Charting to Avoid--SPRING 2013 - Page 6 - Mothering Forums

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#151 of 166 Old 07-25-2013, 12:02 PM
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Congratulations on the baby, mt_gooseberry! I hope you feel better soon!

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#152 of 166 Old 07-25-2013, 04:35 PM
 
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Originally Posted by vrclay View Post

A little off topic, but this has been weighing heavy on my heart and I thought some ladies here might have some wisdom to share.  I started CTA following a miscarraige.  I got pregnant while using the Nuvaring.  I had learned charting back in college when I was abstaining as my preferred method of pregnancy prevention. 

 

Fast forward to life after 2 children, both with high risk pregnancies requiring 4-5 months of bed rest each time.  After my period returned with my youngest (he was baout 9 months old) I went on the Nuva Ring.  It was convienient, but every month when it was time to insert it, I felt a twinge of reluctance.  I used it for 16 months and then during the course of what seemed like a normal period, I passed fetal tissue.  I knew immediately what I was looking at and my heart broke.  Never again, so I started charting.  My husband was more or less understanding but somewhat brfuddled that the hormaonal method could fail.

 

If it were totally up to him, he would have had the vasectomy after our 2nd child.  I just can't get on board with anything permanant.  I just think it is not our place to mess with what nature intended.  I think some of this is also influenced by our own childhood and family of origin.  He is one of two children and his father had a vasecotmy at 28, after having my SIL.  I'm one of six and my parents never indicated htat another child was viewed as a burdon or problem.  But that was a different time I suppose.

 

So here we are wondering if we should add another child to our family.  I've always had this feeling that I would have 3 children.  With the miscarraige, I do have three kids - I suppose.  I am torn.  We have sufficient financial resources to add a child to our family but there will be sacrafices. 

 

The sacrifice as I see it would be not sending our children to Catholic School.  My oldest is about to start Catholic School and while it will be less expensive than full-time child care, it will not free up enough income for infant child care.  My husband sometimes suggests I quit my job and stay home as a way around this but I do like my job, I've figured out how to balance work and kids and my biggest fear is not being able to re-enter the workforce when I want to.  We would also forgo my retimerment/govt pension savings while I was at home.

 

So I am blathering on but after going round and round in my head, it all comes back to this - Are we supposed to have 2 kids and send them to Catholic School or three kids and send them to public school?  I wish it didn't feel like such an either/or decision but it does. 


Any wisdom, advice and prayers are appreciated.

Talk to the school. My parents both work for the Catholic schools and generally (or at least in our area) enrollment is down to a point where, they'd rather give a scholarship to a person who can't afford the whole thing, than have someone NOT be in that spot. 

 

Here's the thing mama- what my doula told me, if it keeps barging into your thoughts, definitely consider it. 


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#153 of 166 Old 07-25-2013, 04:37 PM
 
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Ok, here's my problem with charting to avoid. I"m not menstruating. Do I just start temping and see if I see a pattern? 

I'm also currently having... i'm not sure its my first PP period. Its very very very light. What I would consider "break through bleeding" what I"d have like the last day day and 1/2 of my "normal" cycle. This is the first time i've "bled" since the lochia ended. Babe is going to be 1 on the 3rd. 

:) 

I'm excited to use charting to avoid, because then when we do start to TTC #3- it'll be quick. hopefully. LOL 


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We're a co-sleeping, extended breast feeding, cloth diapering , baby and toddler wearing family!

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Zeisel 08/2012 15 hour labor, completely natural hospital water birth. 

 

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#154 of 166 Old 07-26-2013, 11:11 AM
 
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Originally Posted by ilovetchotchkes View Post

Ok, here's my problem with charting to avoid. I"m not menstruating. Do I just start temping and see if I see a pattern? 

I'm also currently having... i'm not sure its my first PP period. Its very very very light. What I would consider "break through bleeding" what I"d have like the last day day and 1/2 of my "normal" cycle. This is the first time i've "bled" since the lochia ended. Babe is going to be 1 on the 3rd. 

:) 

I'm excited to use charting to avoid, because then when we do start to TTC #3- it'll be quick. hopefully. LOL 

you can temp, or chart mucus.  temping doesn't do much good in predicting ovulation.  

