Any advice on what to do or how to cope? I'm losing my mind here. His lazy ex is taking away every chance i wanted with him and doesn't care.
If he doesn't think it's his child, he needs to prove that with a paternity test. If he truly can't afford the payments (say if his income changed), he can ask to have them lowered.
Otherwise, well, kids are expensive. You have an option of being with him or not being with him, knowing that he has a legal and ethical responsibility to pay out this money every month and support his children. You have the choice of staying with him or leaving him, given what you know about his financial responsibilities. But you can't change the fact that he has these responsibilities.
Jen, journalist, policy wonk, and formerly a proud single mama to my sweet little man Cyrus, born at home Dec. 2007 . Now married to my Incredibly Nice Guy and new mama to baby Arthur.