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-   -   Wanting but Waiting *2012* (http://www.mothering.com/forum/180-family-planning/1344925-wanting-but-waiting-2012-a.html)

kitteh 02-11-2012 12:22 PM

I just finished reading the 2011 WBW thread, and it is the perfect place for me right now. But I noticed that no one has started a new thread yet, so I guess I'm going to give it a go. I've never started a thread like this before, and I usually have difficulty even keeping up with the threads in which I'm just a participant, so bear with me. If anyone else wants to host this thread instead, let me know!

 

Copy/pasted from Mulvah's 2011 thread:

 

Wanting But Waiting Tribe ~ 2011

 

This tribe is for those of us who are longing for a baby right now but, for whatever reason, are waiting to try for one. This is the place to go for support from others in the same boat.

 

If I miss an addition or change, please either PM me or note it in red.  Please include what year you would like to be listed under and/or if you are requesting to be added or moved.  Thanks! smile.gif

 

 

 

Pregnant or Starting Now!    dust.gif

 

 

 

Wanting But Waiting ~ 2012

 

  • MedicBaby21 - Late 2011 - Spring 2012
  • tulgey - January
  • nattery--March!
  • MrsJJ - April
  • treeoflife3 - Spring
  • librarygirl - May
  • zenmumajen - Spring/Summer
  • kat216--June
  • buterflymomma - June/July
  • Brown Lioness - Summer
  • homegrowngirl - Summer
  • swelldoula - Summer
  • JelloPanda--Late Summer/early Fall
  • RavenStar - Summer/Fall
  • kitteh- late Summer/early Fall
  • infojunkie--late Fall/early Winter
  • Lindamama84--late Fall/early Winter
  • CorriJ - December
  • Jennifer5fire
  • Mamainthemaking

 

 

 

Wanting But Waiting ~ 2013 and Beyond

 

  • C is for Cookie - Spring
  • CarsonBookworm
  • JenRN
  • poetlizabeth
  • TenOfHearts
  • treehugger86

 

 

 

Wanting But Waiting ~ A Little Bit Longer

 

  • betmina
  • BHappy
  • button-nose
  • canadianhippie
  • CatholicGirl
  • ChristiJohnson1
  • colta
  • CTH3989
  • Dacks
  • dejagerw
  • eblindauer
  • freyja137
  • HerbanGirl
  • HibpTon
  • janinemh
  • JHopesMomma
  • justKate
  • lakeruby
  • Lyterae
  • Magelet
  • maia.springgoddess
  • Mamabear<3
  • mi.birthdoula
  • molliecat
  • MommatoAandA
  • mwright
  • PinkGeek
  • rachel65655
  • sarahdavida
  • Thyme Mama
  • VK1987

kitteh 02-11-2012 01:01 PM

I've added myself to late Summer/early Fall 2012. Here is my story:

 

DH and I met in 2008 when I was studying abroad in Chile. Before I even met him in person I knew he was "the one." I was older than most of the other students studying through my program, and I really wanted to meet Chileans around my age. My host mom told me she had the perfect person for me to meet, but he lived in the Northern part of Chile and we were in Santiago. So she introduced us through facebook and we clicked, and started chatting online nightly. A few months later I went North to visit him and his family and it was pretty much immediate, I just knew he was it. We were engaged 3 days after meeting in person, and had a ceremony at his family's home 3 months after that. 6 months later he was in the US and we had our wedding on June 12th, 2009. I was already 7 weeks pregnant with out little one--we conceived her the Very. First. Day. that DH arrived in the US.

 

The first pregnancy was unplanned and I was terrified at first. I'd just graduated from UCLA with 20+k in student loans and 25k in high interest credit card debt, and I was working as a waitress. DH had just arrived in the US and didn't even have authorization to work yet, so we were living on my ~30k income. We didn't have a car (still don't!) and were sharing a 2 bedroom apartment with my brother. It couldn't have been worse timing. In fact, at first I thought we were going to have to terminate the pregnancy, because of our circumstances. We were talking about it one night, and I was crying because I wanted to keep the baby but I was convinced we couldn't do it, and we decided to take a walk to get some fresh air. Well, we walked out into a disaster scene--fire trucks were blocking off the street and there was thick billowing smoke in the air, and a group of girls sitting on the side of the road, crying. Their apartment had just burned down and they lost almost everything they had. And they had no renter's insurance. Seeing that kinda put our situation in perspective. They had just lost everything, and here I was crying over a new life that we had been blessed with.

