Wanting But Waiting 2014 - Page 11 - Mothering Forums

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#301 of 517 Old 04-10-2014, 10:09 AM
 
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Yeah, realistically we're taking it one baby at a time. Def at least one more, but after that...?
It seems, according to most other people, that we should be done now. We have 2, one of each, and not much money. The few people we've told that we plan to have more kids seem genuinely shocked. When my dad asked what I was doing with my maternity clothes after DS was born, I said "packing them away until next time." His reaction - jaw.gif

I think a lot of it depends on how soon we can buy property. We plan to homestead, and once we've got plenty of space and can grow our own food it will be a bit easier to grow our family. But if it takes a while to buy, I might be too old to have any more. Just have to wait and see!

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#302 of 517 Old 04-10-2014, 07:22 PM
 
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I think five is a good number, that way I don't have to drive a van. Nothing was more embarrassing to me growing up then getting picked up from school in a 15 passenger van. So my goal is to never own a van of any sort!

I doubt we will be judged by immediate family on how many kids we have. DH one of five kids and I'm one of 12 kids. There are also a lot of larger families where we live, so if we had five, we would be pretty average.

I would love to move out of our two bedroom apartment and get a house in the next year or two. Space (or the lack there of) would be our biggest factor on how close our kids are in age and ultimately how many we have.
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#303 of 517 Old 04-11-2014, 07:55 PM
 
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I've been reading along faithfully since page 1 and feel like I should at least say hi.  I'm still undecided about having another baby although I very much want to.  I just had my 3rd baby in November and tried rather unsuccessfully to talk myself into this pregnancy/baby being our last.  My DH and I both feel a sense of satisfaction with our family - no desperate need to have more - but we'd both be happy to have more kids if we can manage it financially/emotionally/logistically.  5 kids would be my ideal # too, each spaced 2.5-3 years apart.  Best wishes with waiting (or deciding for those still on the fence!) :) 


“A woman in Birth is at once her most powerful, and most vulnerable. But any woman who has birthed unhindered understands that we are stronger than we know.” –Marcie Macari
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#304 of 517 Old 04-12-2014, 09:21 AM
 
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Hi AngelKissed!

I'm feeling positive today about where we're going with our family. I don't always feel confident since there's so much uncertainty in our life- my husband's medical training, my recently diagnosed depression, my sweet LO who is high needs. But today I am confident.

We have plans to wait to try until December, giving us a nice 2.5 year gap between kids, myself time to heal my brain, and just knowing that we wouldn't be having the baby right around when we could be moving for residency. Sometimes I want to wait longer- until at least March 2015. But part of me wants to get pregnant now and just wing it- relinquish even the smallest appearance of control. Because though I'm stretched to the max now, I know I'll adapt. And I love being pregnant. And I'd love to give my daughter a sibling. And I'd love to deepen my experience as a mother. I know I'm not done with one.

How is everyone else doing?

24 years old. Central PA. Married to a medical student. DD1 - Valentine's Day 2013. treehugger.giflactivist.gifcaffix.gifdelayedvax.giffamilybed1.gifwhale.gif
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#305 of 517 Old 04-12-2014, 01:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Welcome to the conversation Angelkissed. I hope you find some comfort in sharing here.

 

What a great place to be, wayworn. I'm so happy that you are finding confidence in your choices, whatever way you decide to go with your family. I totally agree about adaptation, and of course even in less than ideal circumstances there is still abundant joy from a baby. That is one reason it has been difficult waiting this time, for me, because at this point in my life there is not much to wait for. We are financially stable, own our house, I am feeling good and ready...but the only reasons I'm holding onto to keep waiting until August is that it will be so much easier to have a newborn and the other kids at home with me if I birth toward the end of the school year as my dh is a teacher and he'll be home all summer. So having a may or June baby...easy peasy.

 

Katy, wow, one of 12 kids!! What was that like? Fun, or did you get lost in the crowd? I wonder sometimes how many more kids I can have before I cease to have enough attention, love, time, and patience for them all...or does it multiply indefinitely??


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#306 of 517 Old 04-12-2014, 10:10 PM
 
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Welcome angelkissed, sounds like you are in a good place right now.

