Baby #2 - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 4 Old 08-11-2014, 03:31 PM - Thread Starter
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Baby #2

I've been having really strong feelings about wanting to have another child. But my fiance, the father of our first does not want to have another one. After I had our daughter, I thought I never would want to have another one, I had really bad ppd. A couple months ago I had a miscarriage, and I didn't even know I was pregnant. It was so far early in the pregnancy that I just didn't know. Which is good because I would have been such a mess, puting that mildly. But now my heart is swollen with emotion and desire to have another baby. I'm having a very hard time accepting his decision. I asked him to give it some thought.. We're waiting to get married until 2016, I told him I feel like if he doesn't want one now maybe then we could try once were married. I don't want to wait until our daughter is 6-7 years old. I want our children to be close in age. We've talked with other couples about having children closer in age and spaced apart, from their answers it would be best for us to have them closer together. Don't get me wrong either way I'd be happy and I know having kids isn't what's best for us. Any advice on accepting his decision.. I'm having a very difficult time with it. I don't want to resentful towards him or keep pressing the issue.
tattooedmommato1 is offline  
#2 of 4 Old 08-12-2014, 11:39 AM
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That is a really big difference of opinion. It is unlikely either one of you will change your mind. You need to really do some soul searching right now, and decide if you CAN only have one kid, or if down the road, it will be too much to bear.

If my husband had said no more after one, to be honest, I probably would divorce him. I love him, but it is extremely important to me to have several children
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#3 of 4 Old 08-12-2014, 11:53 AM
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I don't know if it is something that you have to accept. You guys should seriously talk about it and try to see if you can work something out. Perhaps there could be a compromise of having just one more then calling it done. My husband said we were done having children after two and I grew to start seriously resenting him. Then one day he realized that it wasn't a fair decision and we are great parents who strive to raise great people and another baby was something he could give to me and our family. So after a three year discussion we are pregnant with our third and last baby. It was very hard to get here, but here we are and both of us couldn't be happier with our decision. Our daughter will be almost eight and our son will be just over five when this baby is born, but I am okay with that. I think sometimes men just need a little more time in between babies. For my husband it was a fear factor; he was afraid of something happening to our baby, being the only provider, the more kids you have the more likely it is to lose one.... he is a worry wort, but has overcome his fears and is looking forward to another. Open communication and understanding on both ends goes a long way. Good Luck mama!

Breezy married to my sweetie pie David With two beautiful children that love each other very much and a bun in the oven due Nov. 5th, 2014

Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight.

-Benjamin Franklin

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#4 of 4 Old 08-12-2014, 02:40 PM - Thread Starter
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Thanks ladies, I honestly thought about dtswife but I'm thinking he might just need time to think about it. About two yes worth which is extremely frustrating not knowing. He asked me why I keep pressing the issue. He just understand..
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