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#601 of 621 Old 12-08-2014, 03:41 PM
 
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Welcome @itybitywity ! My son is 17 months old too. He is feeling too grown up to me sometimes. I feel a little sad, but it is nice to be getting a little more sleep.



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#602 of 621 Old 12-08-2014, 05:53 PM
 
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Ah the pre-pregnancy to-do list. This is mine:
  • Physical & Bloodwork
  • PAP smear
  • Start taking pre-natal vitamins
  • Establish a good self-care routine (diet and exercise)
  • Find a good OBGYN or Midwife

We just bought a house and that's making me really feel settled for the first time in probably 20 years. My early career was spent on the road all the time. And then my husband and I were expats abroad and traveled constantly for his work. My son was born overseas and it was all very exciting but the mother in me deep down wanted to nest and I couldn't. As we plan out rooms and I chart out where all the furniture is going I keep pluralizing "kid" to "kids" and reminding hubby to leave space here or there for another bed or partition the closet for new baby things. He grins. He's so ready to do this.

I was reading about some of you waiting for your partners to be ready and I thought a lot about this period in our relationship. I feel like women seek other women for counsel and we process parenting fears differently. Men often miss out on some really important mentorship. Seek out couples with kids who you look up to and spend more time with them. When you don't have children yet you might be hanging out with other folks without kids and possibly hearing a lot of their negative "never want kids" rhetoric which is not very helpful. For us, we had a couple who were almost 10 years our Sr who really took us under their wing and we spent a lot of time with them as they raised their three amazing kids. They both had some very helpful conversations with each of us about how they balanced career and parenting. Now we're all living close by again and our little boy has three older and doting honorary cousins to look up to. It takes a village.
My pre TTC list is very similar. In fact, I'm waiting on Vitex and Prenatals to arrive in the mail. I'm also going to really spend the next year focusing on Natural Health and Wellness which has always been an interest of mine anyways. But now I'm really going to focus on prepping my body to be ready and in optimum health. I'm focusing on limiting caffeine, switching to mostly green tea for now, and removing anything potentially toxic from my diet or beauty regime. Im hoping the Vitex might help with hormonal acne, slightly irregular cycles, and PMS and potentially strengthen my fertility for when we start TTC. Since TTC is 15 months away, do you think it's okay to start Vitex this soon? Also, anyone have any good success to share regarding Vitex?
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#603 of 621 Old 12-09-2014, 01:36 PM
 
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Vitex reaches optimum effectiveness after taking it for several months so I think it's ok to start early. I took it for a while, probably a year or so, and it did change my cycle, but I did not have success with it. I never had irregular cycles though.



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#604 of 621 Old 12-11-2014, 12:06 AM
 
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@pokeyac , sleep? What is this sleep thing you speak of? I think I might like it.

So DH and I finally had a chance to sit down and talk baby tonight after the kids were in bed. He was kind of surprised that I wanted to TTC right away, since we had previously agreed to wait until summer. He listened to my concerns though, and explained his. It was a really good conversation. We didn't really come to a decision yet, he wants to think about it more before hand and we probably have at least a week before we need to decide for this cycle. I put the responsibility for TTA in his hands for the time being though. Went over my chart with him so he knows when I'm likely to be fertile and said its his choice if we use a condom or not.

I feel much calmer just having talked this over with him. (and cried a bit) I always feel better when we tackle things as a team. He reassured me that it's not now or never, it's now or in a few months. And even if I continue getting sicker in the meantime (which nobody wants) I will likely feel better once I'm pregnant again. So...whew. At least I'm not thinking myself in circles freaking out anymore. It also helped that I talked to my midwife and layed out a baby budget - it might be tight but we could afford to have a baby now.

As others have been posting their pre-TTC to do lists, I'll chime in with mine;
- get a bigger car (ours only fits two in back)
- build up savings/pay down debt
- be more consistent about exercise
- start taking magnesium & probiotics & maybe cod liver oil (I picked up some magnesium today!)

I hope everyone here is doing well. I kind of miss sidrajedi and her check in questions for keeping up with how we're all doing.

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#605 of 621 Old 12-11-2014, 12:07 PM
 
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Hey everyone! Sorry I've been gone for a while, but my mom finally moved out and into her own place. The kids definitely miss her, but I'm just glad to have our space back to ourselves and getting back into our old routines.