Wayworn yay for plans. My ds turned two not long ago and it is amazing how quickly they learn. I wish he could have communicated this well when his sister was born. I can imagine that 2 1/2 would be even better.

Writer I loved growing up with all my siblings. There was always someone to play with. I tended to fly under the radar with my parents more then some of my siblings. I did not struggle with school, or have any other huge problems. Since I did not need them as much I was mostly left to my own devices. They were really supportive of things I was doing. Including driving several hours to attend my orchestra concerts while I was in college. I do know that some of my siblings felt/feel a little more attention deprived, but I think that is mostly due to personality differences. What was enough for me was not enough for another. With any family it has had its pros and cons, I loved it but I'm not going to have that many myself!
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#307 of 517 Old 04-15-2014, 05:09 AM
 
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Hey Mamas! I've also been following this thread and thought I would join!

 

I have one DD she is going to 5 this June! She was a surprise and freaked my DH out enough that he wants everything to be perfect before we have a next one. Maybe too perfect... We've had a lot of conversations about having another one where he sets goals he wants to achieve before we TTC, and then when we reach those goals he sets new loftier ones. :p Well I finally got him to agree to TTC Halloween 2015! We bought a house and added on an addition and are still finishing up some remodeling. We're hoping to put it on the market next spring so we can buy land and build our dream house, or get a house with a lot more land and do some homesteading. Hopefully by the time we TTC we will have sold our house and bought some land. Otherwise I'm worried about being in limbo and having DH pushing off TTC. :( I really don't want to push it off any further even if the situation isn't ideal because I already wish my daughter was closer in age to her future siblings. It will be a 7 year age gap as it is, and I wanted to maybe squeeze in a third baby but still give three/four years or so for the next one to be the baby.
 

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#308 of 517 Old 04-15-2014, 07:39 PM
 
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Welcome aslandess, I'm glad you have a date to ttc, hopefully nothing will happen that changes that. What exactly is homesteading? I know it's been mentioned on this thread before and I'm curious on what it is and how it works.

How's everyone else?

Afm, today is the first night in a while both kids have gone to sleep before 10. I'm trying to move the baby in the same room as her brother and it's not working that well. As a result none of us are sleeping that great.
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#309 of 517 Old 04-15-2014, 08:48 PM
 
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Homesteading is generally small scale self sufficient farming. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homesteading it's often called other things outside the US.

Today was a hard one. DD was just all over the place, freaking out about nothing and yelling more often than not. The last couple days were pretty good though. I'm still conflicted about TTC later this year, or putting it off until ... Well until things are easier I suppose. That's assuming things get easier at some point. I don't know, I'm pretty discouraged right now, so not in a good place for planning.

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#310 of 517 Old 04-16-2014, 05:33 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Welcome Aslandess, I also hope you are able to compromise with your DH about your wants/needs surrounding TTC your next DC.

 

Katy, although your bedroom move is hard now, it is so exciting that you are taking steps toward the next baby. Actually, I don't recall when you are planning to try...I'll have to look back in the thread. ;)

 

Sorry things seem tough right now turtle. Hugs and patience while your DD goes through whatever is going on with her. I find that stress and/or funkiness fluctuates in cycles in my house.

 

AFM, I have been funky! Up and down, back and forth about TTC (when, how, etc...) and it's been rough. I just began taking Vitex last week to hopefully help to lengthen my LP (I ov late and have a short cycle) and I also hoped that it would help with my intense PMS since having DS3. However, at the same time, DH and I decided to begin the girl diet which is the opposite of how we usually eat. I am supposed to cut calories way down, keep my blood sugar low or swinging up and down, and waste all my nutrient stores so my body thinks there is a famine. I have never felt good about this diet and I wasn't going to do it, but rationalizing that it is only for a shortish period of time and in the long run I probably wouldn't regret it if we made a girl, we dove in. And it sucked!! I was dizzy, my eyes got blurry while driving, I was irritable and had NO patience. So, last night I decided it is so not worth it for my family. So, I am not certain if the diet made me feel so off or if it is actually the vitex. Going to monitor my mindbody over the next week.