 

In the end, it all worked out so much better than I had anticipated. We're now living in a 1-bedroom in a really great area, with really great rent. We live close enough to our work places that we can bike there, so we still don't have a car. DH has a secure, full-time job and I'm no longer a waitress. I'm working less than part-time as a kindergarten classroom assistant, and I'm planning to eventually get my credential and teach. We've paid off all but 2k of the credit card debt, which is all at 0% interest. If I were still working as a waitress we would have grossed just over 50k last year, but I'm glad that I made the move into the classroom. It means less money for the short term, but will hopefully lead to something better down the road. And the fact that I'm only working 3.5 hours every morning has opened us up to the possibility of trying for #2. Before we were married we talked about having our kids close in age, and if we get started later this year DD will be just under 3.5 when the baby is born.

 

I have Mirena IUD in now, but I'm thinking of getting it out and starting to chart for a few months to get to know my natural cycle again. Part of me just wants to get it out and throw caution to the wind, though.


Dia 02-11-2012 07:19 PM

Hello Tashia (what a beautiful name). I belong here!

 

My name is Dia. I am wanting but waiting. Excited for when the time is right. I don't know when that time will be exactly. I have a long story too, I was married; we tried to concieve for a long time, found out that his health was the issue. It was a heart renching, very devastaing time in my life, and sadly, but rightly, that relationship ended.

 

I have now been with the "one" for about 2 years. Kids are in the future but I don't know when. I can't wait. 

 

Hello all :)


librarygirl 02-12-2012 07:14 AM

Hello everyone!

 

I'm still on the list from last year and still planning for May!!! It's coming up soooooo fast. I met my future husband in September of 2010. 5 months later, we moved in together and on our one year anniversary of dating, he asked me to marry him. We are getting married on May 19th and we plan to start TTC as soon as we're married. I'm 32 and he's 37- first marriage for both of us and neither of us have kids but we both want a couple (okay, i still want 3 or 4, he wants 2 or 3). We aren't getting any younger and although his career isn't where he wants it to be, mine is stable and has good benefits. Basically, we are ready but waiting until we getting married, as many of my relatives- my own mother included, were pregnant when they got married, I thought I'd go for the more traditional route of wedding then baby. :)

 

Hope everyone is doing well!

 

 

 

 


JenRN 02-13-2012 06:11 AM

Hello all! Please add me to list of "2013 and beyond". I have a feeling "beyond" is more likely than 2013, though.

 

I'll try to keep my story brief: I also knew instantly that DH was the "one" (I was actually in another relationship at the time, we met through a mutual friend). We dated almost a year when he proposed. We actually ended up getting married 2 years to the day from when we met.

 

I always knew I wanted 2 kids, DH wasn't sure. He's an accountant and wanted to get his CPA first. Well, he never actually studied seriously and kept putting things off. After being married almost 2 years, we decided to go off birth control and see what happened. Well, I never got a period. After 6 months, I talked my GP into inducing a period. After that, still no period. I went back to my GP asking for testing - turns out I was pregnant! Sadly, I miscarried that pregnancy around 10 weeks. Anyway, blah blah blah - I ended up conceived DD one year after we started trying. I had horrible "morning" sickness the whole pregnancy, went 12 days overdue, and I think traumatized DH with my screaming during an incredibly long labor/induction. ;)

 

Now that DD is 20 months old, I've started feeling the urge for one more. DH - not so much. He still hasn't gotten his CPA (hard to study when DD won't sleep, she's still a horrible sleeper). Everytime I try to even TALK about it, he finds a new reason for why he doesn't want to. Saving enough for college for 2, his CPA, DD is finally sleeping a little better, etc. I turned into a crazy lady TTC my daughter, especially after the miscarriage - if we were to stop using protection, I'd just want to TTW instead of hardcore "try", but I understand his concern.

