Is it more 'natural' for the man or woman to get fixed? - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 26 Old 10-11-2007, 04:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Would it be more in tune with nature for the women to get fixed, since it is only preventing a tiny egg from coming down once a month? Where in a man, it is preventing a lot of sperm over and over and over?

I can see where that could cause disease in a man, but why would it cause problems in a woman (like they say it can)?
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#2 of 26 Old 10-11-2007, 07:48 PM
 
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Because your body is meant to ovulate, procreate, and nurse babies. There's nothing natural about birth control. Every form of birth control (condoms included) interrupts or "frustrates" a natural process.

Ecological breastfeeding is the most natural way to space babies.

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DS 10 reading.gif  DS 8 fencing.gif DS 5, DD 3 energy.gif and a new DS  belly.gif 3/2011
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#3 of 26 Old 10-11-2007, 10:12 PM
 
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Unfortunately, my body's idea of ecological breastfeeding is waiting until five weeks after birth. I pulled out all the stops too.

To the OP, I know it's more invasive, physically for a woman to have her tubes tied. And with today's machismo culture, a vasectomy can be particularly hurtful to the male psyche -- not to downplay the affects a woman would feel. I don't think I can draw a conclusion actually, but it's an interesting question.
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#4 of 26 Old 10-12-2007, 01:21 AM
 
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i think they are both equally unnatural...

but the procedure for a man is FAR less invasive than it is for a woman. when the time comes, DH will get the snip, NOT me! i gave birth and for HOW many years will my body have been subjected to various sorts of birth control... it's only fair. IMHO...
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#5 of 26 Old 10-12-2007, 01:29 AM
 
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I think either is unnatural. I think that fertility awareness is the way to go as far as preventing a pregnancy.

Best wishes!

Jen, mama to  (M-13, N- 10, C- 8 rainbow1284.gif J- 3.5, and rainbow1284.gifJ -2, angel3.gifA (10/4/07) and 3 early losses)
We are expecting baby #7 in November 2013

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#6 of 26 Old 10-12-2007, 02:10 AM
 
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Yeah, I think they are pretty much equally unnatural, though their effects may be shown in different ways.

I agree that breastfeeding, followed by fertility awareness, are the most natural methods.
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#7 of 26 Old 10-12-2007, 02:13 AM
 
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Neither one is "natural"- and I hate the phrasing "get fixed." It implies that you were somehow "broken" before. If anything, you're "broken" afterwards!

The simple fact that surgical sterilization is "unnnatural' doesn't mean that nobody should ever do it or that it isn't a good choice for many couples. Sometimes we pick the "less natural" choice for a whole variety of reasons.

If you want to discuss the pros and cons of vasectomy vs tubal ligation, I'd suggest leaving the word "natural" out.

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#8 of 26 Old 10-12-2007, 02:34 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Nitenites View Post
Because your body is meant to ovulate, procreate, and nurse babies. There's nothing natural about birth control. Every form of birth control (condoms included) interrupts or "frustrates" a natural process.

Ecological breastfeeding is the most natural way to space babies.
Maybe you didn't intend for it to come across the way this is to me but it sounds judgemental.

What about families that don't want to continue to have children until menopause sets in?

Once we are sure dh will have a vasectomy. It may not be natural but its better than me being on hormones or using a condom.

Mom of a 7 yr old, 4 yr old, and 1 yr old. Wow. How did that happen?
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#9 of 26 Old 10-12-2007, 02:42 AM
 
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I wouldn't say either is natural but for him to get the snip is FAR less invasive and thus results in less medical intervention, IMO. I wouldn't worry about which is more natural since really, neither is very natural. I would go for what works best for you and your partner. Best of luck.
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#10 of 26 Old 10-12-2007, 09:04 AM
 
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but the procedure for a man is FAR less invasive than it is for a woman.
:

I pray for the day Family Court recognizes that CHILDREN have rights, parents only have PRIVILEGES.  Only then, will I know my child is safe.
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#11 of 26 Old 10-12-2007, 09:18 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Ruthla View Post
The simple fact that surgical sterilization is "unnnatural' doesn't mean that nobody should ever do it or that it isn't a good choice for many couples. Sometimes we pick the "less natural" choice for a whole variety of reasons.

