Any big families on here? How is life? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 7 Old 08-19-2013, 07:02 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I currently have one wonderful son.  We live on a big farm and I would love to homeschool.  My husband and I always thought we wanted three children, but now I am thinking we may want more.  I would love to hear from some mothers of many about how life is.  Do you get any free time?  Do you ever feel overwhelmed?  


V + E=baby G in 2012.  Rural Midwestern homesteaders going back to their roots.

“A child can teach an adult three things: to be happy for no reason, to always be busy with something, and to know how to demand with all his might that which he desires.” -Paulo Coelho 

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#2 of 7 Old 08-19-2013, 10:25 PM
 
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Depends on what constitutes a big family for you. I am a mama to 3 lovely kids, and am currently in a forced break while I finish nursing school. I am literally counting the days until I can have more. Started out wanting a ton of kids, like 10 or something, then had one and thought maybe 4 was enough. By baby no. 3 my relationship totally fell apart and so I've paused there. I know in my heart that I'll never feel "done" having children, and I'm at peace with that.

 

My kids are now 9, 8, and 6, and I'm so very excited to have a bunch more as soon as I am able to afford them. I've decided that basically once I start again, I'll just let my fertility decide how many I have. I'm 28 and will be 30 by the time it's feasible to get pregnant again. Will begin trying ASAP, and feel like 2-3 years between children is a good age difference. If my body decides differently, I'll change my plans. So maybe I'll have 6 total or something like that. Maybe 8. 

 

I do have plenty of free time, but my children are in elementary school and I've got every other weekend free of children(they spend every other weekend at their other parent's house). I don't really feel too overwhelmed ever, but I'm one of those crazy people that only feels that life is worth living when I've taken on slightly more than I can handle. My kids are so amazing. They adore each other and get along almost all of the time. For the summer they've been spending almost all of their time together.


Non Practicing Midwife, going back to school! Mamma to my 3 loves, living each day to the fullest.
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#3 of 7 Old 08-26-2013, 02:39 PM
 
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I have 5 kids, 7 and under.  Free time?  i must, i work for a farm, health counsel, private chef (gluten-free), and will admit my housekeeping is what suffers.  And I homeschool.  I guess I should say I have to homeschool to do this.

 

We have 'quiet' time in my house every day from 12:30-3pm.  For everyone.  baby is the only free ride.  school age kids read, younger kids nap, mama DOESN'T do housework then (and tries to avoid people coming over).

 

when we had a miscarriage before our first, it was the first time in our marriage that kids became a real possibility.  we then wanted a family.  we had one, and were so excited to try for two.  and then three and four snuck in on us.  but my pregnancies were so wonderful!  then we tried for number 5.  And i think we might be done.  But we totally wanted 5.  I wouldn't be opposed to 6, but I am rather tired of the baby phase, and being pregnant/breastfeeding/carrying infant.  I want to do more fun stuff w/ the older kids that I can't do b/c of the younger ones.  This has never ever bothered me before.  It's not like I would stop just because, but i hate labor, i have long hard labors, and while i recover well from childbirth, my last was a doozy.  

 

I love love love having a large family.  We don't live near family, and are both self-employed, so i can only imagine it would be easier if either of those situations were different.  

 

We're on a break- we want to wait 5 years and then see if we're up for another cluster.  maybe 10.  i'm giving myself leeway for a menopause baby.

 

I don't want to be fried, exhausted and not enjoy my children, but so far i've had grace to really enjoy each and every one of my 5.  i have many friends who want as many as they can have.  i don't have that call in my life, but i'm not saying others can't!


joy.gifSAHM and Holistic Health Counselor with  angel.gif 1/05, DS1 blahblah.gif 3/06, angel1.gif 5/07, DD1 dust.gif 3/08, DD2 thumbsuck.gif 11/09, DD3 energy.gif 4/11, and DS2 babyf.gif 2/13.  expecting a surprise stork-suprise.gif 8/14!
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#4 of 7 Old 08-26-2013, 02:59 PM
 
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I have four, and a husband who works away from home for extended periods.  We would like one more, but have had three miscarriages since the last child, so I'm not sure what's in the cards for us. 

Free time?  I have a bit more- and less- than I did before.  The first year with a new baby is always eaten up entirely by nursing, rocking, and attending to baby stuff. My kids are getting older- the youngest will be two in December, and is in the last hurrah of the clingy baby stage right now.  The older kids are old enough to flit in and out of the house to the backyard, and upstairs to play without direct supervision these days, and the freedom that allows is something I have, admittedly, missed over the past few years.  At the same time, we homeschool and are a very on top of each other sort of family.  Naps are memories of a bygone era for three of the kids (the almost 4 year old will nap a couple times a month, but if he does, he won't sleep at night) so there isn't the same built in break in the day there once was.  My oldest no longer has a bedtime, and is up until I am in bed most days, so that silence in the evening no longer exists either. 

As we move a bit further away from infancy,  I am more comfortable with the idea of maybe being done if we are not able to have another child naturally, so there will be no complex interventions in the cards, no RE, no heroic measures.  The chaos of older kids is different.  I have a little more space to breathe within the chaos, I have more time to find me again. The baby fog is lifting. Of course, I had three kids in just over three years, so it was a whirlwind. I would suggest a bigger spacing than just over a year, at any rate.  But I would be thrilled to have at least one more child. So apparently the exhaustion and chaos don't trump the fun and wonder of a big family- at least not yet for us. 

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#5 of 7 Old 08-26-2013, 03:10 PM
 
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We have 6... I guess I get enough free time. I don't really do girls night out or whatever, not my thing at all. Hubby is happy to watch the kids if I need to take a break. They also play a lot with each other and help watch the baby.

 

Overwhelmed? Depends on the day. Mostly when I do it is more other issues and not specifically the children themselves.


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#6 of 7 Old 08-26-2013, 05:20 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fruitfulmomma View Post

We have 6... I guess I get enough free time. I don't really do girls night out or whatever, not my thing at all. Hubby is happy to watch the kids if I need to take a break. They also play a lot with each other and help watch the baby.

 

Overwhelmed? Depends on the day. Mostly when I do it is more other issues and not specifically the children themselves.



All of this.  the dynamic of many is very different- they are involved with each other, and by the time you have a few, the oldest is old enough to be a big help so you can shower, or even eat three bites of food in a row.  

 

 

And I find myself in the same boat in terms of being overwhelmed.  When I am- even if it feels like it is the kids, it's something else going on and not just the kids. 

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#7 of 7 Old 09-10-2013, 01:24 PM
 
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I have 4 kids ages 7 yo girl 6 yo boy 4 yo girl 2 yo girl and i am currently expecting another little girl 32 weeks tomorrow i love having my kids close in age where they can grow with each other and be each others friends even though right know it seems like they are more like enemies lol but it never lasts very long they forgive and forget and move on i do get free time if i need it i have 2 kids in school and 2 at home i get free time when my 2 younger ones are taking a nap and if i need a break on Sundays their daddy will keep them while i run to town for some peace the only time it is quite in my house is when my kids are 1 not at home or 2 asleep lol but i wouldn't have it any other way i do get overwhelmed but not just because of the kids its everything trying to keep everything clean spend quality time with each of them yard work its hard but it gets done and i am hoping for 1 more after i have this one in like 5 to 10 years which will put me around 30-35 years old when i have my last one (maybe)
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