 

But then he'll say things about him and his sister having "perfect spacing" (7 years) and talk about how DD is getting so big and isn't a baby anymore (in a sad way). So I'm not sure if he's completely done or just can't think about it right now.

 


dreamingtree 02-13-2012 09:42 AM

I can be added to the "Wanting but Waiting" until Late fall, early winter 2012 category :) Hopefully it doesn't get pushed back for any reason, I've got the baby fever now redface.gif


Jennifer5fire 02-13-2012 10:00 AM

Add me to the Wanting but Waiting list for 2012.  We were pregnant, due date, August 5, 2012 but miscarried at 12 weeks three weeks ago on January 23, 2012.  We want to conceive again ASAP but it's so hard to decide if this is the right time NOW or if we should wait.


kitteh 02-13-2012 04:24 PM



Quote:
Originally Posted by librarygirl View Post

Hello everyone!

 

I'm still on the list from last year and still planning for May!!! It's coming up soooooo fast. I met my future husband in September of 2010. 5 months later, we moved in together and on our one year anniversary of dating, he asked me to marry him. We are getting married on May 19th and we plan to start TTC as soon as we're married. I'm 32 and he's 37- first marriage for both of us and neither of us have kids but we both want a couple (okay, i still want 3 or 4, he wants 2 or 3). We aren't getting any younger and although his career isn't where he wants it to be, mine is stable and has good benefits. Basically, we are ready but waiting until we getting married, as many of my relatives- my own mother included, were pregnant when they got married, I thought I'd go for the more traditional route of wedding then baby. :)

 

Hope everyone is doing well!

 

 

 

 



Congrats on the upcoming nuptials!



Quote:
Originally Posted by JenRN View Post

Hello all! Please add me to list of "2013 and beyond". I have a feeling "beyond" is more likely than 2013, though.

 

I'll try to keep my story brief: I also knew instantly that DH was the "one" (I was actually in another relationship at the time, we met through a mutual friend). We dated almost a year when he proposed. We actually ended up getting married 2 years to the day from when we met.

 

I always knew I wanted 2 kids, DH wasn't sure. He's an accountant and wanted to get his CPA first. Well, he never actually studied seriously and kept putting things off. After being married almost 2 years, we decided to go off birth control and see what happened. Well, I never got a period. After 6 months, I talked my GP into inducing a period. After that, still no period. I went back to my GP asking for testing - turns out I was pregnant! Sadly, I miscarried that pregnancy around 10 weeks. Anyway, blah blah blah - I ended up conceived DD one year after we started trying. I had horrible "morning" sickness the whole pregnancy, went 12 days overdue, and I think traumatized DH with my screaming during an incredibly long labor/induction. ;)

 

Now that DD is 20 months old, I've started feeling the urge for one more. DH - not so much. He still hasn't gotten his CPA (hard to study when DD won't sleep, she's still a horrible sleeper). Everytime I try to even TALK about it, he finds a new reason for why he doesn't want to. Saving enough for college for 2, his CPA, DD is finally sleeping a little better, etc. I turned into a crazy lady TTC my daughter, especially after the miscarriage - if we were to stop using protection, I'd just want to TTW instead of hardcore "try", but I understand his concern.

 

But then he'll say things about him and his sister having "perfect spacing" (7 years) and talk about how DD is getting so big and isn't a baby anymore (in a sad way). So I'm not sure if he's completely done or just can't think about it right now.

 



Welcome Jen!! I've added you to the list. Thanks for telling your story, I like reading them. I really hope that your DH comes around and that you two can agree on a timeframe for TTC. It must be tough to be having baby fever without the support of your partner. I feel kinda crazy with how much I think/talk about the next baby, and I'm not even pregnant yet! And I think that would be tough if DH didn't share my excitement. But please feel free to come here to daydream about your future family, if you'd like.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Dia View Post

Hello Tashia (what a beautiful name). I belong here!

