Born August1982. Love/Marriage May2003/June2010. Home birth for daughter March2013.
Sidrajedi I love the shelves, makes me wish I had some wall space to try something like that!
afm still waiting for af, I'm kind of glad it has not shown up yet, that means I can keep putting off the decision to ttc or not for a while longer. Although it might show up sooner rather than later, my dd is teething again (two top teeth in the last week) and has decided the chewing slightly is the best way to nurse. I nurse her as long as I can, trying everything to get her to stop but when she is done (or I make her be done because I can't stand it any longer) there is usually a tooth imprint. I really want to nurse her for at least a year (which will be in August) but if she keeps this up I'm not sure how much past her birthday I'll make it.
How is everyone else?
As for biting, I found the best thing to do was put my finger between my son's gums to un-latch him then put him down on the floor and hand him something to chew on. He soon learnt that biting me led to no milk! When he was a bit older usually pulling my skin with his teeth was totally accidental because he would get distracted by things going on around him and turn his head without letting go of me! The best thing to do then was give him something to fiddle with while he fed. You can buy special "nursing necklaces" for that. I had a lot of problems feeding him at the beginning (thrush, mastitis, bleeding etc.) and got completely useless advice from the midwives, but it got easier as he got older. I ended up breastfeeding him to about 22 months, when he self-weaned. For a long time he was just feeding in the morning and before bed though.
Siderajedi: I love your shelves too We are having to entirely cover one long wall of our living/dining area and most walls in my study and my partner's with Ikea bookcases to fit our thousands (literally) of books! I guess at least it makes decorating easier! I'm going to have my study in a steampunky Victorian style, which is very fun to design.
EDs really suck. I've had issues since my early teens and got really ill shortly before becoming pregnant with my son but I too got dramatically better during pregnancy. I slipped badly back into it again a few years later, but again becoming pregnant kicked me into fighting it harder, and I managed to continue to get better despite losing the baby. It's always lurking though. I really want to get much fitter before trying for another baby but it is so, so hard to do it healthily.
Katydid- That's so funny that you image searched CM!! I'm still working on the temp part of charting, I was doing it for awhile with an ear thermometer and started reading Taking Charge of Your Fertility, and it said not to use ear thermometers. The copy was actually really old so I'm not sure if the ear thermometers are more advanced nowadays or still a no-no. So I'm going buy a BBT thermometer and try temping again next cycle. I have that problem of always looking down the road to the future instead of enjoying what I have now too. (Or at least DH says I do! Lol!)
Memento- Welcome to waiting! Sorry for your dilemma with TTC. I hope it works out the way you want it to! I love the victorian/steampunk style, that sounds amazing! We've remodeled our house with the plan of selling eventually, so I've had to walk a fine line in design/decorating. We don't want it plain and boring, but we didn't want to over customize and have it be unappealing to someone's tastes. I'll be so happy when we sell this house and start our forever home and I can design just how I like it.
AFM Had my DD's birthday party, we were literally painting the night before to finish up some remodeling. I was also sick and trying to pretend to be healthy because I didn't want to cancel my DD's party. She had been looking forward to it so much, and she really seemed to enjoy it! (I did get overwhelmed because I was sick and some of my friends don't really parent and they were at the party!) Anyone else have friends that it was tough to maintain a relationship with once they had kids, because they have such a radically different parenting style then you? I know a couple people that have a very laissez faire attitude of parenting and I don't really know how to handle them. They literally let their toddlers roam freely in whatever house they are in. They don't chase them, don't make them stay in the room they are in (and I always try to toddler-proof my main living area and put out toddler safe toys) and in general just figure the kid will be fine wherever they are whatever they are getting into. I remember it was tiring to chase my little one and keep her entertained in other people's places when she was a toddler, but I didn't just give up and let my daughter roam into their master bath and ransack their medicine cabinet. I have tried to say something, but it's like the parents don't get what they're doing wrong. They play it off like it's so cute, and they expect you to chase their toddlers if it's your place. Sorry about the rant but I'm at the end of the rope and the last thing I need is for a kid to get seriously injured at my place.
Momento - thanks! And as far as being healthy goes, I try to think about it as "do I want to look thin or actually be healthy?"
