Wanting But Waiting 2014 - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

Wanting But Waiting 2014

katydid09's Avatar katydid09
08:04 PM Liked: 23
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01-30-2014 | Posts: 135
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3lilchunklins I can't remember, are you planning another and just waiting or are you trying not to want?

Andthestars good luck with getting your husband on board for having another.

Writermama that is awesome!

I started a new home workout program and so far it is kicking my trash, I hope it gets easier or I start seeing results soon otherwise I'm not sure how I'm going to stick with it.
3lilchunklins's Avatar 3lilchunklins
08:35 PM Liked: 7449
#62 of 553
01-30-2014 | Posts: 1,622
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I initially was wanting to TTC in September but then I go back and forth wanting now, wanting to wait, and not wanting at all. Its insanity!!!!
SevenFromHeaven's Avatar SevenFromHeaven
06:03 AM Liked: 19
#63 of 553
01-31-2014 | Posts: 41
Joined: Dec 2013

Hello girls!  How is everyone doing?  It's been a bit manic around here, with our youngest turning 4 yesterday and various work bits and bobs!  The big news is that we have decided to just let it happen.  So we're not actively TTC but we're not preventing it either.  Of course, this may mean nothing as at my last appointment I was told I probably wouldn't be able to get pregnant without IVF and donor eggs due to my low AMH levels and the perimenopause, but we'll see.  If it's meant to happen I'm sure it will.  We've decided if it hasn't happened by about September time then we'll look into some extra testing to see exactly what's going on...  But for now we're just taking it easy and enjoying ourselves without pressure!

3lilchunklins's Avatar 3lilchunklins
08:44 AM Liked: 7449
#64 of 553
01-31-2014 | Posts: 1,622
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Well I think that's worthy of a congrats!!! Sending sticky fertile thoughts your way ;- D
Yaliina's Avatar Yaliina
12:32 AM Liked: 92
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02-01-2014 | Posts: 673
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Wow, a lot of us waiting (or potentially waiting?) for the summer to TTC. Might be a full ddc for March-ish. I've been completely bogged down with school work the last two weeks- both mine and the kids', and it looks like I really missed out on some action on this board. Congrats to Seven for the relaxing news, and to the ladies whose plans are still a "go", even if it's a bit sad when AF visits. And good on ya, Katy, for getting into a workout routine. I am still saying "we really need to start getting to the gym" about every other night at dinner, but I haven't done anything about it yet.  

I am going to check out some of the links you all posted a few weeks ago (when I get a few minutes), as I think more about healthy habits I need to start. 3LilChunklins, that's a good idea about a cleanse. I am not nursing (LO weaned at 2), so I might look into that, and pair it with some changed eating habits. DH & I were looking at the 5:2 diet, where you fast for 2 days, and eat normally for the other 5. I think that sounds more doable for the long-run, but I haven't had time to read the book yet to see how I'd have to modify it for pregnancy. 


I am thankful for my IUD, because I can't really be tempted to ttc earlier than our plan, even if I really want to. It'll require a special appointment at a doctor's office first, and I'm good at procrastinating. ;-)  I've been looking at strollers in my "spare" time before bed.


OK, well, my LO just got out of bed, so I'd better sign off and take him down to mine.  Ciao!

AndtheStars's Avatar AndtheStars
10:25 AM Liked: 184
#66 of 553
02-02-2014 | Posts: 635
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I second the congrats to Seven about the decision to just see what happens.  There is so much relief is having a direction even if you don't know where it will lead.  Not having to worry/time intercourse makes it better too ;)


writermama, your DH does sound dreamy....:wink  I bet you feel like a fertility goddess.  I'm a little bit jealous.


3lil, do you mind if I shorten your name?  Tell me now or I will run with it.  Fair warning.  I too am feeling so ambivalent.  It does feel slightly insane to go back and forth between wanting a baby NOW to thinking that's it's crazy to even consider another child.  I just want to make a decision, have DH make a decision and go with it.  It would be the most helpful if the decisions that DH and I are the same one.


Yaliina, I keep thinking that now is the time to get myself healthier too.  This time of year is always when I'm at my heaviest and blah-est.  Once spring comes and I can get outside in the garden, I'll feel better.  It's been 0-10 degrees for two weeks now here in PA and I'm ready for warmer weather.  Even the 30's sounds good at this point.


katy, keep going with the 'trash' kicking!  You can do it!

katydid09's Avatar katydid09
02:36 PM Liked: 23
#67 of 553
02-02-2014 | Posts: 135
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Thanks for the encouragement, I ended up working out 5 days this last week, a new record for me.

Andthestars, that cold sounds miserable, I hope it warms up a little soon.