 

My name is Dia. I am wanting but waiting. Excited for when the time is right. I don't know when that time will be exactly. I have a long story too, I was married; we tried to concieve for a long time, found out that his health was the issue. It was a heart renching, very devastaing time in my life, and sadly, but rightly, that relationship ended.

 

I have now been with the "one" for about 2 years. Kids are in the future but I don't know when. I can't wait. 

 

Hello all :)



Welcome Dia! What a beautiful name you have as well! Have you and The One talked about timing of future kids? where would you like me to place you on the list?



Quote:
Originally Posted by infojunkie View Post

I can be added to the "Wanting but Waiting" until Late fall, early winter 2012 category :) Hopefully it doesn't get pushed back for any reason, I've got the baby fever now redface.gif



Added!



Quote:
Originally Posted by Jennifer5fire View Post

Add me to the Wanting but Waiting list for 2012.  We were pregnant, due date, August 5, 2012 but miscarried at 12 weeks three weeks ago on January 23, 2012.  We want to conceive again ASAP but it's so hard to decide if this is the right time NOW or if we should wait.


So sorry for your loss. Welcome to the group!

 


JenRN 02-14-2012 01:07 PM



Quote:
Originally Posted by kitteh View Post

Welcome Jen!! I've added you to the list. Thanks for telling your story, I like reading them. I really hope that your DH comes around and that you two can agree on a timeframe for TTC. It must be tough to be having baby fever without the support of your partner. I feel kinda crazy with how much I think/talk about the next baby, and I'm not even pregnant yet! And I think that would be tough if DH didn't share my excitement. But please feel free to come here to daydream about your future family, if you'd like.

 

It also doesn't help that I'm a L&D nurse (and birth planner), and work with the most fertile ladies imaginable. I sometimes feel like if I had a "normal" job, I wouldn't obsess so much/maybe not even want another right now. At least I can get my newborn-smell fix whenever I work. smile.gif

 

DH and I reached an agreement to not discuss it until DD's second birthday (end of May). I'm hoping several things will have fallen into place by then: part of the CPA passed (it's a 4 part test) for DH, I would be on day shift by then (I don't blame DH for not wanting another baby when he has to care for it and DD solo a few nights a week), and hopefully DD will be sleeping better. praying.gif

 

I don't think you should feel crazy - you want what you want, it's hard not to think about!


JenRN 02-14-2012 01:19 PM



Quote:
Originally Posted by Jennifer5fire View Post

Add me to the Wanting but Waiting list for 2012.  We were pregnant, due date, August 5, 2012 but miscarried at 12 weeks three weeks ago on January 23, 2012.  We want to conceive again ASAP but it's so hard to decide if this is the right time NOW or if we should wait.



I'm so sorry for your loss. *hugs* Only you can make the decision when the right time to try again is, but I just wanted to tell you my experience:

 

I miscarried around 10ish weeks. I wanted to TTC again immediately, and didn't really let myself grieve. I threw myself into TTC so much, it was incredibly obsessive. Demanding testing unneccesary testing, charting, supplements, fertility monitors, etc. Basically, if it advertised that it would help TTC, I would buy it/try it.

 

It took 4 cycles of trying to get pregnant with DD, which felt like forever at the time. But then, I think because I hadn't properly dealt with the loss, I couldn't relax during the pregnancy. At all. Major panic attacks, even after passing the timeframe I lost the first pregnancy, after feeling movement, etc.. I kept waiting for something to go wrong. It definitely wasn't as joyous of a time as it should have been. I bawled the whole ride home from the hospital with DD (who was healthy as a horse) because I had truly believed that I wasn't going to get to take a baby home.

 

My advice would be to take this time to heal (physically and emotionally). Then you can figure out when the best time to TTC again would be.

