Ladies, I need some help here. I have read (most of) TCOYF and read the FDA information on pretty much every birth control out there that is breastfeeding-safe, but I still am not sure what to do. And I'm starting to panic, because BC is really necessary at this point!
The bottom line is, I hate, hate, hate drugs. I hate them. I don't like to take them, even painkillers, unless completely necessary. I have had a lot of mental health problems (eating disorders & anxiety) and a lot of nutritional/gut problems (probably caused by that) and I just don't like anything, really, that changes the way my body works. I also recently gave up coffee for this reason. I'm trying to "tune in" and listen to my body, so to speak, and I do not at all like the way drugs alter things subtly.
When DS was born, I chose Mirena for 2 simple reasons: 1) I was very young and very broke and very scared of having another baby anytime soon and 2) I was very poorly informed. I had it removed when he was 18 months so that we could TTC (February '10). I haven't used any BC since that time. DD was born Jan '11, my cycle returned Jan '12, and since then I've been charting and praying we don't get pregnant. I did get pregnant in February, and MC around 7 weeks. Since then, I've had a hard time gathering my wits and my emotions and my time trying to get this sorted. I'm so overwhelmed by not being able to make this decision, and really not wanting to be pregnant again, that I've flat out told DH we're abstinent until I figure this out!
I am doing a thorough job charting but I just feel like my body is completely unpredictable right now. My cycle is short, really, really short, my ovulation day and days spent actually bleeding keeps changing and I just feel like I can't keep up.
At first, I was leaning toward Paragard because it's 1) an IUD and highly reliable for preventing pregnancy, 2) long-term and 3) compatible with breastfeeding. Then I started reading and I swear everyone out there has got a Paragard horror story! Has anyone used it and been glad they did?
Anyone? A recommendation in this situation? A birth control you have used for awhile and are happy with? Help, please! TIA.
Sleepy, running, wife to DH 08/09 - Mama to DS 8/08 & DD 1/11
"Vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare. " - Japanese Proverb
Remember there is a bias in what information you find about birth control methods, or any medical treatment, or really pretty much anything. People who are upset tend to be more likely to share their stories than those that are satisfied. My understanding is that most people who try ParaGard are satisfied with it. I had one for 2 years (took it out to TTC) and didn't have any problems. I agree that every method of birth control has its drawbacks... it's frustrating. I hope you can find an idea you can make peace with. Are barrier methods an option?
I would still chart, but instead of using TCOYF and going it alone, I would work with an instructor. No matter how well you feel you've taught yourself, it still helps to have somone who has gone through a lot of training look at your charts. They can do everything: help you interpret your chart, decide which rules to follow, recommend nutritional fixes for cycle problems, and even refer you to cutting-edge medical care if you require it. There are many methods to chose from, and instructors can work with you in person, by phone, or online. I myself can vouch for the long distance option. There are options for financial assistance with nearly every instructor if you need it, too. There are tons of resources over at the CTA thread to help you find a method and teacher...there is also tons of help, support, and advice if you so need!
Wife to DH from Mexico, and mother to DD (01/10); DS (09/11); and one on the way (03 or 04/14)
I completely understand where you are coming from. This pregnancy has been really hard on my body and both DH and I are feeling done. Neither of us is comfortable with a permanent solution as there are potential side effects that aren't fixable.
I'm also leaning towards Paraguard. We've used NFP very successfully (never had an accident) but we both find it to be miserable for various reasons. We have small children and own a business, there's enough getting in the way of our sex life without adding NFP to the mix.
I can't use any hormonal BC either so Paraguard is the only thing I can find that is extremely reliable without hormones but as you said, there's no shortage of horror stories. I also agree with the PP though that people who are upset are more likely to speak up. It's such a difficult decision!
Mama to DS (6/07) , DD (6/09) , and DD (07/12) ..
Why didn't you like Mirena? Did you have a bad reaction to it or is it a philosophical desire to avoid hormones? FWIW the dose is extremely low.
Me, DH, DD1 (2009), DD2 (2011), and DS (2015).
I'm not crunchy. I'm evidence-based.
Vaccines save lives.
Katie - Married to Mike 06/02/01, Mom to Sydney Anne born 11/21/09 and Alice Maeryn & Oliver Thomas born 04/24/13
is the paraguard the copper IUD that's hormone free? I have heard good things about it as well. I think there is always a risk in anything like that, so of course there are some women with bad experiences. To be honest, i know it seems kinda irresponsible, but DH and I have always used NFP combined with pulling out. it has worked successfully for us for 7 years - until the month we decided to 'play it unsafe' and see if we got pregnant. we did, and now we have a 5 month old. now we are still pulling out because i am depending on my body to keep my cycle away - i am following ecological breastfeeding as closely as possible. not sure if it's related, but women in my family tend not to get their periods back after pregnancy for at least a year, and he is a professional at pulling out and since it's worked for 7 years i am hoping it will continue to work. i am not prepared to be on the pill either, but i do realize i am gambling. so i think the above poster had a good idea of combining condoms with NFP. i think we might do that until DS is a little older, just to play it extra safe.
love of DH and mama to DS born 1/12