Besides dropping weight/getting healthy, does anyone have any big goals, vacations, projects, activities, etc. that they want to do before they start ttc?
3lilchunklins's Avatar 3lilchunklins
03:03 PM Liked: 7449
#68 of 553
02-02-2014 | Posts: 1,622
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Andthestars - yes it totally fine if you shorten my name! I agree that just feeling like you've decided whether or not to have another is a wonderful feeling of relief. Like you can allow yourself to want more because some day you will have another. But if your not, then you can hopefully stop longing for another, and play these cruel games on your heart.
writermama12's Avatar writermama12 (TS)
05:28 PM Liked: 198
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02-02-2014 | Posts: 714
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Katy, Big projects? For me, I am going to try my hardest to finish writing a YA novel before the next baby (if there is one). I have written 2 chapters so far and I am serious about doing it, dedicating 6 hours a week to writing only the novel, so yeah, it is one reason that I am trying to reign in my "fertility horses" that want to run free.

Seven, I am happy you have a plan that feels right for you! That's great.

 And thestars, hahaha! fertitlity goddess, yes that about sounds right :) but a little scary too. I am now confronted with the opposite issue I thought I'd have. DH wasn't really on board (or only half-heartedly) for some time. I thought my major issue would be having to convince him over a long period of time. But now I'm feeling a little nervous about having to contend with my baby-making hormones that would want me to keep getting pregnant every other year until menopause! I need to really figure out how I feel about it. Right now, one more feels good. I think that will be a god size for our family. But if it isn't a girl, I know I will want another.


Yaliina, I fast many mornings during the week. The 5:2 sounds interesting too. There are so many healthful fast strategies and I think what I've gleaned is that just changing it up on your body, making it stay on its toes and adapt to both famine times and food abundance is what is best biologically, keeps the organs and cells strong. I'd love to follow your progress with it. Keep us updated!


AFM, I am working a lot and it is keeping my mind off of TTC or WBW. But I just got my first shipment of OPKs from wondfo. And I am interested in figuring it all out, so I've been POAS on OPKs the past few mornings. it is funny how much I hope I see two lines and that I have to remind myself over and over that it is NOT a Pg test!! Funny that I always hold my breath,hopeful.

SnowDrifter's Avatar SnowDrifter
08:23 AM Liked: 0
#70 of 553
02-03-2014 | Posts: 9
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Long time lurker. Just made a profile.

If no one minds I'll join the waiting crowd. We have tentative plans to try for our first end of this year beginning of next. With a few factors waiting to be ironed out.

I'm trying not to push for him to be ready a little sooner. But it's hard.
Mama2ChicknLil's Avatar Mama2ChicknLil
08:35 AM Liked: 92
#71 of 553
02-03-2014 | Posts: 426
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So now I'm the one having a hard time waiting!! I was pretty set on June to start ttc, and I had good reasons! I wanted my 2.5 year old to get to at least 3 years nursing (I'm terrified that a pregnancy would cause him to wean), I could save more money homebirths are expensive!), and I could get through this year's travels without having to worry about constant nausea, And I had missed my moontime and would like to have a few more cycles before we head back into barren land! But I'm finding it hard to wait! I want to be pregnant yesterday, and husband feels the same... any thoughts? Suggestions? How do I turn off the baby fever, or should I?
3lilchunklins's Avatar 3lilchunklins
09:04 AM Liked: 7449
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02-03-2014 | Posts: 1,622
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I really don't have anything remotely helpful to say lol. What did you mean by moontime?? I'm sorry, I've just never heard that term before
writermama12's Avatar writermama12 (TS)
10:51 AM Liked: 198
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02-03-2014 | Posts: 714
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Mama2, Those are great, rational reasons...if it were me, I'd think about how I might feel after getting pregnant. Will you regret not waiting the few extra months for any one of these reasons? Hormones and emotions are powerful forces, and it can feel soooo satisfying to give into them, but I'd weigh that momentary bliss against your goals. I am trying really hard to do this right now. I absolutely have goals like finishing writing a book, bfing ds3 until he is at least 18 mo (I will probably lose my milk during pg), and I keep reminding myself of those things almost on a daily basis. Once I am not in that fertile week during my cycle, though, it gets infinitely easier to AVOID TTC early. I'm just not as obsessed.

katydid09's Avatar katydid09
10:59 AM Liked: 23
#74 of 553
02-03-2014 | Posts: 135
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Writermama, I think that it is so cool you are writing a book. When I was in high school that is what I wanted to do, before I knew how difficult it can be. Now I'm content with reading the hard work of others smile.gif

Snowdrifter, I don't know if you can ever be truly ready for kids, I've always taken the "ready or not, here they come" approach smile.gif it's probably not the best way to plan a family but it has worked for me. Hopefully you can get on the same page soon.

