Originally Posted by GiraffeLovin'Mama
We are on the fence, both dh and I. I was sure I was done, then I just had the surrogacy pregnancy. I'll be 3 wks pp tomorrow and am still on the fence. The end was miserable for me, but my peri thinks it had to do with the surrogacy part, not so much being pregnant.
Anyhow, I guess we'll soon find out (that is if our oops doesn't have me pregnant already )
just curious. and nosey.
I posted above, and I am now a few months into my midwifery program. And it's just as bad as I thought, only I'm really busy so it's reinforcing the fact that it would be unsensible.
Also, no one really replied last time about large spaces between children... family dynamics, etc.
Thanks, much love and light.
Anyhow, that's so great that you're in a midwifery program! And you are fulfilling your dreams and enriching yourself! Right now I really wish I was in your position. Afew months ago when I was "jonesing" for a baby it was just a hormonal (monthly) kind of thing and I really did have wonderful pregnancies and births so I was thinking how awesome it would be to have another. However, DH and I realized that 2 kids was really perfect for us and I soon became excited about the possibility of getting some of my goals back on target and was looking forward to doing some things for me (like, going back to school for either nurse practitioner or midwifery, or just going back into a different area of nursing (I'm an RN). Anyhow, to make a long story short.... I'm pregnant.
It's really hard adjusting to this news that at one point I would have been super happy about. This baby will be 21mths apart from my DD and I'm going to really have my hands full. I'm sure in the end I'll be thrilled with this little bundle but the grass always "seems" greener on the other side of the fence.
I guess I was just writing to tell you - there's a reason you really want to be a midwife and you need to follow that road - you have a wonderful family so take this opportunity to focus a bit on yourself! Hope this is all coming across as super supportive!
Originally Posted by newmainer
Sooooo.... I guess we need to wait, but man! Do I want another baby!
Yeah, I want another babe already and my DS is only 3 mos!
a mama to DS and DD
Mike is going back and forth on the issues of having more after this. He says that what he hears from people with "more than a few" kids is reassuring to him, and that right now he's leaning towards yes. And of course, if he doesn't get snipped, we'll end up doing NFP again to space pregnancies, because ecological breastfeeding and even tandem nursing don't work for us.
As to long-term spaces between children and family dynamics-- every family is different. I think that spacing can have some effect on the relationships between children, but that their personalities will come into play more and more as those children get older. Some kids will be fine with a new sibling at 19 months and others won't be able to handle it until they're older. Unfortunately, there's no way to know until you actually have the next baby which sort your kids will be.
I was going to go to midwifery school this fall but for reasons called family (and a young one at that) I decided to wait on my dream - but then this puts me on a different schedule with family-planning as I am waiting to go back to school until we are finished and our kiddlets are a bit bigger (enough to wave bye when I leave rather than scream in sadness)...
I love being pregnant and have relatively easy pg's but my DH has a hard time with having little ones (life gets much more enclosed then, at least in our household) and it is stretching to be sure - so we planned to wait until this next June 2006 to try but I am dying...
I get to apprenctice right now with a midwife friend and that is a great joy and rare opportunity so I am trying to be content to fill this small part of my life while I wait to get pg... but she will be moving at some point and is the only person I trust to do my birth - so I am a little nervous that I may miss her going-away-time. Trusting is the key I guess... but darned NFP just works so well that no "oops" will happen, I am sure of it. Good right??
Hopefully my sister will fall pg soon and I can live vicariously through her...
Mama to 4 amazing little people, another little expected 3/6/12!
Avid Unassisted Birth supporter/Mama
So.... count me in for "jonesing for another, but need to wait"
My family: me , dh , ds (11), dd1 (9), and dd2 (3).
Tout va s'arranger à la fin. Si elle ne fonctionne pas; ce n'est pas la fin.
I have totally got baby fever
Mama to Noah- 05, Eden - 07, Isabella -09 and Cade -11
Another reason is money, I know you can never wait on money to have kids or you'll never have them, but see now I've got this CD habit and I'm not even done with dd's stash yet! Just isn't a good time for me, but I want one so bad I can taste it!
There are currently *6* people at work who are pregnant. DS is 21 months and I am REALLY ready to be pregnant. However, (1) we have no money right now, (2) I need to lose some weight, (3) I don't want to spend my last trimester suffering in the GA heat, and (4) DH and I are working hard on strengthening our relationship and we'd like some more time for that before another child. These are all rational reasons to wait but my heart just doesn't understand
Our plan is to TTC in February, when DS will turn 2, assuming we are more financially secure, I'm in good enough shape, and DH and I agree that we are ready for another. I'm not on any birth control and we are using only fertility awareness and the pull-n-pray technique
At any rate, I'm : this thread!
I was literally just about to start a post related to this when I found this....
lovin DH since 1/04, best mom for my 3 boys 10/04, 11/08, 11/10 one girlie (1/07), one 13 wk (10/13) and 5/15 just your average multigenerational living family!!
