Not trying but not preventing - Mothering Forums

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Old 05-31-2011, 05:56 PM - Thread Starter
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I'm so on the fence about having a third- my heart wants one but my head says no. My husband is also on the fence but I think much more ready to go for it than I am. I'm pretty sure if I said I wanted another he'd be in. So I'm thinking of proposing a not trying but not preventing path for a certain amount of time- I'm 38 and not willing to try for more than maybe 6 months or so. Anyone else tried something similar?

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Old 05-31-2011, 07:38 PM
 
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No but I say go for it! You won't regret having another but might regret not (if that makes sense).


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Old 05-31-2011, 08:05 PM
 
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Yes, both kids.....took about 7-8 months each and it always happened the month where we either barely DTD or were extra careful! 2nd time, I was also still nursing full time on demand....
Good luck! I remember being totally surprised (but happy because like you, we were on the fence).
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Old 06-01-2011, 02:28 PM
 
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I've never tried it before, but what you describe is exactly where my husband and I are right now.  We've decided to no longer prevent, but not do anything to actively try that we're not already doing (ie, no temping, using OPKs, etc.).  We're probably going to go this route for at least the next few months, and will reconsider a more aggressive approach later, most likely in the fall.  I'm only a few days in, but I really like how relaxed we both are about all this -- it's a pretty big contrast from how we've (or, rather, I've) been approaching the whole waiting versus trying thing until now.  There's just a lot less stress for both us, since we both agree that there are a lot of pros for waiting a couple more months, but at the same time can't deny that we'd be anything other than thrilled if we were to find out I'm pregnant right now.  So not trying, not preventing it is!


I'm Jay, 30, married to DH, 31. Fell in love in 2003, married since 2010.
Our little guy makes three! #1 born Dec 2012 Soon to be a family of four! #2 due Jun 2015

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Old 08-21-2011, 05:20 PM
 
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I'm in the boat as you are, somewhat. I'd say go for it! I agree with the earlier post about you possibly regreting not trying, but I doubt you will regret another baby! Good luck.

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Old 09-03-2011, 12:53 PM
 
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With my first two it was "well, we didn't prevent!"  I for sure was not "trying" with either- my oldest I was more or less- I can not bring a child into this world (my niece was in and out of issues with the system and it scared me to death!).  Hum... yeah- well positive pregnancy test!

 

My second DD- I was BFing pretty heavy- my oldest was not really eating solids yet- and shocker- pregnant! 

 

Now I have had an IUD for 5 years- getting it out in 2 weeks and I think we may "not try, but not prevent" and see what happens!

 

Good Luck!!!


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Old 09-11-2011, 01:09 PM
 
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I *thought* we were ttc #4 and I happily placed myself on the thread about that but then, when it came down to it, I knew when I was fertile and didn't do anything to get pregnant.  huh.  I guess there are parts of me (my head, namely) that isn't quite as ready for one more as I thought I was?  I am in training for a half-marathon and still breastfeeding #3 quite often so I think I am in this group rather than actively & whole-heartedly ttc...  If it happens, then GREAT!!  But I don't want to spend time going nuts over the details.  I've already been calculating whether or not I'd be able to take the family cruise planned in late June if I conceive next cycle...  this kind of stuff is what I hope to avoid.  *sheesh*  anyway.  Thought you'd understand.  :)


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Old 09-11-2011, 05:34 PM - Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ears73 View Post

I *thought* we were ttc #4 and I happily placed myself on the thread about that but then, when it came down to it, I knew when I was fertile and didn't do anything to get pregnant.  huh.  I guess there are parts of me (my head, namely) that isn't quite as ready for one more as I thought I was?  I am in training for a half-marathon and still breastfeeding #3 quite often so I think I am in this group rather than actively & whole-heartedly ttc...  If it happens, then GREAT!!  But I don't want to spend time going nuts over the details.  I've already been calculating whether or not I'd be able to take the family cruise planned in late June if I conceive next cycle...  this kind of stuff is what I hope to avoid.  *sheesh*  anyway.  Thought you'd understand.  :)



I can totally relate to all of that! I'm a runner and am getting back into triathons and all summer I kept thinking "If I get pregnant I'll feel lousy for the race!" We still haven't made any decisions and I waver wildly back and forth about a third child. My four year old, who has always been a really easy toddler/kid, is being so challenging lately, and my just-turned-two-year-old is hitting tantrums full-throttle, so I'm a little terrified about adding another right now. But, I'm not getting any younger....

 

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