 

do you check cervical position?  in 'Taking Charge of Your Fertility'- TCOYF, she recommends 2 out of three signs to chart effectively.  i use mucus and then temps to confirm.  cervical position has been my default check, but i prefer not doing internal exams! 

 

mt_gooseberry- you were TOTALLY here for me!  i hope you stick around.  i want to hang out where you do for sure.  but i'm not expecting to end up in a due date club.  congrats.  CONGRATS!  i'm so excited for you.  good to know that the rules ARE important.  i've taken to paranoia since everytime i'm like 'not now, it's not a good idea, ooooooh okay'  ends up meaning i'm going to be pregnant.  mornings and afternoons are TOTALLY out, which means we're having a tough time since we're both so exhausted at bedtime that we rarely connect at all!  we need to get houseguests out, but that will be another month.

 

vrclay-

it's hard to make a decision, but i find that things work out.  pray about it, and make the decision that makes your heart happy.  logically, we shouldn't have had five, but it's really been way easier than we could have ever expected.  and while i'm a SAHM, and work for farms for food, it's been a real joy each time and i know i wouldn't have been happy w/out each of my little ones.


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#155 of 166 Old 07-29-2013, 10:03 PM
 
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Hi everyone, can I join? I didn't know there was a charting to avoid club! I have been charting since 2008 and used charts to conceive in son (and 3 losses) and to avoid in the other times. I would really like to have another baby but the thought of being pregnant after those losses gives me sooo much anxiety. I am not going to try again until I feel like I can handle it somewhat rationally - and it feels like that will never happen.

 

Anyway, here is my chart link. Last month I had a big dip and spike on 8-9 dpo and was pretty nervous. Luckily, I got my period today. 

http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/3b2585

We've been doing FAM and using condoms on fertile days, but I am certain at least one of my pregnancies was a condom failure, so I am starting to be uncomfortable with that. I would rather abstain but my husband thinks it is over-the-top to do that (as if he has any idea how stressful 2WW can be). 

 

Does anyone else who has had losses feel like charting keeps your fertility too much at the forefront of your mind? I would really like to get on birth control and forget about it all, but birth control makes me feel yucky and I won't. Taking my temp and watching my cervical fluid and everything keeps me all to aware of my very fertile body that doesn't hold on to pregnancies well...

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#156 of 166 Old 07-30-2013, 02:12 PM
 
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Hi everyone, can I join? I didn't know there was a charting to avoid club! I have been charting since 2008 and used charts to conceive in son (and 3 losses) and to avoid in the other times. I would really like to have another baby but the thought of being pregnant after those losses gives me sooo much anxiety. I am not going to try again until I feel like I can handle it somewhat rationally - and it feels like that will never happen.

 

Anyway, here is my chart link. Last month I had a big dip and spike on 8-9 dpo and was pretty nervous. Luckily, I got my period today. 

http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/3b2585

We've been doing FAM and using condoms on fertile days, but I am certain at least one of my pregnancies was a condom failure, so I am starting to be uncomfortable with that. I would rather abstain but my husband thinks it is over-the-top to do that (as if he has any idea how stressful 2WW can be). 

 

Does anyone else who has had losses feel like charting keeps your fertility too much at the forefront of your mind? I would really like to get on birth control and forget about it all, but birth control makes me feel yucky and I won't. Taking my temp and watching my cervical fluid and everything keeps me all to aware of my very fertile body that doesn't hold on to pregnancies well...

hug2.gif

 

i've had 2 losses, and i did think it was hard b/c one was so early that if i hadn't been charting, i wouldn't have even known.  it was rather devastating for us.  my other one was easier, and i can't explain why, but i felt peace before i lost the LO, and it was still really life-changing.

 

i think birth control, kind of like antidepressants, seems easier.  but it's not, when you're actually doing it, because it doesn't solve the problem.  i think for me, my fertility is always at the forefront of my mind, and birth control pills didn't work well for me.  my cycles kind of just ignored it, and i was changing prescriptions every 3 months, except for a progesterone only pill.  but that was way scarier b/c when i didn't bleed and i was supposed to, and had horrible hormonal imbalances, it was scary in harder way for me.  

 

give your husband some time.  i had one condom fail (DD2, day 35 of cycle), and also the 2WW is pretty tough on my husband when i'm freaking out, so he's actually warmed up (ha, as if.  but it's true, just in a hard to explain way) to abstinence for our peace of mind and peace of marriage.  also, reading up on the big V, which is the only other option to charting that he'll consider, he's decided that abstinence and charting aren't that hard.  