My IUD is out now, but we've decided to wait until the end of January to actively TTC. Right now we're planning on using condoms during my fertile times. We originally planned on TTC right away, but I really want to have a full cycle or two ahead of actively trying since I have had an IUD in for 5+ years. I've been patiently waiting for a few months to get it removed, 4-6 more weeks won't hurt anything.

I miss the check in questions as well!

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#606 of 621 Old 12-12-2014, 01:10 PM
 
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@pokeyac , sleep? What is this sleep thing you speak of? I think I might like it.
I think when the babes start to sleep through the night, we have to learn how to do it all over again ourselves. C has been waking up before 6am every day. I usually am lying in bed awake before he is up anyway.

I'm glad you had such a good talk. It sounds very productive even if you didn't come to an agreement yet.



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#607 of 621 Old 12-12-2014, 05:04 PM
 
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I'm still waiting for the day when my kids sleep through the night. DD is almost 11 and she is still up once or twice, though thankfully she doesn't need me for anything usually. DS is not quite 18 months and wakes every 3-4 hours, sometimes more. It's usually because he has to pee so I don't know any way to get him to sleep through. When he was in diapers he'd fuss til I changed him, now he squirms around til I take him potty. I think I can just say goodbye to a good nights sleep for the next few years.

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#608 of 621 Old 12-18-2014, 01:35 PM
 
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Well I'm officially in the TWW! After all our debating and discussions about reasons for or against TTC, DH got a bit lazy with the birth control. which is exactly how DS happened, so I'm feeling pretty positive about being knocked up. If it doesn't happen this cycle though we'll likely wait til summer, in which case I'll be back to wait with you a bit longer.

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#609 of 621 Old 12-21-2014, 03:50 PM
 
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Well I'm officially in the TWW! After all our debating and discussions about reasons for or against TTC, DH got a bit lazy with the birth control. which is exactly how DS happened, so I'm feeling pretty positive about being knocked up. If it doesn't happen this cycle though we'll likely wait til summer, in which case I'll be back to wait with you a bit longer.
Oh YAY, @LTurtle !!!, I hope this TWW is successful!

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#610 of 621 Old 12-21-2014, 08:07 PM
 
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Sorry to be MIA. Thanks to everyone who answered my questions. I finally got to go to my OBGYN appt and she did diagnose me with PCOS and I should be starting Metformin Monday hopefully. She just wants to make sure that nothing else comes back abnormal in my lab work she did last Thursday. She told me I could take the Metformin and the Vitex together since the Vitex has improved my cycles so far. I use to have acne and its barely there now. She also told me that if I started Birth Control (Mononessa) and stayed on it for 6 months atleast before trying to conceive it would improve my odds. She said studies showed that taking BC with Metformin for atleast 6 months before trying to conceive improved chances of pregnancy in woman with PCOS. So my fingers are crossed for that. Now I am going to aks my doctor about taking Magnesium Citrate to help with some ill effects the Vitamin D has been causing me. I did get good news though. I might be able to start trying to conceive as early as August now. My OBGYN doesnt do IUIs with sperm donors but she is going to get me a doctor that I can go to when I am ready. Hopefully I will get to go as soon as June. I want to talk to him about all the pricing and information ahead of time. Since I will be a Single Mother my insurance want cover any thing with fertility. I also will be getting the future babies room ready this summer. I am so excited now that its getting close. I have always wanted to be a mother.
@LTurtle My fingers are crossed for you to get a BFP!
@pokeyac I may have questions for you about the IUI process sooner than I thought. Thanks for always answering my questions.
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#611 of 621 Old 12-22-2014, 07:04 PM
 
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Hi ladies.
@LTurtle -- hope you get a BFP! Keep us posted!

Sorry, I need to vent a little. So, I found out in October that my current midwife doesn't take my new health insurance that my job switched to. I was SO upset, mostly because I spent a year trying to find the perfect one that I would be with us through our first pregnancy. Well, I feel like it was a blessing in disguise. I made an annual appt. for a PAP with a midwife located 3 blocks away from our apartment and she is STELLAR. She is also affiliated with the hospital that is also a 3 block walk from our apt., so when I go into labor one day, we can just walk over. (we don't have a vehicle). WIN!

The problem is, is that my PAP came back normal, but I tested positive for HPV. I know it is common and as long as the PAP is normal, that is good. She still wants me to do a colposcopy, which I'm scheduled for the day after Christmas. I'm nervous and wondering if this has happened to anyone? I'm hoping that dealing with this will not push back our plans for TTC in the summer and that it doesn't effect being able to conceive? I don't know much about it.