 


nattery 02-14-2012 04:57 PM

So my partner and I sat down for Valentine's Day Dinner and after much reflection, and careful thought over this past month we decided to start trying NEXT MONTH! Ahhhhhhh so close! The hardest part will be to CTA over the next two weeks while I ovulate... .just had to share that excitment with someone! 

 

eeeeeeeeeee


kitteh 02-14-2012 05:11 PM

OMG that's so exciting! I'm a little jealous, lol.

 

Here's to patience for the rest of February, and dust.giffor March!

 

Happy Valentine's Day everyone!


kat216 02-15-2012 10:49 AM

I'd love to join in here! DH and I were high school sweethearts, married so far for almost 5 years and together for 11. We're planning to start TTC in June this year, and I cannot wait! DH is an academic, so we're trying to time the pregnancy so I'll be due in the spring/early summer so he can help more with the baby.

 

I'm also in the CTA/FAM threat here, and I've mentioned this there,  but I'm a bit worried about TTC, as I seem to have low temps and spotting during my short luteal phase. Would it be premature to get my progesterone levels checked? I have a (unfounded) fear that we will have trouble TTC, and now I'm worried it might come true. :(


kitteh 02-18-2012 09:42 PM

Welcome Kat, and good luck! I have absolutely no advice for you, I'm pretty clueless about charting and phases an hormones. But I totally get the (hopefully unfounded) fear of infertility. DH and I weren't trying for DD, and when we talk about TTC for #2 he always just says that he trusts in my fertility and just FEELS like we're not going to have any problems, but don't most people feel that way until they actually DO have problems? I'm going to be 31 this October, and I only have one ovary (righty was removed when I was a senior in HS, due to an overgrown cyst that torqued the ovary and basically killed it. Most painful thing EVER.) So I have my times of doubt/worry.

 

I've been having a hard time keeping my mind off baby baby baby. Although, we've all been sick this month and DD has been having terrible sleep patterns--like not napping til super late and then getting up at midnight and staying awake til 3 AM!--so we've been exhausted. On top of that, DH had to pick up an extra shift a week for the past month, so I feel like we haven't had any time to do anything. We haven't even had sex this month, and though I'm usually climbing the walls if we go more than 5-7 days without it, I'm just now starting to feel randy. After 4 whole weeks without! I kinda feel like this month is really testing our resolve to add another to the mix. But I'm happy to say that we're still on the same page. DH and I talked the other night and he pointed out that considering all the things going on this month, from illness to overtime to sleep deprivation, we're still really well connected emotionally and even physically, even without the sex. Adding a newborn to the mix is going to be crazy no matter WHEN we do it, I think.

 

So my plan is to get the IUD out in the next few months and then start charting. I have to remind myself that our plan of starting in September is well thought out and makes sense, and that even if we don't get lucky on the first try we'd be in better shape having the baby later rather than sooner (by a few months, at least. I'm assuming we won't be going 6+ months of trying, knock on wood.) Because part of me just wants to say screw it and go get the IUD out tomorrow and see what happens.


kitteh 02-22-2012 07:37 PM

K, am I the only one having a tough time with the WAITING part? I've just got babies on the brain!

 

I keep getting emails from Old Navy about their baby and maternity sale, so I've been browsing a lot of maternity wear. And also the DDC belly threads, and wishing I had a growing belly to photograph. We were out at dinner last night with my brother, and I told him that we've decided to start trying in September, and he was really excited about it, which surprised me (when he found out about my pregnancy with DD he said "Real responsible Tash, way to ruin your life" which was simultaneously WTF and LOL, since I was 27 and (newly) married at the time, but whatever. He later told DD that he was glad I "ruined my life" because she was possibly the most perfect baby ever, so I kinda took that as his apology.) Anyhow, I was kinda sad that we were telling him that we decided to try for another, instead of being able to tell him that we were expecting.

 

Also, I'm volunteering in a local middle school 3 days a week, and the teacher with whom I'm working is 20-some-odd weeks pregnant with her second, and she has a 2.5 yr old dd. That's not helping things!