Aslandess - thanks! And I am a success story for FA, though I know others whom it was not a good fit for. I love fertility friend and cannot wait to really get into it. All of the mothers in my and my husbands families seem to parent differently. Before I became a parent I thought some things they did were totally beyond me. Now I feel differently. They parent their way, and I understand its because it works for them and they are only doing what thy think is best for their child. When DD was first born I went on a lot of mom dates trying to find another mom whom I could hang out with that fit my parenting style and I had little success. I don't mind so much being different, but I guess that's because I don't feel like everyone else is doing something that I am not. In my circle we're all kind of doing our own thing. I do feel like its been hard to hang out with my childless friends. Also, that I've grown apart from most of them. Now two are moving away, I get kind of lonely about it. And I am at a loss as to how to make new friends since most of my friends have come from work and I am a SAHM/WAHM for now.
Felicity890 - ?
AFM, AF finally came a callin at 15months, one week and two days PP in the middle of the night just like she used to! I was super excited and blind sighted when I saw spotting. I used to have intense cramps and severe PMS a day or two before and then cramps through most bleeding. Also I am pretty sure this cycle is anovulary because I have still had no sex drive and didn't have super fertile CM or ovulation cramps or anything, but I can't be sure and since I the flow is slowing down and it's only day two (my menses used to last at least five days) I am not discounting implantation bleeding. So I plan to test in the near future. The only signs I had that AF might show up was that my weight went up about 2.5lbs inexplicably and that I had a pregnancy appetite the say before spotting and ever since. I gave up temping a couple months ago since it looked like nothing was happening but I am now back to using the FF app. I am glad that I was AF free for over 25 months but I have to admit that I missed my cycle a little bit. I like my clock especially when cramps are not involved. I wish it could always be like this. I guess I like the charting, the organizing and analyzing involved in having a cycle? I know I'm a weirdo...
Also, I don't feel an overwhelming need for a baby like I thought I would with the return of AF. Maybe the hormones are but in full strength? I did feel a surge of fondness for another when my one was asleep and I was picking up after her morning rampage in the living room. But then she woke up early from her nap and has been whiny and uncomfortable ever since (teething, cranky) and the feeling went into hibernation. I can wait a little longer.
aslandess, I have been using a ear thermometer too, I have not been doing that great about taking temps, the baby cries in the morning and I am out of bed and across the apartment before I wake up enough to remember to take my temps. I figure I will try to get a bbt thermometer later, if I ever remember to buy one I have been following this blog and one of the resent posts talked about finding joy in the moment. It reminded me of my own tendencies of looking to much to the future and forgetting what I have now to enjoy, I thought I would pass it along if anybody wants to read it. http://www.themomentswestand.com/201...forgotten.html I'm glad your DD had a fun party, and good for you for throwing it (I don't think my kids are ever going to have birthday parties). That is so frustrating about those parents, we have a neighbor with some little kids (their oldest is about a year or two older then my ds) we went to the park with them once and the oldest one would take toys from the other kids, throw sand in my ds face and at one point started poking my ds in the stomach with a bat, the whole time all the mom would do is softly say something along the lines of "we don't do that" but would not do much more to control her child. We have not done anything with them since, I wish we could because they are the only kids around that are my ds age but I can't handle how mean her oldest is to my ds, and I don't want him to act like that.
sidrajedi, yay for AF.
afm, nursing is going a little better, I think my dd is done teething for the moment so she is chewing a lot less. I think part of the problem is her latch. It was fine before she started to get her top teeth but now it is uncomfortable and we haven't figured out how to adjust yet, but we are getting there (I hope). We have been spending a lot of time around family the last couple of weeks, the kids nap schedules are non-existent. I was looking forward to trying to get back to normal but my sister-in-law asked if she could stay with us for a few days (the day we came home for camping). I am exhausted and my apartment is a mess and I really, really want my own space again.
Does anyone else like to do crafts? I realized I have 3 sewing and 2 cross stich projects, all in various degrees of completeness all over my living room. I also have ribbons, feathers and fabric scraps I am using to make hair bows taking over my bedroom. And as of yesterday my kitchen table was commandeered to make some sand print wall hangings. I think I have a problem
I am making curtains for our living/dining room and painting some thrift store frames for our family photo wall. DH and I have been together for 11 years an my goal is to find a photo from every year for our wall.
Also, I have some plans lined up for throw pillows to add color to the living room.
I'm also still working on a Waldorf doll for DD
Also, I am a few days from ovulation and I really want a baby! It's going to be a long three months... If we even decide to TTC when DD is 18 months. We might wait longer. I have a friend about to have a baby any day now and in ways I am so jeally. Speaking of crafts I want to make a bunch of clothes for DD and a gender neutral layette set for the next baby, so I'm going to get to cleaning up our project room...