 

As for the timing, I am feeling so very uncertain. August and even Sept are best, but seriously, I don't see how we will make it that long unless I do something drastic like take BC pills (which I avoid because of the effect on my mental stability/mood). I can sit here and say that I should be able to just abstain or use condoms during my fertile period, but once I am in that fertile period, I am another person. Totally irrational. I am a hormonal animal, LOL. And so is DH. How in the heck are we going to make through 4 cycles of this when it begins on CD4 and lasts through CD18?? I just don't know. So I go back and forth trying to just accept it and resolve o TTC now instead of waiting, but I can't bring myself to commit to that since I am not 100% sure a Feb baby would be manageable. I guess it would, but not as easy as a summer baby. So Iget stuck in limbo and not having a plan stresses me out. Ugh.


Wife to my Sweetness and Light, DH (03), WAHM to DS('01), DS('11), and DS('13). Encouraging mothers everywhere to write for their lives. Expecting our fourth and final baby( It's a GIRL!!!) in January 2015.
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#311 of 517 Old 04-16-2014, 07:05 AM
 
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Thanks for the warm welcome everyone!

 

Katydid- I'm sorry it's so rough moving the baby!  I feel for you, sleepless nights stink, but it will be worth it in the long run!

 

With homesteading we're basically interested in doing things that will lower our cost of living. We'll have to focus on building/or remodeling the house first, and add things in slowly to become more self sufficient, like fruit trees, expanding the garden, composting, chickens, canning, etc. We're not trying to be completely self sufficient, just enough that helps keep our cost of living down. I would never give up my appliances, no way am I going to scrub my clothes with a washboard! :wink

 

Turtle- I'm sorry it's been so stressful with DD, hopefully with summer around the corner everyone will be able to go outside, soak up some vitamin D, and release some energy.

 

Writer- I've been following your posts about a girl pre-conception diet. I think it's definitely interesting, I would like a boy this time around, so I'm in the opposite boat. I actually looked up what the diet is for a boy and basically it said potassium, and sodium. So I guess I'll try to eat bananas and french fries? The scientific part of my brain would love to see how this actually plays out irl, it would be interesting to take a poll/or make a thread with a quick summary of each diet and ask other moms which diet their pre-conception eating habits matched most closely, and what sex was their child.

 

It never really hit me how large the age gap will be between my DD and another DC, and when I told DH last night that it would be 7 years, he was surprised too. I asked him about the possibility of us being in limbo when we want to TTC again, if our house doesn't sell for example, and he said he's not going to put our lives on hold any longer. :joy Since we set a date to TTC we've been talking about it more and he's really on board and is excited. Now just to wait, and check off some goals to accomplish before we TTC, and enjoy my DD while she is still the only. (DH always tells me I'm always worried about the future and just need to enjoy the present.)

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#312 of 517 Old 04-16-2014, 08:30 AM
 
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Lturtle sorry about the rough time with your dd, hopefully it's just a phase and things will get easier for both of you soon.

Writer I'm not sure where you are at in your cycle but you are almost to a spring baby, which is one step closer to a summer baby smile.gif even if timing is not ideal, try to think on the bright side. If you have a feb-may baby you can snuggle without overheating, you won't have to feed a newborn every few hours during the summer when your on the go and in the end you won't regret having another child no matter when they came. That said, be strong and resist, you are almost there smile.gif I'm planning on trying this summer for a spring baby, but I don't know if it will happen. Still no AF and no idea when it will show up.

Aslandess that's great DH is really on board! I think it is easy to forget how fast time is really going sometimes.

Thanks for the information on homesteading, my family did some of that when I was growing up, I never knew there was a name for it. When we finally get a house I want to garden and have fruit trees, I'm not sure if we would ever be able to do more then that due to where we live. I have always thought it would be fun to have a milk cow, my DH, not so much. He grew up working on his uncles sheep farm and had his fill of working with animals.

I slept for 7 hours straight last night for the first time in a long time. I feel amazing! Of course it was probably a fluke and I'll be back to being up all night tonight.
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#313 of 517 Old 04-16-2014, 01:36 PM
 
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Dropping in from outer space again.

 

Welcome to AngelKissed and Aslandess!

 

I have nothing to add to the convo at the moment except that I read this really great quote in the newspaper today and wanted to share.  It resonated with me because of my incessant need to worry about all the contingencies of a particular decision and also as a dovetail to the quote in my signature.

