My husband and I have been married for 4.5 months (together for 4 years). We own our house, we both have stable jobs, we've both completed our desired education, and I am starting to get really excited about having kids.
Problem is, our home is only a two-bedroom home and my husband has a son who stays with us 3 days a week--meaning, we don't have a spare bedroom. We purchased our house at the best opportunity, so our payment is REALLY low. If we were to move into a bigger house, our payment would definitely be much higher and that wouldn't leave us feeling financially comfortable with trying for a baby.
I'm sure I'm not the first one to be in this predicament, so what's the best thing to do? Space is my only concern with seriously trying to add to our family.
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It can be surprising how much children don't care about the size of a home. I grew up with 5 siblings in a 960 sq ft home and couldn't have been happier with it. The Hubby and I are wanting to build a tiny house when we finally get property. The house plans we're looking at are 404 sq ft with a loft.
Co-sleeping or room sharing are totally viable options.
SAHM to DS BuggaBoo 12/07, and DD Doozer 03/10. Sharing life with The Hubby since 01/05.
Our house isn't as small as yours, but with baby 3 on the way, our kids won't all be getting their own room. I think in the long-term our house is a good fit for us, and I don't have the energy to move any time soon. So here's our plan:
- Baby will have a crib in our room and will do a combination of bed-sharing and crib sleeping for the 1st year or so.
- Our daughters will transition over the next year or so from each having their own bedroom to having a sleeping room (bunk beds?) and a play room.
- When baby sleeps without disturbing his or her sisters, he or she can join them in the sleeping room.
- When the kids start wanting more privacy, we'll make decisions about whether or not we need a play room, who should share based on age/gender/personality, and whether or not my husband and I should sleep in the basement for a while.
My husband is one of six kids, and the family of eight lived in a three bedroom, one bath house (My in-laws still live there). For a while, my in-laws slept in the garage so that the oldest girl could have her own room. We won't need to be that crowded, as this is our last baby (so we're planning). My husband didn't enjoy those living conditions, but he certainly doesn't think they did him any harm.
DD Jayde 2005
DS William 2007
DD Lilleigh 2008
DS Edward 2010
DS Mikah 2012
Due July 2013
Family of 6 in a 3B 2.5B house. For a long time all 6 of us were in 2B. It works, ideal? Of course not, but hey, life always isn't such! Kids don't "need" a space of their own for a long time. My 3.5 year old just has a dresser, all his toys exist in our living room. Eventually we will have to spilt up the two older girls because one of these days, I expect to wake up to one of them murdering the other one in their sleep. Sigh. Long term plans have us possibly turning our garage into more sleeping space to make that happen.
Both of my kids coslept for about 2 years-my dd had a room set up with a crib that was 99% unused that whole time, but I didn't even get my ds his own crib/bed until he was 2 :) Point being, you may not need to make this decision immediately.
Is sharing a room an option for your future baby and stepson? We have a blended family as well, so I know the dynamics can be a little tricky there in terms of a possible larger age difference and wanting him to have his own space at your home, but in a 2 bedroom house with 2 kids, sharing a room seems like an inevitability, KWIM? We have a 3-bed house with 3 kids, so right now the two little ones (my kids with dp) do share and my stepdaughter has her own room, but eventually we do plan to have her and my daughter share once the boy-girl sharing gets to be an issue with my son (still a few years down the road). Dp would really like all the kids to have their own rooms, but it is less important to me. If you are planning on having more than 1 more child, then more romos might be in order.
FWIW our house is less than 1000 sq ft for 5 people and a largish dog and it is just fine :)
I have the same concern trying for #3. But we live in a 3 bedroom home, ds1 has his own room, ds2 and daddy co-sleep most nights, which would leave baby and me to co-sleep in the master bedroom. just hard when the little ones all get bigger and want a place of there own to put there things and it not being fair they all go in to ds1's room and him not wanting the littlies in there touching his things.... You make it work. ANd I would highly recommend bedsharing. it makes nights your new babe so much easier.
Thank you all for your responses! My biggest fear was that it wouldn't be "fair" to my future baby if he/she didn't have his/her own room. But after reading all these replies, I feel much better--like I actually can start planning to grow my family! :)
Glad your feeling better about expanding your family! When DS1 was born we lived in a TINY 2 bd apartment. The baby technically had his own room, but we never used it because like many, we co-slept. Babies don't really need their own space unless you want them to. You are already way ahead of where DH and I were when we became parents (as to income and education and even length of being together!) and we've come along way in 6.5 yrs. Best of luck to you as you begin to plan for a baby :).
Jean, feminist mama raising three boys: W (7), E (5) and L (2.15.13)
You know, there is actually great potential to just expand on to our current house--our lot is HUGE and we definitely don't need all of the oversized back yard we currently have. :)
We are currently living in base housing. We are a family of 5 living in approximately 1100sqft 3 bed room home. We are currently looking at houses since we are getting out and will need a permanent home. We are looking for a 4 or 5 bedroom home but only because my mother will be moving in with us, my 15yr old step daughter will be spending extended amounts of time with AND we are planning on having at least one more child. If it were not for all of these things I would be perfectly happy in the house I am in right now. My two oldest share a room AND they chose to share a bed, they are extremely close to each other and I believe it is a direct result of them sharing a room.
My mother was #5 of 6 children. They lived with their parents in an approximately 1400 sq ft house and all the kids shared two bedrooms at one point. :) I think it makes kids be better people overall.