@katydid09 you don't have a problem that a trip to the container store couldn't handle we should post photos of our crafts/projects as we finish them!
@sidrajedi It would be fun to post pictures of our crafts/projects, I love to see other people's work, plus I might actually finish a project in a timely manner. I love your family picture wall idea. I started something similar with Christmas ornaments, I glued ribbons and buttons around wallet sized photos to put on our tree. They have the added bonus of being kid friendly (as long as the kids don't try to eat the buttons).
afm I've been trying to find a good cake and frosting recipe for the giant cupcake pan I got for my dd's first birthday next month. After lots of cake the last week I think I'm going with a chocolate cake with Oreo frosting in a white chocolate shell, it is super yummy. I'll have to try and write more later, the kids are going crazy, I think I have been on the computer too long.
I was the oldest in a household thy was three under three for four months and I remember feeling rejected by mom. I think her parenting had more to do with it than our closeness in age but that factored in. I really hope to parent DD well and have enough space between siblings that she won't feel how I felt when my younger sibs came along.
I am 32 and I plan on having children, barring complications, for a few years yet.
November will come sooner than you think! Welcome!
@katydid09 I am so glad to hear that #2 was an easier adjusemt for you. I keep thinking that is right but I don't want to get too cocky. It seems like it would be easier because you Already did it once, though of course there are new challenges but you can expect them. With number one you have nothing to compare the experience to so it hard to prepare.
I am just curious if your BC method causes you anxiety. I think we'd be having more sex if I has something more secure to rely on, lol.
Writing about life-long learning and discovery at: www.neoapprentice.com
:: A neo-apprentice knows there are no true masters.
25yo FTM to a Wiggle Panda , student teacher , newlywed
I'm on my second cycle of using the fertility awareness method, though I did track my cycles for about 9 months several years ago during a time I wasn't having sex. I was on a combined birth control pill for about 1.5-2 years before coming off it at the end of June. The hormones were making me feel more awful with every cycle by then; my mood swings were awful and I felt like I had PMS a lot of the time, I kept getting period-type cramps randomly throughout the month, and I for a few months at the end I was starting to spot for a week before the pack was due to end. I feel a million times better now that it's out of my system!
I'm very sciencey and love graphs (sad, I know!) and I also really like knowing what is going on in my body because it makes me feel more in control. I use Fertility Friend to track my temperature and cervical mucus, and sometimes OPKs to give a little extra information. My 9 charts when I did it before all showed quite an obvious temperature shift at ovulation so I felt secure that I'd be able to notice it now too.
I feel pretty safe with it and know the risk of failure is much more likely to be failure on my and my partner's part rather than a problem with the method! Because my earliest ovulation was 12 days we stop having unprotected sex on CD7, even though that's probably cutting it a bit fine. I only go that far because I still have very dry mucous for at least 3 days after that so figure no sperm will survive until ovulation. Very infertile mucus is too acidic for sperm and kills them quickly; the up to 5 days survival often quoted only counts in fertile-ish quality CM. Sex up to CD5 is considered safe for almost anyone.
Personally I feel safer using this method because I know exactly what is happening when so I can adjust my behaviour accordingly. I fell pregnant with my son while using the pill 7.5 years ago, and never quite trust it fully because you can't know if anything is going wrong with hormonal contraceptives. Another thing I like is that responsibility is shared. My partner looks at my chart every day too and together we decide whether a day is "safe" or not.
How long have you been charting? Maybe it would make you feel better to always use a barrier method or withdrawal for a few cycles to make sure ovulation doesn't vary too much and you are sure you can see the sustained rise on your charts easily. You could also err on the side of caution and just not have sex any month before ovulation has been confirmed. That still gives a while of worry-free sex. My partner and I have decided on withdrawal during fertile times because condoms make me really sore (even the non-latex kinds) and abstinence is no fun at all! He is good at being careful with it and leaves plenty of time, so I don't worry about that.
Honestly, in a couple of months I'd be very happy with an "Ooops!" baby though we'll be actively trying to avoid for about a year still. I think if having another baby would be the end of the world the safest thing to do would be doubling up methods, but since FAM is as effective if not more so than condoms (depending on which studies you read) I think if you'd trust the risk with them and you feel capable of following FAM properly then you shouldn't worry.
Really though, you could always try the Implanon and if it doesn't work for you just have it removed! Sex should be fun rather than stressful and you should do whatever makes you feel safest so you can enjoy it fully.
Last edited by Memento; 08-14-2014 at 04:19 AM.
