Why not FAM/NFP? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 17 Old 03-16-2007, 06:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi Mamas, I am asking this with the utmost respect xx

I used the pill when younger, then switched to condoms at 20. It is now at 34 I am learning NFP. Its success rate sounds fab.

Can I ask you, why would you NOT use FAM/NFP if it so successful? Why would other methods be more appealing? I am sure the answers are different for each woman, but I am just curious x

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#2 of 17 Old 03-16-2007, 08:55 PM
 
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I'm not a mama, but here's what I think:

1. ignorance. I only learned about it this year when I was taking pre-cana for our wedding, and it wasn't a lesson, just some couple talking about it. A friend on another board told me about TCOYF.

2. When you make a mistake using NFP/FAM, it's extra bad, b/c it's going to be around your fertile time. The change of error around your fertile time is less w/ bcp/condoms/etc... b/c you are using that through your whole cycle as if you are always fertile. I'm explaining this poorly, but it's in TCOYF on p. 359.

3. It takes more "work" than most any other contraception. It requires waking at the same time every day and checking cervical fluid when you go to the bathroom.

4. I think a lot of women find messing w/ their vaginas "gross". It's certainly not what most are raised to do, and I think almost everyone goes through an "ewwww" period when they are learning NFP/FAM. It's easy to get over, IMO, but it's there.

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#3 of 17 Old 03-16-2007, 09:20 PM
 
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It isn't a reliable method for people like me with irregular periods, or women with PCOS.
I can have one cycle that lasts 25 days, and the next can last for 45, and then other times I can go for months without having one at all. It's possible to ovulate without menstruating... I hadn't had a period for four months before concieving DS.

Also, it can be difficult to do when you are still nursing, and haven't had your first post-partum period.
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#4 of 17 Old 03-16-2007, 09:50 PM
 
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I've been wondering the same thing, specifically about sympto-thermal method. I have found it very reliable, even while nursing and having irregular periods. I know everyone is different, but I always seem to see some type of theramal shift/CM change and am able to pinpoint ovulation no matter how short or long my AF is. But like I said, thats just me, I know some people can have very irregular charts.

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#5 of 17 Old 03-16-2007, 09:54 PM
 
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It's most effective if you can do sympto-thermal. However there are women like me who cannot accurately decifer any fertility out of CM/CP. If you leave it out your chart (assuming you use charting software) it's difficult to go sloely on your temps. If you do include it it can confuse the software because you aren't "average" in it. I DO NOT have EWCM. Ever...in any amount at any time of any month. I have at the most 2 dry days. Not having that "standard" CM cycle can make it tough.

Plus like a PP mentioned...those with PCOS or abnormal cycles or nursing have an even harder time. While ideal it's not ideal for everyone BECAUSE our bodies are all so different.

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#6 of 17 Old 03-16-2007, 10:02 PM
 
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It's not a good method if you are not in a committed relationship or need STD protection. It would not have worked with my lifestyle when I was in my early 20s. I think most women don't know about it because drs don't have time to teach it and probably don't know it well anyway. It's not a money making method. The amount of information on the Internet has grown enormously since I started doing FAM/NFP about 5 yrs ago.
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#7 of 17 Old 03-16-2007, 10:50 PM
 
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I have very irregular cycles and I use the sympto-thermal method. my cycles range from 25-46 days in length. You don't have to be regular to chart effectively, because you're actively observing your fertility signals and not just counting days.

Obviously I use FAM but I can think of a few reasons not to:
painful periods. I have really painful cramps, and pain from small cysts. Going on the pill might solve those issues
life style. as a nurse I will probably be working weird hours, fam might not work so well then.
bleeding issues. if you have a very heavy period using nfp/fam might not be comfu for you
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#8 of 17 Old 03-16-2007, 11:05 PM
 
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Well, it really just didn't work for me. I gave it a go for awhile and I was doing fine but AM temping is so hard for someone who isn't a "morning person." I was constantly taking my temp in half-sleep and forgetting to record it, trying to commit it to memory and forgetting it later, or just flat out not remembering to temp at all. I'm so foggy in the morning that it was just really difficult! So I quit temping and went on to count days instead--like Cyclebeads, but without the beads. Voila! in a few week's time. Who would have thought I'd get all crazy and ovulate on day 25 one cycle?

Now I'm nursing and the up and down and up and down throughout the night isn't really conducive to AM temping. Additionally, my cervical fluid while nursing isn't really predictable anymore--it sways from fertile to non-fertile at all sorts of wacky times and it doesn't correlate at all with my cervical position anymore.