 

It is however, the exact opposite of the title of this thread and will not be great motivation for any of us who really need motivation to wait.  Ahem, writermama12, ahem :wink

 

"Do not wait; the time will never be 'just right.'  Start where you stand and work with whatever tools you may have at your command, and better tools will be found as you go along" - George Herbert  

 

I was really ready to call it done with my two boys but then I read this and it sent that little part of me that desperately wants to have a 3rd all atwitter.  Sigh. 

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#314 of 517 Old 04-16-2014, 03:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
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STARS!!!! I love this. Thank you thank you thank you. No it doesn't help, but it soooo does help. My name irl is Amber, and my DH came up with a phrase to describe how I totally think a problem to death... he calls it Ambering. I am totally Ambering great timing for my last bub. I need to stop. A few months do have an impact, but having a Feb baby vs a May baby in a year will not matter a smidge. It only matters to me the first few months PP, when I will have either three kids ages 4 and under to care for on my own, or only a newborn to care for and a hubby here to take the olders...But either way, it is only a few months of either relative ease or moderate turmoil. I am sick of myself at this point.


Wife to my Sweetness and Light, DH (03), WAHM to DS('01), DS('11), and DS('13). Encouraging mothers everywhere to write for their lives. Expecting our fourth and final baby( It's a GIRL!!!) in January 2015.
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#315 of 517 Old 04-17-2014, 05:30 AM
 
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Writer- You're soooo close! It's only four months or so left right? You could always post a countdown and/or plan one last summer of fun with just your boys. Car trips and amusement parks without feeling all nauseous! I know I will be feeling just like you, (heck if my DH would change his mind to earlier I would get started right away :lol.)

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#316 of 517 Old 04-17-2014, 06:58 AM
 
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Originally Posted by writermama12 View Post

STARS!!!! I love this. Thank you thank you thank you. No it doesn't help, but it soooo does help. My name irl is Amber, and my DH came up with a phrase to describe how I totally think a problem to death... he calls it Ambering. I am totally Ambering great timing for my last bub. I need to stop. A few months do have an impact, but having a Feb baby vs a May baby in a year will not matter a smidge. It only matters to me the first few months PP, when I will have either three kids ages 4 and under to care for on my own, or only a newborn to care for and a hubby here to take the olders...But either way, it is only a few months of either relative ease or moderate turmoil. I am sick of myself at this point.

Love the quote too, Stars!!! Goodness. It is totally true. I try my best to live a life based in love, not fear. And yet here I sit, fearful and quaking in my boots at the various contingencies and plot twists that a new baby would create in our family. And all the time, I hear a call (based in love) to add a new soul to our life. Madness.

Writer, I do the same daggum thing. My husband calls me a "stress nugget" because dang me if I can't analyze a situation to death, nearly hyperventilating in the process. Ha!

All- thanks for the kind words and support. I started taking a very very low dosage of Zoloft and it will take a few weeks to fully kick in. But I've had a string of really excellent days so I'm hopeful! There's a lot about my life right now that I have zero choice over, but I hope I can gather the tools I need to get through it. My DH will be graduating medical school next May, and then we begin again (hopefully) in a new place for his next phase of training. I am so dreaming of heading back west.

Anywho. I've also begun taking care of my friend's son, who is 2 weeks older than my daughter (14 months). It's 8 hours a week and is wonderful. Totally. They get along so well and it feels like a play date but I get paid! And my friend gets to flex her ICU nursing muscles while leaving her kiddo with a friend, not daycare. Win win. But it's made me see how dear it would be to give my daughter a sibling close in age.
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#317 of 517 Old 04-17-2014, 09:24 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I have to be honest for a sec and just say it: I love this thread!! I check every day to read something and get so excited to see a little red circle on my subscriptions tab. Thanks for being here, wherever you are!

 

You all are totally right, now or later, it will be great. And I have been telling myself for the past few days, I can wait. I CAN wait until August. It isn't long. I do want a summer free of feeling tired and nauseous. It will be only a little hard to wait through O four more times. Even if it is a lot hard, I can do it. I have done hard things my entire life...why in the heck can't I fight the urge for a few months?! Psshhh. I got this. I can do it.