 

welcome~


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#157 of 166 Old 07-30-2013, 09:28 PM
 
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hug2.gif

 

i've had 2 losses, and i did think it was hard b/c one was so early that if i hadn't been charting, i wouldn't have even known.  it was rather devastating for us.  my other one was easier, and i can't explain why, but i felt peace before i lost the LO, and it was still really life-changing.

 

i think birth control, kind of like antidepressants, seems easier.  but it's not, when you're actually doing it, because it doesn't solve the problem.  i think for me, my fertility is always at the forefront of my mind, and birth control pills didn't work well for me.  my cycles kind of just ignored it, and i was changing prescriptions every 3 months, except for a progesterone only pill.  but that was way scarier b/c when i didn't bleed and i was supposed to, and had horrible hormonal imbalances, it was scary in harder way for me.  

 

give your husband some time.  i had one condom fail (DD2, day 35 of cycle), and also the 2WW is pretty tough on my husband when i'm freaking out, so he's actually warmed up (ha, as if.  but it's true, just in a hard to explain way) to abstinence for our peace of mind and peace of marriage.  also, reading up on the big V, which is the only other option to charting that he'll consider, he's decided that abstinence and charting aren't that hard.  

 

welcome~

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. This is all just what I need to hear. 

And your big V comment made me laugh! 

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#158 of 166 Old 08-01-2013, 01:34 PM
 
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May I please join this thread? I currently CTA as well as  use BC. I'm a lil paranoid as I've gotten pregnant with all of the BC I've tried but thought I would try just one more time. I'm SOOO paranoid of getting pregnant because it seems I'm of the 2% who are able to get pregnant on BC. So I chart because of that minimal "just in case it fails" in the back of my mind. I'm staunchly against getting pregnant right now and my partner and I do not want any more children for awhile if at all, we both have children from previous relationships. But I'd just like to be able to talk to people who can relate to my needs and reasons for not wanting any more babies.


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#159 of 166 Old 08-07-2013, 10:56 PM
 
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Hi ladies,

I am loving reading your comments!!

I am in my sixth cycle charting after the birth of DD#2. So far, so good smile.gif! Only problem is I think I'm pregnant *every* month smile.gif!

I have also had several BC failures. Though luckily, never a loss. In the case of DD2, I had just started charting after my first PPAF with DD1, and I was checking both CM and temp and am pretty sure of O day; she was conceived either due to a condom failure 4 days before temp rise (though all seemed well and we actually used it perfectly, something we sometimes are lax about these days), or due to unprotected sex 3 days before that. Either way, I'm a little paranoid... And I got pregnant before while taking the pill.

Hubby wants to get the big V (bless him smile.gif!) but I'm really not ready for something so final. And I'm just generally not so wild about him doing it. I'm really hoping that CTA can be a longtime solution for us. But honestly I'm also secretly praying half the time for a mistake...and this particular method is definitely not good if you're waffling about whether to have another smile.gif.

It's hard to have your fertility at the forefront if your mind while trying to squelch a baby bug, kwim? But I am also loving getting to know my body a little better.

This forum has been a great support so far and I love hearing about you ladies!

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#160 of 166 Old 08-08-2013, 12:09 PM
 
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Hubby wants to get the big V (bless him smile.gif!) but I'm really not ready for something so final. And I'm just generally not so wild about him doing it. I'm really hoping that CTA can be a longtime solution for us. But honestly I'm also secretly praying half the time for a mistake...and this particular method is definitely not good if you're waffling about whether to have another smile.gif.

It's hard to have your fertility at the forefront if your mind while trying to squelch a baby bug, kwim? But I am also loving getting to know my body a little better.

This forum has been a great support so far and I love hearing about you ladies!

this is how i feel too!  

 

we'll see how long i go before baby fever kicks in again... usually about now at 6m pp.  no cycles yet, but body tried last week.... 

 

Sweetmama26- what kind of BC are you using? what kind of charting?  welcome!


