eta: I plan(if dh decides that he agrees with me ) to have them each(dd1 and dd2 are exactly 23 mos. apart) 2yrs(about 23-28 mos.) apart.
Both my girls love their little brother to pieces and have excepted him wonderfully! That has made it easier too!
"Be careful how you speak to your children. One day it will become their inner voice." ~ Peggy O' Mara
Cloth diapering, babywearing and co-sleeping has been a way of life for almost a decade now
Noe being PG with number three I was horribly ill and then going from two to three was alot harder than the one to two.
But not "end of the world, I want to cry all day" hard!
Number 3, WOW, that is hard! Only 21 months difference. I find myself chasing a 2 year old and running with a 2 1/2 month old in a football hold! While hollering at #1 to keep up! Some days I think that I must be quite a site!!!
I also only have very spirited children.:
Like a pp said, it wouldn't be man-to-man anymore. Now we can say "ok- I have her, you have him" or vice versa. I think it's going to be tough.
Our second and third will be at least 3.5 years apart, though, since dd will be 3 this fall.
~e, wife to my sweet T
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It's a hard decision for us, because we knew we wanted 2 but aren't sure about 3.
I'd like 3 yr. but it wasn't bad.
Mama to 4 amazing little people, another little expected 3/6/12!
Avid Unassisted Birth supporter/Mama
When you introduce another child to the family, there is that many more relationships going on--everyone to this new child and each other.
For us it has been a huge transition from 2 kids to three. It isn't because our children are well-behaved or difficult (attention: all children are well behaved and difficult at different stages. Don't get too comfortable ). It is more that logistics are way more complex now. Of course it will get easier as the baby grows older.
Mine are just turned 6 years, 3 years and 5 months.
I think the greatest thing about having a third child is the sense between my kids that they are now a significant mass, they are a 'gang' and they belong to each other. The way my 2 boys look and interact with their baby-sister is beyond beautiful.
So, of course it is difficult; but what else would I do? Read another book, draw more, or hold another beautiful baby?
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just be SUPER organized
"We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give." ~ Sir Winston Churchill
From one to two was so easy.. I hardly noticed a difference at all. My oldest was sweet and helpful and my youngest was an amazingly calm baby. They loved each other from the first time my oldest nearly tipped over the bassinet trying to get a better look at the baby... I was in heaven.
From two to three was shocking! I was not prepared for how different our lives would be. In planning I didn't understand why having three would be any different from having two, but I was only thinking in numbers... not ages.
My oldest was four and she started terrible three's at three and a half. Good times... lol.. my middle child was two and while she loved the baby, she didn't always appreciate NOT being the baby anymore. So if my oldest pitched a fit, my youngest would start to cry so I'd be trying busy trying to calm the both of them down, and my middle child would become beligerent because she wasn't getting all the attention and she is BY FAR the drama queen, when she gets mad at me, she's mad for a couple of hours! Three little ones was fairly crazy.
Now that they're a bit older its amazing.. My oldest is old enough to help the other two with anything and she gets to live the good life because she's the oldest. My second loves being the middle child cuz we're always aware that she's the middle child and so we make sure all three of them are treated equally. If anything my middle one gets alot of attention becuase she's sweet enough to give you a cavitiy is you stand too close!
And my youngest is just damn adorable.. right now we're all in perfect balance! We'll see how things go with the next one!
There are many small ways #3 is difficult for, for example:
When I had #2, #1 still took a nap each day, so I could potentially nap if they both slept at the same time. By #3 no one was napping, so I never got to take a nap during her newborn days.
Bedtime is a pain - all three kids need individual attention to get to sleep. There are only two (and often one) adults available, so one (or two) kids are running wild while I am trying to read to and brush teeth for a child - at the time of day when I have HAD IT and have trouble keeping my calm about me.
A wider age range means less chance of common abilities for the children, but they are no so far apart that they can be unsupervised. For example, I can't take #3 to baby-parent swim classes like I did #1. At the beach the older two want to go bogie boarding, but it is difficult for me to stay out in the deep water with them while holding #3 safely.