 

FWIW, I used to be a drug addict (in my teen years) and a smoker and I kicked both of those awful habits. I have done some hard things in my life. But not making a baby is up there with the hardest of them!! :)

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#318 of 517 Old 04-17-2014, 03:14 PM
 
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Hi everyone!  So glad I found this thread... I am mom to a 2yr 3m boy born at home.  Up until this week I was working full-time and juggling motherhood and wifehood and teacherhood NOT very successfully.  I had Spring Break off with my babe and had an epiphany: I'm DONE with trying to have it all.  I want to go back to being a good wife and present mom, and I am ready for #2 (after swearing up and down after giving birth that I would NEVER have a second one)!  

 

I am a teacher so I have 8 weeks to go before I can quit, but we have to wait until August to TTC because I've been invited to China to give a workshop at a Montessori conference in late July, and I really don't feel like traveling while pregnant.  So, the waiting game begins...

 

Nobody at work knows about this life-altering decision, so I'm really happy I found a space where I can share!!!  I look forward to getting to know you all better on this waiting journey!


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#319 of 517 Old 04-17-2014, 04:58 PM
 
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Hi! I just finished reading this whole thread and I want to join. I just joined Mothering but I am no stranger to parenting forums.

 

We have one daughter (13 months) and one kitten (7 months). DH and I have been together a long time. We want a "big" family but are really unsure of the actual number or of when we want more.

 

We are waiting right now because of lactational amenorrhea (no PP aunt flow yet) and our plans to travel. We are about to lease a house but our plan is to WOOF next Spring for a while and then at some point buy some land to settle down and homestead. We really do not have any idea when to plan to have LO#2 in all of this but DD was conceived as we were about to head out on a similar trip two years ago. We ended up giving up our trip when we really didn't need to. Hopefully we can juggle life better in the future.


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#320 of 517 Old 04-18-2014, 08:45 PM
 
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Stars that is a great quote, thanks for sharing.

Writer, I know how you feel with the over thinking, I always get super stressed when I can't plan things out. Can I just say you are amazing to overcome such hard habits to break, good for you!

Aslandess good reminder that it's no fun being nauseous during the summer, plus most of the fun things like amusement and water parks you can't do a whole lot while pregnant.

Wayworn I'm glad things are starting to look up for you. That's awesome that your dd has a play mate her own age, especially since they get along.

Montessorimama welcome, my ds is the same age as yours smile.gif that will be exciting when you can stay home not feel so stretched. China? That is so cool!

Sidrajedi welcome! Do you know where you want to travel to yet? I'm kind of a homebody but I love to hear about other peoples travels and adventures.
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#321 of 517 Old 04-19-2014, 08:06 PM
 
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Hi, ladies!  I'm back from my cruise vacation, and trying to get back in the swing of things. I should be working on my final presentation for my Medical Audiology course right now, but decided to catch up with you all instead. We had a very nice cruise to the Virgin Islands of St. Thomas & St. Maartin, as well as CocoCay. The kids really enjoyed the kids programs onboard, and the adults appreciated the deck chairs, perfect weather, and drinks-of-the-day, and everyone enjoyed the beaches. Orient Beach, on St. Maartin, was every bit as lovely and clear as its reputation suggests & I highly recommend it to everyone. The tour company we used (through the ship) was excellent, and we felt very taken-care-of and safe. I have tons of great pics, too. It is probably the last real wvacation we'll take before we have another baby, since we really need to remodel the kitchen next year in lieu of a vacation, and I don't like travelling very far with a baby.

 

Welcome to all our new ladies in waiting! It seems a lot was going on while I was away. I'd like to mostly just say "ditto" to what Katy just said yesterday to everyone- except I don't have a 14 month-old.

 

So, I called yesterday and made the appointment to have my IUD out on the 1st of the month!!!!  I need to get onto the vitamin-taking phase, and I think I'm going to go ahead and order the Perfect Prenatals through Amazon this week. Anybody know of a cheaper place to get them?  I also need to go ahead and call my dentist and schedule a filling (ugh!), and see my chiropractor for an adjustment. Hey- I wonder if you can get acupuncture to encourage having a girl? Anybody ever heard of that? I'm going to look it up and see if it's a thing. I really would love a girl, even though I am determined not to get too attached to the idea, since it's unlikely.