If you want to discuss the pros and cons of vasectomy vs tubal ligation, I'd suggest leaving the word "natural" out.
:
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#12 of 26 Old 10-12-2007, 10:59 AM
 
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I wouldn't say either is natural but for him to get the snip is FAR less invasive and thus results in less medical intervention, IMO. I wouldn't worry about which is more natural since really, neither is very natural. I would go for what works best for you and your partner. Best of luck.
Yep.

My partner will get a vasectomy when we decide we don't want any more kids.
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#13 of 26 Old 10-12-2007, 06:52 PM
 
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I dont think either is "natural" but I know with my DH (had a vasectomy this past April) the recovery time was easy for him. We hit a coffee shop on the way home, picked up our kids, went home, he put a bag of frozen peas on "there", took the next day off of work (he said he couldnt have gone but planned to have it off cause he didnt know what to expect), painted a bedroom. 2 days later we DTD. I think a tubal recovery would be a lot harder. Not to mention I dont have insurance, he gets his free through work and the vasectomy was only $30.

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#14 of 26 Old 10-13-2007, 01:56 AM
 
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Maybe you didn't intend for it to come across the way this is to me but it sounds judgemental.

What about families that don't want to continue to have children until menopause sets in?

Once we are sure dh will have a vasectomy. It may not be natural but its better than me being on hormones or using a condom.
My old dcp's husband got a V and 5 years later, they had a little girl. I think only removing the parts all together is a sure fire way and I wouldn't call that natural.

I know that both methods have effects, I don't think we know all of them for the men because it is a relatively new procedure, and I think many of the ones for the women have kind of been ignored and downplayed. My SIL had this done relatively early and she has had HUGE mood swings. She is only 26. But yeah, I agree with some of the previous posters that when discussing, you should probably leave the word "natural" out of it.

Ange. Mama to boys. Yup. All Boys. All Intact. A bunch of other NFL, crunchy credentials too.
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#15 of 26 Old 10-13-2007, 03:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Just have a sec- but I don't see what's wrong with using the word natural. I am as NFL as anyone here, and know what it means.

It's just like saying "what is more natural- fresh cow's milk or store bought cow's milk?" There are people who would agrue all day that NO cow's milk is natural (for people to drink) but obvoiusly fresh is, by default, *more* natural than store bought.

That is what I said in my title. What is *more* natural? I even put natural in quotes. I was trying to ask out of two hard choices, is either of them sticking closer to nature than the other. I still don't see anything wrong with that.
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#16 of 26 Old 10-15-2007, 01:55 PM
 
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I would say the man for two reasons
1) Women have up to a 50% chance of hysterectomy five years out from being fixed and up to 80% by 10 years. In my own life experience 100% of the women I've known/been related too who have gotten their tubes tied have had hysterectomies by year10. I don't personally know of any man who has lost his stuff from a vas ( not saying there are no risks for guys just less).

2. I watched/helped when I was younger my dad castrate many pigs. I doubt you could do the same to a female pig without much loss due to infection so I would consider it more natural as you could theoretically do it out in the sticks with less risk than doing internal surgery out in the sticks.

What I'm trying to say is a man could be sterilized easily with out modern medicine a woman could not without SERIOUS risk of infection and whatnot.

Clarification:
I just wanted to add I'm not advocating an at home vasectomy (or any sterilization) just that it would be safer/easier to do a vasectomy therefore more natural than a tubal ligation done at home

Mom to 6 with #7 on the way Sept 2014
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#17 of 26 Old 10-17-2007, 07:41 PM
 
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I think that the vasectomy is easier than the tubal ligation.
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#18 of 26 Old 10-22-2007, 11:52 PM
 
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I think it's better for the man to do permanent birth control. It's only fair. I personally would never have a tubal, even if DH refused a VS which he has not. He's willing, only I'm not yet sure. So, we use a Mirena for now.