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#161 of 166 Old 08-26-2013, 08:42 AM
 
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Well ladies, I'm late. Not very late at all and AF will probably make her appearance today at some inopportune time wink1.gif, but I just had fo say it out loud to someone!! I have been charting for six cycles now and my luteal phase is always 11-12 days; AF usually starts day 12 and I often have spotting on day 11. But here I am at 14 DPO.

I don't know how I could be pregnant though!! Hubby and I abstained from CD 12, sticky CM started CD 15 and I had my temp rise on day 21 (very typical for me). We DTD 1 DPO using a condom and then again using withdrawal (but hubby urinated and cleaned off and pulled out well before the end) and then started DTD unprotected at 3 DPO. My guess is 1DPO would be our culprit. But I was already creamy/sticky for days by then. EW stopped CD 19. How could the little guys get up there in time? I know it's possible, of course.

I tested this am and was negative of course. I'll test again in a few days. I am finding myself really hoping for a positive, but of course it would be crazy too, with a 2-year-old and 4-year-old already and hubby saying he's done...

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#162 of 166 Old 08-26-2013, 10:04 AM
 
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*hug*

 

I thought I might be pregnant this month and had rationalized that it would be a good thing and then AF.  I had to phone my friend and let her know that I was not pregnant.  Sometimes we have to share.  I too have a 2 and 4 year old.  We would like to wait a bit longer so I could lose more weight and be healthier.  I hope it works out how you want.

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#163 of 166 Old 08-26-2013, 02:28 PM
 
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BallardBaby- excited and curious over here!!!  

 

I thought i had an ovulation (6 months PP) but am now 16 days out from possible ovulation, negative test (though it wouldn't have been possible if i did ovulate when the chart said i may have), and no sign of AF.  this is the longest PP phase w/out ovulation yet!!!

 

4 and 2 and new isn't a bad gap at all!  i have a lot more than than, and closer..... wild.gif

 

i'm definitely on this forum b/c i don't have anyone in my life who charts or gets charting, so i can't call and talk about things like this!!!  even w/ my mother, i mention a long mucus patch, or a late ovulation, etc, and she gets all confused and quiet and says 'i never could figure out anything like that.  ever.  i didn't ever know i was pregnant for 2 or 3 months in.' and i feel completely flowersforyou.gif.

 

 

how are we still in spring?  i don't think i got linked over to summer, or what should now be FALL!!!!


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#164 of 166 Old 08-27-2013, 08:04 AM
 
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Thanks for your interest, guys! I tested again this morning and still neg...also still no AF. This is the one month that we were totally by the book and abstained for my entire "fertile" period (except post-o protected sex at 1dpo). So I am doubtful...

I should also warn you guys I'm one of those people who think I'm pg like every month wink1.gif. Though I've not been late before and not been pg.

HoP you sound more likely pregnant than me wink1.gif!

Truthfully, I would love another baby. And an honest oops is probably the only way ill get one wink1.gif, with DH being 100 percent done and me being able to see his point on all the million reasons two is a better choice for us...

But I really would love another. Baby, child and person. I love the dynamic of three....

But I'm trying not to feel this way right now as I don't want to be too sad when AF gets here. And I'm about 95 percent sure she will.

With both my daughters, I had neg tests for the first few days after expected AF. But I was also throwing up by now with both! So either I'm not pregnant or maybe there's a slight chance I'm having a boy wink1.gif!!

I am having a few symptoms: vivid dreams, headache and tons of energy. The latter was never a symptom for me before but I've read it can be.

If AF is still late in 2 days ill go get some FRERs. I've been testing with dollar store tests.

Sorry to clutter this CTA board with my (unlikely) pregnancy ramblings!

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#165 of 166 Old 08-27-2013, 10:03 AM
 
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BB - Sometimes you just have to get it out.

 

HouseOfPeace - I vote you to start the fall thread as mt_gooseberry is pregnant.

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#166 of 166 Old 08-27-2013, 08:45 PM
 
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Sooooo... Of course I took my kiddos and a friend's kid to the zoo today and when I finally got a chance to go potty myself (with all kiddos in the stall with me)... Guess who had made her appearance??! Never a dull moment around these parts.

Oh well. It's light but I'm assuming it's the real deal. I'm sad I won't be cuddling a teeny person in nine months, relieved I won't be battling morning sickness for the next 12 weeks, and glad I get to have a glass of wine tonight.

Thanks for the support, ladies. Promise I won't do it again next month wink1.gif.
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