 

My mom is visiting this weekend for Easter (Happy Easter, by the way, for those of you who celebrate it), and it's been really hard to keep my big mouth shut this whole time. Every time we passed the baby section, or saw a cute stroller while we were out today, I had to bite my tongue to keep from saying something about how I'll have to buy a new stroller this time, or I wonder if they have the carseat I want here... DH wants to keep it a secret until it happens. But I like sharing. ;-)

 

My LO just came to bed with me, so I'd better sign off for tonight. 


Wife to since '98; Homeschooling, working on my doctorate & becoming crunchier by the day; Mom to DSs: 06/10,12/05, & 1/99 & 1 on the way (3/15)
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#322 of 517 Old 04-19-2014, 08:50 PM
 
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@LTurtle Thanks, we haven't decided anything concrete but we have been to NC, VA, NY, NM, CA and AL together. We are planning at least on trip this year (just for a vacation, not to WOOF) and FL, LA an OK are topping the list right now. When we sign up with WOOF next year we'll have a better idea of what we can do.

Born August1982. Love/Marriage May2003/June2010. Home birth for daughter March2013.

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#323 of 517 Old 04-20-2014, 04:08 AM
 
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Hi everyone!

Not sure if I fit in here. It seems that most of you already have children. I don't have kids yet, but I desperately want to start trying. DH is a few years younger than me, so he doesn't feel the same urgency that I do. Being a woman, feeling like I have a clock attached to my body, and knowing that I want a big(gish) sized family (I would love 4 or 5 children!), it can feel overwhelming sometimes. 😬

We talk about it a lot. I feel ready NOW, however, life is running it's course and for a few reasons (financial, one more year of grad school for me, DH is starting Montessori training this summer) it's better to wait until August of 2015 to start TTC. It just feels so far away! I'm turning 30 next month and over the past couple of years, I've actually felt physiological changes happening and I now feel like my body is craving having a child. Like it needs it. Not sure if this is actually something that can happen or if it's a psychological thing, since I'm surrounded by friends and loved ones who are pregnant or have just had babies of there own.

Anyone else have a similar experience?

Also, just wanted to say hi to @montessorimama1. I'm a Montessori teacher too. 😊

kristi, 29 years old.treehugger.gif married to eric 8.17.13. heartbeat.gif looking forward to being a mama.femalesling.GIF
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#324 of 517 Old 04-20-2014, 02:28 PM
 
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Ugh. I just looked at my lat post and realized that I addressed it to the wrong user for some reason! HOW EMBARRASSING. :/ I meant to address it to @katydid09 I am so sorry, chica!

Well, I often get "foot-in-my-mouth disease" so I'm used to it.

Hi, mamadance84! I had that same sense of urgency and DH didn't and he's a year and a half older. I think it's just a guy thing. They get so nervous about parenthood but then when it happens they get used to it and then start to think about another too. I still kind of have those feelings of urgency and I really want to wait until DD is weaned before we have another. I don't even have a sex drive but I want all of my children to be here already LOL.

Born August1982. Love/Marriage May2003/June2010. Home birth for daughter March2013.

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#325 of 517 Old 04-20-2014, 02:55 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SidraJedi View Post

Hi, mamadance84! I had that same sense of urgency and DH didn't and he's a year and a half older. I think it's just a guy thing. They get so nervous about parenthood but then when it happens they get used to it and then start to think about another too. I still kind of have those feelings of urgency and I really want to wait until DD is weaned before we have another. I don't even have a sex drive but I want all of my children to be here already LOL.

Hi! Thanks for this. Yeah, I know this is pretty common for males. I don't think it has anything to do with him being nervous. We both have a career working with young children and are both anxious to start a family. For him, its just that he needs to feel like we are in a certain place both financially and career wise--and those things are less important to me. We also only got married less than a year ago. So he wants this time that's just us before we add little humans into the mix.

