Wanting But Waiting 2014 - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 470 Old 01-14-2014, 07:33 PM
 
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WWWHHHHHHAAAAATTT!?!?! R u serious? I have *got* to get into this!
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#32 of 470 Old 01-15-2014, 04:03 PM
 
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Yeah, the craziest part is that I've managed to maintain my weight btw 130-140lbs since the switch to paleo, that was 18 months ago. And while many in the paleo community are heavily into working out and cross fit, I follow a more holistic approach to fitness: Walk a LOT (no car), play outside with my toddler a LOT, and a yoga class once a week smile.gif

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#33 of 470 Old 01-15-2014, 04:05 PM
 
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For perspective I was 180 at the time of Kai's birth, and never got below 160 since I was 13, despite"eating well", playing soccer and dancing all through school, and maintaining gym memberships and personal trainers.

Now I get to eat bacon and butter and I'm happy smile.gif

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#34 of 470 Old 01-15-2014, 04:06 PM
 
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Www.thepaleomom.com is where I got started!

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#35 of 470 Old 01-15-2014, 04:06 PM
 
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I really need to learn to consolidate my thoughts into a single post, sigh.

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#36 of 470 Old 01-15-2014, 04:07 PM
 
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Excuse the duplicate posts, not sure how our why that happened

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#37 of 470 Old 01-16-2014, 09:30 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I've been really enjoying this thread while waiting out the 2WW and resisting the urge to obsessively think it to death (symptom spotting, testing too soon...). I don't know how I feel about it all, actually I  guess I *know* that I am feeling conflicted. My hubby has been telling me that it is fine to be conflicted, but to be mindful and objective about the process so the it doesn't hijack my mood. So I'm doing that, not testing until I clearly have missed a period, and not research stories about every scenario like mine. I do in fact believe that waiting to TTC this Summer is best for us all, but it will be oh so hard in practice as my body keeps wanting me to do it now!! Expecting AF by Sunday.

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#38 of 470 Old 01-16-2014, 01:36 PM
 
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I know how you're feeling writermama, logically waiting until June is smartest for my family, but I have the fever baaaaaaaad!!!
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#39 of 470 Old 01-16-2014, 01:36 PM
 
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The universe will support you and your family, no matter when your next child joins the world <3
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#40 of 470 Old 01-17-2014, 01:33 AM
 
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I've been reading all the Paleo stuff and I'm honestly confused as to where to start?  It's hard for me to make massive changes overnight, so I was thinking I could start small but confident and I have no clue where I'm so confused with all the stuff I've read!  LOL

 

For those that are Paleo, what would be the first thing you would recommend that I could change?

 

I'm trying to keep my mind and body busy right now as I have baby fever bad!  I can't TTC now, no matter how much I'd like too as I can't be heavily pregnant or due in September or October...  So I figured I'd work on my diet!  LOL

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#41 of 470 Old 01-17-2014, 06:49 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Seven-- I think that is a great goal to focus on. Start with what you think is manageable right now, like everything not nutritional: processed foods like pasta, boxed goods, and all refined sugar products. I am better at cutting it all out at once because if I eat a little, I begin to make lots of small cheats and exceptions and finally end up eating 70good/30bad, which isn't great.


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#42 of 470 Old 01-17-2014, 04:33 PM
 
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Seven of you can cut processed sugar and all grains you will be 50% there! Then I'd focus on oils (getting rid of vegetable oils, start cooking with coconut oil, full fat grassfed butter like kerrigold which is sold at TJ's, or tallow), and then work on the less obvious stuff like getting better quality meat and limiting starchy vegetables. You can totally do this! Give yourself 30 days to try it and see how you feel after that deadline. I was a month to month paleo for the first 6 smile.gif

Writermama hit on a great point, most paleo folks do a ratio of paleo/standard diet that falls around 80/20. I have autoimmune stuff so I'm more strict, but it took me a year of adjusting to find a good balance!

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#43 of 470 Old 01-18-2014, 11:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
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So, I think we may have made a baby, but I haven't tested yet. Happy and bummed at the same time. I've planned my last two so well that l

I am disappointed in myself for not sticking with the plan. Yes, we will all survive and have fun with another one folding right into the mix...but I am worried about my 10 mo baby feeling shafted. So, happy and sad. But hey, maybe it is just a crazy cycle and my period will show...