 

I keep irrationally hoping for an OOPS, which is ridiculous because I have an IUD, so an oops would be HIGHLY unlikely, and probably dangerous. I'm usually quite level headed and rational, but I'm kinda losing it with this baby fever over here.


JelloPanda 02-22-2012 09:55 PM

I'm so happy I found this thread :)
DP and I have been together for 2 years this March. I've had a couple losses, so we're WTT for our rainbow baby!  We're in our early 20's, and are excited to be "young" parents.

Long story short:  I had a son when I was 17, and placed him for adoption. Since then, I've had two miscarriages.  I've had "baby fever" ever since my first m/c in January 2010, and I'm going insane with waiting! 

We were originally waiting until Dec 2014, but after a recent heart-to-heart, we've decided to start TTC late summer/early fall :)  I'm so excited! 

 

I have mild/subclinical hypothyroidism (Subclinical: Doesn't need to be medicated, but we're trying meds just to see how it goes) - a very weird case of it. I've struggled with my weight ever since my son was born  (I had severe PPD), and dropped 60lbs within the first 3 months PP. My "healthy" weight range for my height is about 120lbs, and I'm barely over 105lbs at the best of times.  So before I get pregnant, I'm trying to GAIN 20lbs. It's harder than it sounds - I've been trying for over 2 years, and have only managed to gain about 3lbs in total. 

 

My cycles were normal before my thyroid meds (O'd on day 14, had a 14 day LP), but since starting them in November, my cycle has gone crazy. I now O anywhere from CD 14-21, and have an 11-13 day LP. As well, my CM has gone from AWESOMELY fertile to nothing. 

We are currently half-assed Charting To Avoid, but with DP's work right now taking him out of province Monday to Friday... it's hard to "avoid" when he IS home! Sheepish.gif

 

Anyway. I'll shut up now. I tend to ramble on a lot.
My chart is in my signature!

 

 

Kitteh - I got an email from Target the other day saying:  "Stock up on baby clothes ... you're gonna need it."    and I was like  "What?! Does Target know something I don't?! EEEEE!"  until I realized that I was being totally irrational... haha.  I'm also hoping for an OOPS baby this month!

 


librarygirl 02-23-2012 08:45 PM



Quote:
Originally Posted by kitteh View Post

K, am I the only one having a tough time with the WAITING part? I've just got babies on the brain!

 


 

I keep irrationally hoping for an OOPS, which is ridiculous because I have an IUD, so an oops would be HIGHLY unlikely, and probably dangerous. I'm usually quite level headed and rational, but I'm kinda losing it with this baby fever over here.



See, your "oops" takes more work (getting the iud removed). Mine is almost too easy and very very tempting. FAM here and all I'd have to say is "we're good" (aka not fertile) when I am fertile for an "oops". But then I remember that he trusts me and I don't want to break that trust and honestly, I'm enjoying the bride-to-be stuff and don't really want to have morning sickness while doing all the fun wedding stuff (I have 3 showers and a bachelorette party- someone needs to stop my family).

 

But I'm a children's librarian and I see babies all day long and oh, I just want one of my own!!! WAITING is hard!

 

Soon, ladies, soon. :)


Dia 02-24-2012 03:45 PM



Quote:
Originally Posted by kitteh View Post


Welcome Dia! What a beautiful name you have as well! Have you and The One talked about timing of future kids? where would you like me to place you on the list?


 


Thank you for the welcome. I'd say...2013 and beyond. :) 

 


mamainthemaking 03-09-2012 08:08 AM

Hello all.

I would love to be added to the group. My DH and I have been married for 2.5 years (28yo and 29yo). DH is in graduate school and I am working my first full time job after finishing graduate school. When I started this job in October my hope was that we would start TTC as soon as I would qualify for FMLA. Unfortunately, it looks like there are some concerns about my job security due to program limitations. My supervisor told me that we won't know anything about the future of my position until this summer. I've had baby fever for a while now and the idea of having to wait until I am settled in a new job (which would probably be next fall) is so discouraging. The good news is that (besides job security) I think my DH and I are both emotionally and relationally ready for a little one. It is so fun to see DH start to get excited about a baby and the idea of trying. Well, that's my story. Thanks for reading smile.gif


Lidamama84 03-10-2012 01:56 PM

Hi Everyone!

