NATURAL Family Planning - Mothering Forums

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Old 01-03-2005, 02:31 AM - Thread Starter
 
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When i first saw this thread i was so excited to find like minded mommas but i was quickly dissappionted to find all the talk about birth control. i am trying to find other women who use natural family planning. i have been reading some talk about charting so i am holding out hope that i am not alone. by natural family planning i mean no use of birth control whatsoever.

i read so many talk about their difficulties with birth control and i worry for those women. NFP is so wonderful and it has brought so much joy to our marriage. i have learned so much about my body and its like a honeymoon every month because of the abstence during fertile times. i feel like we are dating again.

if anyone wants info about NFP there are tons of great books The art of Natural family planning by Kippley put out by the couple to couple to league is awesome.

Angela: Catholic Homeschooling Mom to Sierra(11/00), twins Addison & Kendall(3/03), Jack(4/06), Brielle (7/08), Levi (2/2011); due with#7 (9/13). Birthed every witch way.....hospital. C section. VbAC. Unassisted water birth (hypno/painless). Assisted waterbirth to an almost 10lber! (Not painless!)
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Old 01-03-2005, 03:32 AM
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THere are actually a LOT of women who chart to avoid. Go check out the TTA thread. Most of the women here also use charting at some poitn to get pregnant as well...

Some choose to use bc during their fertile times and some use none at all.

Pretty diverse crowd here, different things work for different people.

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Old 01-03-2005, 03:57 AM - Thread Starter
 
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thanks i will check that out.

Angela: Catholic Homeschooling Mom to Sierra(11/00), twins Addison & Kendall(3/03), Jack(4/06), Brielle (7/08), Levi (2/2011); due with#7 (9/13). Birthed every witch way.....hospital. C section. VbAC. Unassisted water birth (hypno/painless). Assisted waterbirth to an almost 10lber! (Not painless!)
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Old 01-04-2005, 01:57 AM
 
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dh and I use NFP only and no other birth control. We love the freedom that not viewing our fertility as something to be withheld from the other can bring.

Mostly we do this for religious reasons regarding the sanctity of marriage and our bodies but also because on a natural level it just makes sense.

Happy to find another NFP only mom out there! Sometimes I think I'm the only one!
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Old 01-04-2005, 02:00 AM
 
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We use NFP (well, um...we're planning on using NFP... :LOL ). We took the course required by the Catholic church during marriage prep...but only used it the month we were married (I had the rubella vax 2 months before) and then stopped to get pregnant...and then used it for another two months after AF started again following childbirth, then stopped to get pregnant. After this baby, we'll be using it again.

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Old 01-04-2005, 06:32 PM
 
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Stayathomemommy,

I felt the same joy you did when I discovered the FP thread, and my joy turned to disappointment as I read so many pro-accounts of IUDs, but as Adina pointed out, there remain a wide array of opinions out there. Perhaps we could create a sub thread, that focused just on Natural family planning? That might clear up the confusion.

Personally, we have been using NFP for over 4 years to postpone pregnancy before using the method to try to conceive. It had worked beautifully for both scenarios. Of course, it took a few cycles to build confidence in the method, but when I poured over the research (of which there is plenty if one is interested), my inner overachiever was calmed.

The benefits to my marriage have been profound, too. The biggest compliment I can give the NFP method is that my girlfriends from college, a diverse, wacky bunch, are beginning to practice NFP now that they have seen "a real person use it"! Neighbors, when they discover we teach the method, often express thoughts like, "Oh, I always wondered what that stuff was about" or, "So, it really does work?". I usually just laugh and tell them I wish I had the media campaign-fashion magazine influence to show the NFP can be as sexy as wearing a patch on my hip bone. wink

It's difficult to break out of the mainstream; I spent years paddling along like everyone else. I remember my own misgivings when my then fiance approached me and said he thought we should look into NFP. My committment to natural family living continues as I consider the benefits of natural childbirth, cloth diapers, and attachment parenting. "Natural" family planning has definitely been the right choice for my family.
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Old 01-14-2005, 06:33 PM
 
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I'm aware of NFP, but we don't do anything to tta, unless you count bfing. Just wanted to say I'm here! I was also surprised at first to see all of the artificial bc methods in the family planning on a natural living site. Not that I have anything against them, I was just expecting something different.

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Old 01-14-2005, 06:41 PM
 
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It shocked me as well how many bc methods NFL families are using. I have been looing into NFP for a while. However, I do sometimes also use condoms, without spermacide. I do not believe in anything that is chemically altering or can cause what I believe to be an abortion.

However, I am having sereve marital problems. So, right now this is not an issue. I want to learn more though.

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Old 01-14-2005, 06:45 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stayathomemommy
When i first saw this thread i was so excited to find like minded mommas but i was quickly dissappionted to find all the talk about birth control. i am trying to find other women who use natural family planning. i have been reading some talk about charting so i am holding out hope that i am not alone. by natural family planning i mean no use of birth control whatsoever.
If you are charting TTA, isn't that birth control?

If you are using no birth control at all, isn't that quiverfull?