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#44 of 470 Old 01-19-2014, 05:37 AM
 
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Oooo Writermama - it'll be fine, it really will!  I had all my kids very close in age, and actually they're so well bonded, there was never any issue with jealousy or any problems like that.

 

Thank you girls for the info.  I am cutting out grains (I don't eat a lot anyway) and taking your advice.  I tried to get my family on board but my Hubby and kids had a virtual meltdown when they thought they'd have to give up their bread and cereal that other than the dinners I make, they're not participating (yet!)...

 

I'm in a funk today.  I have been dreaming about pregnancy and another baby joining our family for well over a month now.  Last nights was particularly vivid and was all about me shopping at 31 weeks for gender neutral clothes etc.  It was so real, I woke up and felt my stomach and realised I actually am not pregnant and it's left me feeling a bit desolate and depressed right now.  :(

 

Ho hum.  I de-cluttered my utensil drawer in an effort to keep myself from thinking about it, so at least something good came from it all!  LOL

 

How is everyone feeling?  Writermama (sorry I don't know any of your real names!), when are you planning on testing?


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#45 of 470 Old 01-19-2014, 06:45 AM
 
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Keep us posted writer!!
I ended up with AF today, wasn't due till Wednesday. But I O'd early so ya know. But kinda all works out Wednesday is my Bday so at least mother nature decided that it would be one messed up Bday present, so I guess that's why its early LOL.
Writer I totally get the mixed feelings, excited but trying not to panic. Then AF brings a disappointment as well as relief LOL

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#46 of 470 Old 01-19-2014, 08:17 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I think I might test tomorrow morning. Af will be one day late at that point. Feeling fairly certain that I am preg though. Hit with morning sickness at exactly midmorning again today, which makes three days in a row now, along with like a slew of other symptoms that I sometimes get while pregnant (chills, wicked headache that won't go away, insomnia, ravenous hunger then nausea then hunger...) so if I am not pregnant, I would be shocked at this point.

Seven, thanks so much for sharing your experience. It does make me feel better that I am not *ruining* the family by having them close.I do really worry about losing my milk and about my poor body being taxed after having two so close, but I am determined to treat it kindly and exercise and eat clean. Little to no cheats and no emotional eating if I can help it!! I'll let you guys know!


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#47 of 470 Old 01-19-2014, 04:48 PM
 
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I'm gonna be jealous (in a good way) !
It's just so hard to think logically and rationally when you have baby fever! I don't even comprehend myself sometimes. I want a baby but I can wait till fall to TTC, then I just don't want a baby, then I want a baby *now* I'm ridiculous!
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#48 of 470 Old 01-20-2014, 04:34 AM - Thread Starter
 
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BFN this morning. I don't know what to think of it yet. One side of me thinks it should be pretty accurate, the other side recalls my last pregnancy with a BFP finally at 19 dpo. So I guess I'll wait to see if I get a late period n test in a few days if AF doesn't show. Hmmm...


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#49 of 470 Old 01-21-2014, 01:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
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3LilChunkIins-- no need to be jealous!! I am not pregnant! AF today. Looks like my 2nd PP worked crazy-hard at ramping up my hormones to restart fertility or something because in all my years of pregnancies (6 total) and AF, I've never been so convinced that I was pregnant and been WRONG--HA! But really, despite this not being a good time, I was still pretty beat up over getting AF. Once I got attached to the idea of another baby, it was hard to let go.

 

Going forward I need a better plan for handling my ovulation hormones, so we are committing to condoms and planning to TTC come July. Yay!

 

How is everyone else doing?

 

After my period arrived, I totally threw good eating habits out the window (beer and pizza) and will certainly pay the price later. I am looking forward to dropping more weight and building some muscle before the next baby is in town. I just ordered a triple pack of Perfect prenatal vitamins and OPK/HPT from Wondfo...getting ready!


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#50 of 470 Old 01-21-2014, 02:16 PM
 
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I'm a couple of days "late" at this point but my cycle isn't like clockwork and I haven't had any early preg symptoms.  Which is a good thing, because we're facing unexpected financial issues.  Between that and my last year of grad school, a baby in 2014 would not be a good idea :(


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#51 of 470 Old 01-21-2014, 03:06 PM
 
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Aw, I'm happy and sad for ya writer
Keep us posted Chaika

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#52 of 470 Old 01-27-2014, 09:15 PM
 
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Mind if I join? I am a SAHM to a 2 year old and a 5 month old. I want my kids to be closer in age (18-24 months) so I have to wait until summer at the earliest. Unfortunately I occasionally have the irrational urge to get pregnant now and don't have the best will power when it comes to babies. I'm hoping that if I come here I'll keep from snooping on the pregnancy boards as much :)

 

I am also trying to eat healthier and hopefully lose 10-15 lbs while I wait. It would be nice to follow along with you ladies that are trying to do the same and learn from you that are already living a healthier lifestyle.