I also have a history of cancer in my family (mom passed from breast cancer at 44 and grandfather on the same side died from colon cancer at 79). I have to have a mammogram screening in Jan. and midwife wants me to get genetic BRCA testing. I'm going crazy.

I'm 30 years old and feel like I'm too young for any of this shit! (excuse my language). Thanks for listening! xo

kristi, 30 years old. married to eric 8.17.13.  looking forward to being a mama.

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#612 of 621 Old 12-23-2014, 04:58 AM
 
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This is really getting to me lately. Things just keep falling apart and it's really hard to know when we'll actually be in a position to be able to TTC. DP suggested that at some point we should just say 'screw it' and throw consequence to the wind, but I'm really not comfortable doing that. Why is it so hard to find a job that pays a living wage?

We considered starting TTC after Christmas (isn't going to be happening), my job is hell right now, kiddo's going nuclear, AF showed up early (after months of showing up weeks late @_@), I keep seeing families with little babies and it's just all hitting me.


this is just a moment in time, step aside and let it happen
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#613 of 621 Old 12-23-2014, 07:53 AM
 
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This is really getting to me lately. Things just keep falling apart and it's really hard to know when we'll actually be in a position to be able to TTC. DP suggested that at some point we should just say 'screw it' and throw consequence to the wind, but I'm really not comfortable doing that. Why is it so hard to find a job that pays a living wage?

We considered starting TTC after Christmas (isn't going to be happening), my job is hell right now, kiddo's going nuclear, AF showed up early (after months of showing up weeks late @_@), I keep seeing families with little babies and it's just all hitting me.
hugs to you @sillysapling

I know what you mean. I feel like everyone around me has babies and I'm dying to start our family. I know the responsible thing to do is to wait until I finish school so that is what we'll do. Also, DH has been out of work for a few months and just started a new job a week ago. He's only making $10/hour but at least it's something! Doing my best to stay positive. Hoping we can get it together since I hope to have our pre-conception visit with our midwife soon. Luckily, my career is pretty stable.

Are you looking for work for yourself or your husband? I feel like there is always a way to make things work and if you want another baby, you will figure out how to make it happen. We're here for you!

kristi, 30 years old. married to eric 8.17.13.  looking forward to being a mama.
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#614 of 621 Old 12-23-2014, 09:36 AM
 
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Hi ladies.
@LTurtle -- hope you get a BFP! Keep us posted!

Sorry, I need to vent a little. So, I found out in October that my current midwife doesn't take my new health insurance that my job switched to. I was SO upset, mostly because I spent a year trying to find the perfect one that I would be with us through our first pregnancy. Well, I feel like it was a blessing in disguise. I made an annual appt. for a PAP with a midwife located 3 blocks away from our apartment and she is STELLAR. She is also affiliated with the hospital that is also a 3 block walk from our apt., so when I go into labor one day, we can just walk over. (we don't have a vehicle). WIN!

The problem is, is that my PAP came back normal, but I tested positive for HPV. I know it is common and as long as the PAP is normal, that is good. She still wants me to do a colposcopy, which I'm scheduled for the day after Christmas. I'm nervous and wondering if this has happened to anyone? I'm hoping that dealing with this will not push back our plans for TTC in the summer and that it doesn't effect being able to conceive? I don't know much about it.

I also have a history of cancer in my family (mom passed from breast cancer at 44 and grandfather on the same side died from colon cancer at 79). I have to have a mammogram screening in Jan. and midwife wants me to get genetic BRCA testing. I'm going crazy.

I'm 30 years old and feel like I'm too young for any of this shit! (excuse my language). Thanks for listening! xo
I hope this puts your mind at ease. I had a leep procedure after a colposcopy showed moderate dysphasia in 2003. I was 21. With a LEEP they take a cone biopsy and it is a significantly larger biopsy than just a colposcopy, which is just a small tissue sample. Years later I came to find out that now they would consider the Leep not necessary and that even that kind of dysplasia' abnormal cells' usually resolves on its own. But regardless, I was able to go on and I have two full-term successful pregnancy's despite that history. I did not have any complications or a difficult time getting pregnant. My sister recently had to have a colposcopy while she was pregnant after 28 weeks and everything turned out fine. Additionally, after I had my IUD out two years ago, the doctor saw a little polyp on my cervix and she wanted to do a Colposcopy to confirm it was just a polyp- I mentioned to her that I had hoped to have another baby in the future and expressed my concern about having so many biopsies and she assured me that it was really just looking at the cervix and taking a small sample of the polyp and that it would not in any way negatively impact a future pregnancy. The polyp just turned out to be a little area of inflammation-- I believe it was due to having the IUD in because I had lots of other problems with that as well.
My mother also had breast cancer she was diagnosed at age 42, she is still living and is cancer free right now. I am sorry to hear about your mother-- I know how hard that is to go through.
I am supposed to have a mammogram starting this year and I'm a little bit nervous about it just because I want to start trying to conceive next year in early 2016 and I don't think that the radiation exposure will cause a problem but I'm still nervous about it.
I know what you mean about feeling like you are too young to be having to do this. My mom was BRCA negative thankfully. Congratulations on finding a good midwife, that is my goal this year

