I guess what my question really is, is that when do you REALLY know that you're done? My girls are only 3 and 12 mo. but I'm feeling so done. The funny thing is that about 6 mo ago I was really thinking that I wanted a third, but since DD1 hit the awful 3 yr old stage and DD2 is now almost walking and into everything I'm feeling like I'm going to pull my hair out on a daily basis.
We know that DH will get a vasectomy when we're done, and I'm saying to him-do it now! But he's a little freaked out by the procedure and not ready yet. i haven't got my cycles back, but I didn't have them back when I got pregnant with DD2 either, so I'm really paranoid.
I'm not a huge fan of any hormonal BC, but I'm not sure what to do at this point.
So, how soon after your last was born did DH get a vasectomy? Do you regret it? Am I just in the middle of a hard phase and should wait it out before making any permanent decisions?
Agghh, so many questions!!!! IF you have any thoughts I'd really appreciate to hear them.
Thanks so much!!
You know, I have never been ready for another child until my previous one was 3 years old so for me, I would want to wait longer to be sure. I have a 14 month old right now and hummed and hawed for quite a while over a third and my dh wasn't sure he wanted to go there. We never really tried but it happened just as we were getting to the point where we would need to make a decision. I am so happy with three and love having 3 boys.
What about doing something temporary for a while. I haven't ever done that but I know some ladies like using an IUD or the like while they are deciding and gives them some time before making a final decision.
Good luck whatever you decide.
Mom to three great boys Michael (Sept/01), Carter (Nov/05) and Reid (March/10).
Dh is finally going in. we struggled with the decision-not because we thought we wanted more....but because we weren't certain that surgery was the way to go. we decided it is. My youngest is 5! Thing is I've never once had baby lust so it was clear for me. Even holding my sisters kids-jeez I was at my nephew's birth and was the first one to hold him. I love that kid, but he doesn't make me want more!
Good luck. It's a tough decision, and one you should be clear on before making.
It is definitely a tough decision my DH and I are also in the midst of discussing this. I'm with Panserbjorne on this one... one of my dearest and best friends just recently had a baby and there was absolutely no baby fever for me. I just feel fulfilled with my 2. But mom2lucy you are definitely in a very difficult stage with the terrible 3's and a recent walker. So I'd say if you're not 100% sure that you don't want any more yet just wait it out until you pass the trying stage and maybe you'll realize that you still want more.
happily married and a mama to DD & DS
Just subbing. I am pregnant and thinking about this already since this is my second seriously terrible pregnancy. Were it not so risky for my own health, I think it would be harder to decide, but it is nice getting perspective from others.
I had great Pgs and my kids were super easy as babies- but we always knew that three was it for us. Mainly becaise of money issues. When my youngest was 14 months old, dh had a V. I call it the best present he ever gave me.
I have to add that between my kids, I did have that baby lust. We even talked long and hard about #3- because my middle child was my toughest as a toddler. But one night we were watching the movie "My Life" and dh just looked at me and said, "Let's have another." and that was it. Once my third was born and I got to be a SAHM for a year (I am a teacher and worked while my first two were babies), I was ready to be done. I enjoyed all of kids as babies, but I do not have the desire to have anymore. Many of my family members are shocked because I was the BABY LADY for so long. But I love every stage of my kids' lives- right now they are 15, 13, and 10- and we are having so much fun.