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#53 of 470 Old 01-27-2014, 09:25 PM
 
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This applies to me, too. I would like to try to conceive in July-September of this year, so as to end up with a late spring/early summer 2015 baby. I don't want the new baby's birthday to be too close to any major holidays (especially Christmas!) or my other three children's birthdays. Also, I am trying to work around my husband's busy times at work, so hopefully, he would be able to take a week or two off after the birth. 

 

My two biggest issues are: 1) My husband isn't completely sold on having a 4th child. He's not completely opposed, either, but I think he's pretty happy that our kids are becoming more independent, and he's a little afraid of going back to the baby stage after we've been out of it for quite a while. Also...he is almost 40. He's in decent shape, but he's not as spry as he used to be! ;-)

 

2) If we have a late spring/early summer 2015 baby, the gap will be about five years between the baby and our 3rd child. Five years. That seems like a lot. Our other three are spaced pretty close together (which is one of the main reasons we postponed having a 4th...caring for 3 closely-spaced little ones is so demanding! Rewarding, but so physically and emotionally draining). I'm finally at a place where I feel ready to give a new little one the time and attention he/she deserves, but I just pray that a 4th baby would fit in with the other siblings who have had so much longer to bond with each other already.

 

I've hinted (a lot) to my husband that I have been thinking about having a 4th, but I haven't yet sat down with him and had a serious "I DEFINITELY want another child" conversation. I don't want to manipulate or pressure him. I would ideally like him to really be interested in having a baby, too, and not just do it because I want one. He's a great dad, and I know he would be very supportive if I were to get pregnant, but I don't want it to be all my decision.

 

Anyway, assuming that he agrees to try for a 4th, these are things I plan to do to prepare:

 

Lose at least 20 pounds. I already eat pretty healthily, although I have been indulging in ice cream (my biggest weakness!) way more than I should. I'm going to use the treadmill at least 4 times/week and only eat ice cream once a week. I need to scale back some of my portions, as well. 

 

Stop coloring my hair a couple months before trying to conceive (this will be kind of hard for me, as I am only 30 but have noticeably gray hair around my temples when I don't dye it).

 

Begin taking prenatal vitamins about two months before trying to conceive.

 

That's pretty much it. I hope to be able to have the "big" conversation pretty soon with my husband regarding trying to conceive a 4th.

 

Update 1/29: So we had our big talk, and he was supportive and understanding. He wants some time to think and pray about it, but he said he's almost to the point of saying yes. ;-)

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#54 of 470 Old 01-28-2014, 09:13 AM
 
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As for the 5 year age gap, its actually pretty nice! My 3rd and 4th have a 4 and a half year gap, and. its perfect for our family! I don't think #3 would have been ready to be a bug bro any sooner.


I was unsure where to post this, but I guess here will be ok. It might be a lil TMI...
So on cycle day 7 DH pulled out as usual but then re-entered without wiping off or anything. I'm temping to try to pinpoint the O day. But my cycles are still wacky, they haven't really regulated since the birth of DS3 yet, he's 11 months. But my cycles have been as short as 23 days and as long as 48. So should I be worried /excited? I don't think I will O until around CD 14, but last month I O'd on CD 12. Which my TCOYF book says sperm can survive for 5 days inside the female .... so if I O on CD 12 again or sooner, there's potential swimmers on the loose!

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#55 of 470 Old 01-29-2014, 10:44 AM
 
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I officially have the worst luck with thermometers!! I think I'm going to buy one of the old fashioned ones that doesn't take a battery. Mine said Iwas 96.2 last night before bed. I made DH use it to see if I'm just cold blooded, it said he was 96.4 so I cannot trust it for taking my morning temps.
But I do think I o'd. I had a sharp cramp in my right ovary and was spotting a bit this morning . So we shall see what happens...

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#56 of 470 Old 01-29-2014, 02:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Oooo, kinda exciting 3lilchunklins, will be watching here.