Neither is "natural", it's all messing with nature, but heck, bottle feeding by choice is messing with nature, so it's a whole argument there.:-)

Mom to DD1 (11/1999),  DD2 (07/2003), and DS (11/2012), all born at home and cloth diapered. 

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#19 of 26 Old 10-25-2007, 05:06 PM
 
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I think the vas is easier and definitely less invasive than a tubal. For me I'd never get a tubal b/c to me I just think I'd feel wrong about it. Knowing that my body couldn't make more babies (or isn't suppose to) would make me sad even if I didn't really want more. I think this is why DH has agreed to vas b/c he knows I won't be getting a tubal. Part of me wonders if it'll feel too final if he does it though...
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#20 of 26 Old 10-25-2007, 05:54 PM
 
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Frankly, I don't think that either one is "natural" and I think either procedure will have physical reprecussion. If I had to guess (it's an un-educated guess); I'd say that men would suffer less long term physical side effects.

NOW, if you'd asked "which procedure is less invasive?"; I'd say the vasectomy is far less invasive than having your tubes tied. For men, it's "right there" but for women, you're looking at cutting right through to the midsection. If a woman is having a C-Section anyways, though, I'd say that would be the most ideal timing.

Another thing: women go through menstrual cramps, pregancy pain, labor pain, and breast pains (no matter if you BF or not); so I think the guy can take a little of the discomfort ...don't you?

Then again; my opinions are probably biast.

WARNING: The comments and opinions expressed above do not necessarily reflect those of the community in which I reside; or those of the internet parenting network.
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#21 of 26 Old 10-27-2007, 05:50 AM
 
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My old dcp's husband
I read this as "my old dp's husband"

***
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#22 of 26 Old 10-27-2007, 06:32 AM
 
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My dh said a long time ago that if either of us were to have a procedure done, it would be easier for him than for me. Since neither of us want to have our fertility taken away permanently, it is not an option that we are considering in the foreseeable future. Extended breastfeeding does not work for us, AF shows up within two to three months after my baby's birth. We do NFP most of the time. Both procedures are invasive, but if you had to choose the lesser of two evils a vasectomy would probably be less invasive. :
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#23 of 26 Old 10-27-2007, 01:48 PM
 
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I read this as "my old dp's husband"
I had to think back to what I was writing about when I read it that way.

I found some cool websites...

www.tubal.org

www.dontfixit.org

Ange. Mama to boys. Yup. All Boys. All Intact. A bunch of other NFL, crunchy credentials too.
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#24 of 26 Old 10-27-2007, 10:25 PM
 
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I had to think back to what I was writing about when I read it that way.

I found some cool websites...

www.tubal.org

www.dontfixit.org
That's some serious stuff! I have never read of those complications in the mainstream media...interesting.

Mom to DD1 (11/1999),  DD2 (07/2003), and DS (11/2012), all born at home and cloth diapered. 

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#25 of 26 Old 10-27-2007, 10:54 PM
 
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That's some serious stuff! I have never read of those complications in the mainstream media...interesting.
I don't think we would. It's just what is "done." Just like we don't hear about complications in taking drugs during labor, circumcision or anything else that is done without questioning. It was good to finally find some sites that weren't afraid to say that yeah, there are consequences and sometimes things go wrong.

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#26 of 26 Old 10-28-2007, 01:29 PM
 
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Tubal ligation: laproscopic surgery done with general anesthesia sometimes they insert a coil to ligate (close) thte tube, other times they snip and cauterize (burn) the tubes closed--very effective but a significant surgery with all the risks of anesthesia and rarley nagging surgical pains

Vasectomy: 15 minute office procedure done with a local anesthetic (like novocaine at the dentist) Slightly more effective than a tubal ligation.... Rare side effects like swelling in the area--takes a few weeks of ejaculations to "clear the pipes" before its effective
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