I wish I would have found this thread back when it started. I had a thread in TAO about the issues DH and I were having about having another child.
We have 4 and I want another
DH is an only child and thought that was great and grew up thinking he would have ONE child. Well, when we got married I already had the two boys from my previous marriage so he came into an instant family. He is an incredible step-dad and is very close to the boys. Not too long after we got married my baby lust kicked in high gear. He was not ready. I waited, encouraged, and waited and on our first anniversary he agreed he was ready and we got pg THAT night
DD#1 was 7.5 months old when I was shocked to find out I was pg
I wasn't sure how he would react and was nervous but he was so excited from the moment I told him. We had two great homebirths with the girls (I am one of those straightforward birthers
So now here we are, our youngest is about to turn 2 and months ago I started feeling this huge void. For me it has been a feeling that it is supposed to happen. I know part of it is my faith and spirituality. Just a few months ago DH was saying he was going to get a vasectomy. He knew I was not ok with it but I wasn't sure I could prevent it. In our 7+ years of being together DH has NEVER used P&P and thinks men that do are stupid. He says "You either want a baby or you don't and P&P is just a cop out" He is Mr. Responsible, he uses a condom every single time.
I have had periods and ovulatioins come and go and been quite weepy about the whole thing
The good news for me is that DH has always been willing to talk with me about the way I feel and the way he feels. It was just so hard for us that we were not on the same page. Our marriage is very strong and we really do agree about everything that is important but this one thing. It has been hard for me but it has been hard for him too because he didn't feel he could make me happy
Well, last week we were actually talking on the phone. He told me he wants to want another, he just can't wrap his brain around the idea of FIVE kids! He starts asking me questions about carseats, bedrooms, beds, who will sleep where etc. Well, he agreed that he is comfortable enough to start using NFP to avoid again. We used NFP for the first year of our marriage before DD#1. He feels this way if it happens it is Gods Will. He came to this conclusion after much prayer from both of us. We are Catholic so that is an issue for me as well.
Anyway, this turned out to be really long but it is nice to have found other Mamas that feel the same way I do. I am still tandem nursing my almost 2 and 3 year olds but my 2 year old has decided to potty learn and it just breaks my heart not to have a little fluffy butt in the house.
I am happy for the Mamas that are getting the children they so hoped for, hopefully I will join you soon