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#615 of 621 Old 12-23-2014, 10:00 AM
 
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Vitex reaches optimum effectiveness after taking it for several months so I think it's ok to start early. I took it for a while, probably a year or so, and it did change my cycle, but I did not have success with it. I never had irregular cycles though.

I've been meaning to ask this but I was sick the last couple of weeks. Do you mind if I ask why you were taking Vitex if your periods were already regular? You said it did not work for you so I was just wondering what result you were trying to achieve with it? And since it didn't work for you what did help to acheive your desired end result? My periods are regular but range between a 30 to 34 day cycle on average and In the last year when I've charted I have had a 12 -13 day luteal phase. So I was considering taking Vitex, but since I never had problems conceiving in the past Im not sure if I should or not? I was never really charting or paid as much attention to my cycle and luteal phase etc back when I conceived, I just went by monitoring CM. I was interested in Vitex maybe just to shorten my cycle length a little, help with occasional hormonal acne and increase my fertility overall since I am in my 30s. Although I've never had a problem, I just want to do everything I can proactively before trying to conceive. I've never been diagnosed with PCOS or any fertility issues. Thoughts?

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#616 of 621 Old 12-23-2014, 10:55 AM
 
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hugs to you @sillysapling

I know what you mean. I feel like everyone around me has babies and I'm dying to start our family. I know the responsible thing to do is to wait until I finish school so that is what we'll do. Also, DH has been out of work for a few months and just started a new job a week ago. He's only making $10/hour but at least it's something! Doing my best to stay positive. Hoping we can get it together since I hope to have our pre-conception visit with our midwife soon. Luckily, my career is pretty stable.

Are you looking for work for yourself or your husband? I feel like there is always a way to make things work and if you want another baby, you will figure out how to make it happen. We're here for you!
Both of us are looking. Right now I make 8.50/hr and dp can't find a job that either works around my hours or covers the cost of daycare. We graduated in may and both expected at least ONE of us would get a decent job. It's been 6 months and it's easy to feel hopeless. We're in an area with a good economy, relatively speaking. Were both discussing going back to school but are so jaded. If we'd spent the last four years sitting around playing video games we would be in the exact same place job wise, but with far less debt. :|
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#617 of 621 Old 12-23-2014, 11:15 AM
 
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I've been meaning to ask this but I was sick the last couple of weeks. Do you mind if I ask why you were taking Vitex if your periods were already regular? You said it did not work for you so I was just wondering what result you were trying to achieve with it? And if it didn't work for you what what did help to retrieve whatever your end result was? My periods are regular but range between a 30 to 34 day cycle on average and In the last year when I've charted I have a 12 -13day luteal phase. So I was consideringd taking Vitex, but I never had problems conceiving in the past however I was never really charting or paid as much attention to my cycle and luteal phase etc back when I conceived. I was interested in it maybe just to shorten my cycle length a little, help with occasional hormonal acne and increase my fertility overall since I am in my 30s. I've ever had a problem but I'm just wanting to do everything proactively before trying to conceive. I've never been diagnosed with PC OS or any fertility issues. Thoughts?
I was working with a midwife who advises people who are trying to conceive and she recommended Vitex because my progesterone was low. When I took it, my cycle went from about 25 days to 28-29 days mostly because the follicular phase got longer. I don't think it really helped my progesterone much. I took B6 after a while and that did seem to help. I also ended up taking a progersterone supplement my doctor prescribed. I say it didn't work for me because I did get pregnant on cycle #6 but I had an early miscarriage. I stopped taking it and my cycle got shorter and I conceived my son on cycle #9 . By that time, I was taking metformin, using Femara/letrozole, injectable drugs, a trigger shot and progesterone. I had read that Vitex does not work well with Clomid after I took them at the same time. So for me, I felt like I was better off without it, but I can't say for sure. I was taking a lot of other things. It does seem to help a lot of people, but I think it should be taken with serious consideration. It is an herb but herbs are drugs and should not be taken lightly.



