Considerations/Planning for Baby #2 - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 09-23-2014, 09:41 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Considerations/Planning for Baby #2

Our son is almost 15 months and we would like to have one more child. I am 39 1/2 so I feel like we have no time to waste. My wife says we need to really talk about having a second child because even though we both want one she doesn't see how we can afford it. I think things will work out like they did the first time. Between getting pregnant and having the baby, we both increased our income and we are able to afford the things we need including childcare which is very expensive where we live. I have an opportunity to increase my income again and I think that will make a big difference. Plus, by the time we have a second baby, our son may be old enough for preschool and that would save us some money.

My questions for you are-When you were considering adding baby number 2, what kind of things did you think about? What changes did you make to your lives, financially or otherwise? Did you move to a bigger home? Did you plan out a budget first to see if it would work? Just hoping you can guide me in the right direction so I am considering all the things I need to consider. Thanks!



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#2 of 6 Old 09-23-2014, 02:48 PM
 
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Our DD was 15 months old when we started TTC. We were pregnant 2 months later. It happened a little faster than I thought it would, but we were thrilled.
We didn't spend a lot of time thinking about much other than our ages (I'm 36 & DH is 38) and didn't want to waste a lot of time as it took us 3 yrs of TTC for our first, so I totally understand where you are coming from with the "no time to waste".
As far as other points you ask about, we just figured it would work out. 2 is definitely more work, but it's totally worth it. I've actually cut back with my work (2 days per week) so it eliminates some of our need for daycare (both go at least 2 days per week). We did start his 529 plan, which is really the only direct expense we've incurred so far as we put $ in for both kids each month. Otherwise we've got everything left over from DD. Hope this helps and best of luck!
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#3 of 6 Old 09-23-2014, 02:50 PM
 
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And we live in the same house...the kids will eventually share a room.
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#4 of 6 Old 09-24-2014, 01:44 PM
 
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DS is nearly 11 months old right now. I'll be 35 in a couple of months so age is on my mind a little, but just a little. Part of me wants us to go ahead and start trying, but if it's anything like the first time we'll be pregnant the first month we start and I'm not sure I'm ready yet. I've heard that waiting until about 18 months postpartum is good because it gives your body time to recover and regain the nutrients you gave up for the first baby, but that seems like so stinkin far from now. We don't have some of the financial aspects to consider that you do, pokeyac, because I work from home and DH works part-time and stays home while I work (but it didn't always used to be that way). Mainly, I worry about my sanity and sheer ability to handle two small children at once. I already can barely keep house sorta kinda with just one (my issue, not anyone else's). I'm afraid I'd get overwhelmed and shut down and never get ANYTHING done.
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#5 of 6 Old 09-24-2014, 02:47 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you for your input! I guess part of what I forgot to consider up above is that we live in a 2-bedroom apartment that is about 700 square feet. Luckily, we have a garage. We've always made it work but it's getting more crowded with having baby stuff now. I'm not sure how 2 babies would fit for long. We have talked about moving back East where it's cheaper but that's not something I feel like I want to do in the next 2 years. I like my job and don't want to leave but I also want my children to grow up closer to their grandparents, and I would love to own a home which we can't afford to do here.



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#6 of 6 Old 09-24-2014, 03:12 PM
 
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Yes that is a tiny space for a family! Our home is "cozy" too, but still nearly double the size of yours!
We too have considered moving back east as well (where both sets of grandparents are) in the coming years to save $$ on housing. But not sure if we want to give everything else up too (good jobs/schedules, lots of sunshine, activities we like, etc). Tough decisions for sure. Best wishes!
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