever feel done? or do I just have to decide this is it and move on?

I had a big long post all typed up for you, but then I remembered this http://www.mothering.com/community/forum/thread/1257434/moms-of-3-or-more-how-do-you-do-it#post_15785257 thread. Read post #7 by zjande. She captures everything I want to say about being a mama and so much more!!! 

 

Just know that you're not alone! I completely relate to you and everything in your post!!

 

 


Super crunchy Mama to DS1, DS2, DD and wanting a bunch more!  We homeschool, bed share, homebirth and baby wear. We're attached, we only cloth diaper and we don't vax. There's a lot more to us than that, but it won't all fit. 

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#4 of 4 Old 04-29-2011, 08:26 PM
 
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I really think it depends on the person. I always thought I would never "feel" done having babies but when DD2 was about 2yrs old I started to feel like maybe I was done. Now that she is almost 3yrs old I am feeling totally done. I loved having babies but am so excited to move past that stage in my life. To watch them grow and help them along the way. 


~Katie~ married to J, mom to DD- A 13 yrs ,DS- L 7yrs , and my little nursling DD2- R 5yrs.

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