 

My name is Lidia, and I have two beautiful girls (3yo and 9mo), and I am really excited bc DH recently agreed to #3!!! I want lots of kids, but 3 is probably our limit financially and emotionally :)  We have agree to TTC in late fall/early winter 2012. I still don't have my periods from DD2, so I'm not charting my cycle or anything yet, but I will probably get my period when I go back to work in July and am only BFing evenings and weekends :(  We still use condoms, though...just in case...I have to work for 6 months to qualify for mat leave, so I want to get back to work before we start trying, lol!

 

DH and I have been married 4 yrs this August, and have been together since 2005. I met DH while buying a car, of all things! Not really sure when I knew he was "the one", but one day it just seemed as though life without him wouldn't be the same :))

 

I am totally starting to get into "I want another one" mode...

 

Nice to meet everyone!


mamainthemaking 03-13-2012 08:31 AM

Hello Lidia! Nice to "meet" you as well.

 

I am curious what you all are doing to prepare for conception (physically, emotionally, spiritually...). Does anyone have a list of things they want to have done before they conceive? I've recently made some health goals (work out 3x per week, drink 48 ounces of water daily) and I would love to be able to go on one last vacation with DH before getting pregnant (maybe the pacific northwest?). What about you all?


Harmony96 03-14-2012 11:10 AM

mamainthemaking, before I conceive, I'm trying to get in better shape and trying to eat better.  I'm working out five days a week now (had been doing the Shred for three days a week, then this week I'm adding a different DVD on the "off" days). 


Harmony96 03-14-2012 11:12 AM

Hi, everyone.  I *might* be joining this thread.  I won't know for sure until next Wednesday, after I get some questions answered.  I lost a baby in December '11, after he was born by emergency c-section in November, nearly 15 weeks early.  I would be trying NOW but the c-section is complicating things.  :(  I would like to start trying in April, but may be waiting until August.  I'm going to go visit with our regional VBAC guru on Wednesday, though, and will know more after that visit with regards to when I can try again.  This was my first c-section and I want a VBAC next time. 


elizabeth67 03-14-2012 12:54 PM

Hi Everyone!

 

Add me to the list, Winter 2012/Spring 2013!

 

I have been wanting but waiting for about a year now. I'm only 22 years old, and I find myself torn in so many ways with this decision. I keep telling myself that it's stupid for me to want a baby because I'm so young, and shouldn't I be focusing on other things like my  career and all the things I want to do before I become a parent?

 

I met DH almost 2 years ago through a friend, and we began talking on the phone every night for 2 hours,  and I immediately knew he was special. I've always been naturally polyamorous, but my partners are always monogamous, but with this guy I am just so head-over-heels. Once we started hanging out in person, I got a whiff of his scent and it awakened all my hormones. When we started sleeping in the same bed, I'd wake up in the middle of the night and kiss and make love to him while I was still semi-asleep, and while he was often still very much asleep . . . We have the same dreams and goals, and our personalities are very complementary. When we play music together, everyone around recognizes our natural bond, and since the time we started playing together people always thought we'd been doing it for years! Anyway, we're six months into our marriage now!

 

Anyway, there are distant dreams that I have for life pre-baby, like going on tour and stuff, but that sort of thing seems more like a pipe dream than a reality. We just moved out to the country, in the middle of nowhere, and I am feeling more and more babycrazy all the time. Occasionally, I will think that children are undesirable, but those occasions continue to decrease in frequency.

