fighting baby lust? - Mothering Forums
Family Planning > fighting baby lust?
meowee's Avatar meowee 01:04 AM 07-09-2005
Is there anyone here who is fighting or knows they will soon be fighting baby lust?

I just want to make myself WAIT. I am not telling myself "never again." But I have a real problem with baby lust. I desire to have a baby so strongly, even after having 4 (almost 5), that it doesn't seem normal.

Is it normal? Am I the only one with these very VERY strong desires to keep conceiving?

I've had health problems... I know I should wait a good long time after this baby before even thinking about conceiving. But I am very afraid that as soon as AF returns after weaning that I will start feeling that very very very strong desire to TTC.

help!!!

Jenne's Avatar Jenne 01:11 AM 07-09-2005
No babies here (yet :LOL) but am definitely in the FULL on THROWS of baby lust...not even trying too hard to fight it anymore as this began more than a year ago. Sigh. I have child lust actually...I peruse the state adoption links and daydream about having an 8 y.o., 12 y.o. whatever! Does that just make me lusty :LOL Sorry, I have to laugh or I might cry. Sigh. What is the old lust adage...delay gratification to increase overall satisfaction??? RIGHT.

So what do you do to both pass the time worthwhile-wise and lust-wise?

Jenne
meowee's Avatar meowee 03:41 PM 07-09-2005
So far I haven't been very good at passing the time otherwise..!! It is such a strong desire!
amyjeans's Avatar amyjeans 03:52 PM 07-09-2005
Oh my ... we need to start a tribe for this!
Probably everyone here would be on it!!!!!lol
I am a certified full-on "deep in the heart of baby lust" junky. It makes me flippin crazy when I get my period and every month I am checking for 2 lines.
My dh thinks I am nuts, and I agree!
I am so much happier when I am pregnant- better endorphines running through me, and not to mention the whole UC thing!
gotta gotta gotta do it again

I need another baby!
tappahannock's Avatar tappahannock 11:54 PM 07-09-2005
This post kind of spoke to me too.... I just had my first baby 3 months ago and he is wonderful. But.... I can't stop thinking about getting pregnant again either! I have been thinking that it's just withdrawal from being pregnant, and it will go away. But I really miss the whole state of being pregnant... When I was pregnant I just felt like I didn't have to care about little picky things, and there was that wonderful state of anticipation, and... it's a magical time, really. Also I really love my midwife and I really miss getting to see her all the time. I miss being part of creating! I was really really nauseous for about 27 weeks while pregnant too, which makes it even more weird.
I don't actually WANT to get pregnant right now, it's more that I can't wait for next time. But reading this post made me think; what if I never get over this feeling and always want to be pregnant? My mother's mother had 8 babies and for the first time ever I can see where she was coming from!
meowee's Avatar meowee 07:26 PM 07-10-2005
I wish I could get to the bottom of it too... is it normal to want to be constantly pregnant? Or does it represent a problem? I do feel filled with hope when I am pregnant, even though I don't really enjoy it physicially. I feel more hopeful and rich, spiritually. I wish I could feel like this when not pregnant.
amyjeans's Avatar amyjeans 10:11 AM 07-11-2005
Quote:
Originally Posted by meowee
I wish I could get to the bottom of it too... is it normal to want to be constantly pregnant? Or does it represent a problem? I do feel filled with hope when I am pregnant, even though I don't really enjoy it physicially. I feel more hopeful and rich, spiritually. I wish I could feel like this when not pregnant.
( my bold)
I totally agree Meowee!!!!
tappahannock's Avatar tappahannock 11:37 PM 07-11-2005
Yes, I agree too, Meowee. Pregnancy is a special time, and an escape from your normal everyday life. My struggle is that I had gotten pretty discouraged about the state of the world we are living in, and being pregnant definitely gave me a new hope. It was as though I HAD to find hope, in order to carry that baby through the 9 months and give birth to him. I did a lot of meditating and praying, and this message came to me: "I am supposed to be here." I got the message: I am supposed to be here. The baby is supposed to be here. We are supposed to be here, in this time and place, however flawed this time and place may be, for a reason. It was really nice , while pregnant, to feel like things were out of my control, but I was living for a purpose, and all I had to do was let it happen. Now my purpose is taking care of that wonderful baby. I know that mothers often feel so fulfilled when they have this purpose here (rearing their children), and then so empty when their little nestlings are gone! This is the hard thing about finding out way in this life; sometimes our purpose is not very clear. And all of the people and stages of life that we love are always changing. It does make it hard to get your bearings.
KalamazooMom's Avatar KalamazooMom 01:42 PM 07-12-2005
Yup, me tooo. We have 2 joyful, loving, healthy children, but I can't stop thinking about having one more. My DH is definitely done. And intellectually I think our family is complete, but I find myself thinking so much about getting pg again and having another one. We waited until I was 36 to have #1 so I know how lucky we were to get pregnant so easily and have healthy pregnancies and healthy births. I know it would be pusihng it to try for a third. Not to mention the fact that I feel like it's such a struggle to find the time to spend with the two that we have, having a third would stretch us even more thinly. I sometimes wonder if it's still the hormones of pregnancy and lactation or something that contribute to this feelng?
MotherWhimsey's Avatar MotherWhimsey 03:44 PM 07-12-2005
I have a 15 mo. old who is still nursing about twelve or more times a day, haven't even gotten a period yet, but have a raging baby lust. Mine doesn't make any sense, cause I know we can't have one for at least a year and a half, I don't think I could deal with two (my first is about three handfuls [but she's wonderful]) at least not yet, and I HATE being pregnant. My pregnancy with dd went totally smooth, didn't even have morning sickness or anything, but I just can't stand 40 weeks of waiting. It just kills me. But I'm always reading the TTC boards and dreaming about getting pregnant. I'm so wierd. I'm fighting it by "preparing" for a year. Meaning I'm getting in shape, improving my diet, etc... I don't know how well it's working, but at least I feel like I'm doing something at least a little related to TTC.
Mother Whimsey
ladybugs984's Avatar ladybugs984 05:02 PM 07-14-2005
Yes very very much. I've got such baby lust right now. I got it really really bad when my son was a year old, way before i got my first PPAF. we're still waiting though I want my children to be aroudn 3 years apart and if we get pregnant next month they'll be 2 1/2 years apart but hubby isn't convinced that we're financially/emotionally ready for another one. it doens't stop me from wanting another though.

