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#1 of 80 Old 09-21-2007, 09:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I can't belive that I'm this old and asking this question.... but does this work?

My husband says it does, and I'm kind of new in this department.

I was on birth control (Nuva ring for the first few months of our marriage, but it made me fat and loony. (As in crying for no reason the week before my period). So I stopped.

So... since I can't ask my mom... I'm asking you mama's- Is this a bad idea?

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#2 of 80 Old 09-21-2007, 09:33 PM
 
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It doesn't work.
As my sex ed teacher in college put it "some men dribble before they shoot."

Plus, it just seems like a really unpleasant way to end sex.
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#3 of 80 Old 09-21-2007, 09:37 PM
 
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it always worked great for me















until last march
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#4 of 80 Old 09-21-2007, 09:39 PM
 
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Granted, we weren't praying very hard but it doesn't work. Both our kiddos were conceived in that "practice before really trying" period; dh would be inside me for maybe a minute before pulling out and putting on a condom. (Sorry if TMI.) And we got pregnant really quickly both times.
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#5 of 80 Old 09-21-2007, 09:42 PM - Thread Starter
 
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The thing is, is that I don't think he's a dribbler..
I don't know... in the few months we've been married, we've tried so many things. First the ring, then condoms. I got a UTI while we were using condoms, and it hurt so bad that we are never using condoms again.

After that we just went to 'alternative fun' for a month or so, and now we do this.

Neither of us is ready to get pregnant... so I was actually coming here to find out about options.

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#6 of 80 Old 09-21-2007, 09:46 PM
 
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What about the Pill?

the Today Sponge?

Diaphragm?

And, as I'm sure you know, sperm is microscopic, so if some are coming out in the pre-ejaculate you wouldn't be able to see them.
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#7 of 80 Old 09-21-2007, 09:49 PM
 
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This chart is meant for teens, but it is a nice handy chart for fast facts of many options.

http://www.gurl.com/findout/guides/a...8892-2,00.html

Withdrawal alone?

Quote:
Description
The pull-out or withdrawal method is when a man pulls his penis out of the vagina before ejaculating.

Pros
It's always available, does not require supplies or hormones, and is free.

Cons
It requires great self-control, experience and trust, and it can be difficult for young men to know when to pull out. There is no protection against STDs with the pull-out method.

Effectiveness Against Pregnancy
85% with typical use, 98% with perfect use.
If you want to bump up the success of withdrawal and so you aren't at the mercy of your partner's skill in executing it, try pairing it with charting (www.tcoyf.com) to avoid your fertile times, a condom, having plan B handy (www.not-2-late.com, etc.

When you are def done with kids, DH can vasectomy if you guys want. It is less invasive than you having tubes tied.

A.
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#8 of 80 Old 09-21-2007, 09:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by astrophe27 View Post
This chart is meant for teens, but it is a nice handy chart for fast facts of many options.

http://www.gurl.com/findout/guides/a...8892-2,00.html

Withdrawal alone?



If you want to bump up the success of withdrawal and so you aren't at the mercy of your partner's skill in executing it, try pairing it with charting (www.tcoyf.com) to avoid your fertile times, a condom, having plan B handy (www.not-2-late.com, etc.

When you are def done with kids, DH can vasectomy if you guys want. It is less invasive than you having tubes tied.

A.
Thanks for the chart! I'm 25, but I think it will be useful... And don't get me wrong, I really want to have kids, but I just don't think we are ready right now. We waited until we were married, but with all this worry, it's just not as fun as it should be, you know? I kind of miss just messing around!

Texmati-- Knitter, Hindu, vegetarian, WOHM. Wife to superdadsuperhero.gif and mom to DS babyf.gif24 months, and DD boc.gif 8 months! .

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#9 of 80 Old 09-21-2007, 10:01 PM
 
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have you considered charting?
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#10 of 80 Old 09-21-2007, 10:21 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by mothragirl View Post
have you considered charting?
that's actually what I came to this forum abt. I wouldn't mind doing the pull and pray (and that chart says that it works about 85-98% of the time), most of the time, and then just not doing anything for about a week or so. That would be foolproof enough, for me. If we absolutly couldnt get pregnant, than we just wouldnt have sex, which is what we did before we got married.

Sadly enought, I think DH knows more about how my body works than I do...

I was kind of dissapointed in the taking charge for your fertility site... Everything was pay! I'm going to google around for some free charting sites...

Texmati-- Knitter, Hindu, vegetarian, WOHM. Wife to superdadsuperhero.gif and mom to DS babyf.gif24 months, and DD boc.gif 8 months! .