At this point, there is no amount of pushing that will do any good. I'm just trying to be ok with waiting another 16mos. I know it will pass quickly, but at this point it feels so far away!! Also, once we start TTC there is no telling how long it will take. I want a babe in my arms now! Ah, his rationality is killing me.😕

kristi, 29 years old.treehugger.gif married to eric 8.17.13. heartbeat.gif looking forward to being a mama.femalesling.GIF
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#326 of 517 Old 04-20-2014, 11:04 PM
 
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Yaliina sounds like your cruise was amazing, I'm glad you had a good time. When were you going to ttc again? Getting your iud out must mean you're getting close. I highly recommend going to the dentist before becoming pregnant. Last time I had to get a root canal about 7 months pregnant and it was miserable. And to make things worse I had a tooth break at 39 weeks and the only appointment they had was a day before my due date. I was dreading it, luckily my baby was born that night so I made my appointment 4 days pp instead of 40 weeks pregnant smile.gif

Sidrajedi I get people mixed up all the time so it's all good smile.gif is WOOF that worldwide organic farming thing? I didn't want to appear too ignorant and have to ask so I google it and that was what I came up with. Unfortunately I'm not sure if that is what you were referring to so I have to ask anyway.

Mamadance welcome, I know there were several ladies waiting to ttc baby #1 but I'm not sure where they went (hint you ladies should check in and say hi). I personally think a lot of guys feel responsible for taking care of their families and they don't want to add a baby when they are not in the position they would like to be in to provide. I don't think women feel that responsibility the same so we are willing to compromise some things in order to fulfill our desire for a family. At least we are willing to say "we can make it work" long before men would. I don't know if that made any sense or not and it probably came out differently then it did in my head. Bottom line, welcome to the group smile.gif

Afm I don't have much new going on. I'm still trying to get the baby to share a room with her brother. My car didn't start again so it might be time to say goodbye. We were hoping it would last until august but unless it is a quick, cheep fix it won't be worth repairing. Anyway hope you all had a good Easter Sunday.
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#327 of 517 Old 04-21-2014, 09:29 AM
 
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Yaliina - That cruise sounds like an awesome experience. My DH and I never went on a honeymoon and haven't really done anything special for our anniversaries (DH always had work, and we've been frugal :p) and we're thinking of doing a nice vacation next summer for our 5th anniversary. Are you getting excited now that you scheduled to get your IUD out?

 

SidraJedi- I was wondering what WOOF was too. I tried googling it too and the things I found didn't seem to make sense.

 

MamaDance- Men are so rational about those things. Our only child was a surprise and the housing market crashed around the time we found out. Which was unfortunate since he worked in building houses. He ended up getting paychecks that bounced and the work completely dried up. He ended up getting a new job about a month before I had our DD. He told me he wanted to move up to a certain position position in his company, and get a house before we have another one. We ended up being super frugal and paid off all our debt, he kept moving up in his company, we kept saving, and we eventually got a house and he eventually got that position he wanted. His only real thing he wants to get done now is finishing up remodeling our house, which we've been doing for years. I think since we welcomed a new baby during the recession with a ton of debt, and had to go through some tough times to save and get out of it, that he is just wary of another unforeseen event. I'm turning 30 this year too and DH wants to wait until fall of 2015 to TTC. I'm happy he finally put a date on it, and I am trying to bide the time by checking stuff of my pre-TTC to do list, and looking into some new baby stuff. I always over-research things so now I have a ton of time to do it. :nut

 

Katydid- Is the baby transitioning going any better? Sorry about your car! We have two old vehicles, one I got from a relative that didn't want it anymore. We've tried not to sink too much cash into fixing it, since it has well over 150k miles and we'll prolly need to replace it sooner then later. Last summer DH (he is not super car handy) tried to learn to fix some of the easier stuff using youtube videos. Some of it worked great, but one time we had to take to a mechanic to finish the job. :rotflmao

 

Anyone have a list of goals or a to do list that they want to get done before they ttc?

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#328 of 517 Old 04-21-2014, 10:01 AM
 
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I'm trying to really get a handle on my depression. I've been reading the Mood Cure and am set on ordering L-tryptophan and Florodix to improve my mood. I've been taking 25 mg of Zoloft since last Wednesday, with instructions to increase to 50 mg after a week and to stay the course through all the icky side effects (headaches, thirst/dry mouth, fatigue, nausea). But I've never been a fan of pharm meds and the side effects/idea of rewiring my brain is freaking me out, so I'm probably going to stop them and see if just the tryptophan increases my serotonin levels enough to improve mood. And I may try St. John's Wort, though I have reservations about using it while breastfeeding and it absolutely can't be taken whilst pregnant. I found a cognitive behavioral therapist who I am hoping can bolster my mental health toolbox, too. Anyway, yeah. A big goal for me before TTC is improving my mood.

