I really want a baby but Im single... - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 8 Old 11-26-2007, 02:13 PM - Thread Starter
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Just needed to say that to someone. I know it sounds stupid but thats how it is right now. DS is 5 and I really really really long to be pregnant again, go through those special 9 months, give birth (not looking forward to birth!), and go through the newborn and baby stage again. Ive been longing for this for about 4 months now. I felt it when DS was 2.5 for a couple weeks but the feeling went away, but it hasnt gone away this time!

Im single so theres no possibility of it happening Strange thing is im not sure I even want a partner yet. I enjoy being single, and dont feel ready to be in a relationship. But I want a baby.

Anyone else felt like this? Any advice? (Yes I know im weird)
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#2 of 8 Old 11-26-2007, 02:15 PM
 
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Not weird at all. It's called becoming a "single mother by choice." I've been trying on my own (first TTC, then adoption, now TTC again) since 2005.

A great SMC board is here: http://www.network54.com/Forum/245234/

Come post & introduce yourself. Not weird at all!

crafty mama to Chloe and Emma (10/08) and Piper
emergency medicine PA and single mother by choice
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#3 of 8 Old 11-26-2007, 02:19 PM
 
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There's nothing wrong with that. You're a mother whether you're single or not. I say go for it. There's NOTHING that says there HAS to be somebody present to make that happen. I also know many adoption agencies that will allow single Mothers to adopt infants. I know you want to go through the pregnancy part but I am stating this to prove the point that even the gov't doesn't think there "NEEDS" to be a second parent.
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#4 of 8 Old 11-26-2007, 02:27 PM - Thread Starter
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Thank you. I have thought briefly about in the future if I still feel this way I could use a sperm bank to get pregnant. But then my child wont know its father and having a child already with no father I know that isnt best for them. They deserve to know where they come from, what their father is like looks wise and personality, his job, interests etc. When hes a teenager he will be missing a part of his identity and I dont want that for any other child if I can help it. So I guess a sperm bank is out.......

I will check out that link, thank you.
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#5 of 8 Old 11-26-2007, 02:51 PM
 
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I haven't read much about this, but you can adopt a frozen embryo through this organization. If I was still single I would probaby have done this already. Good luck

Married to wonderful DH 10 yrs DS 9yrs self-weaned @ 3 1/2 yrs  TTC 3 yrs got preg 4 months after HSG with DS 4yrs self-weaned at 3 1/2 yrs  Hope to have more little ones but have secondary infertility issues so we'll just have to see what the future brings Enjoying homeschooling and farming
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#6 of 8 Old 11-27-2007, 12:31 AM
 
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Originally Posted by aMothersLove View Post
Thank you. I have thought briefly about in the future if I still feel this way I could use a sperm bank to get pregnant. But then my child wont know its father and having a child already with no father I know that isnt best for them. They deserve to know where they come from, what their father is like looks wise and personality, his job, interests etc. When hes a teenager he will be missing a part of his identity and I dont want that for any other child if I can help it. So I guess a sperm bank is out.......

I will check out that link, thank you.
Not necessairly true. We used an open ID donor from a bank and the donor signed an agreement saying he agrees to meet the child IN PERSON once the child turns eighteen.

Rainbow Flag bank gives the mother access to the donor's information when the child is 3 months of age. If the mother has not contacted the donor by the time the child is one, the mother's information is given to the donor. I think both parties agree to meet in person within a year or so of the birth. For the right person, that may be a comforting arrangement. With rainbow flag, you MUST sign an affidavit swearing that you will not circumcise any child created with their donor sperm!

Any close male friends who may want to co-parent?
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#7 of 8 Old 11-27-2007, 07:43 AM - Thread Starter
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That sounds better as the child will know who their bio-father is.

But since you are choosing his sperm, you aren't getting to know the man himself, what if you meet up when the child turns one, as you said, and this man turns out to be really nasty or you just dont get along at all with him. Then what do you do?

And can I ask why both parties agree to meet up within a year? Instead of waiting until the child is 18 or something.

(I have no close male friends btw)Well actually there might be one person who comes to mind! Theres a guy im sort of friends with, more an aquantance, but I really like him. But I haven't done anything with him, like gone on a date or anything because hes a lot older than me. Hes said he likes me, a year ago he said if he were 20 years younger he would ask me out! Hes been divorced and has grown up kids and some youngish grandkids. Hes about 50 I think. Its wrong to be with someone that much older than me right? But is it also wrong to consider them to have a child with me too?
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#8 of 8 Old 11-27-2007, 12:40 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aMothersLove View Post
Anyone else felt like this? Any advice? (Yes I know im weird)

Not weird at all - I was a single momma for about 10 years and always wanting another little one. ended up waiting till I did find another partner and have finally moved forward on having another child. I even brought up the idea of having a little one before my partner and I were seriously dating, hehe, wonder how things would have turned out different if that'd actually happened. At the time, I really just wanted another child more than another partner, but ended up liking the partner enough to keep him instead.

Karen happily partnered mother of 3 beautiful girls (teen/toddler/newborn).
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