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#11 of 80 Old 09-21-2007, 10:22 PM
 
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Originally Posted by earthmama369 View Post
Granted, we weren't praying very hard but it doesn't work. Both our kiddos were conceived in that "practice before really trying" period; dh would be inside me for maybe a minute before pulling out and putting on a condom. (Sorry if TMI.) And we got pregnant really quickly both times.
:

"Oh God" is not a prayer, is it?

Go for this well-described method on "infertile" days only if you like surprises! It has worked for us so far but I was always kind of hoping I would prove DH wrong.
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#12 of 80 Old 09-21-2007, 10:25 PM
 
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I learned to chart from the book The Art of Natural Family Planning. Some people use fertilityfriend.com. Lots of people have learned from Taking Charge of Your Fertility. You don't need to use pull and pray if you don't mind going a week or two w/out having sex.
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#13 of 80 Old 09-21-2007, 10:54 PM
 
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It's worked for us for 2.5 years. (Maybe more, I am not counting our long distance time obviously, but we must have had more time together than that...) However we have never ever made a "mistake".

According to planned parenthood, there's only semen in pre-come if he has come recently, say in the last 24 hrs.

I second what PPs have said, that TCOYF is the book to read if you want to know more about your fertility cycle.
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#14 of 80 Old 09-22-2007, 12:08 AM
 
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it can be effective, but if you screw up it isn't very forgiving

btw did the condoms you were using have spermicide? when I was using spermicidal condoms I got really wicked UTIs. after a few years of use I developed a bad allergy to the spermicide.
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#15 of 80 Old 09-22-2007, 12:10 AM
 
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We tried it once. He'll be 4 in a couple months
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#16 of 80 Old 09-22-2007, 12:53 AM
 
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I'm going to google around for some free charting sites...
www.fertilityfriend.com is free and designed for ttc, but you can use it to chart and to learn the basics.
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#17 of 80 Old 09-22-2007, 08:52 AM
 
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btw did the condoms you were using have spermicide? when I was using spermicidal condoms I got really wicked UTIs. after a few years of use I developed a bad allergy to the spermicide.
Ditto. I can't use anything with spermicide, but non-spermicidal condoms are fine. I also have problems with the artifical hormones... that's how we first ended up charting.

Kash, homeschooling mommy to Gillian (8/5/00) and Jacob (3/23/05)
and Brigid Eleanor (11/20/08)
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#18 of 80 Old 09-23-2007, 08:36 AM
 
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I know many friends with "dribbler" babies in their midst.
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#19 of 80 Old 09-23-2007, 11:40 AM
 
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I would try condoms again, if I were you. There are all kinds and some can cause problems-- I am really sensitive (in a bad, nasty infection type of way) to latex, spermicide, and some lubricants. The only kind of condom I can use without paying for it a day or two later are the Durex Avanti condoms, which are polyurethane, no spermicide. Shop around and see what works... it's a painful process but once you figure it out, you're fine.
I have an IUD now which I love. No hormones, so no hormonal side affects, and your fertility is back as soon as you take it out. And it's good for up to 10 yrs.
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#20 of 80 Old 09-23-2007, 12:23 PM
 
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It's worked perfectly for dh and I....for 3 yrs. and counting. BUT you have to know how and when! Dh has to know his body and have great control. When it does fail it is USUALLY USER error, NOT the METHOD that failed.

DD2 was a suprise, BUT again it was USER ERROR.

I definitely second trying to chart your temps and reading TCOYF.

I dont' do it because dd2 still wakes up SEVERAL times a night and is still nursing like crazy so it just isn't practical for me at the moment.

HTH!
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#21 of 80 Old 09-23-2007, 12:24 PM
 
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Withdrawl has always worked for us. But if you for sure do not want to get pg yet then I would use something. Dh and I can't stand condoms. We feel that since we are married there shouldn't be anything between us during lovemaking. I will not take hormonal bc again because I took it for 7 years and don't want to put anything in my body like that again. Since I'm pg with #2 at this time we aren't having to worry about getting pg and Dh is doing to have a vasectomy in the next couple of months. To us there really wasn't a great form of bc to use after having a baby so I know the place that you are in. But an unplanned pg can be very hard if you or your partner aren't ready to have a baby. Best of luck to you!
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#22 of 80 Old 09-23-2007, 12:28 PM
 
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It's worked for us for the past six months. We use FAM and during my fertile times he pulls out right before he ejaculates.