Mama2chicknlil, I'm not much help either.
SnowDrifter's Avatar SnowDrifter
12:49 PM Liked: 0
#75 of 553
02-03-2014 | Posts: 9
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Katy, we are waiting for two reasons. Well it's sort of the same reason for both of us. Work. I just started this job, which is looking good to be a career, last sept and I'd like to be here at least a year. To sort of secure the position you know.
And we just found out the place my husband has worked at for 5 years is shutting down end of March. So he's on the job hunt.
My work will pay all the bills, just barely, so he really needs to work. Thankfully he's had several interviews in the past month so keeping my fingers crossed.

Katy, how long are you planning to wait before your next baby?
katydid09's Avatar katydid09
03:46 PM Liked: 23
#76 of 553
02-03-2014 | Posts: 135
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Snowdrifter, I just reread my last post and I don't think it came across like I ment it to, sorry about that. I was trying to refer to the mental aspect of being ready. Sounds like you have a good plan. It is so stressful when your spouse (or your self) have to find a new job, hopefully one of those interviews works out. If you don't mind me asking, what kind of work do you do?

AFM I don't know when we will be trying again. My two are 19 months apart, ideally we would start trying in May or June for a similar gap. Only problem is I am exclusively nursing my 5 month old and have no idea when AF will return.
SnowDrifter's Avatar SnowDrifter
04:22 PM Liked: 0
#77 of 553
02-03-2014 | Posts: 9
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Gah, no that was me. I'm sorry if I came across snippy. Darn you internet and the inability to communicate tone.
I don't think I'll every be mentally ready. I babysit my best friends 6 year old fairly regularly and I have no idea how she does it every day.

I'm in pharmacy. I work for a hemophilia specialty care company. It's somewhere between a mail order pharmacy and a home care clinic with a dash of office thrown in. I really like it. It's a fairly flexible job so I think I'd still be ok to work during and after a baby.

I don't really know much about how long it takes things to return to normal after a baby. If things were even normal in the beginning. Lol.
I know my monthlies have never been that predictable. It's been worse with the iud.
Er, sorry if it's tmi. I'm an over-sharer.
writermama12's Avatar writermama12 (TS)
06:15 PM Liked: 198
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02-03-2014 | Posts: 714
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Being a woman is crazy business. After I gave all that good advice (that I fully believed 100%) I started longing again. But it's probably because I am due to O any day now. I am trying out my OPKs and it is confusing. they are all like different shades of negative for the past four days. I think this is normal, but I am afraid of missing the surge so I keep POAS to try to catch it...and since I am paying attention to my O time, I am also thinking about the egg that will surely follow. Hmm. Plotting. Rationalizing. hahaha.

katydid09's Avatar katydid09
07:35 PM Liked: 23
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02-03-2014 | Posts: 135
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Haha, I agree, it's so hard to communicate tone in writing, especially with people you have never met.

You never know what can happen in pregnancy it's great you will have some flexibility with your work.

I wouldn't worry about sharing too much, I don't know about anyone else, but I don't care smile.gif I've read some interesting things about people on boards like these!

So I was thinking about starting to track my basal body temperature, how much sleep do I need to get in order to get an accurate reading?
SnowDrifter's Avatar SnowDrifter
06:32 AM Liked: 0
#80 of 553
02-04-2014 | Posts: 9
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Well it's nice to know I'm not the only one who's waiting. Though I may be the only one waiting on the first.

All of my friends who want kids have one, or are into two or three. I feel like I'm lagging behind.

Writermama what kind of novel are you working on? What genre, I mean?
Mama2ChicknLil's Avatar Mama2ChicknLil
08:05 AM Liked: 92
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02-04-2014 | Posts: 426
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Ugh, it's tough!! 3LilChunklins moontime is menses, it's what that time is referred to by goddess traditions because it connects women to the cycles of the moon.

Thanks for the advice Writermama, you're right, it is a difficult temptation to ignore, I'm just taking it day by day!
3lilchunklins's Avatar 3lilchunklins
09:23 AM Liked: 7449
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Ohh ok that makes sense.

Katy - you need at least 3 hours straight of sleep to get an accurate temp. around the same time each day
writermama12's Avatar writermama12 (TS)
11:13 AM Liked: 198
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Snow, I am writing a young adult novel, which is my first go at this genre but I review and analyze it for a living so I feel really moved to write one. I am making it more literarily based than just slush though.


Mama2CL, So interesting you mention moontime. I just came across this awesome summary of what it is on the Empowered Sustenance blog I follow. I would have ignored it but remembered you mentioning it in your post, so I read it and I am fascinated! How long have you been doing this? What have you noticed? Has it effected your cycle? Your life?