 

I have been rationalizing TTC sooner :) Yes, it seems like the best thing to do to wait, but then I think about all these other perks to having one sooner...like being the final baby into the mix while the others are still younger, being finished with the baby-anchor stage sooner and so I can join in on family outings and camping/hiking/fun once the middle boys are a little older rather than having a baby along...really, I am just nit-picking over a few months, so I don't think it makes too much of a difference in the long run if the final kids are 23 months apart or 27 months apart. That stuff only matters for the first six months, when everyone is adjusting anyway.

 

Honestly, I don't know why I am talking myself into TTC sooner. Maybe it just fulfills my hormonal need to get pregnant again, and May seems so much sooner than August. Maybe it's that I am actually kinda DONE with all the baby stuff and I am nervous that soon, once out of the clingy baby stage and once I am getting more sleep I won't want to have another abby any more, so why not just hurry up and make another now before I come to my senses and remember how it feels to be a whole human/...I don't know. But it's bad. Real bad. Evey time I see DH I begin to talk to him about it. Rationalizing. Heh.


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#57 of 470 Old 01-29-2014, 03:43 PM
 
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I do the same darn thing. I know if I'm driving myself crazy with this I'm surely driving him up the wall!

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#58 of 470 Old 01-30-2014, 07:31 AM
 
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Maybe I didn't O after all, DH got me one of those old fashioned thermometers and it said 97.2 this morning. I believe it should be higher than that if I O'd. So I had secondary fertility signs but no thermal shift, so I think that's like close but no cigar! Probably just a big ole false alarm

I've been reading TCOYF. It appears that dull achiness in the ovaries is normal before ovulation,its the eggs maturing and "fighting for dominance"...? I think it said it makes your ovaries swell a bit hence the cramps. Then the sharp pain you feel in one side or the other is the actual releasing of the egg. So the cramping I had in my right ovary is just the eggs fighting LOL. I don't think I've really ever been this crampy before ovulation before.... I guess I can thank BFing for my hormones being all wacky!

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#59 of 470 Old 01-30-2014, 02:05 PM
 
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Hello All! 

 

I'm jumping (back) into this thread.  It always seems like I start here, talk myself out of (or into) another child and then have to come back again when the baby fever hits.

 

I have two sons, 4.5 and 20 months.  Both were planned, conceived and born without a hitch.  My husband is adamant that we are done.  He says that he hates the first year, he never wanted to have more than two children and is deathly afraid of having a child with special needs.  He actually broke down in tears the couple of times we have talked about this. 

 

You'd think with all that that I would be able to close the door on more children but I can't.  I am conflicted about having another but there is some small part of me that just can't let go of the idea that our family is supposed to have three children.  If I wanted to keep the just-a-little-shy of three years spacing between kids, we should start TTC in April.  I like this spacing and I certainly don't want to have a larger spacing because I too am ready to be out of the baby stage.  But I want another baby...

 

There are also financial reasons that another baby would be a questionable decision.  I currently work part-time but with a third, would have to quit my job and stay at home for at least a year.  That would cause serious financial angst.  I know that we would end up fine and its not that we would lose our house.  But it seems irresponsible to go into it knowing the havoc that me not working would cause.  Plus a whole other kid worth of expenses.

 

But in 5-10 years all the turmoil and hard parts will be over and there will be new challenges that have nothing to do with having 2 or 3 kids.  The bottom line is that I know I will never regret having a third child but I might regret NOT having a third child.  

 

And there's the problem of my husband adamantly not wanting another kid.

 

Anyway, happy to be joining you all because its helps curb the desire to join the TTC threads. 

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Everything will be ok in the end.  If it's not ok, then it's not the end - Paolo Coelho  

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#60 of 470 Old 01-30-2014, 02:48 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Welcome Andthestars!

 

Sooooo, dh is sooooo dreamy to me right now! He told me that he will make as many babies as I want! Oh, what?!? Good thing for our pocket book hat I don't have plans to have many more but this news also somehow calms any anxiety I secretly harbor over planning children, spacing, gender...etc. He also said whenever it happens is great. We'll be fine. I am loving his spontaneity and easy-going vibes. He's such a hippie in an intellectual professional persona. Even though I feel like I've kinda been let loose in the candy store, I need to keep my personal priorities straight. But it will be hard.....oh, so hard. Maybe August is to damn far away! Ha ha.


Wife to my Sweetness and Light, DH (03), WAHM to DS('01), DS('11), and DS('13). Encouraging mothers everywhere to write for their lives. Expecting our fourth and final baby( It's a GIRL!!!) in January 2015.
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