 

I am so baby-crazy that sometimes it makes me think I'd be a bad parent, that I would infantilize my growing child or be too over-protective like my family was. My mother is a horrible, horrible parent (she still has a toddler) and she drinks all the time and hates being a mother and just complains about how horrible her life is. Similarly, my stepmother (who has just one child of her own) seems to be horrible miserable and depressed, and I always wondered if this had to do with post partum depression or with having a child "too soon." (She was 35 when she became pregnant)

 

So I don't have many positive models of motherhood, and I have a history of depression as well. It makes me afraid of the fruition of my own dreams and desires. Sometimes I wonder if my desire for a baby is totally irrational or 80-100% due to hormones. Sometimes I feel like I can't resist the urge to TTC anymore. Am I crazy? How can I cope with such consistent, yearning, burning desire?

 

My plan thus far has been to improve my health and well-being to prepare myself for pregnancy as well as to motivate me to help myself. I've started jogging, more regularly stretching, and doing general work outs and repetitions. I always eat a healthy diet, and strive for balance (tough in the winter where I live!)

 

If anyone has any feedback or suggestions, especially if you know how I feel, I'd love to hear from you. I feel stuck between cultures- a lot of the women where I live started having kids in their teens, but the women I knew at college and my female friends are the type to wait . . . perhaps indefinitely . . . while they do other things. I can't help but ask myself why I'm not more like my friends.

 

Signed,

Crazy and Confused!!!

 

 


elizabeth67 03-14-2012 12:58 PM

Wow! I feel like you're speaking right from my own head. I've been wondering what other people do to prepare, and what I should want to do before I'm a mama!

 

I've just been eating really healthy, and I've eliminated the 1-2 monthly alcoholic beverages from my diet lol. I'm trying to jog 15-30 minutes 3-4 times a week, and do exercises to strengthen my core, my endurance, and my legs and pelvic area. My stretches focus on supporting my back because I have scoliosis.

 

The only thing I want to do before baby is go to California with my husband! Hmm . . . maybe I can wait to conceive there ;-)


mamainthemaking 03-14-2012 05:47 PM

Harmony - I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what the last few months have been like but I hope and pray that good things are ahead for you. Allowing hope to grow again can be scary and painful...take extra good care of yourself.  


mamainthemaking 03-14-2012 05:53 PM

Elizabeth - Congrats on your marriage! I know when my desire to TTC is the most intense, it helps to work on "preparing" for TTC. With that being said, it sounds like your list of goals are great and will hopefully help you to feel like you are making progress toward the end goal (baby!). 


Aithnea 03-15-2012 05:35 AM

Greetings everyone,

 

I'm definetly Wanting but Waiting.  Actually I'm the one wanting but DH is the one saying we should wait.  We have a beautiful daughter (19 months) and I've been feeling the need to start trying again.  DH on the other hand isn't even sure if he wants another child and says that we should wait until she's a bit older before we even consider it.  He wants to wait until she's 5.  I can't imagine having children that far apart.  My sister and I are 3 years apart and really close well he and his sister are 7 and not close at all, but keeps talking about how he wishes that they were.

 


canadianhippie 03-17-2012 07:48 AM

Oohhhh greensad.gif its getting so hard to wait

 

My LO will be 3 in August, my DP will be 32 in April and now for the kicker...

 

I wont be completed college until Sept. 2013, then work so I can have a paid maternity leave

 

Me and my DP both would love to, but school comes first, so does a marriage...but this sucks, I want a newborn! 

 

I know way to many pregnant ladies that i see daily mecry.gif


maia.springgoddess 03-18-2012 03:26 PM

Hi, just want to keep things tidy:

You can remove me from the list as hubby and I have (finally) started getting busy!

Thanks to everyone for sharing their stories, it was beyond helpful knowing there were other women like me.

elizabeth67: I see so much of myself in you - relatively young, friends who are waiting, absolutely crazy with baby lust...I've spent the past year and a half trying to rationalize and talk myself out of something I've known was my destiny. I know in my bones I was born to be a mother and I wish someone had told me that was ok to know at this age (22 now, 20 when I first knew). So please, wait if it feels right and continue preparing and cry some, but don't let your age stop you if everything else feels right. There are plenty of amazing young mothers out there committed to learning and growing alongside their child. And there are so many positive role models on these forums!

Wishing everyone patience and blessings on your journeys.


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