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Old 01-14-2005, 06:47 PM
 
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What is a quiverful????

Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

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Old 01-14-2005, 06:47 PM
 
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What is TTA?

Sorry I am slow today...

Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

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Old 01-14-2005, 07:05 PM
 
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TTA = trying to avoid, the opposite of TTC (trying to concieve)
Quiverfull is the term some people embrace to describe using no birth control at all, based on a religious view. It's taken from a bible verse about having a quiver full of arrows, quiver being the name of the arrow holder.
I guess I was just pointing out there is a continuum here, from those who use pharmaceuticals, to those who use NFP (natural family planning) to concieve, to those who use NFP all the time, avoiding and conceiving, to those who use no method except natural child spacing (ie, breastfeeding on demand).

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Old 01-21-2005, 04:19 AM
 
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We are an NFP-only family too (and Catholic). Recently, I was able to switch to a Family Practice doctor that is NFP-only too. That has been great, not having to explain at every office visit "No, I don't use any kind of artificial or hormonal birth control" and knowing that my daughters won't be advised in the years to come to go on the pill "just in case." (Sorry kind of a run-on sentence there.)

Yeah, as for the NFL families that use ABC and don't think twice about it, well, it just shows you how hard it is to give up something which has been taken for granted for several decades now. It's where the Natural Living philosophy comes smack up against the progressive zero-population-growth philosophy and this feeling that we are somehow hurting the earth by having more than one or two kids. I find that the Natural Living folks I get along with best are those that are embracing of life (and "open to life") whether or not they have a Christian viewpoint.

As for "quiverfull" I would say it is a Protestant Christian term and those who adhere to it (in my experience, having been a Protestant "quiverfull" person myself a while back) would reject both ABC (artificial birth control) as well as NFP (natural family planning) other than that which occurs naturally while breastfeeding. Certainly, that is not the case for all Quiverfull families. I am sure some do pay attention to the physical signs of fertility, but when I was reading QF lists it was never a subject of discussion. There are some QF people who feel it is their duty to have as many children as possible, whether because it is a path to holiness, or to atone for the abortions of others or just because it is what they feel called to, it varies. This would not be a typical characteristic of NFP'ers who pay attention to signs of fertility.

My children are aged 7, 5 and 19 months and we have been ABC-free for over four years now (coincides with my becoming Catholic, didja notice that?).

LeeAnn

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Old 01-21-2005, 04:36 AM
 
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Aha! I love this thread! I have ordered The Art of NFP from amazon and it is shipping-should be here tomorrow or the next day! Can I use this book alone, or should I sign up for one of the classes offered through the church ( I am Catholic, as you have probably guessed)? It seemed more geared toward Catholics than TCOYF, although they both seemed informative. Any opinions?

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DD2
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Old 01-21-2005, 05:11 AM
 
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: I feel odd discussing this topic : LOL

Catholic here, not quiverfull, not ABC, not TTC or TTA either

We do ecological bf; ahem, we DID until my dd weaned at 28m....
And I use cycle beads just to have a general idea of "what's up", so to speak.
I have the NFP book that was mentioned, IMO it's exhaustive and is currently collecting dust on my shelf :LOL I guess you could say we're laid-back, lazy and natural--??? JMTC

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Old 01-21-2005, 05:14 AM
 
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Oh, sorry, to answer your Q: Yeah, I'd definitely sign up for the Church class if you want to be more strict about NFP--they are taught by couples who personally use NFP so they can really help you understand things and "troubleshoot" if your cycle is weird/hard to understand etc.

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Old 01-21-2005, 05:36 AM
 
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Krystal, actually, I am right where you are too. I'm not trying to conceive or avoid, just trying, I guess.... My youngest is 19 months and I've just gotten to that point where I feel like if I got pregnant again I'd be quietly pleased rather than inwardly panicked. I'd still like a bit more time to lose some weight (like a year!) but I'm not charting or anything to avoid. What are these beads that you use? I just go by my cm signs cause it's fairly obvious to me.
LeeAnn

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Old 01-21-2005, 05:38 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sugarplumama
Aha! I love this thread! I have ordered The Art of NFP from amazon and it is shipping-should be here tomorrow or the next day! Can I use this book alone, or should I sign up for one of the classes offered through the church ( I am Catholic, as you have probably guessed)? It seemed more geared toward Catholics than TCOYF, although they both seemed informative. Any opinions?
I would definitely sign up for a class if you can. It is a lot of information and if you truly need to practice NFP stringently to avoid conception then I think it would be a lifesaver to get an expert's help.

I have both books you mention and Weschler's book is the first one I owned. It's a good start, but definitely not as exhaustive as Kippley's, plus of course she advocates using condoms on fertile days.

LeeAnn

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Old 01-22-2005, 01:44 AM
 
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They're this ring of colored beads, you can get them at www.cyclebeads.com I think, for like $13. The ring starts w/a red bead (1st day of period), then has brown and white beads plus one dark brown one, to stand for days of your cycle. The white beads are days on which you are likely to conceive, the brown beads are all days you're VERY unlikely to conceive, and the one dark brown one is to help you see how long your cycles are. They need to be fairly regular (between 26-32 days) most months in order to accurately "predict" your fertile days, but supposedly they're like 99% reliable....?? Anyhow, for 13 bucks, they work for me

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Old 02-01-2005, 06:48 PM
 
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Personally I think NFP is awesome- but different variations work for different couples- here's my perspective- I used to swear by the Pill until I started having health problems and depression that all went away when I stopped taking it. So I decided to go the NFP route...

