Gender Selection, would you do it? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 18 Old 08-12-2004, 03:00 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Last night I watched a 60 minute segment on gender selection. Basically it is IVF, but they take a tiny cell from the embryo to tell the sex. If it is the desirable sex, it is implanted. There is over 99% chance of getting the gender you want. Would you do it? Do you think it is immoral? Do you think that it is 'playing god'? Would you support someone close to you, who did it?
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#2 of 18 Old 08-12-2004, 03:03 PM
 
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i saw that and was pissed off... some ppl are jus not happy with what they get.. i think if u start messing with nature for vain purposes it will come back to bite u in the bum eventually... to each their own though...

personally i wont do it... i would jus be thankful to have an opportunity to have a healthy child... gender means nothing.. altho i would like a boy.. i wouldnt ever go through with that procedure to guarantee myself a boy.. that procedure was designed to help parents with genetic diseases have a healthy baby... and im soo glad that couple got their healthy triplets after losing their son...

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#3 of 18 Old 08-12-2004, 03:04 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am planning to have this procedure around the time that I am 30. I will need to better my credit in order to get a personal loan, this procedure costs around $18,000. I had a tubal ligation, so I would need to do IVF anyways, and I really would love a little girl to go with my 3 perfect boys.
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#4 of 18 Old 08-12-2004, 03:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tricia80
i saw that and was pissed off... some ppl are jus not happy with what they get.. i think if u start messing with nature for vain purposes it will come back to bite u in the bum eventually... to each their own though...

i would never do it... that procedure was designed to help parents with genetic diseases have a healthy baby... and im soo glad that couple got their healthy triplets after losing their son...
How is using modern technology to get the son or daughter that you want, vanity?
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#5 of 18 Old 08-12-2004, 03:08 PM
 
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i reedited my post so it could come across more clearly... i hope it worked...

i have to take dd to the dentist but i shall be back...

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#6 of 18 Old 08-12-2004, 03:12 PM
 
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I wouldn't do it, I think it's wrong. And I don't know what I'd think/say/do if someone close to me were doing it. I think there are enough orphans and foster children in the world that gender selection should be done that way - adopt the sex you want. I was glad to see that that couple got healthy triplets after their first son died, though.

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#7 of 18 Old 08-12-2004, 03:12 PM
 
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I think things like the shettles method is ok if it's not too serious ie "we'd like a girl, but won't be disappointed if it's a boy.". I don't agree with aborting b/c of the sex or playing with technology to choose the sex. I think that opens up a really dangerous way of thinking about and valuing one sex over the other. I think that the women's and human rights movements have come too far (positively), and to start taking steps like that would be a HUGE step backwards.
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#8 of 18 Old 08-12-2004, 03:13 PM
 
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Originally Posted by rachdoll
I think there are enough orphans and foster children in the world that gender selection should be done that way - adopt the sex you want.

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#9 of 18 Old 08-12-2004, 03:19 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MPJJJ
Would you do it?
No.

Quote:
Do you think it is immoral?
Unsure.

Quote:
Do you think that it is 'playing god'?
Yep.

Quote:
Would you support someone close to you, who did it?
I'm sure I would.


Is it worth going into debt for? Not to me.

Is having a daughter that much more meaningful than another son? I can't answer that for you, and I have both, but I would never value one sex over another.

What is the message your sons will get? Mom and Dad underwent serious medical procedures and took on a great debt to have a girl? These are the issues I would struggle with.
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#10 of 18 Old 08-12-2004, 03:25 PM - Thread Starter
 
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As an adopted child, I would not adopt a child unless I had no other choice, just from my own experiance as an adopted child. This new procedure is a wonderful thing, it is not cloning, after all.
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#11 of 18 Old 08-12-2004, 03:26 PM
 
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As my ds would say "you git what ya git so don't thow a fit" lol

Seriously though. I would never choose my babies gender. I totally agree about adopting if it's that important to someone. I think that we have to be real careful in this day and age, to really think about what our choices today will turn into down the road.
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#12 of 18 Old 08-12-2004, 03:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Well, I look at it is, most people take on that much debt to get a second car. I'm sure that they would understand why I would take on that much debt to give them a sister to share in their lives.
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#13 of 18 Old 08-12-2004, 03:36 PM
 
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No, I wouldn't do it. Yes it is playing god. I don't think that I could be supportive of someone who would do it. I wanted a girl very badly, but I would have been very happy if my baby was a healthy boy. I wish people were more focussed on being a parent than on what sex their baby was going to be. I also have to worry about how a procedure such as that has the ability to mess up nature's way of evening out the sexes in the population. My opinion is that sciences needs to stop messing with nature!
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#14 of 18 Old 08-12-2004, 03:37 PM
 
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We adopted, and in a sense we did gender selection that way. My kids are from China, where sex-selective abortion is a huge issue and it's one I've thought about a great deal.

In most situations I would not do it with birth children. I can see it in the case of sex-linked genetic defects, and I would do it in that case.