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#23 of 80 Old 09-26-2007, 12:12 AM
 
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ask me how i got pregnant this time. if your not ready for baby use a more reliable contraseptive as this method is not the most dependable.

Lisa wife to Ronne and mom to 4 kids ,Thomas 4/92, Amanda 9/99, Christopher 8/06 & Nathaniel 5/08.
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#24 of 80 Old 09-26-2007, 04:19 AM
 
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I think the most important thing about using this method is you must be able to accept the fact that you COULD get pregnant and you need to be okay with that. DH and I don't want anymore children but are in a position that we would be okay as well, KWIM?

We've been using it for about 4 years along with charting/avoiding and I'm not totally in love with it, I'm tired of him pulling out honestly. He's also active duty military and has been gone most of this year, so that makes it easier.

After DH gets back in May, he's getting the V.
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#25 of 80 Old 09-26-2007, 10:07 AM
 
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I totally agree with Susaninitaly! If you would be okay with getting pregnant in the chance that it didn't work, then you could use this method.

That speaking though (I may be a minority here), we have been using this method for a combined total of at least 13 years (yes, you read that right) and we have never had an accident! My DH is perfect with his method though AND we never double dip if you know what I mean after the first time.
I have often prayed that this method would fail us, but to date is still hasn't.

Good luck in whatever you decide!!
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#26 of 80 Old 09-26-2007, 10:15 AM
 
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I was kind of dissapointed in the taking charge for your fertility site... Everything was pay! I'm going to google around for some free charting sites...

You can chart for free at fertilityfriend.com. It's a stripped-down version if you don't pay, but the features that you pay for are more for women who are trying to conceive, rather than women who are trying not to, so I would think that the free version of the site would be fine for avoiding conception.
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#27 of 80 Old 09-26-2007, 11:35 AM
 
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Originally Posted by fek&fuzz View Post
Plus, it just seems like a really unpleasant way to end sex.
:

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Diaphragm?
Love it!

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that's actually what I came to this forum abt. I wouldn't mind doing the pull and pray (and that chart says that it works about 85-98% of the time), most of the time, and then just not doing anything for about a week or so.
Keep in mind that the time that you are suppose to be abstaining, your body really wants to do otherwise. (My DH's favorite time of the month ). You may find that you still want a back-up method to use during your fertile time.

Wife to J, SAHM to W (03/06) ribboncesarean.gif at 32w4d, C (10/08) ribboncesarean.gif, and H (02/11) ribboncesarean.gif

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#28 of 80 Old 09-26-2007, 05:52 PM
 
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I've always heard that pre-ejaculation contains sperm. So if you don't want to become pregnant, I suggest a different method. Here is what wikipedia says about it: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coitus_interruptus

We can't use condoms with spermicide. Perhaps that's what caused your UTI? We've been using FAM and condoms for 10 years now, so of course that's what I would recommend. Get the book and learn to chart by hand first. Then when you know how to chart, you can switch over to the software.
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#29 of 80 Old 09-27-2007, 06:51 PM
 
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Yes preejaculation contains sperm, but it doesn't contain everything else in semen to sustain the sperm. So unless you're quite close to ovulation and have lots of fertile cervical mucus, even those few little guys that get in haven't got a chance to make it. I wouldn't trust that method unless I knew I wasn't fertile at the moment, or was only casually avoiding but open to pregnancy.
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#30 of 80 Old 10-04-2007, 02:12 AM
 
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I think it also really depends on the man -- of course, i have NO scientific evidence to back this up, but i imagine just like some girls are more fertile than others, so are some guys.

I used the method together with FAM for five years with my ex-fi.. In short, he pulled out when i was fertile and did not pull out when I was not fertile, and it worked. For five years.

Fast forward to this very week -- new fella, more vigorous sex life, we triple dipped (did not know that pre-ejac is MORE LIKELY TO CONTAIN MORE SPERM if you have already had sex, but apparently it does, and after three days on the internet, i damn sure know this now), and I was fertile. He pulled out. And now I'm a prayin'. Wouldn't mind being pregnant -- and all signs point to the fact that I am -- will let you know in a few days -- BUT its really too early in the relationship for all of this -- but it will be ok. . . .

Even better, just get a chuckle out of this: he's 36; i'm 32, we're both professionals with post graduate degrees, i told him i was probably fertile, he said it would be "okay" -- that he was "good", and here's the kicker, there were condoms on the bedside table. Somehow, its so much worse than if I were 16 and didn't know any better

My advice: figure something out that works best for both of you. If you are not ready to get pregnant yet, then the stress of this method is not for you.
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