Did you plan your pregnancy(ies)? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 29 Old 04-19-2004, 02:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
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We planned our pregnancy with DD . . .it was so easy then, as DH and I both worked (read: insurance).

Now DD is 2, and I'm feeling like it's time to be pregnant again, but everything is wrong . . .DH's jobs are very unsteady (he gets contract work) and we pay for our own insurance (no maternity coverage). Plus, DH and I have been fiesty with each other through the unemployment issues. I'm going to be 31 in August, so I feel like the clock is ticking.

Having a baby would complicate things SO much (the lack of insurance and the fact that I wouldn't even consider working with a newborn). I feel like a mess about this. Sometimes I wish an "oops" would happen, but at the same time I'm relieved.

 2/02, 4/05, 2/07, 11/09, and EDD 12/25/11 wave.gif

 

 

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#2 of 29 Old 04-19-2004, 03:53 PM
 
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Our first and second where kinda planned as in now would be nice but didnt know if I could get preggo. Found that i had to have progesterone to get and stay preggo so it was easy to plan.


This preganancy is an oops. We had just made all sorts of plans for the next 4 or so years and they did not include a baby. We found out about the baby Feb 15 and have had to change all plans and buy a house.

I am a SAHM so its much easier for me than you if you have to work. Dh has a steady job but his insurance doesnt cover our HB but things are going to be tight $$ wise as all our saving where used up to get us into this house.

I must say I really do love an OOPs, rather fun
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#3 of 29 Old 04-20-2004, 08:53 AM
 
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Both of my kids were an "oops!". Happy ones, but oops! nonetheless.

I would like to maybe have a pg that is planned, but knowing my husband that probably won't happen. He wants more kids, but he gets very analytical about things, and if he has to *plan* another baby, nothing will ever be "right enough" and we'll never have one. So I guess if we're going to have any more they'll have to be an oops! too.
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#4 of 29 Old 04-20-2004, 08:55 AM
 
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Yes, our daughter was planned, right down to her Sun sign.
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#5 of 29 Old 04-20-2004, 09:49 AM
 
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My first child was kind of unplanned. I was totally ready to start trying but my husband was not ready. We were planning to start trying in a few months and were using VCF (Vaginal Contraceptive Film- a spermicide) as protection. Well, it failed. I was so thrilled but it took my husband a while to get used to it. He was pretty freaked out for a few months.

This time it was planned.

Chrissy, lucky mama to Noah (9), Lilah (6), Rowan (3) and Laney (1).
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#6 of 29 Old 04-20-2004, 07:09 PM
 
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How about neither unplanned or planned. OK #1 wasn't so much planned at all but #2 and #3 were of the "do we want to do something about this or not?" : Oh I don't know, well talk about it tomarrow, lets have sex now though."

The truest answer to violence is love. The truest answer to death is life. The only prevention for violence is for the heart to have no violence within it.  We cannot prevent evil through any system devised by mankind. But we can grapple with evil and defeat it, but only with love—real love.

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#7 of 29 Old 04-20-2004, 07:17 PM
 
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#1 was an "opps", but very much wanted and anticipated. #2 was planned, but not because it was the "right time", but because he was wanted and the chips would fall where they may. I recently found out I am pregnant, and it was a "let not try not too and see what happens", but was not specifically planned. It is an o.k. time, but the baby is wanted and if we are going to have them we should get to it. The first two are almost exactly 5 years apart (give or take a few weeks), and I am due in Dec., so the second two will be almost 5 years apart as well.

Mama to three small people; wife to one big person; pet-person to cats and dogs..."Be the change you want to see in the world"-- Gandhi
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#8 of 29 Old 04-21-2004, 03:17 PM
 
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Kinda and yes. :LOL

I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that I was fertile on the night that Eli was concieved. Mike came home from work uncharicteristically eager that evening, and I told him flat out that I was definately fertile and that it was no night to be messing around without birth control (we were using a diaphragm at the time). I told him that if he wasn't ready to be a Daddy he needed to go take a cold shower instead. He said he didn't care. :LOL And so we have our EliBean!

With NewBean, we started TTC 5 cycles before we got pregnant. I did not want to be pregnant over the summer again (who knew I'd be freezing this pregnancy?? :LOL) and we wanted to have four children before Mike turns 40, so this was right on schedule, but we got pregnant a teensy bit later than we'd initially planned.