SnowDrifter's Avatar SnowDrifter
01:27 PM Liked: 0
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Writermama, if you don't mind me asking what kind of technique do you use for writing. Do you do the plotting method or let things go more organically and prune as needed?
I'm a big reader and I always like to hear how books get written. :-)

I think someone mentioned goals before having a baby? I'd like to get all my carpets pulled up and hardwood put in. Plus cleaning out the spare room and making it guest/child friendly.
Along with losing weigh, being more health and so on.

December is feeling a long way off. I've had the baby crazies since we put a month on it. I've never been good at waiting.
3lilchunklins's Avatar 3lilchunklins
02:07 PM Liked: 7449
#85 of 553
02-04-2014 | Posts: 1,622
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Well I think I'm following in Seven's foot steps... DH and I feel like the Lord is leading us in a "don't try, don't prevent" way of life. Truly walking by faith and not sight. Whatever happens, happens!
Tax returns will be going into building an addition onto our house this year!
BirthIsAwesome's Avatar BirthIsAwesome
03:23 PM Liked: 22
#86 of 553
02-04-2014 | Posts: 527
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After using NFP to postpone conceiving for 2 years, we're gearing up to TTC in June! I'm really excited! My moontime is due in two days, and then we'll only have 4 more cycles of TTA. I want to order a folate supplement sometime this month so I can start it 3 months before we start trying. Goals that I have before June are to complete some specific chunks of school work, move to the next phase in my apprenticeship, get into a better household routine, and spend less time on the internet. So happy and excited to join a group of ladies who are waiting to TTC :)

Mama2ChicknLil's Avatar Mama2ChicknLil
04:43 PM Liked: 92
#87 of 553
02-04-2014 | Posts: 426
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Writermama a lot of why I started following a Paleo lifestyle was to help my body get to a more primal place. Cutting out the refined foods, spending time in nature, and getting good sleep all factor in.
As for the sleep lighting, we have a completely dark room, and use a soft night light on the day before, day of, and day after the full moon. About a month after we instituted the night lighting (after a year of a pitch black bedroom), I had my first postpartum cycle ( ovulatory, at 28 months postpartum, while still BF a million times a day and night). Who knows if that made the difference?

This month got away from me and I forgot about the night lighting around the full moon, and charting doesn't show any clear signs of ovulation, and it's CD31,

who knows? Definitely not going to forget the lighting this month!
AndtheStars's Avatar AndtheStars
07:56 PM Liked: 184
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02-04-2014 | Posts: 635
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Whew!  I'm going to have to be diligent if I want to keep up with you gals!


Mama2, I never heard moontime either but my cycle was always synched up to the moon.  I would ovulate on the full moon fairly regularly and both my boys were born within a few days of a full moon.  I would only admit it to you all but my cycle is NOT synched up with the full moon anymore and that makes me feel weird.  I feel like I won't be able to TTC until it's the same as it was when I conceived my first two.  Does that sound totally wacky?  I'm o'ing about a week before the full moon.  My cycle length has been pretty regular since AF came back last summer at 31 days with O on day 20 ish.  I'm thinking if my pattern holds, I'll get back to o'ing with the full moon in about 6 months or so.  When I type this out, it sounds crazier than when I think it in my head.


And not having milk when I get pregnant is a very real concern for me too.  My 20 month old still relies pretty heavily on the breast for nutrition.  I lost my milk at 9 weeks with the last pregnancy and my older son weaned quickly after that.  It makes me sad to think about my big nursling losing the milk :(

katydid09's Avatar katydid09
09:26 AM Liked: 23
#89 of 553
02-05-2014 | Posts: 135
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That is kind of cool about AF cycling with the moon. I've never paid attention before but I think I will once AF returns. I do remember growing up that my cycles matched closely with my mom and several sisters, anyone know why? All I know is that it happens when women live in close proximity to each other.

I rememberd why I'm glad I can't have another baby just yet. My youngest kept me up most of the night and I've had a headache since about 3 this morning. It's going to be a long day.
writermama12's Avatar writermama12 (TS)
11:38 AM Liked: 198
#90 of 553
02-06-2014 | Posts: 714
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Thinking about you 3lilchunklins. How goes the 2ww? Are you getting close to AF, yet?


I feel like I am officially the worst TTAer EVER!! I just can't do it. I finally caught on to the OPKs and caught a surge in LH. Yay! Then I told DH and that made him excited (a little too excited)...and I gave in. So so willingly gave in. SO, I guess despite all of my awesome plans, we are now not TTA until better time. I guess it is good to know thyself, or whatever, and just accept that while we are fertile, we are irresponsible and just let our hormones run the show. Sheesh.


Let me tell you though that I am in admiration of those who wait as long as they see practical. I've been getting inspiration from you all, but it just doesn't stand up to my hunky hubby. What can I say?

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