How many years should I wait? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 16 Old 09-15-2016, 03:39 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Lightbulb How many years should I wait?

Hi everyone!

I have a 2 years old boy and Im planning to have another baby soon, but I dont know how soon haha.. I want to keep enjoying my kid before another baby arrives home. How many time between kids do you recommend?

Thanks!
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#2 of 16 Old 09-24-2016, 12:48 PM
 
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This is one of those questions that has no "right" or "wrong" answers. I know I originally wanted all of my babies back to back to back to back. Well that didn't happen for various reasons (medical and other).

My older two children have 3 years (less a month) between them and it is the most perfect space ever (for me). I had one on one time with the oldest, then they got some shared time and the 3 year old was able to help and also do things for herself. Then when she went to school I was able to get full one on one with my second.

My third is 6 years and 9 years younger than her sisters. Again it was a large gap for a variety of reasons and I have gotten so much one on on time with her but she also adores her sisters.

We're trying for #4 and that will make another 3 year+/- a few months gap and I'm looking forward to it again.

3 years for me was truly the best gap.

However so many people enjoy both larger and smaller gaps. I don't think there is *the* perfect one. Just whatever time is best for your family!
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#3 of 16 Old 09-24-2016, 02:10 PM
 
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That depends on you and your family.

I think health-wise, there is something to be said about healthy child spacing. Birthing and nursing take a lot of nutrients from your body and you want to make sure you are built back up before having another. In less "developed" cultures, spacing is usually 3-4 years in between.
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#4 of 16 Old 09-24-2016, 04:50 PM
 
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We have 4.5 year spacing and really like it. The older one got so much wonderful alone time with me, and now I get to spend just as many long, slow years with the little one while the older is at school. ODD was old enough to really understand her sister's developmental limitations. Now that the little one is a toddler, my 6.5 year old can have a great time playing with her, but she almost acts as a bit of mother figure and is a huge help around the house.

I will add that ODD was an extremely difficult baby and that really affected my experience. It took a looooong time for me to entertain the idea of having an infant again.
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#5 of 16 Old 09-26-2016, 09:00 PM
 
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My oldest two are 22 months apart and they are 4 and 6 years older than the 3rd. The just under 2 yr gap was hard on me. We have NO family support or help so it was extremely difficult to deal with alone. I feel like I didn't truly enjoy either of my kids for a while there. The larger gap before the third was nice and there were some benefits but I think it was a bit long. I think 3 years is about perfect for me anyways.
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#6 of 16 Old 11-03-2016, 11:47 PM
 
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I think 3 years gap is enough between 2 babies.
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#7 of 16 Old 11-04-2016, 11:12 AM
 
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There was a study done that gathered data from 1966 to 2006 about pregnancy. Some of the results of the study found that at least 18 months between pregnancies (not children's ages) and less than five years between pregnancies had the most favorable outcomes for mothers and children; less chance of miscarriage, pre-e, low birth weight, premature birth, the list goes on. I think I found out about it on the blog alpha parent but the study is sited all over the internet.

Personally I have a hard time waiting longer than 19 months between pregnancies because I am so baby crazy. But if I could hold off I would wait until my youngest is 2-2.5 before having another (pregnancy, so my youngest is 2.75-3.25 years at the birth of the next LO). They are just more capable and need you a little less but still young enough to accept a sibling as normal and not a huge game changer.
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#8 of 16 Old 11-04-2016, 12:04 PM
 
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If I had to plan my family over again, I would put six years between each child. That way, a parent could enjoy and give all their attention to one child until that child went off to school OR was independent enough to do some school work/home learning.

That would also give the parent time to save $ for school/college/car.

That is just my opinion though. One would have to consider their own age when the family is started. If one's first child is born when one is 30 years old, one may not want to wait so many years.

Clearly, this is an individual choice with many factors to consider.

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#9 of 16 Old 12-09-2016, 10:07 AM
 
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My kids are 7, 3, and 1. The first two have a 3 year 9 month gap, then my second two have a 2 year 3 month gap. To me the older two are a little too far apart--they almost but can't quite play as peers, but there's not enough distance either for them to have more of a caregiver/kid dynamic. The younger two have a nice dynamic now but it was hard for us to have two very little ones (both in diapers) at the beginning. Based on my experience, if I were planning and fertility, finances, help, etc. cooperated I would aim for a 2.5-3 year gap between kids.

However, sometimes life has other plans! I had originally hoped for a 2.5 year gap between my oldest, but fertility didn't cooperate. Then #3 was an unexpected blessing. Neither fertility nor contraception is a 100% sure thing. But life works out.
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#10 of 16 Old 04-05-2017, 10:44 PM
 
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Wait for atleast 10-12 months.
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#11 of 16 Old 05-08-2017, 02:25 AM
 
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The best for me is about 15 months!


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#12 of 16 Old 05-09-2017, 10:48 AM
 
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Better a gap of about five years. It is necessary that the older child grows up.
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#13 of 16 Old 05-25-2017, 08:22 AM
 
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2 to 5 years gap for me but it's your choice
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#14 of 16 Old 09-11-2017, 08:48 PM
 
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Based on my own experience when I was still young, it is quite annoying to have younger and older siblings whose age are closer to me. I think we have an average gap of 3 years. We used to compete over small things.Hahaha! But when we became an adult, I realized that it is a good choice made by my mom and dad to have us a closer age gap. My sister and I love to go shopping together, travel together and explore together. If our age gap is far apart, we cannot enjoy the moment as both ladies.
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#15 of 16 Old 09-11-2017, 11:52 PM
 
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In my view 3 years is the right time to plan for new baby.
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#16 of 16 Old 09-13-2017, 06:31 PM
 
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It is better to have 3 to 5 years gap. So that, it will be easier for you to care them one by one.
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