For just preferring one gender over another, no, I would not do it. For me, I think I would feel it was "playing God." Funny that I wouldn't see it that way in the case of the genetic defects, but I don't. In that situation it seems to me like an appropriate application of God-given technology. In the case of selection for personal preference it seem to me like an abuse of that technology. Please don't anybody try to point out flaws in my logic because I'm leaving myself but it's honestly how I feel.

I do think it's a personal choice, like much application of technology. For example, I think cosmetic surgery for reasons of vanity is sickening. But if other people want to do that to their bodies, it's not my decision to make.

I don't know what the last question, "Would you support someone close to you, who did it?" really means. If somebody wants to spend this much money on something like that, I guess I think that's their decision to make. Would I spend time commiserating with them about it? No, I wouldn't, and I wouldn't loan them money to do it.
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#15 of 18 Old 08-12-2004, 03:47 PM
 
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That seems very wrong to me. I mean, what is next...make 99% sure that she has blond hair, blue eyes, and will be 5'4".
How dull it would be if everything always went the way we planned it, yk?
Why do we feel the need to make our children live up to OUR standards? Why can't we just love them for who they are - be it boy, girl, blond, physically challanged, genius, fat, black, white, red, blue, purple with green polka dots..... They are you child! Love them for THAT reason, not inspite of what they COULD be.
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#16 of 18 Old 08-12-2004, 05:25 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JillyKay
That seems very wrong to me. I mean, what is next...make 99% sure that she has blond hair, blue eyes, and will be 5'4".
How dull it would be if everything always went the way we planned it, yk?
Why do we feel the need to make our children live up to OUR standards? Why can't we just love them for who they are - be it boy, girl, blond, physically challanged, genius, fat, black, white, red, blue, purple with green polka dots..... They are you child! Love them for THAT reason, not inspite of what they COULD be.
I Agree

Ok im back... and found out the thread had been moved...

i agree with PP's... i dont see the point in gender selecting..and yes i do think in a sense its vain.. yet another modern convinence to mess with the plans of the universe... why cant people jus be happy that they have loving healthy children regardless of sex...

i still say that we keep messing with nature and its gonna come bite us in the butt...

and there is a movie about this that was done a few years back.. where the guy is normal birth and came out with problems like needing glasses and has a younger brother who they got to get rid of the bad things and choose everthing.. but the guy leaves his family and takes on the identity of a person who is supposed to be "perfect" but ends up in a car accident.. and lives his life and gets a job etc...anyone remember the movie??? i want to rent it now.. i loved it.. kinda sci-fi'sh


hopefully this post makes sense as dd keep interrupting little ole me so i can see change her babies clothes for the 1000th time today... :LOL

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#17 of 18 Old 08-12-2004, 07:40 PM
 
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I am not personally ok with it, but then again I have been blessed with children of both genders. I don't know how I would feel if I got all of one gender.

I would respect someone else that did it, it's their money, their child, their body, not my place to judge.

As for playing god, if it ever becomes affordable enough to become commonplace you bet it is and I would be very against it happening often because we could end up with a very one sided gender race and then where would we get more babies??

And since it's only 99% what about that one couple that is the 1% and they plan for one gender and only want that one gender and what happens then??

I know someone that wanted this done, she had 2 boys wanted a girl but when she found out how much it cost she didn't want it done. She got a 3rd boy and was fine with him! But if she had the money she would have gotten a girl, and her family would be so different.
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#18 of 18 Old 08-12-2004, 08:04 PM
 
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For me, it's a mixed bag. My daughter was born using IVF with preimplantation genetic diagnosis for gender since we can't identify the gene involved in my disorder. I tried microsort several times first (sperm separation using dye, the x's are larger and glow more more brightly) Without couples electing gender selection, I doubt this technology would have been as available to me as it was and at a remotely achievable price. Now it turns out that girls have a 10% chance of the disorder...before they thought it was 0%..so I probably won't use it again. But lots of people have much more serious diseases and really need this technology. Quasi-free market economy for medical technology causes some strange things.

Before elective PGD was offered in the US it was happening in a few other countries and people were traveling there to do it. And people from a number of european countries were traveling to the US for microsort. That was 3 years ago, so I don't know what's happening now.

After hanging out with a lot of women trying for a gender with everything from wishful thinking or prayer through IVF, I do worry about the expectations people have for gender selected children. But I also worry about people that in a prior era would have just had more and more children that might not have particularly wanted or were able to afford in the long term, in an effort to get the "other" kind. As for adoption, i was trying - in fact we were offered children right after my IVF, what timing! It it had come earlier I never would have done it - but there's no gender guarantees in adoption either. And for people like me, although we were planning a transracial adoption - neither of those elements are for everyone, whether they have a genetic condition or a gender preference. And it's best not to do it if you can't totally embrace adoption.

But I don't feel like I was playing god. I was trying to have a living child. And after our stillbirth I was trying to do in whatever way would work for us most quickly.
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