My BBT chart is a bit weird this month. I expected it after coming off the pill, but I've never had a cycle longer than 32 days, and over the 9 charts I have from a few years ago my latest ovulation was CD17 and that was the month after I had an early miscarriage. My average is CD13.7.
I'm at the end of CD20 now, and Fertility Friend has a red dotted line for CD12 and says it isn't sure because I didn't enter fertile cervical mucus. I didn't notice any symptoms then, and normally I do. My pre-ovulation temperatures so far this month have been quite a lot lower on average than previous months I've charted and now after it thinks I ovulated I'm only as "hot" as I normally am before ovulation. The rise it registered is not nearly as obvious as normal either.
Anyway, last weekend my partner and I were very well-behaved because it was not considered a "safe" time, but we were really hoping to have some fun without "boundaries" this weekend, especially because we are going to a friend's wedding tomorrow.
Would you take the risk if your partner was willing? I'm not sure if mine will be, but I think I probably would. An accidental pregnancy this month would be difficult because I'd be due a month before my exams for my 2nd degree year, but my hormones say it wouldn't matter and we'd cope!
How is everyone else?
afm my baby just turned one last week. It is crazy how fast the time goes, she is walking everywhere and she is starting to lose the baby fat on her legs. I really want to start trying for another one but af is still non existent. I've been taking my temperature on and off for the last three months and there hasn't been much change. I'm still nursing 2-3 times a day so I don't think af is going to show up until I stop and although I'm not nursing all that much, neither dd or I are ready to stop just yet. I also finished a blanket for my dd, I'll try and post a picture of it since it is my only project that I have finished lately. Does anyone machine quilt? I have just discovered it and am trying to practice on a table runner. I haven't made much progress just because I want it to be perfect and I obviously don't have enough practice yet and I got discouraged. I'll try to post a picture of that if I ever finish it.
When we first started FAM i didn't temp but we used cervical position, texture, mucus, etc., my level of excitement, and when i felt ovulation pain to decide when i was ovulating or close to it. we only DTD during menstruation and then after a couple of cycles we added a few days before and after. We did this for a while. Rather than abstaining during the fertile times we stuck to oral. After a while we got more comfortable and baisically just used a very cautious pull out way in advance method for about on week out of the month (the week that I could possibly be ovulating). This was successful birth control for nine years. We took it seriously though and always kept our heads above our hormones and stopped going all the way during possibly fertile times.
Since I have birth to DD we have been cautious and even more so since my cycles returned in June. I started temping (when I can get accurate temps since I bedshare it is hard to get sometimes) and temping will help be more accurate over time. I can tell pretty easily when I am about to ovulate by all of the other signs. I've been using the fertility friend app and it is really helpful with keeping track of everything. I have to reccomend it. GL! I hope You can find something that works as well for you as FAM does for me!
I wrote out this really long reply to everyone else and about myself and the iPhone ate it when I put the phone down to hang out with my SIL and niece :/
I'm pretty upset about it.
It's too late but @Memento I would wait bc of exams
@katydid09 congrats on your LOs birthday and I would love to see the blanket. I haven't posted anything bc I haven't finished anything. I'll get there tho!
AFM, I have been really tired bc DD is cutting incisors. She wants to nurse allnightlong and flip sides often. So I have been pretty useless in my waking hours.
I am gearing up for ovulation in my third PP cycle. So far: cycle 1 was anovulary and painless, cycle 2 took 3 weeks to ovulate and one week to menstruate. I'm on cd19 and I am just now getting a little ovulation pain and a little EWCM so cycle 3 promises to turn out like cycle 2. In short AF may be back but with such a short luteal phase even if we did fertilize and egg it might not implant.
It's just as well bc I got the fever but I have resolve to wait to TTC until sometime March-Sept next year when DD is 2-2.5years old.
Also, one of my besties will be TTC around March '15 and we hope to be pregnant at the same time or at least have a strong overlap. She had a stillbirth last October due to pre-e and HELLP syndrome. She will be working with a specialist and be heavily monitored so I know the fun of being KU together will ease some of her stress. I'm going to start a WAP fertility/ Dr. Brewer nutrition plan with her next month as long as her BP still looks good and they take her off of her meds. I didn't do a fertility diet prior to DD but I am really looking forward to doing it especially with my friend.