But...we also use condoms during the fertile time because for me- my sex drive is at its peak during my fertile time and I really crave that closeness with my man- I feel like I would be repressing the beauty of that urge to be with him. I know that abstinence would not improve our relationship but hinder it- we tried doing NFP without condoms and abstaining and it did hurt our relationship as we felt like we had to repress our feelings for each other during the fertile time which drove both of us crazy- we figure there ain't anything wrong with a little love all month long. It allows us to be open and feel the natural urges we have for each other when ever they happen to come.

That said- NFP with condoms has still definately helped our relationship as a whole- he is aware of my cycles and my body more than ever and we are able to share in the responsibility of birth control since I chart but we talk about when I am fertile and he needs to have condoms on hand.

Different things work for different couples and NFP can mean different things to different couples- some, like myself, would say it isn't very natural to deny yourself when your body is designed to want sex the most. Just a different perspective.

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Old 02-03-2005, 03:59 PM
 
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Hi all,

I have enjoyed this thread immensely. While the motivations for using one method of family planning over another and our level of committment to any of them varies immensely, I think our conversations will be enriched if we agree on the same definitions for family planning. I am not pointing any fingers, rather I am trying to clarify what has become a murky definition:

NFP - Natural Family Planning: charting one's fertility signs through oberservations of cervical fluid and may include basal temperature and cervical position observations; promotes *abstinence* during the fertile times to postone pregnancy (discourages any artifical methods including creams, jellies, barriers, hormones, IUDs, etc); immediately reversible.

FAM - Fertility Awareness Method: charting one's fertility signs through oberservations of cervical fluid and may include basal temperature and cervical position observations; promotes *artificial birth control use* during fertile times to postone pregnancy; immediately reversible.

Thanks! palmetto
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Old 02-12-2005, 03:49 PM
 
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I had the same thoughts as you! Isn't this a NATURAL board. Oh, well...

Anyway, if you want to talk with like-minded people about NFP, there's a great board on Delphi: http://forums.delphiforums.com/nfptalk/start.
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Old 02-12-2005, 04:41 PM
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Welcome ztagrl! You will notice that the forum title is "Family Planning". We welcome all types of planning, from artificial birth control to NFP to quiverfull. Everyone has a different path with their fertility.

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Old 02-17-2005, 08:55 PM
 
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I just want to chime in and say that I practice FAM, and I don't think that it *promotes* the use of artificial birth control as a means of preventing pregnancy. I think it's clearly stated in TCOYF that you can *choose* to use ABC during your fertile times, or that you can take a risk, or that you can abstain. It's all about choices. I choose to not use condoms or jellies or surgical birth control and its a choice *I* make - not because a book told me to do it this way.
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Old 02-22-2005, 02:28 PM
 
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I have never used any articial birth control, it just seemed not right. I go to a protestant church and it bothers me so much that they use bc and comments about 'so many children' . I love that the Catholic church hasn't changed their position on this even though I am sure they have had so much pressure to change it. For me I would hope that God gives me more time before I am pregnant again just because of how much a young one needs me and nursing and I have a real hard time doing tandem. So the main reason I would not want to be pregnant is all the endless comments and looks, it's just so depressing. Here you have this life in you and is supposed to be joy and everyone around you feeling sorry for you and making 'comments'. Just at church on Sunday someone said they heard I was pg again and was like they hope I wasn't. I try to let people know why we don't use anything and they look at you like you are nuts and how it's ok to use bc. I feel like God as perfectly planned our family according to His plans. Just wish others in my church could see that for us and that God could do that for them too.

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I'm getting sick of this world, I may need to live on a commune some where! I miss nursing!!!
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Old 02-23-2005, 02:17 PM
 
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Another NFPer here. We do it for religious reasons (we are Ebionites, not Catholics, but we admire the Catholic church's social teachings greatly) and also, as mentioned by a PP, because it just seemed natural. There are just too many risks and negative consequences to using ABC (have any of you actually read the insert in an ABC pill box? Scary!)
I wanted to mention, for those of you who have a Palm PDA, that there is an excellent NFP program available for free download at http://www.geocities.com/palmNFP/

This is the program i use to keep track of everything, and it is really a Godsend. I highly recommend it. I would even venture so far as to say it is worth purchasing a PalmOne Zire 31 just for this program!!!

Nice to know there are other NFPers here at MDC, let's get a subforum going!
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Old 02-23-2005, 04:34 PM
 
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Zipporah, for sharing the nfp pda link. It looks great, I can't wait to try it out.

Kim Ann

Mama to 5 boys, 1 girl, and 2 dogs!
I'm getting sick of this world, I may need to live on a commune some where! I miss nursing!!!
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