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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#9 of 29 Old 04-21-2004, 07:19 PM
 
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DS: Happy oops

DD: Very much planned, got pg during first cycle trying

#3 (due in sept.): Another happy oops!
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#10 of 29 Old 04-21-2004, 07:23 PM
 
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#1 and #2 we decided 'when it happens, it happens' and didn't try, didn't avoid. With #3, we were using b/c (also VCF- not very effective) and on the fence to have a 3rd or not when I became pg. Guess that decision was taken right out of our hands....

Michelle -mom to Katlyn 4/00 , Jake 3/02, and Seth 5/04
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#11 of 29 Old 04-21-2004, 07:37 PM
 
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Planned...

Both times it took 3 cycles to conceive. I think an OOPS! would be fun, and it may be the only way I get to be a momma a third time since dh is undecided on whether he wants more.

I'll convince him or pray the condom breaks.
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#12 of 29 Old 04-21-2004, 07:44 PM
 
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Oh... I wanted to add. When we were going to start ttc'ing for our second baby, dh lost his job. It took him three months to find another job and we started ttc'ing as soon as he was hired even though we weren't insured. All in all, ds was born about six months after I had hoped. I used state insurance until his work insurance kicked in (which turned out to have a $900 deductible and wasn't worth anything anyway). I ended up switching to a midwife for a homebirth and we paid for the birth with our tax refund. I quit work three weeks before ds was born... no way I could work with two kids.

It all worked out in the end... I hope things work out for you!!
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#13 of 29 Old 04-22-2004, 12:44 AM
 
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We have 2 very uinexpected surprises (and 2 unexpected spirit babes in between them)

We were married 5 months when I ofund out I was pg with Tracy. He was 6 months old when I found out about our second pg. Tracy was 11 months when I found out about our 3rd pg. Tracy was 13 months when I found out about Bryce.

We never plan anything

Single Mom to 2 amazing little men. T(7) and B(5)
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#14 of 29 Old 04-26-2004, 08:07 PM
 
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Yes and no. LOL

We tried a few years for our first. It happened at a really strange time in my life. Our second we adopted, so definitely planned! Our third was a complete shock because we didnt think we could have more biological children. We are planning the fourth (and maybe last)
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#15 of 29 Old 04-28-2004, 11:58 PM
 
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Oh yes, they were both planned and both gotten on the 1st try!

Jennifer, LPN and nursing student, Doula, CPST, and VBAC mama x3 to
AJ (5/03), Evan (12/04), Ilana (11/06), Olivia (2/09), and Unity (8/2012)

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#16 of 29 Old 05-10-2004, 09:45 PM
 
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Our ds wasn't "planned" but he wasn't an "oops" either. We just decided to let it happen.

Best thing we ever did.
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#17 of 29 Old 05-10-2004, 09:48 PM
 
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I tried to plan but my babies had other plans.
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#18 of 29 Old 05-11-2004, 09:54 PM
 
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#1- "Do you want to use something? Let's talk about it later. MMmmmmm"
#2- "I want an embryo for Christmas." (And I got one!)

Midwife (CPM, LDM) and homeschooling mama to:
13yo ds   10yo dd  8yo ds and 6yo ds and 1yo ds  
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#19 of 29 Old 05-13-2004, 01:26 PM
 
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Both were planned. Any future ones are already being planned down to what month to TTC. I am too much of a control freak for anything else. :P

Dee, mama to Robin , Wren , Finch and baby Lark born 12/27!
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#20 of 29 Old 05-16-2004, 03:12 AM
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dd-oops
dd-planned
ds-planned
no more
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#21 of 29 Old 05-26-2004, 10:02 AM
 
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DD #1 - Not planned, but not unplanned - just didn't use anything

DD #2 - Planned

DD #3 - same as Number 1 - but I took it much, much harder.