It's great to hear all the other people on here that use FAM. My ear thermometer kept giving me some inaccurate readings so I spent $20 and ordered a basal thermometer. It actually comes with a built in timer that sounds softly. I'm really looking forward to using it and charting! We hope to transition completely to FAM soon. My hubby was a little leery of trying FAM, but I told him we're going TTC in a year so we can use FAM until then and if we get a surprise baby it's okay. If we don't then we know it will work and can use it after the next baby is born. I really want to use FAM, because other birth control options don't look so great to me. I was on the pill about a year ago, and had forgotten to take a pill one day, so the next day I took the one I forgot and the one I would be taking (as per instructions) anyways I ended up breaking out pretty badly in hives. I then looked back and had noticed that I had been having slight hive episodes previously. My doctor said it was HIGHLY unlikely that bc caused it and that it was just coincidental, but I don't think so. (And I wasn't willing to keep taking it to test it out either.) I didn't believe him because the only other time I've had hives was about ten years ago due to a medication (and I had taken the medication for a while, then starting noticing slight hives, then one day woke up with severe hives and had to go to ER.) Since I've stopped the pill I haven't had any hives at all so I really do believe that was it.
I would love to see everyone's crafts!!! It might give me so motivation to get some stuff done around here too!
I've recently started charting, but we're still using condoms until I get a few cycles' worth of data under my belt. I used to know exactly when I ovulated because my left ovary would ache, but I had it removed in January because of a 10cm dermoid cyst that had taken over so now I've got no idea! lol We DTD last night, and I was so tempted to poke a hole in the condom... HA! I would never do that, though, because having another baby must be both of our decisions. I find it on my mind more and more, though. I MISS being pregnant, and watching my son grow and develop has been the coolest experience of my life.
Dang, I really missed MDC!
wife to an AMAZING dude and mommy to an awesome 9 month old boy
aslandess I was homeschooled growing up, there where a few things that I think I missed out on by staying home, but that might have been due to my mom's style of teaching and structure than anything else. Overall I loved homeschooling. I'm not sure if that is something I can do for my own kids yet, good thing I have a few years to decide still. So cute about your dd's note, I'm glad it has been so rewarding already.
afm I have been taking my temps inconsistently for a couple of months. I had temps in the 97 degree range, earlier in the month but stopped temping the 11th. I started again on the 21st and my temps have been in the 98 degree range. I figured I must have ovulated sometime in those 10 days I didn't take my temperature, or possible just before. Anyway I decided to take hpt this morning just for kicks, I guess we are not waiting anymore, it was positive! I'm a little nervous because I had an early loss before getting pregnant with my dd but regardless, I guess its time for me to move on from this thread. Good luck to everyone waiting, thanks for letting me wait with you for the last several months
@aslandess that is so awesome that home school is going well for you! I plan to homeschool too. I was also homeschooled most of my school years. My mom did not do very well and I ended up teaching mysel the last four years and then taking my GED halfway through high school so I sort of feel like I learned what not to do :P I am a ways off from my first born starting school but I am already doing my research on what I am going to do and how. I want to do well.
I got my thermometer from Walmart. It is a fertility monitoring thermometer. I don't know why, I think bc it takes your temp to the 100th? Anyway it was reccomended and I like it. I even put it through the wash by accident and it still works great.
I had a horrible depressed feeling taking BCPs. I can have depressive side effects with various kinds of meds though. I am so glad that I do not have to take anything regularly. Side effects are for.the.birds.
I am nervous that maybe we might have an oops baby one day but I would be nervous about that taking BCPs or using condoms/diaphragm or with an IUD or anything really. I am just 'noid like that I guess.
@ultrafighter welcome! I miss being pregnant too. I have so many good reasons for waiting until next spring to start TTC but I still daydream about being KU right now!
@katydid09 congrats! You will be missed here. Also, sweet blanket! Thanks for sharing!
I agree about other BC options. My friend had the copper IUD for about six years and thinks that it may have contributed to her stillbirth. I know that I did not like the way my body felt on BCPs.
So, DD is cutting incisors and I have been really tired bc of it. I still managed to make Yoga a regular part of my week and I did the monkey bars three times to today while she and I were at the park. We actually started this baby and me yoga class that is fun.
DD has not napped today or yesterday but went to be 2-3 hours earlier and got up at her regular time. She slept a little better too. I am hoping it is bc of teething or maybe the start of the 18 month wakeful since she seems to have started the language explosion early? I really hope that it is not the start of something new. So far she has been really early at dropping naps. Not a cool thing to be a avant garde about, kid.
I plan to work out another project for next week and hopefully then work out how to post a pic!
|Family Planning , Fertility|