My dd is almost 9 months and my dh and I would looooooove another! Which is funny since I had a rough pregnancy, a c/s, and ppd and have spent the last year saying "dd is gonna be an only child"! And now I'm thinking three little ones sounds about right...or maybe a few more.
We're waiting till dd is at least a year though so that I can maximize my chances of a vbac, so that dd gets at least a year of breast milk (I'm planning on nursing through pregnancy, but I've learned that plans don't always work out and if I have another pregnancy like my first one there's just no way I'd be able to nurse!), and so that my grad student dh will be a little closer to finishing his PhD and getting a job (I'm the primary wage earner and financially things are so tight they squeak).
My best friend had her baby a few days ago and hearing her brand new little voice over the phone has me even more convinced that I want/need more babies in my life! Now if only babies came with a complete set of diapers, a few furnishings, a large cash bonus, and a steady job for the dp we'd be trying tomorrow. As it is, we're gonna start trying in April and hope for a "not too big in the summer" pregnancy.
I'm so glad this thread is here...it's hard to be baby-mad but waiting!
My partner was really resistant about having a third, and we weren't doing so hot together. Well, things have really changed for us and fallen into place, and just a few days ago he agreed that we can TTC in October of next year!!!
That is only 9 cycles away for me -- holy crap! I have some concerns about having another baby, mostly financial and work-related. I am also heavier and more out of shape that before (like, what mother isn't?!?) and I want to work on that. I get a lot of aches and pains in pregnancy and want to lost 10 pounds (though I have much more to lose than that) and get fitter at the gym.
As a midwife I have had to think it through because I don't qualify for maternity leave (self-employed) and we cannot live without the income without going far into debt. My plan is to take a few months off totally, and then go back to work taking only a half caseload and have other midwivs cover my backups (where I work there are two midwives at each birth, the primary and the backup). I will bring my baby to clinic and home visits, and my dp will look after the baby (take a day off work) while I am at a births. It helps that I have a milk supply that could feed triplets (quite literally) so pumping EBM would be easy for me for those two births a month.
I had two babies as a midwifery student so I know what being on call with little nurslings is like, and feel I can manage. I will be upfront with any potential clients that they will be seeing a lot of my baby to make sure they are ok with that.
So now I just have to live with waiting. I gave away most of my baby things, so I have to start trolling my friends and family for hand-me-downs (several babies around me, luckily).
I am so pleased because I didn't think dp would ever come around to the idea of another baby. We even shared the news with friends who were TTC (a partner midwife) so it felt REAL!!!! I feel like we have a plan now and am looking forward to baby #3 July 2007 (so FAR away -- and by the grace of s/he above, of course).
Well, I guess that means Ayla and the next one will be about the same age gap as your two youngest. How do you feel about this difference, it weighs heavily on me sometimes. Definitely pros and cons (for me, anyway).
One small decision that came with deciding to have another baby (but by no means the main reason) is that we would like to bank our baby's cord blood. My son has a genetic disorder (neurofibromatosis) and stem cell therapy is looking the most promising of any current line of research. It is a shot in the dark to bank the cord blood, but hey, it's only money and money is to be used for needs and hopes.
We were originally planning on TTC 12/05 because I wanted a 9/06 baby. Now 12/05 has came and went and my AF is screwing with me. I know I'm not pregnant though, but I am sadly holding on to the very miniscule chance. Pathetic, huh?
I've decided to go back to school. I will start this summer. And it will be impossible to have a 9/06 baby. But I know I need to have get pregnant soon, so the baby will be older when I need to go to school during the day. I'm crossing my fingers that DH will decide to TTC in March-April. He's happy with just one though, so it will take some begging.
So I'm in the bath wanting to read the leaflet that came with it. Dp comes by and I ask him to hand it to me.
"A leaflet. Now hand it to me. Please"
"What's the leaflet for?"
"A thermometer. Now please hand it to me"
"What kind of thermometer is it?"
"A thermometer thermometer. You know, the kind to take your temperature"
"AN OVULATION THERMOMETER, isn't it? You BOUGHT an ovulation thermometer. Now I am mad at you"
"Mad at me," I say, "why for?"
"Cuz now you're going to get knocked up the first month we try. It's not natural. I want my three months of practicing!" And walks away with the leaflet.
I yelled at him to come back and just give it to me already. He refuses, saying he doesn't want me that prepared, and: "I'm just not that enthusiastic about this stuff yet", he says.
I ask him to please just hand me the damn leaflet, and shut the door as the bathroom is getting drafty. He whips the leaflet at the floor and walks away. I leave well enough alone.
This morning I ask him about the ovulation thermometer deal again, and he says, "I just want my 3 months worth of practicing!" I told him that waiting to get pregnant is murder. He rolls his eyes and tells me to try not to be so "intense" about getting pregnant. We smooch. Then we talk about the possible colours of the baby's eyes. He's trying so hard to endure my intensity on this issue, but man, he handles himself strange...
I started spotting today: a week before my period was due and 8 days post ovulation. Oops....
The best laid plans, huh? Excuse the double entendre.
Dp is not thrilled.
Not sure what to wish for: a baby or a period.