We're planning on TTC #4 this fall to make a summer baby for 2005.
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#22 of 29 Old 05-26-2004, 10:15 AM
 
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Our dd was unplanned, in 2001, and our son, born 2-20-04 was planned.
Our dd has just turned 2 at the time and we felt we were ready for another one.
We are lucky to get pregnant very easily and pretty much on the first try, so
we are deciding now if we'll carefully plan the next one or if we'll just "let it be"...
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#23 of 29 Old 06-03-2004, 12:54 PM
 
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Ds was planned, we TTC'ed for 5 months before getting our embro . We are planning our next for when DS is about 4 or 5 and two children will be it for us. We both work FT so with paying for DC I need to plan financially. As soon as we get the second car paid off we will start TTC'ing again. (tax returns are spoken for the next 2 or 3 years )
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#24 of 29 Old 06-03-2004, 05:18 PM
 
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#1 ds not planned (I took a year off before college to "find myself" - but found him instead :LOL )

This baby #2 was planned after I was preg. We had talked about it but hadn't TTC in earnest.
DH and I were on holiday in BC and he decides he want's to conceive right NOW! we had a really fun 4 days and then on the drive home I see the full moon and realize I had totally miscalc'd the dates and was alreay a week late. My honey works fast!
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#25 of 29 Old 06-03-2004, 08:56 PM
 
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to the OP ~

my first was completely unplanned. i was told i'd never be able to have kids, i didn't want kids, i had been on birth control, etc etc.

then along came a baby!

at the time i was a pro-life activist and although i was 17, lined up for scholarships, a great college, and was an honor roll student and had an excellent GPA... i decided to have the baby and be a mom. it was hard, but we made it work (and i'm so glad i made that choice!!)

then we decided to try for another one... started actively trying... then my SO lost his job, we got financially unstable, i went back to school ~ and shortly after discovered baby #2 was on the way. :LOL not really planned ~ that is, we didn't plan to have her in the middle of such insane economic hardship ~ but at exactly the time i had hoped for (so she and my son would be about as far apart as my sister and i are, which i always wanted). after a great deal of stress and more financial problems... we've worked out a lot and even though money is really tight and we're not where i'd like in terms of steady income, etc., things really are working out. i feel that if you believe in your ability to make things work, and take life as it comes, you'll see possibilities that you never knew existed before.
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#26 of 29 Old 06-03-2004, 09:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I was the OP, and now our situation has changed . . .

We decided to start TTC in May because we decided all the financial/insurance stuff would work itself out. My cycles had been weird, so I was a little concerned.

Then, DH got a job mid-May . . .a good job with insurance . . .but at that moment, I knew TTC was going to be difficult. (I can be very fatalistic!) I had started charting that month, and soon realized I have a progesterone deficiency. :

I know I haven't walked the difficult TTC path that some have, but now I'm a firm believer in "if ya want a baby, try ASAP because the sooner, the easier!"

 2/02, 4/05, 2/07, 11/09, and EDD 12/25/11 wave.gif

 

 

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#27 of 29 Old 06-03-2004, 10:05 PM
 
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Ours were all the result of us joking about getting/being pregnant:

I had a miscarriage and three weeks later dh and I took a weekend off to just have fun and not worry about anything for a while. After a romantic night in the jacuzzi suite of a nice hotel (we forgot the condoms!), we went to get tattoos. When signing the forms, I got to the one that asks if you're pregnant. I checked no and signed the form, then turned to my dh and said, "Wouldn't it be funny if I was?" He laughed. 9 months later we had ds#1.

Ds#2 was kinda planned...we didn't actively try, but we didn't prevent. We bought a house and when moving in I joked with my dh that buying a house was "how" my sister got pregnant with her first dd. I said, "Wouldn't it be funny if...." 9 months later we had ds#2.

We announced my pregnancy with ds#2 at Thanksgiving dinner at my in-laws (out of state). The next year my dh had to work during Thanksgiving, so we couldn't go. The following year, as we were planning our trip to PA for Thanksgiving, I said, "Wouldn't it be funny if we had an announcement to make again this year?" My dh laughed then said we absolutely wouldn't have an announcement (we had decided to wait 4-5 yrs to have a third child). We found out about a month before our trip that we were indeed going to be making an announcement! (DD was born when ds#2 was 23 months old...oops!)

I'm no longer allowed to say, "Wouldn't it be funny if...."

Mama to A (12), Z (11), H (9), C (5), A (3) and 4 angels. 

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#28 of 29 Old 06-03-2004, 10:08 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mom2threenurslings

I'm no longer allowed to say, "Wouldn't it be funny if...."
:

Rynna, Mama to Bean (8), Boobah (6), Bella (4) and Bear (2)
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#29 of 29 Old 06-06-2004, 08:23 PM
 
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DS#1 was planned and it took 10 months TTC.

DS#2 was planned and it took the first month of TTC!

Hubby does not want any more but I want another so I'm hoping for a future "oops"
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