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#618 of 621 Old 12-23-2014, 04:56 PM
 
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@mamadance84 I hope everything is ok with your health and the procedure goes smoothly and doesn't delay anything for you. I guess I shouldn't waste my time feeling jealous. Everyone has a different situation.
@sillysapling I'm sorry about the job situation. I hope things are looking up in that area soon and that the toddler gets past whatever is happening.

I hear you on the everyone else is pregnant thing. It's hard. Several people I know who had babies around the same time I did are now pregnant with their second. Including the Duchess of Cambridge and the lesbian couple on NBC, Stephanie Gosk and Jenna Wolfe!

Question-What are you all doing for the holidays?



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#619 of 621 Old 12-23-2014, 08:16 PM
 
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@sillysapling I'm sorry about the job situation. I hope things are looking up in that area soon and that the toddler gets past whatever is happening.
Thanks, I hope so, too. What's going on with kiddo is seeming more and more likely to be autism (or something along those lines), but we have an evaluation with Early Intervention so hopefully we can get the help we've been needing since he was, well, born. We're hoping to get to a place where we at least feel competent and things aren't so bad for kiddo, but there are probably always going to be some extra challenges. We need a way better handle on things before we bring a newborn into the mix, though.

I'm going to try the job search in more earnest in the New Year. I'm in retail and the last month has been freaking awful because of that, so I haven't had as much time. I just... I feel like I don't know how to find a job that pays a living wage, so a lot of the job searching kind of feels like a lot of wasted effort. I get a lot of conflicting information from the resources out there. It all seems to be summed up in "You just get lucky".

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Question-What are you all doing for the holidays?
Reviving. @_@

I've got the next two days off, so we're going to do presents tomorrow and are planning on taking it nice and slow so hopefully kiddo won't get too worked up and upset over it. My mom is coming up Christmas night and leaving on Sunday (she works in an agency that doesn't have Christmas off, so it's the best she could do). Dad is going to be coming up for some of next week, I can't remember how much. I'm not really sure how everyone in my family ended up with a job that typically means working on the holidays, but there you go. I think it's just becoming more common now. I'm not actually bothered by it- the exact calendar day isn't very important to me, but I know it's sad for people who aren't able to coordinate time off with their loved ones.


this is just a moment in time, step aside and let it happen
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#620 of 621 Old Today, 03:33 PM
 
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@mamadance84 I hope everything is ok with your health and the procedure goes smoothly and doesn't delay anything for you. I guess I shouldn't waste my time feeling jealous. Everyone has a different situation.

@sillysapling I'm sorry about the job situation. I hope things are looking up in that area soon and that the toddler gets past whatever is happening.

I hear you on the everyone else is pregnant thing. It's hard. Several people I know who had babies around the same time I did are now pregnant with their second. Including the Duchess of Cambridge and the lesbian couple on NBC, Stephanie Gosk and Jenna Wolfe!

Question-What are you all doing for the holidays?
Thanks @pokeyac -- The procedure was super uncomfortable. For the first time in my life, I considered not wanting to give birth naturally. The doc was literally tearing my vagina apart. Sorry to be graphic.

We had a nice Christmas. We celebrated Hanukkah with my husbands family in mid December. We went to my grandmother's house for an epic italian Christmas Eve and then had a quiet Christmas Day at home with our pup. That evening we served dinner at the local shelter for the first time. It was really sweet and everyone was very grateful. It felt really good to give back to our local community.

Today, we went into NYC and saw the Radio City Christmas Spectacular! My grandma got us tickets because we've never been able to afford it. It was amazing! I love Christmas so much!

Best of all, we decided today that (pending my test results this Friday) we may be able to start trying sooner than we thought! Hopefully in the next month or two!

kristi, 30 years old. married to eric 8.17.13.  looking forward to being a mama.
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If you decide natural birth isn't for you, that's fine, but I wanted to point out that a doctor doing a procedure is not the same as giving birth naturally. You might want to look into perineal massage, though. It's something I wish I'd been more strict about.


this is just a moment in time, step aside and let it happen
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