Overall, my DD is the easiest child - I am not sure how much is her personality and how much is my more relaxed attitude.
Mom to John (age 11), James (age 9) & Katherine (age 5)
Thank you to the BTDT mamas who have provided so much insight. 0-1 was REALLY hard for me and 1-2 was a breeze. So I'm wondering if I would be due for another challenge with 3. My DH feels done so this might be a moot issue but I'm thinking hard on the possibility of having one more child and weighing the pros and cons. My first 2 are nearly 4 years apart and ideally the next two would be between 3 - 3.5 years apart.
Relatively, ds3 was the easiest addition and now it's actually harder if one or two are away for an hour walking with daddy. I find that with three, they find many more ways to play than with only two. I am less required to set up play opportunities and can just observe more. Now, that said, I do still do much, much more than many other mums for set-up/facilitation because our children don't shut off, and sleep only 10 hours/day (the youngest has a 1 hr nap about three times/week in addition to that); ds1 and ds2 both quit napping altogether at 16 months and ds 1 only ever had one nap to begin with, for one hour (but that reduced his night sleep to nine hours, never longer than two-hour stretches : ).
I am on 'go' for 14 hours/day. The third was the easiest because he is very agreeable (with me because we have similar personalities- he is very challenging to dh though) and also very advanced so I have had less care-taking with him than even the others who were also very early with most physical (and all other) milestones. It has been enormously helpful that ds3 started walking at 8 months- that is VERY relieving. He was also sitting unassisted at 3 months, playing independently by then and started to say words to indicate needs just before four months old. I think it might have been harder if he had done these things at a more common time, but I don't have anything to compare with in my own experience.
By far, our most challenging infancy was ds1, so ds2 seemed easy by comparison and ds3 like he just came walking and talking out of the womb . I think the degree of easy vs. difficult that you experience will depend greatly on the child who is born and also on the dynamic of relationships in your family. Ds3's personality and characteristics have been instrumental in ds1 and ds2's bonding. He seems to have filled in the gap for them and it's been a wonderful blessing to watch their collective bond.
It's true about being out-numbered, but I have spent most of the time alone with the boys while dh works until recently, so I was outnumbered at ds2. That was the hardest transition for me.
I have also heard others say that it must be so hard to have ours so close together, but without a point of comparison, I just think it is what it is. For me, watching a friend with a 4 yr old and a newborn looked hard because the 4yr old can do pretty much everything on his own, or at least try (regardless of whether or not mum was aware or approving of what he was doing), whereas mine have all been still young enough that for most things, they had to ask me and then patiently wait until I could assist them. Now we'll have a 4 1/2 yr old with a newborn, but with two sons between and lots of experience for ds1, so I don't forsee that being a problem. Ds1 is naturally inclined to look to his brothers' needs and to desire to help me and has been increasingly helpful with each babe.
I think it's hard in some ways, whatever your situation, but in the end, it just is what it is, and you'll work together to make solutions to the dilemmas you find. If you are flexible and want this, you'll be fine. And even if you're not flexible, you'll find yourself being stretched in the ways that will allow everyone's needs to be met.
An aside- our former chiropractor told me that child #3 is the one she sees most frequently in [what she considers] large families because that's the one who falls off the change-table, bed, down the stairs, off the back of the couch, twists this and that etc... because of the typical desire to do everything the others are doing without yet the physical competence to participate. That is definitely true about our ds3 to an extent; the difference is that he actually acquired the ability to do things fairly evenly with his desire, so he's had very few accidents.
I am very long-worded, it seems. I tried to be as accurate as possible with my perceptions of our experiences thus far; I hope it's not off-putting.
Well, I've been absent for 8 months, and during that time, it turns out that I have completely transformed. You are all precious. Thank you for being here and sharing your lives. You are truly a gift. Jan. 23, 2012
I think ideally we'd have 5 1/2, 3 1/2 and new baby.
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