i am a part time nanny and i get to watch a precious 3 month old little girl. I get my baby fix there but i come home and i just want one of my own

It used to be just wanting to be pregnant again, i loved beign pregnant and still long for it, but now i "graduated" to wanting another child. I love seeing how my son interacts with the little girl. He *needs* a sister

*sigh* it gets better and then it gets worse. right now it isn't so bad but i have some really hard times. I'm sort of glad that my periods are far off, because its heart breaking to get them when i want a baby so bad
katybear mama's Avatar katybear mama 12:26 AM 07-16-2005
Yeah, I've got it, alot of the time. But being that I'm a single (divorced), working and student mama (dd is 7) and that BF of 3 years and I just broke up, it's pretty safe to say I'm out of luck and this would be an impossible time anyway. I'm just afraid that when the right time comes I'll be too old.
MoonJelly's Avatar MoonJelly 01:00 AM 07-16-2005
Quote:
Originally Posted by tappahannock
Pregnancy is a special time, and an escape from your normal everyday life. My struggle is that I had gotten pretty discouraged about the state of the world we are living in, and being pregnant definitely gave me a new hope. It was as though I HAD to find hope, in order to carry that baby through the 9 months and give birth to him. I did a lot of meditating and praying, and this message came to me: "I am supposed to be here." I got the message: I am supposed to be here. The baby is supposed to be here. We are supposed to be here, in this time and place, however flawed this time and place may be, for a reason. It was really nice , while pregnant, to feel like things were out of my control, but I was living for a purpose, and all I had to do was let it happen. Now my purpose is taking care of that wonderful baby.
:

That is exactly how I felt! Thanks for putting it into words!
tappahannock's Avatar tappahannock 07:46 PM 07-19-2005
Yes, putting it into words has helped me get through the postpartum time gently. I'm glad that someone else out there can relate.
AugustineM's Avatar AugustineM 10:12 PM 07-26-2005
I wish I could get to the bottom of it too... is it normal to want to be constantly pregnant? Or does it represent a problem?

Meowee -- I think it is common to want to be pregnant. I think most women dream of it before they have kids, and then many (though probably not most) want to keep having children after they've had 2 or 3. I'm starting to get baby lust again... though it isn't really strong. But I start thinking things like "It wouldn't be so bad if I got pregnant now..."

However, part of your original post reminded me of something I read recently, I think it was either in Penelope Leach or Dr. Sears. They said that many women so intensely love the pregnancy/nursing relationship, they come to be "addicted" to it in a way, and once their current child is no longer nursing, they feel the need to fill that void. I wish I coudl remember the actual source of this. Anyway, I thought you might find that interesting, and if I remember right, they did use the word "addiction" which I though was a powerful word, and perhaps not quite true... but what would I know, I've only had one child so far.

If it is something that troubles you you might consider talking to someone about it.... a midwife, doula, etc. That's probably what I would do.
kyle98sean02's Avatar kyle98sean02 10:55 PM 07-26-2005
I do too! My baby is 3 and its lietally killing me that I am not pregnant again. I swear everyone else is but me and I cant stand it. I am an obsessively addicted to the TTC threads and I am a POAS aholic. I want to nurse again, be up all night again, cd again. It started to get strong when my ds weaned and got even worse when he potty trained
eilonwy's Avatar eilonwy 01:05 AM 07-28-2005
Me too. And I'm tandem nursing! We are planning to have four (not to get pregnant for at least six months) but I feel like I'm missing something spiritual by not releasing control of my fertility. It's so difficult to explain, but I think about just having babies until I can't anymore all the freaking time.
BusyBeeMom's Avatar BusyBeeMom 10:55 AM 07-28-2005
Oh, yes, yes, I am. I SO want another. DB is 6.5 months. DH is saying she's going to be an only child. I'm really sad about that. I am hopeful that I'll get him to agree to two, at least. I'd love four.

So, yes, lusting and sad about DH's attitude here!
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