So we continue to use a barrier method and in two more cycles we plan to start TTC. After baby #2 makes his or her arrival I will probably get an IUD. I guess what it boils down to is I was just never committed enough to really put my nose to the grindstone and temp like I was supposed to. I can't rely on myself to stay on top of charting my fertility signs enough to use it to TTA unless I am ok with an "oops."

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#9 of 17 Old 03-16-2007, 11:14 PM
 
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The only time I really want to have sex is when I am fertile. Since that is when I would have to abstain to avoid pregnancy using NFP, I would never get to have sex when I want too.

And yes, when I am trying to get pregnant, I concieve on the first try...or at least I have three time

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#10 of 17 Old 03-16-2007, 11:14 PM
 
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I don't use it right now because it is very rare for me to get 3 hours sleep, but I have used it in the past, and will in the future.

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#11 of 17 Old 03-16-2007, 11:34 PM
 
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I don't know a ton about it, but here's what I *think*:

1) My periods haven't been what you waould call *regular* since before I had dd.

2) Taking temperatures would suck for me because I don't have a schedule as far as when I go to bed and when I wake up. It would vary a lot.

3) As far as I understand, you have to check your CM and cervix, and I am not at all comfortable about doing that, for personal reasons.

4) I'm not in a relationship anyways, so an IUD works for me as I don't have to wait for anything to take effect, and I am taking control of my own fertility.
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#12 of 17 Old 03-17-2007, 12:54 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sadean View Post
The only time I really want to have sex is when I am fertile. Since that is when I would have to abstain to avoid pregnancy using NFP, I would never get to have sex when I want too.

And yes, when I am trying to get pregnant, I concieve on the first try...or at least I have three time
Juist wanted to jump in and point out that you could still use FAM.

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#13 of 17 Old 03-17-2007, 11:36 AM
 
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1) I really love sex when I'm fertile, which is kind of besides the point of FAM. If I were using condoms I'd be using condoms as birth control, so what's the point of FAM? And I don't trust condoms at all after 2 past failures.
2) I think an IUD is more reliable. I believe that FAM is very (90+%) effective but I really don't buy that it's 99% effective. I wonder whose interests it's in to make such a claim. And if you're using condoms when fertile your risk of pregnancy goes way up compared to abstaining while fertile.
3) It's a lot more work than an IUD. I've done it in the past and may again, but it isn't as easy as people claim. You have to remember to take your temp and chart your CF, cervical position, etc. every day.
4) I think that a lot of anti-contraception voices are anti-choice and trying to hide that agenda.
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#14 of 17 Old 03-17-2007, 12:05 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gwen42 View Post
It's not a good method if you are not in a committed relationship or need STD protection. It would not have worked with my lifestyle when I was in my early 20s. I think most women don't know about it because drs don't have time to teach it and probably don't know it well anyway. It's not a money making method. The amount of information on the Internet has grown enormously since I started doing FAM/NFP about 5 yrs ago.
: And : to hottmama. I have an IUD also.

I got pg with my first while trying FAM.

Mama to 3 kids. We live in a yurt!
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#15 of 17 Old 03-17-2007, 07:34 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Wow thanks for sharing all you reasons- I guess it is not as easy as it seems!

Seems there are some failure rates here leading to a babe-don't think dh would be happy with that! Not sure how I will go with the temping due to still breastfeeding, but I want to give it a go.

I have to say IUD's scare me!! My friend here had an IUD put in years ago and it is one that apparently has kind of barbs on it, it is not used in this country anymore and she said the pain was excruciating as they took it out!!!

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#16 of 17 Old 03-18-2007, 04:30 AM
 
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I used FAM for years successfully and recently went on the Nuvaring. Reasons being since I didn't get pg (when I didn't want to that is, I used it for TTC as well) on it? We abstained during fertile times, and we don't want to use condoms and I got tired of not being able to dtd with reckless abandon. That is pretty much the reason. And it's nice not having to think about it after doing it for years and almost every month worrying "what if one made it? lived that long and I'm pregnant? What if???? What if I finally screwed up??" Anyways though, I was really afraid of going on the ring after being on the Pill for about a year, years ago. It really messed with me. I think I've found what works for me with the nuvaring though, I love it now.

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#17 of 17 Old 03-18-2007, 12:24 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Mand View Post

I have to say IUD's scare me!! My friend here had an IUD put in years ago and it is one that apparently has kind of barbs on it, it is not used in this country anymore and she said the pain was excruciating as they took it out!!!
IUDs are way different now than they were even just 15 years ago or so. (Much, much better.)

Feels just like a tug taking them out.

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