Another loose goal: surviving through studying for medical boards (my husband is taking them in June and studying is pretty all consuming).

Perhaps figuring in a better exercise plan. We don't have a jogger and it's silly- but I want a single jogger so I can get fitter before TTC...... But then I would be turning around in a year and needing to buy ANOTHER jogger (double) once we actually have another babe. Catch 22.

I would like for my poor sleeper of a co-sleeper to better her sleeping habits and move into a space of her own, even just a pallet on the floor next to our bed (which is itself already just a mattress on the floor). But she's still nursing a lot, and since she has food allergies/intolerances and was a late bloomer when it comes to food (still only eats like a baby bird!) I'm in no hurry. She's young (14 months) and I figure we'll figure sleep out when we need to.

And that's about it.... So, we could be on track to conceive in July/August. !!!!! Maybe. Possibly.

24 years old. Central PA. Married to a medical student. DD1 - Valentine's Day 2013. treehugger.giflactivist.gifcaffix.gifdelayedvax.giffamilybed1.gifwhale.gif
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#329 of 517 Old 04-21-2014, 02:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hey everyone! Lots of good stuff happening around here, save for the car troubles (sorry!!). I need to vent a little--I had a really sh!t day and feel really low. Which comes at a bad time, as I only have a few good days per cycle it seems. After feeling fairly confused over my mood swings and physical symptoms for the past three cycles, I now realize I am having Ovulation symptoms (pain, headache, and nausea), PMS (for a whole week leading up to AF), and Post-MS, which happens 3-4 days after AF stops, and then again a few days before O. I don't understand why this is happening as my cycles have always regulated quickly PP. But, it is making my life harder to cope with. And my job coaching SUCKED today. I got reamed by the director for making a mistake (because I was not told about a policy they had) and had to use my best judgment which was wrong. He told me off and yelled. I felt like a misbehaving child, and I am so humiliated, belittled and also so vulnerable. I wish I could quit, but that would be small of me to leave midseason. UGH!UGH!!!!!! Sitting in the sunshine and drinking a beer alone. I really need to be alone. I am trying hard not to feel so down and so on the brink of crying, but it happens frequently these days. And it is weird because I am not an emotional or teary person...at all.


Wife to my Sweetness and Light, DH (03), WAHM to DS('01), DS('11), and DS('13). Encouraging mothers everywhere to write for their lives. Expecting our fourth and final baby( It's a GIRL!!!) in January 2015.
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#330 of 517 Old 04-21-2014, 03:55 PM
 
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@waywornwanderer If you eat meat you might want to try Blue Ice brand fermented Cod liver oil and eating beef or chicken livers. Both of those things help with my depression. I have to soak the livers in milk for at least an hour and hide them in something like meatloaf, but it does the trick. I love floradix too!

 

Also, my 13 month old is a light sleeper too and we also bedshare. I made a pallet next to the bed out of yoga blankets for her (we won't have room for a mattress by our floor bed until we move in June) and she will sleep in it for a little while and then want to get back on the bed. I am really bad about it too b/c it is so much easier to nurse her all night long (because she LOVES nursing) in our bed than in her pallet. I think when I have a mattress for her and I can roll on and off of it to and from my bed than it will be better? She still nurses at least 7 times a day and then goes all night plus she eats three meals and two snacks a day in varying proportions. I also let her comfort nurse whenever she wants (but I am trying to be less indulgent these past two months) I don't think she would self-wean until she is 5!

 

@Aslandess and @katydid09 WOOF is the world organization of organic farms. It was started in the UK I think but each country has its own membership. You pay a small membership fee yearly and you are given access to a network of organic farms who are willing to give room and board for work. Many of the farms are families and welcome other families to come and work for a time.

 

As far as my to-do before LO#2:

Pay off credit card

Wean DD (debating on a combo of mother-led and child led or just letting her self wean) b/c I think I want at least a two month break between nursing and pregnancy

get DD moved to a bed right next to our bed

Get ducks in a row for DH's business


Born August1982. Love/Marriage May2003/June2010. Home birth for daughter March2013.

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