will there ever be a "right" time? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 3 Old 06-23-2013, 10:24 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I havent posted for a while, and when i did it was usually under the step/blended family forum. DH and I have  grown so much in the past 7 years. we have really solidified ourselves as a family with my 2 step kids. we've come through court cases, major medical procedures, and DH graduated college. I just got back into school and am working towards the dream i left off of becoming a nurse. I know our lives our busy and we have lots on our plates but i am beginning to feel like i will have to make the choice to give up having my "own" baby. dh is almost 10 years older than me, and i just turned 25. we both work full time and run all over with the kids activities. I know if we keep working at it we could be debt free and own a house within 5 years. But... i want a baby. I feel like if we had one now i would be putting so much stress on us it would set us back to square one. But im afraid if we wait too much longer the kids wont even grow up with their sibling and dh might be too old to be the father he wants to be. I feel like i have to choose between my education and a baby, please let me know that we can have both? just feeling really frustrated right now.


Katie, Enjoying my time with my love Josh:, kiddos Kendel '01 and Xander '03 and our furry beast Sherman '08:
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#2 of 3 Old 06-23-2013, 10:35 AM
 
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Ultimately my dear, that choice can only be made by you. The right time is different for everyone. I went through my fall and spring semester pregnant before I decided to take a year off to breastfeed and care for our son before returning back to school. For me it is the right decision because this pregnancy was hard and exhausting. Kudos to working, multitasking women out there. I would barely have enough energy to read and complete assignments. I was sick the entire time and shudder to think how my older mature body could cope with a pregnancy. Again the choice is yours.
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#3 of 3 Old 07-01-2013, 06:56 PM
 
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Hi I know you posted over a week ago now but I'd love to jump in and let you know that while ultimately only you will know for sure if this is right it is of course something you CAN do.
I had two pregnancies whilst at uni and worked part time. DH is in the Army and we were not only posted away from all our family but he was deployed back to back overseas in East Timor and Afghanistan for 3 8 month long deployments all the while I was also raising two bubs 16 months apart. I wont lie it was hard BUT on the flip side we now have a gorgeous 9 year old girl and 8 year old boy who are I like to think are happy, well adjusted kids to show for it. No we don't own a house but we are rich in other ways. I like to think that when I'm old and they are grown it will be my memories that are my treasures not my possessions. By the way I finished my studies and graduated as a psychiatric nurse around 8 years ago.
We are now ttc #3 and today I also am confused as to whether to add this chaos (as beautiful as it may be) to our lives! DH is 30 and I am 29 and while life seems to be balancing itself out, something is missing but just like you I don't want too huge of an age gap. I am also confused about 'the right time' thing but just wanted to let you know you can indeed study, work and raise adjusted children. Just be prepared for the insaness of it all, lol. In your instance nursing is great as you can usually be more flexible with your working hours. Good luck, someone once said you never regret those children you have only those you didn't. Don't know if this helps any smile.gif
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